Innocence Implied

Disclaimer: Don't own anything to do with Supernatural, sigh just play with the boys and then send em home again...More or less in the same condition as when I er...

Summary: Dean is 21 and Sam is 17.

This is the continuation of my Innocence Trilogy so if you haven't read them it might pay to go and read them first and then come back here. I promise the story will be here waiting for you when you get back.

S—D

Chapter Eight: Please Sammy come back to me, I can't do this without you.

Then:

Nurse Arnold Cunningham gingerly prodded his bruised cheek, it wasn't the first time a patient had decked him and it probably won't be the last, but Arnold had a particular interest in the Murphy boys.

He knew the boys' faces from the party they were Ed and Claude's boys, they might be the biological sons of John Murphy but they were the sons of his friends Ed and Claude.

With a smile on his face he petted his own boy's hair while he waited for Ed to answer his cell phone, since the raid on Ed's house he hadn't heard from them and now Sean and David were back with Murphy, something was wrong and he was going to help make it right.

'Ed? Hi it's Falcon, yeah, yeah hey got some news for ya on David and Sean … yeah, yeah come here Ed … yeah still at the same address … yeah we'll see ya soon.' Arnold hung up and then grinned down at the boy cowering next to him, 'get dressed we're going to have company.'

Now:

John glared at the doctor as he stood up and moved as though he was going to attack the man. 'Sit down John,' Jim said calmly he was all too familiar with John Winchester's explosive temper and the last thing the boys need was for their father to be ejected from the hospital or worse arrested for assault.

'Didn't you hear what he just suggested?' John fumed this was all getting too much, the open road was starting to call him away from the sterility of the hospital rooms and the seemingly hopeless situation his sons were in.

'Yes I did hear him and I personally think it might be beneficial for them.' Jim responded as he locked gazes with John, 'think about it for a minute, what Sam and Dean have gone through none of us can relate to in a million years. A therapist will help them deal…'

'Gentleman, perhaps I should leave you to discuss this for a few minutes,' Doctor Shawn Collins interrupted the two men, 'I have to go and check on a couple of other patients here in the ICU, stay in here and talk about it, I'll be back soon.' He said as he edged towards the door, with the way that particular discussion was going he did not want to be anywhere near to cop any of the fallout.

John watched the medic leave before returning his full attention and ire at Pastor Jim, 'There is only one way Winchesters deal with things and it does not include letting some shrink inside our heads.'

'Can you talk to Sam about being raped?' Jim asked knowing that the question was harsh but John had to be forced into reality before he inadvertently did or said something to push the boys over that very close cliff. 'Can you face Dean while he tells you how they tortured him repeatedly before raping him?'

'Jim!'

'No listen to me John Winchester, you have to put your own emotions and judgements aside and think of the boys.'

'That's all I do dammit Jim.'

'No, no you don't John you like to think you do but … have you even had a simple conversation with Sam since he had woken up? Can you look at him in the eye? And what about Dean can you see past the abuse? Your awkwardness directly affects them John.' Jim shook his head and sighed deeply, 'I am not attacking you personally John, and Lord knows I love those boys as though they are kin, but there are things even I cannot understand or pretend to know enough to help them through this.'

John opened his mouth to argue with his friend but then stopped himself and dropped into the chair he had just vacated, looking for all intents and purposes as if he had been deflated. 'What am I meant to do Jim? Just tell me what I am meant to do coz I really don't know anymore.'

'Stop feeling so sorry for yourself for a start,' Jim said, 'then you can start putting the boys' needs first for a bit. No running off for a hunt.'

'Jim!' John instantly fired up again, he wouldn't admit it under the threat of torture or death but Jim's last comment had him seeing red literally … it was too close to the truth for his comfort.

Jim sighed and shook his head, 'that is exactly what you're planning isn't it John.'

'Jim … what am I mean to do? The demon that killed Mary is still out there, people are dying … Sam and Dean I – I can't help them, and don't argue with that coz you just said the exact same thing so why can't I do something that I know can help.'

'Help you that is,' Jim shook his head, 'go John I will stay here with Dean and Sam.'

