Remus awoke in a haze eyes shifting around the hospital room. His whole body felt sickeningly numb. The sunlight was blinding as he opened he turned over. Greeted by a nurse with a very sad smile. She didn't say a word just check his vitals and left. He was thankful for this, Remus was sure if he spoke nothing would come out. His throat felt like it had been fill with super glue. His mind has completely left him. His vast knowledge of words was useless right now. The only one on his mind was Nymphadora. Her voice was stuck in his head. That final 'I love you' played back over and over again. Until it seemed it was all he knew.
A few days later Remus took Teddy home. Thankfully Teddy was alright. In the haze of it all he'd nearly forgotten he had a son, or parents for that matter. Who offered to let him stay with them. He declined feeling the need to be home. And when he entered his beautiful home he still felt numb. The feeling didn't go away even after feeding, bathing and changing his son. The first thing he felt was loss. It hit him hard like a baseball bat to the gut. He walked downstairs and the sunset cast a sad shadow on his wedding picture. Nymphadora's face was glowing and from the angle he was standing it looked like she had a halo.
This hurt, was all he thought before dropping hard to his knees. He cried for hours and hours body shaking. His heart felt as though someone had taken it and torn it in two. He lost track of how long he'd been crying until he heard Teddy crying. Still shaking he made his way upstairs to his son. Whom he rocked softly until they both fell asleep in the chair.
The next four or five days were spent locked in the house. Doing the same thing day after day and breaking down each time Teddy fell asleep. Remus finally felt better until he turned on the local news.
"Local English teacher Remus J. Lupin was in a car crash last week with his wife and son. Both Remus and son Theodore made it out alive. However sadly Nymphadora Lupin did not. The driver of the car that caused the crash is alive and being sent to jail. For texting while driving thus causing the death of this innocent women".
Those words, they stung like a bee in his heart. His wife was dead because some arsehole was texting. He lost all composure he had. He grabbed anything with in arms length and threw it. Things broke someone screamed. He no longer knew what was going on. The sheer rage inside the man couldn't be cooled. And he felt like the monster he looked like. He cried and scream and broke everything in sight. Until the softest voice he'd ever heard whispered in his ear.
"Stop Remmy your scaring Teddy" the voice said. He took a deep breath and turned around. No one was there. But he could hear his son screaming finally and rushed up stairs. His body ached but he held his son and sang. Losing track of the time, the day, his mind, but it didn't matter. Because he had Teddy and that meant things had to get better. Or at least he hopped so. Yawning Remus put his son to bed, took a quick shower and passed out.
The next day the light flooded in hurting his eyes. The peaceful dawn though sadly cut short by Teddy screaming yet again. Making his way slowly out of bed he picked up his son with a smile.
"Ya know for something so small you scream very loud" Remus mumbled out with a chuckle throat still sore from last night. But before he could even reach the bottom step there was a loud pounding and shouting.
"Remus open up it's James I'm worried" the man shouted banging even harder then before.
"Coming. Just hold on a sec please" he groaned unlocking the door with a fake smile on his face.
There stood not only James but Peter as well. Peter and James worked together and Remus had only met him a handful of times. And then there was him, a man Remus had never seen. Black curly shoulder length hair, dark brown eyes. His left eye brow was pierced and so was his nose. And from what he could see the man have several tattoos.
"Hello James,Peter, and umm who ever you are" Remus said with a soft laugh. But James didn't look amused at all.
"There was a call last night from a few of your neighbors to the precinct. They were worried about you it seems you were screaming and crying and breaking things. Rem you okay" James asked putting a hand on the other mans shoulder with a smile.
"Yeah I kinda broke down but I'll be fine no cause for worry" the man in question mumbled out his throat still very sore.
"That may be but your house says otherwise. Listen this is Sirius-" he said gesturing to the once unknown man. "He's, her cousin and he wanted to be here to help anyway possible. I trust Sirius with my life and I know he seems like a scary guy but he's not. So until the funeral is done and over with he'll be staying with you. Just to make sure you stay healthy and semi-happy".
Remus nodded shaking Sirius's hand. The three men followed him to the kitchen. No one talked while Remus made coffee or fed Teddy. So he went upstairs and washed the boy up before setting him down to play in his room.
"Everyone else left" Sirius said when Remus entered the kitchen. "Harry had a doctors appointment and Pete needed a nap".
"Oh alright then" the younger man said grabbing the broom and garbage bags. He wasn't really up to cleaning up he didn't like the idea much of being alone with a man he barely knew. Even if he was Nymphadora cousin.
