RUN TO ME - NICK LACHEY
Over your head,
Trying not to drown.
Reaching for a breath,
Before it drags you down.
Caught in between,
All the pain you feel,
You lost control,
Your letting go,
But I never will.
I'm holding on for you,
I'm fighting for your life.
And when your blinded by this jaded world,
I'll be your eyes.
Even if you fall,
I won't let you break.
When all the noise is telling you
To run away,
Run to me.
Day after day,
After all you seen,
Its alright if you feel like unraveling.
I'll be right here.
I'm pushing out the walls,
To find the place,
Where you can say,
Brave through it all.
I'm holding on for you,
I'm fighting for your life.
And when your blinded by this jaded world,
I'll be your eyes.
Even if you fall,
I won't let you break.
When all the noise is telling you
To run away,
Run to me.
When I was lost,
Hanging on by a thread.
I knew I could run to you,
To find myself again.
I'm holding on for you,
I'm fighting for your life.
And when your blinded by this jaded world,
I'll be your eyes.
And even when you fall,
I won't let you break.
When all the noise is telling you
To run away,
Run to me.
Baby run to me
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Run To Me
Birthdays are supposed to be happy…
It's supposed to be festive and fun and crazy but how could it be that way when she is seated at Breadstix in front of her boyfriend (and if things go as planned today, soon to be ex) and she's very much aware that her (secret) lover will arrive just a few minutes later?
Really…
She wished she knew what Jesse was thinking when he invited Finn along for a celebration that he had initially planned for just the two of them or that Finn had listened to her about telling him no instead of yes when Jesse broached the suggestion in the first place…
Hell…
If not just for the good natured way that Jesse mentioned that he just asked Finn "for old times sake", she would honestly think that he's seeking some form of underhanded retribution for the way that they are sneaking around behind his back, except that she's sure that he's still completely in the dark about the goings on between them and that he doesn't even have a clue about what the real score is between Finn and her…
Or perhaps, that's just what she'd like to believe…
How could she be so delusional as to assume that just because Finn and her have officially gotten back together everything would just be flawless and easy and smooth sailing?
That just because they have found their way back to each other, everything would simply fall into place and just like a fairytale they'd now get to live their lives happily ever after?
In some ways, maybe they are…
Living life as if it was a dream as they spend their days encased in a bubble of never ending cheerfulness and exhilaration while they spend their nights wrapped up around each other…
A tangle of arms and legs that one can never tell where one of them ends and the other begins while everyday passes by in a cloud of happiness as they talk nonstop and share all their thoughts and fears and feelings until they are just both silenced because of the awe they sometimes feel at their overwhelming love for one another…
She wishes it was as perfect as it sounds…
That it would end there…
But there's still the blinding fact that despite that happiness, officially, Jesse and her are still very much together…
That simple detail that she should have ended about a week ago and which is now taking a toll on her conscience and her relationship with Finn as he impatiently waits for the day when she'd make a clean break except that she doesn't know how to get there or if she even knows where to begin …
"Happy Birthday Rachel…"
Rachel watched Jesse smile at her from across the candlelit table as he reached into his pocket before presenting her with a long, rectangular box…
There was so much happiness and expectation written on his face as he urged her to take his gift and unwrap it that when Rachel's eyes fell on the stunning sapphire and diamond bracelet that he had bought her, she suddenly knew…
She knew that fate had already decided for her and she's pretty sure that it's telling her that now is the time to be honest and there is no good a time as any to tell him how she really feels…
Now…
Even before she breaks his heart even more and betray him even further because just like the bracelet that he had just given her , she knows that she can never accept his love (not in the same way anyway) and that from the very beginning, Jesse had never been hers to really keep…
"It's beautiful…"
She whispered… Her chest contracting painfully and her stomach clenching into knots as tears burn the back of her eyes causing the glittering jewels in front of her to blur and waver in front of her gaze…
"I- I can't accept this Jess…"
She said softly… her voice barely audible amidst the noise in the busy restaurant as she swallowed against the lump in her throat while she watched Jesse's expression change from one of gladness to that of surprise and finally that of confusion…
"Why-Why not?"