'What the … What's the sudden change in attitude all about?'

'You are only going to make everyone's life a misery if you stay here, your fuse will get short and shorter … I do have one condition though.'

'Which is?'

'You are the one who has to tell the boys, you tell them why you're leaving and what you're up to. You are not going to just up and disappear on them.'

John thought about the condition for a moment and then nodded his head, he may not be able to help his sons but he can help the victims of the supernatural and that is a good trade in his mind. He just had to workout how he was going to explain it to Dean and Sam.

'What about the therapy sessions the doctor wants the boys to do?'

'As long as you are there with them … but if they suffer because of them then it's on your head preacher man.'

S—D

John walked into the boys' room and stopped hidden in the shadows while he watched them for a few minutes. Bobby had pushed their beds together the other day and Doctor Collins said that there was nothing wrong with leaving them together as long as they both got plenty of rest.

They sat pressed together as much as they could considering Dean's back and Sam's traction held leg, he couldn't make out what they were talking about and it sent a shiver of jealousy through him. He pulled his shoulders back and let the jealousy work for him, he knew deep down that it was the coward's way but it was also the best for all of them in the long run.

'Dean, Sammy,' he spoke quietly so as not to startle the still very skittish brothers.

'Hey dad,' Dean answered, he had started talking for Sam again, just like he did when they were small, Sam only had to look at his brother and Dean would know exactly what to say or to ask.

'Boys I ah need to talk to you two,' John said as he pulled a chair closer to Dean's side of the bed, while getting situated he failed to notice the look of disappointment and despair on Sam's face, 'about a couple of things.'

'When are you leaving dad?' Dean asked as he held onto his brother's hand, and kept his gaze fixed on the blankets covering them.

'Tomorrow, I – I'm sorry Dean, Sam but I need to be out there looking for your mom's killer, while the two of you are in here. Pastor Jim's gonna stay here with you while I'm gone, I'll be keeping base here though so …'

'That's okay dad, we understand,' Dean answered in a monotone voice, 'you'll be back soon and when we get outta here?'

'Yeah, I'm ahh gonna look for a house either in Blue Earth or Sioux Falls so don't worry about anything, and I'll have my phone on me at all times.'

'That's okay dad, we'll be fine.' Dean said, 'you, you said that there were a couple of things?'

'Oh yeah, me and Jim had a meeting with Doctor Collins this morning,' John started finding it harder to talk about the therapy idea than his leaving.

'Bout what dad,' Dean asked suspiciously.

'We do something wrong dad?' Sam asked so quietly that John had to focus on his youngest completely.

'Did you say something Sammy?' John tried to make eye contact but Sam kept his head down and his eyes fixed on the traction sling holding his leg.

'No Sir.' Sam whispered shaking his head, his eyes growing large and luminous with unshed tears.

'Dad what's going on?' Dean interrupted knowing that Sam needed the attention off him again, 'what does the doc want?'

'He thinks that it'll be good for the two of you to talk to a shrink.'

'A-A what,' Dean stammered, 'someone else to know what happened?'

'He seems to think that it will help you deal, you get to decided though, if you don't want to do anything you don't have to.'

'I-I want to Dean.' Sam murmured just loud enough for his brother to hear clearly, 'but, but no man.'

'You sure Sammy we don't have to?' Dean asked his brother and suddenly John was locked out of their bubble-world again. Their whispered conversation and intimate interaction left John feeling more like the third-wheel than ever before. Silently he stood up, watched them for a few more minutes and then muttered goodbye before walking out the door.

S—D

Doctor Janice Day sat at her desk and studied the files of her latest patients, and her heart broke for them before she had finished reading the first page. After fifteen years in her own practice psychiatrist Janice Day made a life changing decision when she gave her practice up to work in the hospital and to specialise in sexual assault; dealing primarily with male victims.

In her late forties, she had two marriages behind her, a grandchild on the way and a "toy-boy" boyfriend, ten years her junior. Janice had a calm demeanour that seemed to put even the most nervous person at ease. With a few silver streaks in her dark brown hair messily pulled back in a basic ponytail, her brown eyes sparkled even when she didn't smile, but when she did her entire face "glowed".

