SECRET - OMD
I got a secret and I can't explain
All the time, I've waited for this day
All along I was never in doubt
I always knew it would never get out
There are things that I cannot tell
And there are things that you know damn well
This is getting very hard for me
I guess you'd better just wait and see
This is all, this is all
You heard a message and the message was clear
All the time you wipe away that tear
And all I want is to hold your hand
To see the sun and walk the sand
You make me sad and you make me glad
And now you see all my secret is this love
Is love, Is love
My secret is this love
Everyday you're always there
You comfort me
And make me feel it's worth my while
And then I look around and you're not there
And everyday you say you care and I'll beware
This is all, this is all
I've got a secret and I can't explain
All I want is to hold your hand
All along I was never in doubt
To see the sun and to walk the sand
CHAPTER TEN
Secret
Finn knew she would see him…
That it would only be a couple of hours after their emotional confrontation when she'd seek him out and tell him what she didn't get to finish and chances are she'd most probably be seething…
She would probably lash out at him and rant and rage and pretend that she did not mean what she said in the way he understood it and looking at her now with her hands folded across her chest, her eyes shooting daggers at him and with her chest heaving, it seems like he was not mistaken…
"Don't you dare smile at me that way Finn Hudson…You think this is a laughing matter?"
She admonished him from across his trailer…Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were set firmly in a thin line yet despite the fact that he knows how angry she is, he still just can't stop himself from grinning…
SHE MISSED HIM…
AND WANTS HIM…
And she never got to say it back but since he's been right on the spot about everything else this morning, he's pretty sure that just like him, she still loves him…
"You look beautiful when you're angry do you know that?"
He said tenderly…
The smile that he's been trying to control still playing about his lips as Rachel stopped her tirade in surprise over his unexpected response before she pulled herself together and reverted to her order of business…
"I AM NOT MESSING AROUND WITH YOU FINN!"
She burst out in frustration… Looking so much like a petulant little child that it was all Finn can do not to gather her in his arms and to smother her with kisses…
"I left Jesse at home and he's- he's- LIVID! It was bad enough that he almost caught us in bed this morning but for you to goad him even further -"
She waved her hands around the air frantically as if she was trying to find the words before closing her eyes in an attempt to calm herself down considerably…
"I- I thought we could be adults about this whole thing but obviously you don't even know the meaning of the word… I should have thought better than to think that I can speak about this topic like a matured person with you… and -"
Finn stopped himself from chuckling as he watched the play of emotions on her face…
He loves the way she moved…
The way she clipped her words when she was angry….
Fuck… He simply loves her…
Period…
Unable to resist the urge, he walked towards her…His gaze never leaving Rachel's as she slowly backed away like a scared little animal towards his dresser in a desperate effort to thwart his advances…
"and- and QUIT IT!"
She shouted nervously…
"Quit what"
He whispered… His eyes hooded with desire as he fixed her gaze on her lips as if he'd kiss her any minute…
"Quit looking at me as if you want to get inside my head- as if - as if you've seen me- you've seen me- naked…"
She uttered the last word in a secretive whisper…
He would have almost laughed out loud if not for the fact that their faces are only now inches apart from each other and if not for the fact that he finds the way she licked her lips to be way too distracting…
"But I have - And it is a sight, Rach… A sight that was even better than I imagined in my head over and over the entire time that we're not together… "
And his voice was filled with longing and wanting and Rachel groans before covering her face exasperatedly…
:"DAMMIT FINN! I cannot believe this! Let's just put our heads on straight and stop this!"
But she knows even before the words left her mouth that they already can't…
"But don't you see Rach? We can't… We can't stop anymore… Not when you want me as much as I want you…"
And It was as if he read her mind…
And he was right…
Finn was right….
They've been playing this silly game of cat and mouse ever since their paths crossed again and though she'd like to think that she came storming here to tell him to back off and leave her the hell alone, she knows that the reason why she was REALLY here right now in front of him was NOT because she was angry but because she NEEDED an excuse to see him…
So yes, she'd better stop…
Stop lying to herself and just admit once and for all that eight years is not enough for her to forget him because there's always been something between them…
Something that no matter how hard she tries to deny would still be there no matter how much time they spent apart…
Not eight years…
Not in this lifetime…
"This is crazy… I'm behaving like an idiot…"
She whispered under her breath as Finn felt her resistance flee when she pressed her forehead against his chest tiredly and he lifted her chin to look into her eyes before brushing his lips softly against hers…
"Kiss me back Rach… Kiss me back and i'll give you anything you want…. I'd give you the freakin' universe if that's what it takes… But if you'll have me back, I'll do much better than that…"
Rachel stared into his deep chocolate eyes… Her heart beating loudly against her chest as the once familiar feeling of hope and happiness threaten to overwhelm her just like it did when he first told her to break a leg and that he loves her in the wings of that dark, quiet stage…
"What else can you possibly give me if I take you back?"
