AUTHORS NOTE:
This installment is supposed to be two chapters but since I have not released anything for quite a time and i received numerous requests to not make the FinChel separation drag on, i have decided to release both in one go...
As you can tell, we have reached the end for THE LAST GOODBYE but i might still be coming up with an epilogue chapter to round off the chapters to 15... It had been quite a ride and I'm just glad that all you guys decided to stick with this story...
I hope you'd watch out for my next FinChel AU fanfic which i'd release once i'm done with the epilogue of TLG... Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart...
Just a note on this chapter... I hope you guys can play the song when the italicized lyrics appear so that the emotions i'm trying to convey in that part be heightened as you read through it with the help of the music... You can just search for WHEN YOU'RE GONE by AVRIL LAVIGNE on Youtube…
I know you'd enjoy reading this chapter more when you do...
Reviews are encouraged so do leave a note on how you liked the ending!
Chapter Fourteen
When You're Gone
She had always wondered if one dies of a broken heart…
She's thought about it too many times over in the past when Finn left her but this was the only time that she is truly convinced that maybe heartbreak will REALLY be the end of her…
Sitting in front of her dresser with a blank expression on her face, Rachel put on the finishing touches to her make up as she prepares to attend the wrap party for the film that she's been shooting with Finn …
She looked Beautiful…
Glamorous…
Serene…
A testament if ever there was one to how good of an actress she really is because her outward appearance totally belies the anguish that is now going on inside her heart…
Putting down her blush brush with a heavy hand, Rachel stared at herself in the mirror as Finn's voice spoke inside her head…
Are we a part of something special you and me?
Rachel covered her face with her hands in frustration as she remembered the other things that Finn had told her and which she built her hopes upon …
Beautiful words that he had spoken to her with such tender sincerity that she was foolish enough to believe that maybe, they can really start all over…
I'd give you anything you want— EVERYTHING you want….I come with it, of course. It's a package deal…You can continue your singing and acting career but we'd be a family…You'll win your Tony's and we'll have children ... I'd like six…But I'd settle for one…
Remembering those words now feel as if her heart was being ripped apart…
She wondered how Finn was doing now and if he was waiting… Hoping she would call and take her words back or if he is also having sleepless nights just thinking about how they parted ways when they last met…
But she's sure that she already had the answer to that question when he turned his back on her on his very own driveway…
Now, for the very first time after that fateful day the finality of his words finally hit her…
And she realized he wouldn't be waiting for her to call…
Not now…
Not ever…
Rachel felt the wetness on her cheek even before she realized that she was crying…
The pain is worst now than when they separated eight years ago because now, she believed that they were more matured and more in love and had a better fighting chance at starting all over…
To pick up where they left off and finally forget everything that has ever happened to them in the past…
But in the end, they have still ended up the same way they started…
Scared…
Battered…
Broken
And worst of all, apart…
Rachel knew that she was being a coward for not trusting Finn…
She should have realized it that night but she understood it better now…
However, she thinks that even if she did, there will always be a part of her that would always continue to doubt.
The evidence was against him…
He sneaked out of her bed in the middle of the night and she saw Quinn in his bed with her very own eyes…
Rachel wiped her tears away as she pasted a shaky smile on her face… Bracing her self as she looked at her reflection in the mirror and putting on a face that she normally reserves for times when she's down in the dumps and still needs to look every inch the movie star as she keep appearances like everything was alright…
"It's okay Rachel, you forgot him eight years ago and you can do it again now… Yes, you can…"
She pasted on a wobbly smile but her tears just wouldn't stop…
"Fuck Rachel… you can do this…"
She saw her reflection waver in front of her as tears continued pouring from her eyes…
She went through the motion of putting on her lipstick but her lips were trembling too much and before she knew it she was sobbing loudly…
"You can do it Rachel… GODDAMIT…"
And she saw her face crumple in the mirror before she finally gave up and cried her heart out…
She must have cried for thirty minutes before Rachel composed herself enough to wash her face and start her make up all over…
She slipped into the dress that she's going to be wearing that night and put on the high heeled shoes that she had picked out especially for tonight…
She's through crying, she promised herself…
A couple of nights ago she dreamt of standing beside Finn as they greeted the press, standing in front of the cameras holding hands and declaring to the whole world how they are engaged and that they have always been the love of each others lives…
But no more…
She wouldn't allow herself to think about him, or to remember him, or to feel anything…
She'd put him out of her mind and heart…
Permanently this time and that's where she hoped that he would stay forever…
Rachel's reverie was cut short by the incessant ringing of her doorbell…
Her forehead furrowed into an uneasy frown as she was not expecting her driver until an hour later…
Opening the door curiously, Rachel lets out a gasp of shock as she saw Quinn Fabray out on her doorstep…
It had been years since they last saw each other (not counting of course, the time she saw her in Finn's bed just a couple of days back)…
She looked older and wiser and there was a sadness in her eyes that wasn't there before as she smiled up at her shyly…
"Hello Rachel… It's been quite awhile…"
Quinn gave her an awkward smile before chewing on her bottom lip as if she was unsure of what she is supposed to do or say next now that she's in front of her…
"Is-Is now a good time? It seems like you're on your way out… Can we talk?"
