Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The original content including, but not limited to, the ideas, plot line, characterization and intellectual property of this story are owned by OliviaRising. September 2010.

A/N: Yay! An update! This is an emotional chapter, so get your tissues ready. Let's just say that Bella has had enough of me screwing things up between her and Edward!

Thank you to all of my fabulous reviewers- you guys sure know how to make me laugh!

As always: Review = Teaser

A Beautiful Melody

Chapter Twelve

I feel like utter shit by the time I get back to the apartment. I'm such a hypocrite. I know I had every right to kiss Riley, but how can I stay mad at Edward for doing the same thing? This is one major clusterfuck!

I trudge into my room with my shoulders slumped in defeat. When did my life get so complicated? Not to mention, things will only get worse once Jacob gets back on Friday- he'll wonder why I am -was- spending so much personal time with Edward...

I strip out of my clothes and dress in comfy, grey lounge pants and a white, v-neck, long-sleeved t-shirt. Running a comb through my hair, I contemplate how this all began.

I told myself that I would be this new Bella- that I would not be intimidated- that I would never run away from a problem... yet, here I am, hiding in my apartment while my problem is aimlessly wandering around New York just as desolate as I am. What does that accomplish? I'm tired of the misunderstandings. I'm tired of not knowing where we stand. Why is it so hard to communicate?

Setting my comb down, I stride into my closet, bursting with determination. I grab my black trench coat and my black rain-boots and I slip them both on over my lounge wear as I stumble toward the door. I grab my purse and cell phone off foyer table, and then I exit the apartment, slamming the door shut behind me.

It is pouring outside, but I don't care. I hail the nearest cab, and jump in without a thought.

"Where to, ma'am?"

"Take me to...um..."

Shit! I don't know where he lives! I stare blankly at the cab driver, trying to wrack my brains for any clues. He said he lived near the restaurant Raw...

It's not like I can call him, he probably won't even answer. So, I do the next best thing I can think of. I pull out my cell phone and scroll through my received calls. I dial the number and she picks up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Um, hello- Irina?"

"Yes."

Lovely to talk to you too...

"This is Bella, you know, Isabella Swan? Um, I have... something... to give Edward, but I don't have his address; so, I was wondering if you could possibly tell me where he lives..."

I sound like such a creep!

"You can bring whatever it is to the office. He'll get it tomorrow morning."

"It's kind of urgent. I need to get it to him right now. It's practically life or death."

"I don't know how Mr. Cullen would feel about me giving you his home address without his consent..."

I can hear her resolve slowly cracking.

"I think he would be more upset if he didn't get this... thing... immediately. Don't worry, I'll take all of the blame if necessary."

"If it's really that urgent..."

"It is."

She reluctantly gives me his address and I'm not the least bit surprised to see that it is located in one of the most expensive areas in the city.

The cab driver gives me an uncertain look when I tell him where I want to go- he obviously notices that I am practically dressed in my pajamas.

When I arrive at Edward's magnificent building, I'm a little intimidated by its sheer size and the fact that there is a doorman waiting under the large awning.

When I approach the entrance, the doorman, wearing gloves and a top hat- yes, a top hat- holds open the massive door for me. I want to reconsider my decision to seek out Edward, but I am pushed forward into the grand lobby by a group of finely dressed ladies entering behind me.

The lobby looks like that of a grand hotel. I feel like I just walked into the Four Seasons. There is a concierge, a waiting area and four stainless steel elevators- I wouldn't be surprised if they offer room service as well.

Realizing that I don't know Edward's apartment number or floor, I hesitantly walk up to the seemingly friendly man behind the concierge desk.

"Hi, um- I'm here to see Edward Cullen..."

Great- now I sound like I'm signing in for a doctors appointment.

The man lifts his eyebrows in surprise and quickly glances over my bedroom attire.

"Mr. Cullen didn't mention that he is expecting any guests. I can call him if you would like."

Of course- it's not like he is just going to hand me Edward's key. Why couldn't Edward live in a regular apartment where I could just storm up the staircase and bang on his door like a normal person. This really puts a cramp in my plans.

"Ma'am?"

Oh, right- I still haven't answered him. Should I have him call Edward? I did come all this way...

"Yes, could you please call Edward."

"Who shall I say is here?"

"Bel- Isabella Swan."

I wait anxiously as he calls Edward from the desk phone. The phone call only lasts a few seconds and I'm relieved when he when he hangs up the phone and gives me a temporary elevator key.

"The elevator to the penthouse is just around this corner, Miss Swan. That key will expire after one use, so be sure to have me recharge it if you want to use it again."

I look down at the little gadget in my hand- only Edward would give visitors an electronic key with an expiration date.

I follow the concierge's directions and swipe the electronic key over the sensor for the sleek, private penthouse elevator. I'm suddenly even more nervous than I was initially- I've only seen Manhattan penthouses on episodes of Cribs or those luxury spreads they do in Life & Style magazine. I feel like i'm walking into the lion's den.

When the steel doors reopen on the top floor, I'm greeted with the epitome of modern living. Everything is sleek, simple, clean and sophisticated. The stark white walls are modernly contrasted with dark wood floors and furniture. The foyer alone is bigger than my living room. At the end of the foyer is a large archway that connects to a vast living room fitted with panoramic windows that give the most amazing view of the city.

