Spectre

by ghikiJ

How does one kill fear? How does one embrace a shadow? Just how does one deliver a letter written with tears to a recipient bathed in blood? "Are you there?" The fiend smiled brokenly. "No, it is you I fear who doesn't exist." AU. Collab with Athyra.

3. II: Vere Et Autumno

This story's chapters just seem to grow longer and longer, and the longer they get, the harder they are to beta and edit. This chapter is a couple thousand words longer than the previous one so bear with us. In any case, enjoy.

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II. Vere Et Autumno

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"Miss Ui," Azusa's firm voice snapped the brunette out of her trance. Miss Ui blinked perplexingly as if she just heard a foreign word.

They stared at each other like how two passing felines would, gauging the other's reaction and deciphering what the appropriate action should be. Wary but unwavering carnelian bore into frightened, uncertain umber. The horned woman's eyes then flickered to the dusty floor moments later, unable to endure such a piercing gaze for so long.

Azusa swallowed uneasily and breathed in a steady rhythm to aid her spinning mind in piecing together all the available clues about Miss Ui so far. Judging from the condition of this decrepit room, it was easy to conclude that this brunette had not had any human contact for a very long time.

The courier recalled how the brunette said that names were only for humans and wondered if Miss Ui saw herself as something less than human. Azusa's jaw muscles tightened at the thought of the horned woman attacking and even eating another person, and pushed it to the back of her mind. Perhaps it was just hunger that drove the brunette's cognizance into the brink of monstrous insanity. Maybe, just maybe, if the courier distracted Miss Ui with food, the brunette might not regress back into that creature she fought earlier. Her jaw muscles loosened a bit, for she liked how her mind was rationalizing this phenomenon. It gave her foundation to base her thoughts on, so her professional mindset could easily push aside her near-death encounter as a separate event caused by that hungry beast. Now, Azusa needed to speak to this Miss Ui like they just met for the first time.

However, the courier could not treat the brunette as a simple addressee either. Azusa's instinct was telling her to delay the delivery until everything was absolutely clear. Miss Ui…and the recipient of the letter, Miss Yui. Perhaps there was a mix-up, since their names only differed by one letter after all. Or was the address itself wrong? Azusa did not know this area well, but there could be other mansions nearby. If she recalled correctly, the lady with the parasol said she was a neighbor. Frowning, Azusa tried to remember more about the conversation they had, yet the ache in her wounds proved to be distracting. Now that she saw Miss Ui under proper lighting, she decided there was a bit of resemblance between Miss Ui and the lady she met in the forest. Then again, the courier saw so many faces throughout her career that they tend to blur together, making everything indistinguishable. Perhaps she was just overthinking.

Azusa sighed quietly as if the simple movement would stop her mind from straying. She must focus on how to treat the brunette. The courier was surprised and rather dismayed that she had no idea how to interact with someone who she was not supposed to treat professionally. She dug through the recesses of her mind and tried to recall instances when she dealt with people outside of the category. Through blurry images, she managed to group these people as her boss, her only friend, a few people from the town she lived in and some nobles, like the lady. None of those categories was suitable for Miss Ui.

The brunette did not seem keen on starting any conversation either. Miss Ui looked like she might bolt out of the room any second, like a targeted woodland critter. She could not understand why Miss Ui would be scared of someone like her. She was shorter than the brunette, and she was practically defenseless so should the beast persona return, she would not be able to fight back. Unlike the time on the stairs, Azusa did not have any energy left. Her entire body ached so much that she was barely able to remain upright at all.

Is it…the way I talk? Azusa's one and only friend always reprimanded her for her unfriendly demeanor. If the courier was right about her deduction of Miss Ui having the mindset similar to a wild creature approached by humanity for the first time, it would seem reasonable that the brunette would be afraid of someone like Azusa.

Even then, why should she be scared? If it was me, I would- no, don't go there, Azusa bit her lips hard but she could not stop a sudden image assaulting her detached consciousness.

