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Feathertail:

When we first set eyes on each other, there was a spark.

He was an apprentice, and I was a newly-made warrior, still too young to even consider falling for a tom.

I was surrounded in a fog of bliss. My brother cared, my father as well, and that was enough love for me.

And I was perfect. Every cat looked at me and envied what I was. Beautiful, strong, talented, friendly, adored. No one ever pressured me to be better than I was, but still I promised I would be the best to myself. If I really wanted to be perfect, then I had to work for it.

When I was chosen to be part of the prophecy, I was elated. Not only was I perfect, but I was chosen by StarClan. How much better could you get?

Still, I wanted more. Stormfur didn't understand when I told him this.

"You're already pushing yourself too far, Feathertail. You can't get any more perfect without exploding!"

So, what was I missing? I had everything; looks, grace, strength, intelligence, skill at fishing, fighting, friends, a loving brother, the most beautiful mother in StarClan, and my father, who was a powerful warrior in ThunderClan.

I was missing something, but what?

But then, there was him. He was grumpy, sarcastic, and slightly snobby, but clever and inside, he cared. He believed the sun rose for him. But he could make it rise for you as well. You either disliked him or loved him.

Unfortunately, in my case, I fell head over paws for him.

He was the thing that had been missing, but now it wasn't making me any more perfect. Feathertail, the sleek, silver warrior, had fallen in love with a grumpy gray apprentice? I didn't know what to do; I wanted to be perfect, but I loved him. Having a mate was the missing thing in my life, and he was the only cat that could fit. But he wasn't perfect – in fact, he was far from perfect.

Although handsome, my mother would have warned me away from him. If she had said that, she would have been right.

How was I to feel when I died?

Cheated? Yes, I felt cheated. I still had my whole life in front of me, and here I was already, walking the starry trail into the sky. StarClan cheated me.

And I couldn't help thinking of the other connotations of "cheating", you know.

You can't cheat on someone after they're dead, I told myself. So he could go and love whomever he wanted, and I would pretend not to care. Like I was capable of breathing without him.

I told myself it had only been a young-warrior romance, almost an apprentice crush. I told myself that that was how he thought of me; his first love, young, pretty, and naive. I wished that we had had more time, more life to live. Maybe we could have grown up.

But how quickly he had forgotten me. Just added my name to his own, and then thought the debt was repaid; he was free to find another mate.

Leafpool was a lovely cat; I had no problem with her. I just wished it was me running away with him, instead of the forest medicine cat. The mousebrained tom couldn't even find love in his own Clan, so he had to go to the neighboring Clans. If he had bothered looking he would have found the black she-cat Nightcloud.

He only found that long after he should have, and used it to cover up that he had loved in ThunderClan.

How does it feel to watch a cat you knew as an apprentice grow up without you?

Maybe he will die and join me, I thought selfishly. I had, for the most part, believed that I would always be the older cat, wiser and more knowledgeable.

He saved my life a few times, truthfully. He was brave, even as an apprentice. He felt so bad, when I died. He felt that he could have saved me once again.

He was the only one on the trip that didn't have anybody. I had Stormfur. Brambleclaw had Squirrelflight and Tawnypelt. He was alone, so I became his anybody.

It was sad that Stormfur didn't agree with our relationship. No other cat than me could see past his grumpiness and find his soft side, the gentle side. It was there, even though it took some digging to find.

I loved him so much, even past the end.

-And now he's dying. I can see the ragged breath rising and falling in his rough gray chest. He snaps at the medicine cat, he growls at the passing clanmates. He will come here soon, to StarClan.

I've been preparing for this day ever since I died, and I still think I am not ready. In some ways I wish code-breakers weren't allowed here; they should be sent to the Dark Forest. I wouldn't have to see his muzzle.

Maybe I will flee to the Tribe of Endless Hunting.

I don't know who he loves now; I don't even know if he knows who he loves.

I wonder who will be sent to fetch him when he dies. Will they choose me? If they do, I wish not to go. I still love him more than anything in the world. That is my reason. If he wishes to be with Leafpool or Nightcloud, I will certainly let him. I will not limit his options by being the first of his mates to be dead with him.

His eyes close as he tries to explain to Nightcloud his feelings for her. The stupid gray furball can't even say a simple "I love you"; he's too proud to lie – Even if it would heal the poor she-cat's wounds that he scratched into her.

"Are you going to fetch him?" Silverstream, my mother, asks. She is about the same age as I am now, so acts more like my friend then my guidance.

I pause, watching him take his final breaths. "No."

"But the poor tom has no one but you."

"I can't be with him now."

"But… Don't you love him?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then why…?"

He gasps and fades. Here he comes, but I won't be waiting.

"Because sometimes, if you love him, you let him go."

You see where this is going... Anyway, please review.