Rachel stood there for awhile robbed of speech as Quinn fidgeted and played with the hem of her jacket …
Once she's come back to her senses, Rachel looked at her lifelong rival…
There was an uncertainty in her eyes as she opened her front door wider and welcomed the blonde into her home and she felt her heart beat faster as she let her in not out of fear but just because being around her reminds her too much of the past…
"I have time… Come-Come in…"
Quinn gave a little smile as she walked in and she stood uneasily in the middle of Rachel's living room before she broke the silence after a couple of seconds…
"I - I see you a lot on TV… I told you you'd make it big someday…"
Quinn said in a voice that told Rachel that she's trying her best to appear light and casual but she expelled a really long sigh right after and closed her eyes as if she's reached the end of her limit and is now done pretending …
"Dammit… this is hard… Heaven knows that I would have given my right arm to just go through my life believing that you don't exist but I - I love Finn…"
Rachel's eyes widened… Her temper flaring and her tongue itching to tell Quinn off about her first words to her after all these years but what she said next left her speechless…
"I love Finn, Rachel… No matter what you think, I really do… And I want him to be happy that's why I'm doing this and I just want to let you know that he has always loved you…"
Rachel blinked her eyes a couple of times at that…
She didn't expect Quinn to be telling her all these and she watched as Quinn gave her a wry smile…
"I've always known it… Even in high school… I don't even understand why he let you go and went back to me…"
Quinn gave a hollow, humorless laugh…
"Maybe it was need… maybe it's because by taking care of me he feels strong and he forgets that he gave you up for something so shallow but the truth is, he doesn't love me… Not the way that he loves you anyway… and I think it's time that I accept that and let him be really, really happy…"
Rachel remained staring at her…
She didn't expect this to happen and there was a part of herself that was relieved but also a part that was regretful at how foolish Finn and her have both been…
Eight years…
They've wasted too much time apart hurting each other when all these time they could have been together loving each other…
How fucking ironic…
How fucking cruel…
Quinn's confident façade seem to waver at Rachel's stoic silence…
Mistaking her quietness for one of anger rather than that of pensiveness…
"Please Rachel…That night you saw me, I ran away from home because my husband was abusive and he hit me and I had nowhere to run to that's why I called Finn… I told him to keep it a secret that's why he didn't tell you so please don't hate him for helping me… I have hated you all my life and I have done too much to hurt Finn but now I have a chance to show him how much he means to me by telling you the truth and I just wanted to take this chance…"
Suddenly, at that moment Rachel felt like they were back in sophomore year…
When Quinn was the popular girl whom she envies for having everything that she's ever wanted that it didn't even occur to her that she had something too which she's wanted all her life making her envy her in the same way…
But that was water under the bridge…
They were older now…
And wiser…
And Rachel gave her a grateful smile as tears fell unbidden from her eyes…
"You can continue to hate me Rachel… But please… Please don't hate Finn…"
Quinn said and Rachel choked back a sob at that…
"I - I can't hate him Quinn… I love him too much to hate him… Even when I felt like hating him, I still love him… I think I always will..."