She asked curiously and Finn lets out a slow smile…
"Happiness…"
Rachel felt tears fill her eyes… it was an answer that had been a long time coming but it was still something that she was not expecting…
Somehow she felt that Finn is feeling the same as she watched his adams apple bob up and down his throat as he looked at her with all the love that he feels for her written in his eyes…
"I'll give you the happiness that I wasn't able to give you when I broke your heart… I'd make up for all my mistakes- I'd give you anything you want— EVERYTHING you want….I come with it, of course. It's a package deal…You can continue your singing and acting career but we'd be a family…You'll win your Tony's and we'll have children ... I'd like six…But I'd settle for one. You don't have to decide now -"
And that was the time that she stood up on her toes and kissed him…
Finn's eyes widening in surprise before his hands clamped the back of her head holding her mouth to his while his other arm angled down across her back holding her hips tightly against his….
And Rachel was lost….
Locked to him from head to toe… possessed by his hands and mouth and tongue… she gave in…
She kissed him with all the pent up desire and frustration that she's felt over not having him beside her for the past eight years…Her hands sliding up inside his shirt and her fingers splaying wide of their own accord as they spread against the muscled warmth of his chest…
Finn moaned as his tongue stroked intimately against hers, his mouth forcing hers to open wider, and Rachel welcomed the invasion of his tongue, helplessly kissing him back with all the desperation and desire that she's feeling without holding back…
And when they parted and broke for air they were both breathing heavily as if they just finished a mile long race…
"Wow… that was - that was-"
Finn has his forehead against the top of her head… Rachel's face buried against his chest and her arms wrapped around his waist as they both tried to still their beating hearts
"Better than fireworks?"
She said teasingly in an obvious reference to the way that he described Quinn's kisses all those years ago that she never quite forgot…
He pushed her tenderly away to look at her face… His own etched with worry but a smile quickly making its way across it when he saw her humor filled gaze…
"WAY BETTER! CAN NOT EVEN COMPARE… NAH-UH! That was like a- Like a- Volcanic eruption! A- A- Nuclear explosion! The- The- Big Bang Theory!"
And she dissolved into a fit of giggles before hugging him tightly as if she never ever wanted to be apart from him again…
"How can you not break up with Jesse when you kiss me that way?"
He asked quietly, breaking the moment…
Unlike her though, there was a seriousness in his voice that was not present in hers when she took a jab at him about Quinn…
She knew that Finn had always been possessive and jealous when it comes to her…
However, unlike the ego that he had in high school where all that jealousy stemmed from, there seems to be a deep seated insecurity in him at this moment when it comes to her that she just wanted to wash away…
But how could she when there's still Jesse to think of?
Jesse whom right at this moment is at his hotel room probably knowing the truth and yet turning a blind eye to it simply because he loves her that much and because he doesn't want to lose her…
She took a deep breath… Inhaling Finn's scent as she squeezed him closer to her as if to seek comfort from that gesture that when she spoke again her voice was muffled against his chest…
"I'd- I'd get to it… I promise… Just - Just give me time…"
She lifted her eyes to look at him…
"For now can we- can we just keep everything on the down low until I settle everything with him?"
Finn averted his gaze away from her… His jaw clenching for a moment that Rachel thought he would never agree…
"Please? For me?"
And he rolled his eye in exasperation as he looked at her upturned face…
"DAMMIT! Alright! A week… and no less…"
He said begrudgingly in acknowledgment that where she's concerned he's always been weak…
And Rachel can't help but giggle at how he sounded so childish as if someone is planning to steal her away from him…
"It's not funny Rach! I just want to announce to the world that you're mine and stop all those idiots that declare their love for you all over the news like Theo Stockman and Landon Beard and-WHAT?"
Finn looked nonplussed as he watched Rachel wag her fingers at him with an amused look on her face…
"AHA! I knew it! How'd you know that I used to date those guys and that they liked me?
She raised her eyebrows at him playfully…
You were stalking me!"
She shouted triumphantly as she leaned forward against him conspiratorially…
"I- I WAS NOT!"
He said defensively…
"I just ACCIDENTALLY happen to buy everything that had you on it and follow all the shows that you're featured in and- Are you laughing at me?"
Finn said sternly as Rachel's shoulder shook with laughter…
"Where the hell do you get all these junk?"
She replied with merriment dancing in her eyes…
"I told you… The internet…"
He mumbled under his breath as he flushed deep red at how pathetic he sounded now that Rachel discovered that he stalks her and that he follows every move she makes…
But unlike the teasing and gloating that he was waiting to hear from her instead, his eyes widened in surprise as she put her hand against his cheek delicately…
The amusement that was previously in her eyes now replaced with tenderness as she fixed her gaze on him…
"I like it… I like it that you care enough to know what's going on with my life… Thank you Finn… for waiting for me all these years…"
And as she tiptoed on her feet to hug him tightly once again against her, Finn felt how his life is now complete and despite the fact that Jesse is still around, nothing can break the happiness he feels…
Not with Rachel in his arms and her hands wrapped firmly around him…
Not when he's looking forward to building a future with her that's filled with promise and hope and love and singing
With her…
His former Glee co-captain…
His duet partner…
His girl…
The love of Finn Hudson's life…
Rachel Barbara Berry…
AUTHORS NOTE:
How'd you like this chapter? :)
I somehow felt that i was writing it all over the place but i hope i still made sense... Comments are much appreciated so please leave a note! I would love to hear from you!