CHASING CARS - SNOW PATROL
We'll do it all Everything On our own
We don't need Anything Or anyone
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know How to say How I feel
Those three words Are said too much They're not enough
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads
I need your grace To remind me To find my own
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where Confused about how as well Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chapter Twelve
Chasing Cars
She knew it would get out sooner or later…
She just didn't expect that it will be this big or this scandalous that her agent would give her a call and yell at her at 6 o clock in the morning…
They should have been more careful…
She should have known better…
Letting out a sigh and wrapping a towel around her naked body, Rachel steps out of the shower and grimaced as she caught a glimpse of the headline of the newspaper lying in a crumpled heap on her bedroom floor where she threw it in disgust this morning…
On the front page was a picture of her smiling broadly for the cameras in a press conference where she said that Finn is the perfect gentleman when asked to describe him and yet another about eight months ago when she said the exact same thing when asked about Jesse…
As if making a mockery of her words, a photograph of the three of them taken just last night was featured right below it… (Finn was throwing a punch, Jesse was grabbing on to his collar and Rachel was yelling) …
It was topped by a screaming headline that read GENTLEMEN NO MORE in big, black, bold letters and if she only knew during those interviews how her words would come back to haunt her and bite her in the ass, she would have chosen instead to take the high road rather than incriminate herself by opening her mouth during those moments…
Kicking the newspaper aside and shaking her head in frustration, Rachel absentmindedly turns on the TV in the hopes that Jay Leno can somehow make her forget the mess she's in or that the white noise can drown out her thoughts as she prepared for her day and what's yet to come for that morning…
"So what about that brawl between Rachel Berry, Jesse St. James and Finn Hudson huh? Since when was Fight Club on Broadway? Dueling for a lady's affection is long dead gentlemen… This is not the 1800's!"
GODDAMIT!
So much for that thought…
Turning off the TV violently and letting out a muffled curse at the sound of her doorbell ringing insistently from downstairs, Rachel puts on shorts and a tank top before marching to her front door and flinging it wide open…
(She swears she is not a violent person but if it happens to be the press out there, she can't trust herself not to cut someone with razors given the way that things are going…)
"WHAT?"
She growled...
Her breath hitching in her throat and her words dying on her mouth as she caught sight of Finn leaning gorgeously against her doorway …
He was scruffy and looking like he just got out of bed with his white shirt and jeans and aviator sunglasses…
He looks rough and mysterious and sexy and suddenly all Rachel can think about was how they should have had sex last night instead so that she could have woken up next to THIS rather than the disaster that is messing with her head and threatening to ruin her day even if it was still way too early…
As if reading exactly what's on her mind, Finn grinned at her seductively and Rachel felt herself melting… The events of last night forgotten as a blush makes its way across the base of her neck up unto her cheeks as Finn sweeps a lingering gaze from the tips of her bare toes up to the crown of her hair which was still a little bit damp coming from her shower…
"Morning…"
He whispered seductively… His lips landing on hers for a slow, burning kiss which left her thoughts just a little bit muddled before he swept inside her house and then plopped on her couch like nothing was the matter…
"I'm starved babe… you have any breakfast?'
He smiled at her devilishly…
Shaking her head as if to get a hold of her senses… Rachel glared at Finn with annoyance as she took in the sight of him looking so relaxed and unfazed like they are not in one hot, big mess as he lounged around in her living room couch…
"Is it? A good morning?"
She crossed her arms across her chest and she swears she caught him sitting straight up not because he wants to listen but to get a better view of her boobs given the way that his stare unconsciously drifted down towards that direction without even thinking…
"I'm up here Finn!"
She nagged at him…
Finn snapped his gaze to look at her face and his brows knit in concern as he took in the sight of her stoic face and at how she seems to be shooting laser beams at him with her eyes while tapping her foot impatiently against her floors carpet…
"Rach… what's wrong? Is this still about last night?"
He groaned...
"I swear I'd make you that fucking letter…"
And he threw his head back against her couch as if THAT should be their biggest problem…
"Wrong? Oh No Finn… Whatever gave you the idea that there is something wrong? Just because my face had been splashed all over the newspapers and reporters are painting me as a two time hoochie who dates BOTH of my boyfriends while getting into barroom brawls and fistfights doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with me… Why would there be something WRONG when everything is just great and fine and dandy!"
She emphasized the last word while giving a short pump of her fists and Finn smiles in remembrance of how her drama queen antics used to drive him crazy…
(Not anymore obviously, as now he just finds everything she does cute and adorable and endearing even when she is just like now, somewhat over reacting…)
"Finn Hudson… don't you dare smile and think that just because I let you in that I have already forgiven you… This is all your fault… every time I come near you, bad things start happening to me…"
She narrowed her eyes at him while muttering under her breath and Finn once again tried to hide his smile but he was just so happy being around her that he can't stop himself from grinning…
"Bad things? Like what?"