Rachel whispered back in a soft voice before her head fell forward and her shoulders began to shake with more sobs…
"Oh my God… I sent him away… I should have trusted him and believed him but I sent him away…"
Quinn stared at the weeping girl who is her rival for the only boy that she's ever loved her entire life and she watched as her shoulders were wracked with sobs as she cried out her pain and anger and sorrow at the mess that she once again found herself in…
Against her will, Quinn felt herself reaching out to touch her letting out a violent oath as she patted her back and run her hands over her back in order to extend comfort…
"It's not too late Rachel… I think he is waiting for you… He had never stopped waiting…"
And Rachel lifted tear filled eyes to her before wiping her tears with her arms like a little girl and looking at her as if she was seeking for reassurance…
"You think so? "
Quinn gave a little nod and as if that was the only sign that she's been waiting for and that she needed, Rachel gets a determined glint in her eyes and a steely resolve on her face…
"I'm going to take him back Quinn… Even if I have to eat my pride, I'd take him back… and this time… this time… there is no turning back…
Quinn smiled down at her even if there was a hint of sadness in her eyes that didn't escape Rachel's notice that and felt like crying all over again, but this time for the blonde before her…
"Don't think that I'm doing this for you Berry… I still dislike you immensely but I have made Finn unhappy enough and he deserves to be happy and I know that he will only be if he is with you…"
The tender smile that the blonde was according her totally took the edge off her words and Rachel knew that she wanted to leave with her pride intact and she can't help but return her smile back praying that in time they will forget the pain that they have inflicted on each other and that perhaps there could be a chance that they can be really good friends someday…
"For what it's worth … Thank you, Quinn…"
And she took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Quinn feeling her stiffen only for a moment before she put her arms around her back and return her hug in the same way…
"Make Finn happy, Rachel…"
She whispered in a voice thick with tears…
"I will…"
Rachel whispered back…
And as Quinn dried her tears and gave her another brave smile before walking out Rachel's front door there was only a moment when she felt a sense of loss and sadness because she knew that one day, when the right man and time comes, the same kind of happiness that Finn and Rachel has at this moment will also be in her hands…
Rachel walked into the lobby of the hotel where their wrap party was being held and she wasn't certain if it was wise or crazy to try to confront Finn in the middle of it particularly when she spent the last couple of days being a diva and requesting that their last scenes together be shot separately…
Rachel bit her lip nervously as she thought that Finn could give her the cold shoulder tonight with everyone watching and she was sure that she completely deserved it…
In desperate hopes of appeasing her anger, she had spent a couple of minutes more preening before her mirror after Quinn had left to ensure that she looked her absolute best in order to lower his resistance..
She hoped that the effort she took in dressing up will give her the result that she wanted and that he would listen to whatever it is that she wanted to tell him…
With her knees trembling and her pulse pounding, she took the elevator going towards the ballroom, and there she encountered an obstacle in the last place she'd anticipated it…
Kurt was standing by the ballroom doors, took one look at her, and stepped forward, blocking her way.
"I thought you wouldn't come Rachel…"
He said coldly…
Formally…
Very unlike the Kurt who is her good friend and who have gone to all the trouble to fly back to Lima from LA just to throw a party for her so that he can match make her with his stepbrother…
"You've hurt him Rachel… You don't know how much he went through just to make up for his mistakes and to show you that he's changed…"
Rachel's heart ached to see her friend treating her like a stranger but she is also humbled by the extent of how much Kurt loves his brother that he is protecting him from pain the best way he knows how…
"I know... and that's why i am here to make amends..."
Kurt chewed on his bottom lip looking at her…
Torn between his loyalty to Finn and the pleading sincerity in Rachel's innocent hazel eyes while the roar of laughter and conversation from inside the ballroom surrounded them…
"Do you really love him, Rachel? I mean like really, really love him?"
"With all my heart… "
She said emphatically….
"Do you promise to trust him for now and for always?"
Rachel started to smile as she saw Kurt's defenses slowly weakening against her…
"I will never doubt him again… EVER…"
And with that Kurt gave a dramatic sigh before throwing his hand up in the air…
"Darn it! I'm such a sucker for romance…"
And he looked so displeased that Rachel lets out a loud laugh, knowing that at least she now has Kurt back on her side…
"Thank you… "
She threw her arms around her friend's neck before turning from side to side and batting her eyelashes…
"How do I look?"
She asked teasingly as Kurt looked on at her with a happy smile…
"Beautiful… I know you'd look just the same on your wedding day…"
He said teasingly before whispering softly…
"Go get him…"
He then raised his glass up to her and on that high note, Rachel stepped into the noisy gaiety of the ballroom….
The moment she stepped on top of the steps leading towards the ballroom, heads started to turn and conversations dropped off, then started again with renewed force, and she heard her name being repeated.
Ignoring all of that, she scanned the crowded dance floor, the stage, and then the bar at the far corner of the room… she saw no trace of Finn and in her heart she was thinking what if he already left? What if he just passed by and now, she lost the chance to see him…
Panicked and alarmed, Rachel reverted to a technique that she had relied on whenever she needed to express herself when Finn and her were still in Glee Club…
Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth to sing a song about how she feels for him making sure that her notes were heard above the din of the noisy crowd…
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
Need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lied is made up on your side…
Her heart began to hammer as she saw people stop with what they're doing…
Everyone turning around to face her in shocked curiosity…
Silence can be heard all over the room…
Taking some unspoken cue or perhaps out of courtesy, the crowd parted and there at the bottom of the stairs, staring up at her, standing a distance away from her was Finn…
When you walk away I count the steps that you take…
Do you see how much I need you right now?