The file she was reading read like a sensational cheap novel. Two brothers who were victims of a paedophile as small children, when they had been abused, kidnapped and brainwashed lived with their widowed father and had a nomadic lifestyle. One of their abusers had died at the hands of eight year old Dean, the other jailed until recently when he had been released on probation. With the help of another paedophile he kidnapped the boys again after tracking them down. They had been tortured, left with horrific physical injuries but had also been sexually molested and used as "slaves" for their new "fathers" when they hosted a party for members of their "ring".

Their father had given permission for the boys to have some sessions with Janice as long as their uncle, Pastor Jim Murphy was able to sit in with them. Their father had left Jim as their guardian while he returned to whatever work he did.

Finishing her coffee, Janice steeled herself for the next part, the photographic evidence of their horrific wounds and the doctor's reports. Her own tears threatened to fall when she saw their faces, two extremely handsome young men, who both looked gaunt, ill and older than their tender years. With a deep breath she chose to read Dean's file first, studying the photos of the eldest brother, the look in his eyes made the seasoned therapist shudder, he had an underlying impotent violence that needed an outlet.

The litany of injuries made her squirm and wonder about his inner tenacity to survive. Sixty-two lash marks, thirty of which had to have skin grafts to repair the damage causing permanent nerve damage which will cause problems as he gets older; a fractured nose and cheekbone; chipped clavicle, three broken ribs, four more fractured and bruising around his kidneys. Anal ripping, bruising as well as bruising on his genitalia, he also bore scars from older injuries and yet he still survived.

Swallowing down on her rebellious stomach, Doctor Janice Day turned the page to Sam's file, four years younger than Dean; he was literally a toddler when they were first abducted. He had similar broken and fractured ribs as his brother, also the damage and bruising to his genitals and anus but it was the injuries to his knee and ankle that had Janice gasping.

How did these two boys survive? The question kept racing through her mind as she forced herself to go over the photos once again, this time paying particular attention to their faces where they were shown.

She would have loved to have seen the boys before this tragedy happened, to have known the true Murphy brothers and not the seemingly shells or fragments of their former selves.

S—D

Dean sat watching Sam sleep, this was his duty now, to watch over his baby brother and to be there for him when he wakes. He wasn't able to be there for Sammy when they were with Claude and Ed but he was going to be there for him now.

'Dean?' Sam's soft voice broke through his inner musings, 'why does dad hate me?'

Ah Sammy not now, not this again. Dean scrubbed the palm of his free hand over his eyes to wake himself up a bit before he answered Sam, 'dad doesn't hate you Sammy, he just … he's having a hard time with all of this.'

'So are we Dean, we're the ones it happened to not dad.' Sam said as he opened his still light sensitive eyes and looked up at his "guardian angel".

'Now that sounds like the old Sam,' Dean grinned albeit wearily but a grin nonetheless. 'Dad doesn't understand what we went through, I guess it freaks him out to know that he couldn't … wasn't able to do anything to stop everything from happening.'

'If he was … would it have happened if he was home when they took us?'

'I honestly don't know Sam.' Dean said not wanting to continue the discussion, no matter what he could or would say, their dad got damned in Sam's mind. He had let Sam down again.

'Boys do you mind if we join you?' Jim asked as he came into the hospital room followed by a woman with just an ID tag clipped to her jacket lapel.

'Who's we Jim?' Dean asked suspiciously although he didn't look up enough to make eye contact.

'This is the therapist Doctor Collins wanted to talk to you, Doctor Janice Day. Janice this is Sam and Dean my nephews.'

'Ma'am.' Both boys acknowledged the woman's presence without looking at her, although Sam appeared to visibly relax slightly.

'Sam, Dean please call me Janice,' she smiled at them her eyes glittering in the soft glow of the lowered lights. 'Is it light enough in here for you?'

'Sam's eyes are still sensitive,' Dean spat out as he tried to move to block her view of his brother.

'Oh okay, the soft lighting works well then?' Janice smiled and gave Dean her full attention, 'do you mind if I sit down?'

'Can Jim stay with us?' Dean asked shooting a quick look at their lifelong family friend and "adopted" uncle.

