Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

Why did he always seem so… so, she couldn't seem to find the right word. He only smiled one time, and that had been directed to her only, was she special? She wanted to ask but she knew better than that. Rin had a feeling that she had been the only one to witness that smile, since no one else had any sort of reaction than her; and her reaction had been a simple small widening of her eyes.

Rin hadn't wanted to go; she never stated her reason allowed as to why she wanted to stay, she just simply said, "I am going to stay, Sesshomaru-sama."

This led to Sesshomaru and his small pack staying and forming some sort of 'alliance' between the two groups. Of course Sesshomaru only had stayed because Inuyasha had said to his ward, "Ya, ain't stayin' here ya wench." Really what had he expected after saying such an uncouth statement in front of his half-brother.

He had it coming, that's all she had mentally thought.

Kai seems to have a knack of enjoying violence, why would she say that? Well during Sesshomaru little act of showing Inuyasha who the 'Alpha' really was during his stay, she had seen Kai's blue eye lighten in amusement, like he found Inuyasha humiliation amusing.

She had realized after the first day that Kai had some sort of vendetta against Inuyasha's pack, specifically: Inuyasha, Sango and Shippo. She didn't know what he thought of the Houshi, Miroku, since neither Miroku nor Kai had made a move to acknowledge each other. So she could not make any other conclusion about them other than simple indifference between the two until they talk to each other.

Sesshomaru was respected, that was a given.

She realized a week ago that Kai wasn't much of a talker, the first time they had met him must have been some kind of rare occurrence. He seemed to ignore all questions asked to his direction except for her question, which made her feel a little wary about him. If Sesshomaru were to ask him a question, something told her that he would answer him.

"She died with a smile."

He knew how Kagome had died, not only that but had also witnessed the event. Maybe that was why he seemed like he had "An icy stick shoved up his ass," was the way Kagome would have referred to his attitude.

Rin glanced at the sleeping Kai, had he smiled more when Kagome had been alive.

She heaved a sigh, "Rin," she turned her head to her lord, "Sleep."

"Hai," she made a move lie down when a question popped into her head, "Sesshomaru-sama. Do you think that Kai would have been a nice person to meet in different circumstances?"

No response, she knew he wouldn't answer but he didn't have to speak aloud for her to answer her question. "Hai."

She smiled, but sometimes he would answer her, "I suspect he witnessed the moment Ka…" she didn't finish her statement, for saying it out loud for her would be as though she was accepting her death. She wasn't ready to let go of the closest person to mother she ever had.

"My mother, I can't remember her face," not knowing she was speaking aloud. "Does that make me a bad daughter? I can't even remember her smile or laugh, every time I think about my mother, I think of Kagome. Am I dishonoring mother by replacing her? Have I disrespected her? I don't feel sad whenever I think about mother, but when I think her I feel empty inside. I am horrible person to think that."

Sesshomaru made no move to comfort his ward; he had no experience in such a subject. Had she subconsciously said this aloud in attempt to find her answers to the questions that caused her pain?

For the first time in centuries, he was at lost to what he should do; his ward had always been different from the typical ningen.

"You're not horrible person," another voice spoke.

Rin snapped her head to Miroku, tears running down her face, realizing that she was crying she wiped her eyes. Had she spoken aloud, she must have made her lord uncomfortable with her simple ningen worries.

"I cannot find myself to remember my own parents faces, but I does not mean that have dishonored them in any way, it just means I have moved on. One cannot always dwell in the past for it will only taint that ones soul. You have moved on from your parents' death, but cannot find yourself to move on from Kagome."

"You shouldn't feel guilty for seeing Kagome as mother either; she did have motherly way when it came to young children. It is understandable; it's human nature to seek guidance. That is what parents are, our guidance to the world. They are our comfort…our everything until adulthood. Since that was taken away from you, you had unwittingly sought out for your own guidance. Do not feel guilt for something you had no control over and understand that it is also human nature to let go. If you don't let go, you'll become something other, something much like Naraku. He who could not let go of Kikyo and we all know how that turned out don't we. Let go and move on. Don't lose yourself to your sorrow."

"Thank you Houshi-sama," she found herself gaining respect for the perverted houshi.

"Sleep now, you seem tired Rin." He said this as he adjusted himself into a sleeping position.

Despite his words, she still couldn't help it, she didn't want to let go, not until she knew why and how Kagome had died. Maybe then she will be able to let go. Only time will tell, she hoped she really had died with a smile. Her last thought as she fell asleep was how similar Kai's smile was to Kagome's smile.

"You were awake throughout the entire time," Sesshomaru stated.

"I was," Kai spoke quietly, "though not listen in. I wished to know why she had acted so differently when it came to Kagome's un-timely death. I have my answer now. She simply has different perspective views of life than the regular below average human mind. Had she grown up in my time, she would have been considered a prodigy of the human mind. That is indeed a rare occurrence even in my time. Brilliant minds are so hard to come by."

"Hn"

The Houshi had words of wisdom; he silently thanked the man for comforting Rin. Kai wished that he had been there to give him that wisdom when he had been by himself during the first days of mourning. He was right, he hadn't been able to let go and look how he stands now.

He understood Rin's way of thinking, he use to have the same thoughts.

That had been a long time ago.

A very long time ago.

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Sorry for the late up-date but school started once more, and guess what I have NIGHT school AGAIN -_-: It's not fair! But I deserve it anyways. Not only that but I started school on August 23rd! that's worse than last year last it was the 26th and the year before that the 27th and the year... you get the picture, but I seriously don't mind. But OMG pick a date already! Glad this my last year in that school. Ha, you guys don't didn't have read that but still it's just it can be fustrating! Gonna be extremely busy the next few months but I will try to keep up on up-dating.

Guess what I was listening to when I wrote this. Johnny Cash, such a wonderful singer and artist. He will be missed.

Again please forgive my late up-date.

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