4. Touch
The monks were pretty silent people. I mean, they said what they had to say and they were great teachers and everything but they didn't believe in excess talking. Too much talking binds you to the earth and interrupts your meditation. And so, instead of comforting words they instead gave comforting touches. And, believe it or not, that hand on your arm squeezing to let you know it'll be okay is just as good as an hour-long speech.
This is also one of the things that drew me to Katara in the first place. Yeah, she gives great optimistic speeches. But her real comfort is in her touch. I learnt that the first time she managed to bring me out of the Avatar state. Yeah, her words were soothing and comforting and all but it was her holding my hand that really made the terror sort of alright. She seems to be able to pass through all her love and all her warmth through her fingers. Almost like Firebending, I suppose. And from then on I realized that she too was a touching person; I saw it clearer and clearer as we traveled. I could tell a lot about how she was feeling by her touches- if she was agitated or scared or proud. And I could also tell how she felt about a person by her touches: she only really touches those she likes. Even in battle she hardly ever has any physical contact with her opponents so her contact is limited to those she trusts and loves.
It took her nearly a month to finally lay a hand on Toph's shoulder. I don't think anybody else understood how huge that gesture was- heck, I don't even think they noticed it- but I did, and I understood. Toph was finally truly one of us. Katara trusted her fully, loved her even. And it's not just my imagination or something she grew out of. Even now that the war is over she does not touch those from the Fire Nation. She'll help them, be utterly polite to them, stay with them, laugh with them, feel for them. But she never does more than let her fingers brush against theirs. Because 'Fire Nation' still resides as a deep wound in her heart, and that's something that's going to take a long time to heal.
And when I say 'long time', I'm not kidding. It took her ages and ages to finally touch Zuko. I can understand why she didn't trust him in the beginning but after a while her attitude just became rather ridiculous. After the first day he'd joined us where she'd threatened him and told him to get lost she made sure she was always a very good distance away from him. It was almost like she was keeping herself away just in case she got tempted to establish some physical contact with him. Actually, I remember thinking once that she treated him like he was an open flame. Like she'd touched him once and burned herself s badly that she wasn't ever going to give it half a chance to happen again.
I was actually rather relieved when she finally hugged him. Whatever he'd done while they were away had finally broken down the hatred that was blinding her and she had to accept that he was one of us. Since that day she hasn't minded touching him at all. In fact, Zuko and Iroh are about the only two from the Fire Nation that she touches readily and with well-intended purpose. Zuko more so than Iroh- she's closer to the new Firelord. In actual fact, that stunned Gran Gran to no end the first time all of us got together for a celebration. Gran Gran is a very wise woman, and therefore she knows about Katara's touches. And at one point during the evening she stopped stock-still and gaped at her granddaughter. When she was asked what was wrong she replied, "She really isn't afraid to touch him" while she continued to gape at Katara who had her hand on Zuko's shoulder as they talked together.
I explained to her that they were friends and she gave me this funny look, as though I was left out of some little loop of knowledge that she had access too. But after that she didn't say another word about it. It did make me wonder, for a while, what she thought she saw. So I watched Zuko and Katara a bit closer for a bit after that. I swear I saw Suki doing the same- she even looked like she was sniffing Katara at some stage. But anyway. I didn't see anything different. Katara seemed to touch his arm a little bit more than she did with anybody else and it sometimes seemed she wanted her body to be so close to his that they brushed against each other from time to time but that was really just because he's one of her very best friends and they haven't seen each other for ages.
And, anyway, I'm sure she touches people differently according to her relationship with them. I mean, she hardly touches her brother even though everybody knows they love each other as much as the world. And she holds my hand, something she doesn't do with anybody else. So it's only natural that she touches Zuko a little differently than anybody else. Sometimes, though, I wish I could read her touches better so I could see what she was telling him. I sometimes get the feeling there's this little secret they have that they're not telling anybody. And sometimes, just for brief seconds, this silly little worry makes me think the touches she gives him hold more warmth than the ones she gives me do.