'Sure can, we have already talked to your dad and doctor and Jim is happy to sit in to be here for the two of you.'

'Thanks Jim.' Sam glanced up but still didn't quite make contact with the look but gave Jim a small smile.

'Okay so what if we get started, today we can just get to know each other,' Janice said as she pulled the two files out of her briefcase as well as a leather bound notebook.

'Dean … just like dad's journal,' Sam whispered as he watched Janice get organised. Dean frowned and glanced over at the therapist to see what Sam meant, the leather bound book looked new and much neater but it was exactly like their dad's.

'Is there something wrong Sam?' Janice asked when she noticed his attention focused on her book.

'N-no Ma'am,' Sam stammered as he pulled his gaze away and seemed to shrink back against his pillows becoming impossibly small.

'It's okay Sam, you're not going to get in trouble asking me about my notebook,' Janice smiled at him, 'are you in pain?'

'M'fine.' Sam replied as he started to shutdown when he realised that he was the centre of attention. Janice noticed his reaction and made a small note.

'What did you write down?' Dean demanded his frustration at the intrusion into their lives started to show itself. Why couldn't they all just leave me and Sam alone?

'Just a small note about Sam not wanting to be the centre of attention,' Janice answered deciding immediately that she had to be completely honest with him in everything. Any hedging or blurring the lines and Dean would pick it up immediately. 'So Dean how about we start?'

'Well?' Dean asked his demeanour changing as he lifted his eyes and stared at her almost defiantly. 'Where would you like to start Doctor?'

S—D

'They cut my hair,' Sam whispered randomly, his fingers absently twisted uneven strands between them; it was as though they were acting of their own accord. 'He – he punished me, washed my mouth out with soap for … not supposed to talk back to him.'

'Sam how did this make you feel?' Janice asked, they were now into their third session and this was the first time Sam had spoken up independent of her questions. 'Sam?'

But Sam was lost again, reliving that day in his mind, a whimper slipped from his lips as he buried his face against Dean's side. His brother winced but held on tight and ignored the others in the room, he had to protect Sammy.

'Sam are you okay?' Jim asked, this was the first time he had spoken up during the session letting Janice lead them instead.

'Bad, bad, bad, bad boy, punish bad boys,' Sam kept repeating, 'I was bad and had to be punished.'

'Shh Sammy, it's okay he's gone Claude's gone he can't hurt you anymore,' Dean whispered in Sam's ear, 'please Sammy come back to me, I can't do this without you.'

'I-I couldn't … I couldn't b-breath he-he forced soap into my-my m-mouth,' Sam kept mumbling, 'bath too hot, bath too hot, soap in my mouth, hot bath, soap mouth.' He started to chant, soft giggles interspersed through the words. Dean clutched his brother tightly and tried to reach him.

'Sammy, hey kiddo it's Dean Claude's gone, all gone we're safe, that's it little bro come on back to me.'

'He-he cut my hair Dean, why did he cut my hair?' Sam opened his eyes and tilted his head enough to look at his brother without straining. 'Why did he cut my hair?'

'Coz he was a bastard Sammy, a crap-assed sonovabitch.'

'He was wasn't he?' Sam blinked and then turned his gaze to Jim and Janice, 'm'sorry.'

'Nothing to be sorry for Sam,' Jim said.

'Jim is right, there is nothing to be sorry for Sam, it's healthy for you to get it out. The more you keep locked up the bigger the …'

'I'm not crazy,' Sam yelled as he struggled to sit up, pulling on the traction sling, 'not crazy.'

'Sam, Sam calm down bro,' Dean grabbed hold of Sam's flailing hands and held them close to his own chest. 'It's okay no one's gonna make you do anything you don't want to.'

'They wanted to hurt me, so why not them?' Sam spat out, 'they hurt you too Dean, they hurt you in the ….' Sam's eyes widened as he realised what he was going to let slip, 'I'm so, so sorry Dean, please don't be mad.'

'M'not mad Sammy, I can never be mad with you.' Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, the memories of that particular afternoon crowding his thoughts and his anger bubbled over. 'Get outta my head, argh get outta my head.'

