A/N: Fuck you, Shar.

o0o

Estonia couldn't sleep. For hours he tossed and turned, the pain in his chest making him restless. It was that feeling that drove him out of his room and into the halls of the mansion, looking for even the smallest solace. First, he went to the library and tried to read, but the words on the pages wouldn't meet his eyes, and he soon gave up. Next he tried the kitchen, thinking that he may be able to ease the pain with food, but the thought of eating made him nauseous, so he quickly left. For a while, he just wandered the halls, finding it the only thing he could do to ease his mind.

He didn't know when he had decided to walk to Russia's room, but he soon found himself at the front of the other man's door. For a moment, he questioned whether he should just go back to his room, but his body wasn't connected with his thoughts and his arm reached out to open the door.

He expected to find Russia asleep.

He was surprised to see the older man sitting at the foot of his bed, staring out the window.

It was hard to tell who was more surprised, as Russia quickly jumped up and wiped his face on his sleeve. Estonia felt like his heart were going to break. Had Russia been crying? Russia…wasn't supposed to cry. Russia wasn't…

"Russia-san," was the only thing Estonia could say. He walked into the room, thinking only that he needed to console him, make everything better, but as he got close, Russia drew back.

"Russia-san, what's wrong?" Estonia was barely able to speak.

"Just stay away from me." Russia's voice was hard, but Estonia heard a strain.

"Russia-san, please, let me help you," he said. "I don't know what's wrong, but I promise I'll try to make it better. Please." Estonia walked up to Russia, and this time the other man didn't retreat. Not sure what to do, Estonia wrapped his arms around Russia. He was more than surprised when he felt Russia return the hug.

"You're not afraid of me?" he asked, his voice small and scared. Estonia drew back, holding Russia at arm's length.

"Of course not. Where did you get such an idea?" He decided to conveniently forget his behavior previous to the last month. Russia shrugged and averted his eyes.

"Poland said-"

"Poland? When did you talk to Poland?"

"He was at the meeting. Germany attacked him, so he sat in on it. He said that you guys were afraid of me." Tears had sprung up in Russia's eyes again. Estonia smiled sadly.

"He was just trying to hurt you. I'm not afraid of you, see?" He nearly jumped when Russia cupped his hand around his jaw.

"Then why is your heart racing?" the other man said skeptically. Estonia's answer slipped out of his mouth before he was able to stop it.

"Because I'm in love with you."

Both men froze.

"Wh-what?" Russia stammered. Estonia laughed nervously.

"Ah, wh-what I meant to say…What I mean is…" Estonia sighed, looking at the floor. "No. I meant what I said." He looked Russia in the eyes. "Russia, I'm in love with you."

"L-love?"

"Yes." Estonia could feel his heart burning, turning to ash. He only hoped it would burn the rest of him too. He had read about unrequited love, but he never expected rejection to hurt this bad. He ducked his head, and turned to walk out the door, when Russia caught his arm, pulling his into an embrace. They locked eyes, for a moment, then Russia leaned in, pressing his lips to Estonia's in the most innocent touch of lips to lips. For a moment, Estonia had to remember how to breathe.

"You do that to people you love, right?" Russia asked. Estonia smiled, feeling tears run down his cheeks.

"Yes, Russia, you do," he responded, and leaned up to kiss him again. This time, the kiss went deeper, passionate but soft, and both men were hesitant to pull away.

"I'm tired Estonia," Russia said, breathless, as they finally pulled away. Estonia nodded. He was exhausted. Keeping in such a secret for so long had really taken its toll.

"Then let's go to bed," he said. "Is it alright for me to stay in here?" Russia smiled.

"Of course."

o0o

Estonia woke early the next morning, warmly tangled in Russia's arms. He was hard pressed to think of a place he'd rather be.

o0o

Bleh. So basically I threw up on my keyboard, and this is what I got. I'm not gonna edit it, so excuse typos and such. Anyway, thank you for reading/favoriting/reviewing. And special thanks to those of you who kicked my sorry ass into actually writing this. (Here's looking at you Shar, love ya buddy!) Any way, good night. :3