He licked his lips nervously…
His throat suddenly feeling very dry…
But even before the words left his mouth, Jesse already knew that he need not even ask because he fucking well knows what her answer would be…
Somehow, he's known it all along…
Ever since Rachel told him that she's coming back to Lima to work with Finn…
He had sensed that this moment would come and he had been dreading it all this time and now that it's finally here it still hurts so damn much that he's finding it difficult to even breathe…
"So that's the way it is…"
He said slowly…
With finality…
She doesn't even have to put it into words for him to understand what she really means…
"Hudson has won…"
He ran his palms through his face before finishing off with a humorless laugh and Rachel took his hands in hers and looked at him with those big, brown, sad, pleading eyes…
"Jesse- Jess… listen to me… You'd always be my friend and I love you - Whether or not Finn and I get back together, you have to know that it wouldn't matter because we don't even stand a chance of being anything else aside from friends… You deserve so much more than a girlfriend who is with you but who can't seem to control her feelings for another man… Don't you understand?"
He threw her hands away… his hands trembling as he filled his glass with wine almost to the brim before drinking it back and fixing his gaze on hers…
"Fuck Rachel… Stop feeding me this shit… I love you too much to even consider giving you up … Not like this… Not with him…"
He took another drink before whispering softly under his breath…
"I swear ever since High School I've hated that fucking bastard…"
And even before Rachel can respond to that or even think of what to say, she lifted her head to see Finn arrive and push the restaurants doorway…
He was smiling at her as he made his way towards their table…
Completely unaware of the situation that he is getting himself into and of the malevolent stare that Jesse is throwing his way as he was consumed by the sight of Rachel and of how awesome she looked today…
"Happy Birthday Rach… You look smashing…"
He said with his signature goofy grin as he took a seat beside her but not before nodding politely at Jesse…
DAMMIT… Finn and her really belong together…
Rachel thought as she watched him…
Their sense of timing both suck donkey balls and she wished she could tell Finn what's up except that she can't, not when Jesse is just right in front of them…
"Doesn't she, Hudson? I bet every guy HERE wants to jump her…"
Jesses voice was dripping with sarcasm… His meaning not lost on Rachel as she half expected him to just stand up and grab Finn by the throat but he just took another drink and Rachel relaxes a little but not for very long…
"Well, Hudson… It's Rachel's birthday today and I bought her that VERY EXPENSIVE bracelet… Where's your gift?"
Rachel's breath hitched in her throat as she saw Finn's jaw harden a little as Jesse made a grand dramatic motion of pointing towards the bracelet that was now lying almost forgotten on top of their table…
"I didn't bring it here…"
He said firmly and Jesse laughed rudely…
"You mean you forgot, didn't you? You were always an ass when it comes to Rachel…"
He mumbled the last few words before waving at the passing waiter to order another bottle of wine and Rachel gripped Finn's thighs underneath the table in an effort to pacify him as she saw a muscle ticking at the side of his jaw…
"I mean I didn't bring it here…"
Finn's voice was steely…
His gaze was fixed on Jesse and Jesse meeting it head on as Rachel looked from one to the other anxiously while both guys mentally challenge each other in a silly game of stare down…
"C'mon guys! It's-It's my birthday so I'd want a toast…Why- Why don't we just talk about gifts later, hmmm?"
She sounded unusually loud even to her own ears…
Her voice cutting across the tension filled atmosphere as both men seem to have forgotten all about her as they continue to measure each other up…
Thankfully, Finn breaks the uneasiness of the situation… His eyes seeking out Rachel's as he lifts the icy bottle of champagne that is being chilled at the side of their table…
"Happy Twenty Fifth Birthday Rach… I'm sorry I missed the last eight years of them -"
And he smiled bashfully as he handed Rachel a glass…
A smile that was immediately replaced by surprise as Jesse's hand snaked between them to grab the glass that he just handed Rachel away from her grasp…
"Rachel gets sick on champagne…"
Jesse said confidently… A cocky expression pasted on his face as he addressed Finn but a wide smile spreading across it the moment that he fixed his gaze at her….
"Remember the time you got sick after that cast party that we had for West Side story?"
He whispered near her ear softly but not soft enough that Finn wouldn't hear…
He wagged his eyebrows up and down at Rachel as if they were sharing a private little secret and Rachel looked at him with a confused expression on her face…
"Not-Not sick exactly… just a little dizzy…"
She'd love to know what Jesse's playing at…
She's puzzled by the intimate tone that his voice had taken and by the sudden change in his behavior given how he had behaved so petulantly right before Finn had arrived…
"You were definitely dizzy… And a little giddy. You made me stand out on the balcony with you in the freezing cold. Remember, I gave you my coat to wear? And then Idina and Taye followed and we were the first to know that they just got engaged?"