He asked flirtatiously…
"As if you had to ask…"
Rachel scoffed and threw her hands up in the air before starting to pace around the living room floor dramatically…
"Well, there was the whole Christmas debacle when you left me by myself in that tree lot… and then there was the torture that Quinn put me through for most of my high school life just because she thinks that I seduced you and forced you to break up with her against your will…"
She murmured under her breath as she recalled events in the past which made Finn just a little bit fraught with guilt as he acknowledged that yes, because of him, life had not exactly been very easy for one Rachel Barbara Berry…
And yet she's still here…
Opening her heart up to him once again…
Putting her trust in him and believing in him despite the way he's let her down time and time again and he's never felt luckier than ever that after all these time, he still has her…
"And now… Now, before we saw each other again, everybody admired me for my talent and my grace and my wit and now I'm featured in newspapers as if I'm a heroine of a big soap opera that's unfolding right before the people's very eyes… I used to go to awards nights and fundraisers and charity auctions and now I get involved in fistfights in small town restaurants not to mention… THIS!"
She pointed to her eyes to reveal her bruised eyes to Finn which was not so noticeable if only she didn't bring his attention to it…
Looking at her with a concerned expression and standing up to walk over to Rachel, Finn cupped her face in his hands before running his thumb over the faint blue smudge that can be seen above her right cheek tenderly…
"I'm sorry I hit you babe… You know I didn't mean to… DAMMIT… I hate that I'm so tall and you're so small and that I'm so clumsy and idiotic that I didn't even see you…what are you using to hide it?"
"C-Concealer… W-why?"
Rachel looked at him with a confused expression as Finn gives out a soft chuckle… He then takes off his sunglasses to reveal an identical bruise that is situated just right under his left eye and Rachel gasped in surprise at how he's sporting a way bigger shiner…
"Because I'd like to borrow some to hide… THIS!"
Rachel stared at him for awhile… Her brows knitted with worry as she looked at his disfigured face and then as if suddenly realizing how funny their situation is, she started to giggle…
A giggle that erupted into a full on laugh as Finn laughed along with her pulling her close to him in a hug while Rachel burrowed her face into his chest and the two of them just laughed even harder….
"Jesse sure does pack a punch…"
She said once their laughter had died down… Pulling a little away from him and leaning back against his arms to touch his eyes, letting her fingers drift softly against the tenderness on his face as if by doing that she can make his pain go away…
"I'm sure I did better … He would have-"
"I love you…"
She whispered unexpectedly from out of the blue…
From out of nowhere…
And he stopped mid sentence, temporarily at a loss for words… A disbelieving expression on his face as he finally heard from her what he has long been wanting to hear and yet he was afraid to even breathe in fear that the moment he does, he'd find out that she'd take it back again…
"What? You heard me Finn Hudson… I love you… Do you know how long I've been wanting to say that? "
She said with an almost embarrassed smile on her face…
And he shook his head slowly as if he was still in a daze…
"Ever since the day we saw each other again… "
She lifted emotion filled eyes to him and he swears he can see the love she feels for him shining through her eyes …
"This is the greatest gamble of my life and you've hurt me enough that I'm scared as hell but I love you so much that I believe you'd do everything in your power to make sure that you'd never hurt me in any way or any form ever again…"
"Rach…"
He said breathlessly…
"Promise me Finn…"
And he kissed her instead because he does not trust himself to say a word because if he does, he knows that he would just fucking cry…
He would fucking bawl in front of her and behave like some kind of pussy because he loves her so much that he feels that if he has to live his life without her again he would just shrivel up and die…
He closed his eyes and rests her forehead against hers…
Their chest heaving not just with the kiss that they just shared but perhaps because of the emotions that they have long repressed and which were threatening to consume both their souls right at this very moment…
"After - After the movie is finished… Will you- Will you move in with me?"
He doesn't even know where that came from…
Perhaps it had been at the back of his mind ever since he saw her again or maybe ever since she left when he realized that he would do everything in his power to make sure that he can have her back in his life again…
"B-but… I'm in New York and you live here… you are just starting with your career and—"
There was a note of hesitation in her voice…
A beat of a pause as if she was convincing herself that what he's telling her was too good to be real…
"I'd move there… I'd stay with you…"
He replied without missing a beat…
"Y-you said you want children… what If I can't have any?"
"Then we'll adopt… "
"What if I don't want any?"
"Then we'll not adopt…"
"What if I say I want you to stop working?"
