I haven't left my house in more than a week, I hardly stepped foot out of my own room the whole time. I would just lay in my bed surrounded by darkness and quiet, just thinking. I have been having constant nightmares about Clare, or what use to be. I can't eat, sleep, or even think straight without her invading my thoughts. I haven't spoken to anyone or even had any human interaction in that time.
Cece and Bullfrog seem to be getting frustrated with me, and the therepist seems to be coming by the house more often. He asks me questions that I wouldn't answer and tells me things that I don't listen to. I just shut everyone out, he was diagnosing me with diseases I didn't have. OCD, depression, and other things that I had to take medicane for.
I was laying in my darkened room wallowing in my own self pity and feeling like I was being crushed with the weight of Clare's death. Dr. James my therepist walked into my room with his usuall clipboard and timer.
"Hello Elijah I'm here for your session today." He sat down in my computer across the room, pulled out a pen and started the timer. "So Elijah how was your week?" He asked pen in hand ready to write.
I stayed silent not answering his questions through the whole session. The timer finally went off signaling that the session was over.
He gor up and walked to the bed room door. "I'll see you for tommorrow's session." He walked out of the room and I hear low mumbles of voices outside my door. The voices fade as they walk down the stairs and I hear the front door close.
I sigh in relief that he is gone and I start to feel sleepy and close my eyes to let sleep devoure me.
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I wake up the sound of my door opening and turn to see 2 big guys wuth white coats standing at my door. I sit up confused, thinking this is another nightmare that Clare has planted in my head.
The 2 big men walk over to my bed and I scoot back towards the head board to get away from them. They grab me by my arms and drag me off the bed and onto the floor. I try to get away from them but one of the men picks me up roughly and carries me out of my room.
"PUT ME DOWN...WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! CECE HELP ME!" I scream for Cece and Bullfrog to come help me. The men walk into the living room and I see Cece and Bullfrog standin there watching these men take me.
I'm so confused. Why would they let these strange men take me? This must be one of Clare's nightmares.
"Stop I want to talk to him." Cece says in a soft voice and the men stop and put me down, but still have a grip by my arms.
"Mom please what's going on?" I ask.
"Baby boy you've been so...lost since Clare died, you haven't been yourself and you need help...these men are here to help you." She says and touches my face, I turn my face away from her hand.
"Why would you do this to me? I'm not crazy! It's Clare she's haunting me...she-she won't leave me alone!" I yell but it doesn't look like they are convinced.
"You don't believe me. You think I'm crazy. I'M NOT CRAZY! It's Clare she's messing with me. Mom, Dad please I'm not crazy." I look at them and see tears stream down Cece's face.
"MOM PLEASE TELL THEM!" I start thrashing and the men tighten their grip on my arms and start taking me out of the house.
"PLEASE I'M NOT CRAZY! I'M NOT CRAZY! BELIEVE ME! Clare tell them I'm not crazy, tell them this is a joke, that you're playing games with me. TELL THEM!" I scream looking up at the ceiling waiting for a reply that never came.
The men drag me out of the house and put me in the back of a padded van, This could not be happening, I was dreaming, yeah that's it this is all one big dream that just seems real.
"Clare please let me wake up, I'm scared." I said on the verge of crying.
The van comes to a stop and the men open the back doors and grab me, pulling me out of the van. There was a nurse with a needle and the men hold my arms out while the nurse comes toward me with theneedle. I fight as hard as I can till I feel the prick of the needle in my arm and sudden drowsiness. My eyes roll in the back of my head as I fall into a artificial sleep.
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I was strapped to a bed, confused, with an excrusiating headache. It looked like I was in a hospital, but there was something different about it. Patients were walking the halls like zombies, like they were drugged, and trained not to feel. Then it all came to me, where I am.
I'm in a mental hospital.
All the events that led up to this, running through my mind making my headache worse. My parents put me here for my own good. Fuck them. I'm fine. I've just been down since Clare died. When she died, feelings came up that I didn't even know I had. She was standing on that roof in pain, and it was parcialy my fault.
You know that saying 'You don't know what you got until it's gone'? That's completely true. I didn't know how much I loved and cared for Clare until she took her life on the roof. I didn't want to hurt her, but I also didn't want her to know how I truely felt. Look how great that turned out.
"Hello Eli", The sound of her gentle voice ripped me from my reverie,I slowly turned a horrified expression spreading across my face.
There she stood, my Clare, covered in blood and a gash in her head. I couldn't move. This can't be happening, she's not here. She stood there with a smile on her face, but not the beautiful smile I fell in love with. No. This was a smile that made me fear for my life.
"I love you too Eli, we can be together now...your almost there." She said walking closer to my bed. I tried to move but the restraints wouldn't allow me to.
"Wha-What do you mean?"
"I did this for you."
"Clare...what did you do...TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!" I yelled trying to get out of the bed. She slowly walked to the bed and reached a blood soaked hand to touch my face.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I yelled and turned my face away from her hand, feeling her hand on my cheek.
"ELI ELI CALM DOWN!" My eyes snapped open to see a nurse in front of me , her hands where Clare's were.
That wasn't Clare? Maybe I am going insane. No. This is just apart of Clare's sick game. I know what I saw and that wasn't the fucking nurse.
"WHERE'S CLARE, SHE WAS JUST HERE!" I looked around the room and there was no sign of her ever being here.
"No Elijah she wasn't." The nurse said in a calm tone that pissed me off.
"Don't call me that, it's Eli and SHE WAS JUST FUCKING HERE!"
"Eli calm down you just need some rest, I'll go get your medication." The nurse left the room and came back a few minutes later with a small cup with my pills abd a bottled water.
"Here you go." She said handing me my medicine with the water.
I took the medicine, drank the water and gave the empty cup back to the nurse before she left the room again.
No matter how much I tried to not think of Clare...I just couldn't. She is dead because of me and now because I killed her I'm paying for it. I have to stay in this place for God knows how long while they grill me about my feelings and try to get into my head.
I just wish that would have been me that jumped off that roof instead of Clare. She had so much more to live for. She was nice, caring, beautiful, smart, and...broken. She didn't deserve what any of us did to her.
It should have been me, and now because of what I did Clare will forever haunt me.
That was the last chapter you guys. I hope you liked my story and I will hopefully have another chapter of it hurts too much posted soon.
I honestly don't think that was a very good ending, and if you dont think so R & R and tell me what you think of it.
Thanx for reading :)