AU: Thanx you guys for the awsome comments...You guys make me smile. I'm sorry if I made some of you cry...hope you like chapter 2!
It was a week after Clare Edwards killed herself ,and the halls of Degrassi were filled with tear streaked faces and saddened teenagers. Eli being the sadest out of all, some would even say depressed.
Eli walked the halls like a zombie, blank faced...lifeless. He killed the girl he loved with words that he didn't even mean. He killed the girl he loved in turn killing him. He shuffled to the boys bathroom, and locking himself in a stall, he slid down the wall and buried his head in his knees, crying like he did everyday.
People hated him and his friends for the death of Clare and he couldn't blame them, he also hated himself.
Eli walked out of the bathroom and was instantly shoved into a wall and hissed as his shoulder came in contact with the white brick wall. He looked up to see Adam glaring at him with hatred in his eyes.
"Are you happy now? You finally got rid of her." Adam said with venom in his voice, then walked away down the hall.
Eli pushed himself off the wall, picked up his bag, and made his way to his first class, recieving nasty glares from passing students. He saw Fitz talking to Owen and Reese further down and chose to ignore them, until he saw Fitz's grief stricken face.
Fitz felt completely responsible for Clare killing herself. He hasn't slept in days because everytime he closes his eyes he sees Clare's body falling to the ground.
Fitz always wondered what would have happened if he didn't say those final words. Maybe she would still be alive, her blood was on his hands and it made him sick. Fitz secretly liked Clare but was too much of a coward to tell her. He couldn't even imagine how Eli felt. Eli loved her.
Eli walked to Fitz and the other guys and Fitz couldn't hold back what he wanted to say.
"Eli I am so sorry if I had known she was that messed up I never would have said what I said, I thought she was just trying to get attention I didn't think she was actually going to do it...I am so sorry." Fitz said, silent tears falling from his eyes.
Eli didn't say a word, just stood there and looked at him with blank eyes.
"I don't really want to talk about it...it was mainly my fault, so see you later ,maybe." Eli said in monotone then walked into his class.
oOo
Eli's POV
I was laying on my bed staring up at the ceiling, thinking about her. I couldn't even say her name without getting emotional and on the brink of tears. I hardly slept in days and I felt like I was going insane.
"Are you happy now?" the voice sounded distant and familiar. I sat up and looked around the room to see if anyone was there, besides me the room was empty.
"I'm hearing things." I layed back down on my bed and closed my eyes to relax and clear my head.
"How could you sleep knowing you killed me." The voice said again, this time I knew who it was. My eyes shot open to see her standing in front of me. She looked pale, her hair was dull, her skin was glowing, and she was...translucent.
"Now I know I'm crazy, this isn't real, I just need some sleep, yeah that's it sleep." I mumbled to myself sounding like a crazy person.
"No Eli I'm here, I'm real, and I'm dead, because of you." She said angrily.
"Clare I didn't mean any of those things...I truly did love you, but I didn't know how to tell you." I said trying to sound convincing.
"Oh so you couldn't think to say 'hey Clare I like you, do you want to go out some time?'" she said sarcastically.
I couldn't even believe what I was seing right now.
". for what I did to you, if I could I would take it all back and start over."
"Yeah that's what you say now that I'm dead huh, you know the night before I died my father raped me, multiple times, then got drunk and beat me, what he did that night happened daily but somehow it felt different...worse." She said.
"How?" I was curious.
"He hit me harder...much, much harder this time, like he was getting all the hits he could, like he knew I was going to kill myself." She sounded sad.
"I'm so so-" I tried to apologies but she wasn't having it.
"NO YOUR NOT, YOU JUST FEEL BAD, BECAUSE YOUR GETTING BLAMED...YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME, YOU HATED ME,AND I HATE YOU,WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE DEAD!" She disappeared from my room and left me shaking in fear.
What was she going to do to me? I didn't want to think about this right now. I thought of the only way I could take my mind off of this and walked to my bathroom.
I looked in the mirror, I had dark circles under my eyes, my hair was a mess, and my face was pale.
I reached into the cabinet under the sink and pulled out a pack of raisers, my hands were shaking. I took out a raiser blade and placed the cold metal to my wrist and dragged it across the skin of my wrist opening it slightly.
I hissed at the pain that soon felt good, I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this again, but eveything just got to much to handle.
I watched as the blood dripped around my wrist and into the sink, a smirk crept on my lips.
It's the least I could do for what I did to Clare. This little bit of pain is nothing like what I put Clare through all that time. I desearve this.
AN: Ok guys well I made this story a two shot and I know this chapter sucks, and I apprecite all you guys reading my story. R&R!