"Then I would…"
And she looked up at him with eyes that seem afraid to trust…
She was pinning all her hopes and dreams on him all over again and everything was just too fast and intense and too real…
Her mind was screaming at her to get away and not to listen as he weaved this story of a future for both of them that was everything she ever wished for because if she ended up all over with her heart broken she might never have the strength to walk away from him again or to leave him...
Ever.
"You just don't know what I'm willing to do for you… "
He murmured… Tucking a stray piece of hair against her ears, his smile tender…
"I told you I'd give you anything…"
He chuckled ruefully…
An embarrassed look on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly while smiling at her…
"Fuck… this is not the way I wanted to propose Rachel… I don't even have the ring that I was supposed to give you yesterday for your birthday…"
PROPOSE?
RING?
She wanted to take things slowly…
To take it one step at a time and to have confidence that this time she has control over this newly rediscovered relationship with Finn but the truth of the matter is with him, she never had any…
There were only feelings and emotions and blessed, wonderful insanity…
She had spent so long chasing after him… day after day, night after night…
Trying to prove herself, better herself, make him see the love he had for her inside.
It had been hell, having him leave her over and over… running… always running…
Towards Quinn, towards Santana, and then back to Quinn all over …
But now she gives up trying to remember.
Whatever happened in the past, it wasn't that important... What was important was that Finn had never given up on her…he had followed her, despite all of the obstacles that were laid in their path….All because he loved her and knew that eventually they would end up here like this…
Together…
"Are you - are you asking me to get married?"
He nodded slowly… Swallowing the lump against his throat as he stared at her looking up at him with tear filled eyes…
"Hell Rach… I'm sorry for the most unromantic proposal ever… You deserve candlelight and flowers and me kneeling down on one knee and not when we're all over the tabloids and I'm here at your house asking you for breakfast…"
He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation…
"Shit… I'm such an idiot… I was not supposed to tell you like this…like right now but I just love you so much and you told me you love me too that it just slipped out and-"
She shook her head vigorously as she choked back on a sob…
"It's perfect…"
She whispered…
"I wouldn't have it any other way…"
And she's never loved him now more than ever…
Even if the entire world came crashing down around them…
She knows Finn is the one for her…
He always had been…
He always will be…
And just like that they were all over each other… his hands roaming all over her body as he unbuttoned her shorts… both of them frantic with need… hungry for each other as if the moment they stop kissing, everything would turn out to be a dream…
Their lovemaking was wild, feral almost… Finn lifting Rachel up against the wall as she wrapped her legs around him… His face buried into her neck as he joined his body with hers as her fingers dig into his back and he slammed her against the wall and Rachel lets out a gasp..
"I love you Finn…"
And as he entered her again, she lets out a low moan…
"I have never stopped…"
She felt herself floating…
Floating unhindered on the sea of warmth that was flowing from his body into hers, losing herself in his arms…
Her thoughts were disjointed, disconnected from her body, barely thoughts but just sensations…
Emotions…
As waves of passion flowed through her body, memories surfaced… images from their past and feelings that they've shared...
Picnics in an auditorium…
Pink bowling balls…
Stolen kisses in the stairway…
Waiting for their turn in the wings of a darkened stage…
I love you…
She had said it to him over and over …countless times… even when she had hated him, or he'd been deaf to her pleas and he needlessly kept them apart…
But everything pales to the love she feels for him right now…
And she doesn't know if it's right but they've gone through so much heartache that she feels that they have nowhere to go but up…
That was her last thought as the frenzy ended…
As she laid spent, asleep in his arms, she prayed that everything will be alright…
A prayer that seemed to have remained unanswered because as Finn's phone rang and he looked at her with worry before putting the phone close against his ear, she wished she knew that at that time, at that very moment something has happened that would cause her world to shatter and to once again fall apart…
AUTHORS NOTE:
I have somewhat started on this installment to be mostly fluff and as a filler chapter but somehow it seemed to write itself towards the ending that's why i feel it's a little disjointed...
However, i hope you still enjoyed it as much since it will be pivotal in setting up future scenes going towards this story's ending...
Comments are appreciated...
Apologies also if there was a slight delay in posting as i am currently addicted to writing FinChel and Puckleberry oneshots and i have tons of ideas for it so my head is kinda buzzing... :)
(In fact, i have already posted some which is also in this thread so do check it out if you have the time... I will be posting more in days to come...)
I have also started on an initial draft of another FinChel futurefic to replace this one when it ends, where they ended up married and divorced and yet they still love each other very much...
I'm quite excited about the premise as it's a relationship wherein they're not lovers but they can't also be called friends and yet they hang out all the time and they figure very largely in each others lives and that's how they rediscover and get to admit that they have never stopped loving each other...
I hope i can share it with you guys soon and i'd love to hear your thoughts about it like if you would read something from me with a premise like that? Hope to read your comments!