At that instance, the crowd fell away from their consciousness as they stood just staring at each other drinking in each others sight…
There was such tenderness in Finn's gaze… His adams apple bobbing up and down as if he was trying his best not to cry at a song that he knew she meant for him that Rachel knew…
No matter how many times she might turn him away or he turns her away, they will always come back to each other because they were fated to be together…
To love each other as much as the other and to spend the rest of their lives with one another…
When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you…
When you're gone the face I came to know are missing too…
When you're gone the words I need to hear to get it through the day and make it okay…
I miss you…
Before she knew it, tears were falling from her eyes even if she looks at Finn with a smile as she sings…
She thought about the time that they have spent apart from each other and all the pain they went through just because they didn't trust each other enough…
I've never felt this way before…
Everything that I do, reminds me of you…
And the clothes you left they lie on the floor…
They smell just like you, I love the things that you do…
Finn stood at the bottom of the stairs… thinking how beautiful Rachel looked and how much he loved her… and how with her coming to find him, he feels such an overwhelming feeling of love for her as if he was lost and had now just come home…
When you walk away, I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When Finn remained unmoving… Rachel's voice trails off…
An unsure expression now on her face as her chest heaved with emotions as they just stood in the middle of a hushed crowd staring at each other before Finn opens his mouth and sings the part where she left off…
When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you…
When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too…
When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay…
I miss you…
She half laughed and half cried as she watched him walk slowly towards her…
His voice ringing in the huge ballroom as tears poured from her eyes at the realization that after all these years they still get chances upon chances as if fate had decided that they should spend the rest of their years only with each other in love despite the hurt that they inflicted on the other…
Despite the pain and the years spent apart…
We were made for each other
Out here forever, I know we were…
All I ever wanted was for you to know…
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul…
I can't hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me…
She didn't know when it happened…
When the band took up where Finn left off after he stopped singing and now they are standing face to face looking at each other while music plays in the background their chest pressed almost closely together…
"Hi…"
He said tenderly in a reverent whisper while staring down at her…
"Hi…"
She said back softly….
And after a couple of seconds that they have spent looking at each other, savoring the moment that was happening to them, Rachel opened her mouth once again…
"I missed you… I' m sooo -"
When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you…
When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too…
When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay…
I miss you…
And even before Rachel can finish apologizing, Finn was already kissing her passionately disregarding the need for apologies and only concerned with their future and what the rest of their lives hold together…
Both of them not even taking notice of the crowd before them as they were lost in their own world….
Rachel helplessly clings on to Finn while his mouth ravaged hers and she wrapped her arms even more tightly around him as if she never wanted to let him go…
Once they broke apart, Finn rests his forehead on Rachel's…
"I'm - I'm - thinking of taking a trip…. As you can see I'm jobless again now…"
He said tenderly…
"For a vacation?"
She asked curiously…
"No… to New York…:"
Rachel looked on at him in shock…
Her heart squeezing with emotions as she felt how much he's willing to uproot himself from a town he's known all his life and make a new start in a city that was strange to him just to follow her and be with her…
She looked on at him… her voice softening to a caress…
"How- how long?
"For good… If you'd have me…"
She didn't move or speak and for a horrible moment Finn thought that he'd been wrong…
That he'd only imagined that she still cared…
And then he realized, she was holding out her hands to his…
He hesitated only for a moment before he laid his hand in her palm…
Rachel feeling his fingers engulf hers in their warm strength, closing tightly on her hand, and then abruptly yanking her forward into arms that wrapped around her once again the way that they did just a few minutes ago…
Finn turned her face up to his…
"I love you..."
There was so much love in his eyes that she feels as if she could drown in them...
"And I love you…"
Rachel whispered back…
And then he was seizing her mouth once again in a passionate kiss…
A flash exploded somewhere as a photographer raised his camera, followed by another, and another as Kurt stood from a distance watching them with a wistful smile and he started to clap…A clap that others followed suit until it became a bursting applause coming from the crowd as reporters and media jostled for space to take note of the moment, questions being shouted at them left and right…
"Rachel… How long have you and Finn been together?"
"Did you know each other before the movie?"
"Are you engaged or getting married?"
"What about Jesse St. James?"
And still the kiss went on…
Rachel didn't notice. .
She was kissing Finn back, melting against him, utterly oblivious to all of it...
Kurt…
The cheering…
The clapping…
The white flashes from raised cameras…
It had been some time but they finally have their happy ending and it might have taken a while for it to come find them but at this moment…
Right here…
All they can only think about was how well the wait has been more than worth it…