He smiled at her warmly before glancing at Finn and talking to him in a coldly superior voice…
"Have you met Idina and Taye?"
Finn looked at him with a stone cold expression knowing exactly what Jesse is up to and awfully getting pissed at how he's making him feel that no one is as perfect for Rachel other than HIM…
Jesse laughed arrogantly…
"Of course you wouldn't! Idina and Taye are part of our Broadway circle of friends and I bet you haven't even been to Broadway…"
Rachel glanced worriedly at Finn and saw how he was gripping his table napkin so tightly that his knuckles had turned white…
Nervously, she hastily brought up a new subject which involved Finn as Jesse had four more glasses of champagne and contributed two more stories about people whom Rachel and him know from New York and whom obviously Finn wouldn't…
By the time the waiter brought the third round of drinks—and the fourth for Jesse— Rachel was well aware that he was drinking too much, too fast. That in itself wouldn't have been quite so alarming if he wasn't also determined to infuse the conversation with a steady stream of little anecdotes about things he and Rachel had done, most of them beginning with "Remember when..." and it was tough because she didn't always remember, and she was, moreover, becoming increasingly aware that Finn was getting extremely, extremely ticked off…
In fact, Finn wasn't just annoyed, he was already coldly furious. For three quarters of an hour he'd been forced to listen to St. Dickwad relating cute tales about himself and Rachel designed to point out to Finn that he was, and will always be, just a part of Rachel's life that happened mostly in the past…
Included among his stories were the time that Rachel won the Tony's for the first time and how HE was the one who comforted her as she cried uncontrollably out of joy backstage and another about how he's taken her to see Barbara Streisand in concert for the first time and how she hugged him so tight out of sheer joy that he almost couldn't breathe…
By the time he started talking about a charity auction that they have both worked on together, Rachel was also on her third glass of wine …
She needs to get drunk…
Her heart is pounding so heavily against her chest with both men squaring off in front of her that she swears if she doesn't tune out even for awhile she will just scream and tear her hair out like some crazy bitch…
"Tell me Finn… where did you go to college? I seem to have forgotten…"
And Rachel rolled her eyes as she took another swig from her wineglass…
"Ohio State…."
Finn replied in between clenched teeth…
"Oh, you mean here? In Ohio?"
He grimaced as if it was a bad thing…
"I went to UCLA… The University of California in Los Angeles? That's in Los Angeles if you're wondering…"
Jesse said with a smirk…
"So, what?"
Finn replied and Jesse seemed almost taken aback for awhile before he gave a casual shrug…
"Did Rachel tell you that we starred as leads in two Broadway plays together? We were scouted…. You had to line up and audition for this role didn't you?"
"Yes…"
He clipped… shaking his legs restlessly as he tried his best to control himself if only for Rachel's sake…
"Don't you know that Rachel is now Broadway royalty? I think we're the same in that way…"
He threw a victorious glance at Finn…
"And during high school, when you broke up and she chose me, Rachel almost gave up her virginity for me…"
And Finn threw his napkin down violently before shouting at the top of his lungs…
"Oh yeah? She REALLY GAVE IT UP TO ME! In fact, she fucking begged me to take it…"
Finn snapped back… baited beyond endurance as Jesse hissed and drew back his arm, throwing a punch at him while Rachel gasped in shock before shooting to her feet…
Finn barely saw it coming in time to avoid Jesse's attack…
Reacting instinctively, he threw up his left arm and swung hard towards him with his right...
Pandemonium erupted…
Women screamed…
Men jumped out of their chairs and Jesse crashed to the floor while white lights from cameras exploded in the background…
Rachel shouted from nearby for them to stop and Finn looked towards her at the exact moment that a fist connected with his eye while Rachel bent down in an attempt to help him off the floor….
Finn instinctively drew back his fist to return the blow but checked the motion when Rachel put her hands on his arms but not before his elbow connected with something hard behind him and he heard Rachel cry out…
"AWWWW… GODDAMIT!"