'Dean, Sam I need you both to calm down,' Janice put her notebook and files down and approached the beds from Sam's side. Jim mimicked her actions on Dean's side.

'Get em outta my head,' Dean started to thump the side of his head, 'he's in my head, I can see him, hear him get him out please get him out.'

'Deanie?' Sam blinked his brother's distress providing enough of an anchor to steady Dean's anxiety. 'Dean stay with me.'

'Sorry Sammy,' Dean rested his aching head on Sam's shoulder and tried to gather his thoughts before acknowledging the others.

'Sorry Jim, Janice, sorry for that,' Dean looked up at the others and then dropped his gaze once again, 'I ah … I'm fine now.'

'Want to talk about it?' Janice asked although this time she didn't pick her notebook back up, instead she sat there ready to just listen.

'Nothing much to tell Lady, Ed got me and Claude got Sammy, they separated us, it was the day of the party.' Dean said and then shut down completely. 'M'tired, we need a-a sleep now.'

'M'leepy.' Sam yawned and twisted around awkwardly until he felt comfortable enough to lean against Dean and sleep.

'That's okay boys, Bobby and me'll be here for you, just get some sleep.' Jim said as he got up and cautiously moved towards the beds. 'I'll talk to you in a little while Dean, Sam.'

'Thanks Jim.' Dean gave him a wan smile and then directed his stare to Janice who had packed her small briefcase and was also standing, 'thanks Doc.'

'I'm here whenever you want to talk Dean, just have the nurse page me,' Janice said as she said goodbye and left.

S—D

'Janice?' Jim called after the woman when he left the boys' room, 'what do you think?'

'There's a lot they have both blocked out, whether consciously or subconsciously I can't tell yet. It is going to take more than just a handful of sessions to get Sam and Dean back if ever,' Janice smiled and gently laid her hand on the pastor's hand, 'but they have you and Bobby and their father watching over them. We're all here as well they are more than well supported.'

'That is true, I couldn't have said it better myself.' Jim smiled. Just then a horrific scream came from the boys' room making both of them run back, meeting up with a sleepy looking Bobby at the door.

'What the hell?' Bobby grumbled.

'Don't know.' Jim said as he pushed Janice behind both he and Bobby as they went back inside the private ICU room.

S—D

'We gotta get outta here Sammy,' Dean whispered after Jim and Janice had left, the two brothers were sitting together talking quietly, their sleepiness all but gone now they were on their own.

'How Dean? I can't walk and you can hardly move…' Sam asked in a more steady voice, comfortable with just his brother's presence.

'Dunno Sammy but as soon as we can we have to get out of here.'

'Dean … Dean I'm sorry.'

'What for this time Sam?' Dean chuckled softly, this was his teenaged brother's latest habit, constantly apologising, originally it annoyed the hell out of him but now, now Dean has realised that it was one of Sam's coping mechanisms. Who needs a shrink?

'I don't remember and I should remember stuff,' Sam said softly twisting his fingers in his blanket, 'I remember pieces but not whole.'

'That's fine Sammy, you don't have to remember.'

'But they want me to.'

'Who Sammy?'

'Doctors, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Jim, dad.' Sam hung his head at the mention of his dad, 'sent dad away.'

'No, no you didn't send dad away Sammy,' Dean said a little more forcefully than he intended but this time his brother didn't dissolve into tears or screaming apologies. Instead Sam just sat there with a strange smile on his face.

'You're right Dean, dad hates me and nothing I can do bout it. Didn't send him away coz he was already gone.'

'Sam?' Dean cupped Sam's face with his free hand and made him look up, 'what's the matter dude?'

'C-Cold … so-so c-c-cold.' Sam shivered and moved closer to Dean craving his body warmth.

'Sam?' Dean felt the temperature drop too fast to be normal, wrapping his arm around Sam's shoulders Dean scanned the area for any danger present.

'De…' Sam pointed to the corner by the window. 'How?'

Dean followed Sam's finger, his face paling even more when he realised who it was standing in the corner. 'Don't you touch him!' He yelled out as Sam screamed.

TBC