I'm in such complete awe of the spectacular view that I don't even notice Edward walking toward me until he is directly in front of my face.

"Isabella, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

I take a quick moment to glance over his appearance. He still has an air of confidence around him, but I can see the subtle look of defeat in his eyes. I want nothing more that to pull him into my arms and hug it out- just like on Full House. But sadly, hugging won't fix our problems... though it couldn't hurt...

"Uh, I just want to explain what you saw earlier."

This is a lot more awkward than I thought it would be...

"Isabella, you don't have to explain anything to me. What you do on your own time is none of my business."

Well, that's a complete one-eighty from when he was telling me that everything I do is his 'concern'.

I'm still standing awkwardly in his foyer, suddenly feeling ridiculous for rushing over here without bothering to put on any decent clothes. I'm practically in my pajamas with my feet stuffed in wellingtons!

"I just want to clear the air..."

Edward nods in understanding and then leads me into his huge living room. His apartment- if you can even call it that since it's bigger than most homes- is impeccably designed, yet it doesn't feel lived in at all. I feel like I'm standing in the model apartment- the one they show to prospective buyers to help paint a picture of what their apartment could look like.

He leads me to his dark brown, L-shaped couch that faces a modern fireplace and a huge plasma television.

"Would you like something to drink?"

Normally, I would say no, but I can already feel my mouth drying up and I really need to hold something so I won't fidget too much.

"Yes, please."

Edward walks over to the adjoining, spacious kitchen and uncorks a bottle of wine. The kitchen, with all of its fancy, high-tech appliances, looks like it belongs on the food network.

Edward hands me a glass of wine and sits down next to me, though not nearly close enough.

"What did you want to talk about?"

I take deep, calming breath and quickly contemplate where to begin.

"I didn't really plan what I came here to say... I'm kind of winging this. I just feel like everything is so messed up. Our relationship has become so completely skewed over the past two weeks and I've never felt so confused in my life.

"I know that I didn't handle what happened at the banquet well- I shouldn't have just cut you off like that... it's just- I couldn't understand why I felt the way that I did."

Edward is listening intently to my jumbled-up speech without interrupting.

"I just- I really want to define what we are to each other. I don't want anymore miscommunications. We've been doing this strange dance for weeks now and I want to finally straighten everything out- once and for all..."

I don't really know what more to say and Edward's face is completely unreadable. I know I've admitted too much already, but it needed to be said.

This awkward pause has stretched so long that I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable. Thankfully, just as I'm about to get up and run out, Edward speaks up.

"I understand what you mean, Isabella. I don't want you take all of the blame- or any of it, for that matter. I don't know how to do this," he says, motioning between us."I've managed to keep you at an arm's length for so long, and now- now, I've created a huge mess.

"I knew from the beginning that getting to know you would be a bad idea... for both of us. But when Black told me that you would be heading the project while he's away, I just couldn't resist."

Edward pauses, his emerald eyes searching mine, before he continues.

"When we kissed at the art gallery opening, it was my best and worst mistake. I know who I am, Isabella, and I'm no good for you.

"That kiss completely messed with my head- I couldn't think straight. I had to do something, anything. I think we both know which path I chose to take. But, Isabella, know this- I would do anything to take it back... anything to erase that look on your face from my mind...

"I tried to leave you alone, to let you live your life, but I just couldn't... the pull was too strong. I'm sorry that I was such a persistent pain... I'm sorry that I hurt you..."

My eyes are tearing up. I had expected to talk, but I hadn't expected that.

"But that doesn't excuse my behavior, Edward. We should have had this talk last week and I shouldn't have gone out with Riley- it wasn't fair to you or to him. I can't say that I forgive you for what happened at the banquet, but I can try to move on... I guess I just want to know where we go from here..."

Edward sets down his wine class and looks directly into my red-rimmed eyes.

"I promise I won't bother you anymore, Isabella. This project will end soon and after that, you won't hear from me again."

Those words hurt more than anything else he has ever said or done.

I could just agree with him and get up and leave, but I promised myself no more miscommunications.

"No, Edward, I don't want that... and, hopefully, you don't either. Everything is so messed up right now, but I'm willing to work through it. I think we can move past all that has happened."

Tears are streaming down my cheeks of their own volition, but my voice is surprisingly steady. I didn't expect this conversation to be so emotional... it's more of a heart-to-heart than a confrontation.

"Isabella, I can't. I'm not a relationship kind of man. You deserve a doting boyfriend, and I will only be a disappointment. I have... too much baggage. I've never experimented with commitment, and you deserve more than a test run."

Without thinking I grab his hands and hold them between mine.

"Edward, I'm new to this too. I have no idea what I'm doing but I want to make this work... I can't imagine leaving here and never speaking to you again... that thought is horrifying."

Edward tears his eyes away from mine and looks anywhere but at my face. His hands are still clasped between mine, but I can feel him pulling away emotionally.

I start to panic- I can't let him pull away, not again.

RUH-ROH!- (insert Scooby-Doo voice)

What is Bella going to do? Will Edward pull away, causing them to repeat the cycle all over again? Jacob will be back soon- what's he going to say about all of this?

And most importantly- when will Bella and Edward finally do it?

Let me know your thoughts!

xXx Olivia