"This isn't one sided," she whispers in my ear.

She knows that I'm awake. And that isn't a surprise to me. Maura has always been attuned to my body, more so than me at times. And I know that she is right. But I don't want to meet this fate. Not now. Not yet. As brave as she may think I am; I'm really am not. She has built me up to be this kind of superhero and I don't know how to tell her that I'm really not. I can easily be a champion for others but find it hard to do the same for myself. So many times I've had to put my own thoughts on the back burner for my charge, whoever that may be at the time, and focus solely on their well being. And in my doing that, I have forgotten me. I'm always my last concern. The hero? I cringe at that moniker. That is not me.

She still lays on my chest. I was too exhausted to move after my crying had subsided. Truth be told, I didn't want her to move. Maura was my shield. She stopped the nightmares. I needed her, more than I think she'll ever know.

Her lips claim my jaw and her tongue caresses my skin gently. I try to relax into the intimacy but can't. I don't know why or maybe I do but refuse to admit it to myself. Her hand climbs into my hair and massages my head willing me to forget him and feel her. I bite my lower lip surpressing a moan because it feels so good.

"Don't hide from me," she whispers.

My hands slide down her back and rest on her hips. I let out a slow and shaky breath as her mouth travels higher to my earlobe. Once again her tongue is tasting my skin. This time I let her know that I am enjoying her actions when she finds the tiny space between my earlobe and my jaw. I never had lover explore that area before and the fact that Maura has discovered it, doesn't go unnoticed by me. I've never let anyone get this close to me before; physically or otherwise. Only Maura knows me. I turn my head, exposing more of my neck to her, giving her access to me. I think I hear her giggle, I'm not sure, but I know Maura isn't the type to take what is happening lightly. I grip her hips, pulling her further down on me, needing to feel her pelvis on mine. The heat that is rapidly building from her slow assault on my neck is opening me up faster than I've ever been. I grind up against her.

"We have time," she breaks away.

"Don't want time," I pant. "I want you. Now."

I cup her sex trying to get at her faster. She pulls away and takes my hand with her.

"On my terms," she stares down at me. "You don't need fast and hard. You need gentle and slow. Let me give you want you need."

Her eyes look at me not through me, taking in everything that I am and I feel so vulnerable at her open absorption of me. She knows me. She knows me sometimes better than I know myself.

"This isn't one sided, Jane. Please let this be my silent explanation of what you mean to me."

She leans down and captures my lips in a pleading kiss. I surrender to her control.

I love the way Maura kisses me. She takes what she wants, when she wants it. She doesn't allow my mind to take over but let my emotions ride along with hers as they step off the cliff together and soar. I give Maura what she wants. I relax and feel her hands on my body. She pulls me up and undresses both of us. The sight of her flushed flesh makes me beg for a touch.

"This isn't about me."

"It's always been about you."

I place both hands on her chest, feeling her heat and her heart beat into my open palms. I attack her neck, making my mark as she whimpers.

"It's always been about you," I repeat in between kisses.

Those five words become my mantra as she offers me my moment of truth. I can no longer focus

I feel like I'm moving too fast. But I don't want this moment to pass. I need to find a way to slow down and enjoy this moment. I need this moment.

"Jane, you have me," she kisses my forehead.

And in that simple kiss, I breakdown in tears again. I claw at her back as I bury my head in her chest. She wraps arms and legs around me, sitting in my lap, rocking us back and forth in a soothing sway.

"I love you, Jane."

A gut wrenching sob tears through me and she holds me tighter.

"He had you once, but I have you now, and I'm never letting go. I will fight for you. Do you hear me, Jane? I will fight for you."