Suddenly, Finn was hurtling forward, plowing through the fleeing diners as he grabbed on unto Jesse's wrist to stop him from punching him again while bystanders appeared out of nowhere, crowding in for more shots...
"Shit!"
Finn muttered under his breath when he saw Rachel holding on to her eye crouched in a corner as avid kibitzers armed with their cellphones and cameras crowd in on her…
Finn was beside her in a flash…Throwing his jacket over her head and using his body as a shield to hide her from view of the cameras as he hugged her tightly against his chest…
"RACH! Let's get out of here…"
He yelled…
And suddenly Rachel felt herself being half lifted off her feet and shoved through the thick, excited crowd as they make their way towards the kitchen's swinging doors…
Jerking the door of Finn's truck open, Rachel shoved herself upward as she tried to crawl into the passenger seat just as the trucks engine roared to life.
The vehicle blasted out of the parking lot, tires screaming, careening around the corner…
And it was only then that Rachel realized that they have left Jesse in the restaurant and that he was nowhere to be found…
"CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! My publicist will kill me…"
And Rachel closed her eyes and the car remained silent all throughout their drive…
"Are you okay? Are you fine?"
Finn broke the quiet gingerly as he parked his truck in front of her house…
She saw a faint blush creep across his cheek as he watched her touch the tender area around her eye, perhaps out of guilt as he very well knows that the bruise already forming there was caused by none other than him…
"I have your coat and— "
Rachel didn't hear the rest of what he said…
Very slowly… very deliberately and with infinite satisfaction, she got out of the car and closed the door on him…
"RACH!"
Finn shouted as he rolled the window down… His face contorted in a look of confusion as he watched Rachel turn around…
"What's wrong babe? He- he goaded me and he- he started it and -"
"I begged you? To take it? My virginity? Really, Finn?"
She drawled sarcastically and crossed her arms across her chest and she watched a blush creep from Finn's neck up to his cheeks as he bowed down his head in embarrassment…
"I—I just said that in the heat of the moment… I didn't mean it Rach… it was just that he was pushing me and I have to -"
Rachel leaned down against the open window and pressed her index finger against his chest…
"You, mister… should reflect on your actions and write me an apology letter because tonight you are in the doghouse…"
She almost burst out laughing as she thought how she was being unfair because truth be told, Finn was not really far off the mark and she can still clearly remember the way she chanted the word PLEASE like a broken record when they first did the deed… …
"BUT RACHHHHHHHHH! Baby! It's your birthday! And what about - what about-"
He wailed like a five year old before looking around him to check if anyone was listening then he whispered to her clandestinely…
"What -What about birthday sex?"
And she had to bite her cheek to REALLY stop laughing at that…
At how cute he looked with that disappointed look on his face…
And though she'd like to make him suffer just a teeny, tiny, weeny bit further she knows she had to give him some leeway when she saw the downcast expression on his face…
"There's always next year anyway… And Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and -"
She whispered in his ear until she has completed all the days of the week…
She then gave him a seductive wink and a peck on his cheek and then she walked away …
It was not long before she heard his voice ringing out from across the almost empty driveway…
"RACHEL BARBARA BERRY! HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU'RE A STAR, YOU'RE MINE AND I LOVE YOU!"
And she let out a wide grin as she remained with her back turned on him… her hands lifting up in a wave as she acknowledged what he said and she swears she could almost see him smiling so widely like the cat who got the cream (despite the lack of birthday sex) as he put his truck in gear and drove away…
And the moment he's gone, that was the only time that she remembered how the entire night has basically been a series of disasters …
The only time that she took a peek in the mirror and saw how her hair was standing straight out on one side and the other looking like it had been arranged by an electric mixer…
The only time that she noticed how her jackets sleeve is ripped at one side and how it is now hanging drunkenly off her shoulder…
And that's when she really laughed…
Laughed as if she'd never stop…
Because despite all that, she's never had a night which could have been anymore perfect…
Because they are now free and she is his star and she's his and he loves her…
HE REALLY, REALLY LOVES HER…
Gosh…
This is just her awesomest, awesomest birthday ever…
AUTHORS NOTE:
Ever had one of those days when everything sucked and yet the moment you see that person who is most special in your life everything somehow just feels so right?
I've had... and thus, this chapter... :)
I hope you liked it... Leave a review pretty please? As that would make my already awesome day more awesome (if that's even possible!) Love to hear your thoughts!