"Need any help" a voice said breaking his thoughts.
"Ummm yeah the vacuums' in the hall closet if you could vacuum up the carpet so that'd be great" Remus whispered watching the man walk past him. This guy gave him the chills, both his arms were covered in tattoo's. And he was strong from what Remus could see. The man had some muscles unlike him. Remus was skinny,soft brown hair,amber eyes and no tattoo or piercings.
The rest of the day was filled with an awkward tense silence. Though Sirius seemed to want to talk he never said much. Only asking where to put things or for a glass of water. By dinner time much to Remus's great relief the house was clean. So he made a very nice home cook meal and sat down with Sirius and Teddy to eat. The black haired man smiled and said thank you before eating. And for such a scary looking man he ate rather nicely.
"So how olds this one" Sirius said motioning towards Teddy.
"Oh he's only 4 months" Remus said eyes wandering over to his giggling son.
"Teddy right, Like uncle Ted" Sirius asked with a soft smile.
"Yeah" Remus mumbled. "Umm so do those tattoo's mean anything or are they just for show" he asked at least trying to help make conversation.
"Oh each tells a story, this paw print is my nickname. James and Peter call me Padfoot, dogs just love me" Sirius replied with a laugh.
"Oh, you know Peter to" the younger man asked shifting softly in his seat so he could look at Sirius better.
"Yep back in our school days we formed a bit of a club. The Marauders, but we felt odd every club has a brilliant, quiet guy who kind of avoids trouble. But we never had a guy like that so we often got in a shit load of trouble"
Remus laughed as Sirius told stories of his school days. The pranks they pulled, the ways they got out of things. How he picked up girls. The tales went on and on well into the night after Teddy had fallen asleep.
"Hey do you have any beer" Sirius asked. Nodding Remus arose and got the older man some.
"So Remus you've yet to tell me some things about you" Sirius pointed out.
"Oh hmm I'm 27, I teach English at a high school. My favorite color is red and I love the moon and reading. I'm not all that interesting" he mumbled taking a sip of his drink.
"What's your favorite book" Sirius asked with a gleam in his eyes.
"Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. Dear god I've read that book so many times I can quote it perfectly. The copy I have is so warn out it's falling apart. I'm keeping it held together with tape" he said laughing softly.
"See your interesting you just have to talk about things you know and love" Siris said with a soft grin.
They talked a bit more before heading off to bed. Remus feeling slightly better. Though the next day was busy and filled with placing calls and making arguments. His mind was racing a mile a minute now just too keep up. So many people to deal with all in one day, the first one being their health insurance provider. Who was a total arsehole, and very rudely told Remus they needed her full medical history and a copy or her death certificate. It was bad enough he had to think about her dying but to be lashed out at by the people who were suppose to make it easier. He was feeling even worse now, his mind was bringing back images of his sweet 'Dora. All he could do to keep from crying was bite his arm.
"Remus ya hungry I made grilled cheese" Sirius said in a very up beat tone as he opened the door.
"Yeah I could go for some food I guess" he mumbled following the black haired man into the kitchen.
Lunch was fairly nice and they made idol chit chat until Remus began to cry a bit. Confessing how overwhelmed he felt and how even though it'd been nearly two weeks it still felt like it happened only hours ago. How cruel the person had be with him on the phone didn't help. But Sirius just smiled and hugged him tightly.
"I understand. My baby brother Regulus died 6 months ago. I never thought I'd care if he died, I knew it would happen sooner or later I man he hung out with such awful people. But it still hurt and try as I might to act like I don't care I did. So one night three weeks after his death I went out drinking. I ended up in seven different fights and went home with a broken rib and jaw. I learned that you can't escape the pain even if you try because you let them in. But it gets easier over time you just have to take a deep breath and keep on moving".
They stood there for what seemed like hours before Sirius suggest going with him to both the hospital and funeral home. Thus easing a bit of Remus's worry. They even planned to buy her a new dress to lay her in. The one she'd had her eye one for over six months. Remus only hoped they still had it. The drive to the hospital wasn't long and when they arrived everyone was nice. The nurses flirted with Sirius and gave Teddy kisses and candy.
The drive to the funeral home was about an hour and very saddening. Since they had to drive on the road that had just killed his wife not even a month ago. Remus pulled over and cried for a moment as Sirius held him. Teddy also started crying so for nearly an hour they just sat still in the car and cried. Teddy fell asleep and Sirius forced Remus to let him drive. Once they arrived however they both just sat there. Remus didn't want to go in. Doing this would mean she was really dead. And a huge part of him still just couldn't face that.