She could still see an expressionless girl staring back at her from the mirror, distaste apparent in those weary carnelian eyes as they glanced over the burdensome frills and laces accompanying her dark red dress. Azusa could still hear the buzzing in her mind as she walked out of her room and hurried down the hallway gracelessly. She deliberately paced her steps so loud clatters of her shoes would fill up the silence in the vast yet empty mansion. She still remembered how she timidly opened the grand double doors and poked her head out expectantly yet despairingly, for her rational mind already told her that no one would be coming home.

The courier sighed and closed her eyes, effectively terminating the painful flashback. It was foolish of her to think that her younger self and Miss Ui were the same. Unlike her, the brunette was not waiting for anyone to return to this mansion, was she? Even then, the wait would be in vain. For Azusa, her parents' deaths brought certain finality; she knew they would not return. She knew little about the brunette but seeing how abandoned this whole place looked, no one would be returning to her either.

Perhaps the horned woman really was waiting for someone but Azusa's unexpected visit crushed that hope. Putting aside that beastly persona, the courier had attacked the woman even though it was in self-defense. This Miss Ui persona must remember the events somewhat so the fear and wariness remained.

Azusa took a deep breath again. This was not going anywhere.

"A-are you alright? O-of course you're not, y-you're still hurt after a-all…"

Miss Ui's anxious stutter helped Azusa make up her mind about treating the flighty woman as a client. In spite of the brunette's obvious unease, she did not leave the courier's side. Miss Ui kept glancing at Azusa's wounds with such concern in those bright, teary eyes that the messenger felt the instinctive need to reassure her.

"I'm fine. I don't have any bandages in my bag but it's okay," Azusa then slowly reached over to reclaim her bag and as she did so, Miss Ui grimaced and looked away. The courier noticed the horned woman was trying to hide her nose the best she could because she probably smelled the blood from Azusa's wounds.

"How about you, Miss Ui? Your…head and your hand…are you alright?"

"My head and hand?" The brunette sounded so confused for a few moments. Blinking, she slowly lifted her hand as if she just noticed her own injury. "Oh, yes, I'm fine, thanks for asking, I-I'm okay, I-I don't really feel it, really…um," she quickly backed away until her back softly hit the couch opposite of the one Azusa was lying on.

How was that possible? Her hand was impaled! The way she wrapped her hand looked like her injury was merely a scratch, not a stab. There was also some blood visible on her temple yet she did not seem to be bothered by it. What was going on?

"Y-you said you are a courier," Miss Ui muttered weakly and interrupted Azusa's thoughts. It was obvious she was trying to distract her mind away from focusing on the messenger's blood, "what were you going to give me?"

"You don't remember?" Even with the brunette's abrupt transformation in personality, Azusa was certain Miss Ui would remember the reason why she was there.

"I do…I think. I'm not too sure though," Miss Ui frowned and shook her head, "My memory is hazy but…it's a letter, isn't it? Is it for me?"

Azusa replied quickly, "Ah, no. P-perhaps there was a mistake, wrong address or something. I will check with the office." Until she found out more about the sender and the recipient, Azusa would not tell Miss Ui more about the letter in case it set off the horned woman again.

"I-I see…yes, you must go back to your office, wherever you came from," Miss Ui's voice grew firmer with each word, "I-I don't have any provisions to treat your wound properly so it's best that you leave when it's still bright out."

"You're right," Azusa dusted herself and carefully put the strap of her bag on her good shoulder. She must get this matter sorted out as soon as possible, and it was better for both parties that she did not linger anymore. She used the couch for support as she painstakingly stood up. A sudden wave of dizziness almost made her collapse but a pair of warm arms caught her before her knees gave away.

"Y-you are still unwell! M-maybe I should, um, accompany you…" Miss Ui trailed off nervously. It was evident she did not like the idea of leaving the mansion and that she did not want to be in contact with the courier. However, the proximity allowed Azusa to feel genuine concern from the brunette, whose hands were shaking as she fought so hard against her instinct to help the courier.

Once Miss Ui was certain Azusa could stand up straight, she quickly backed away to put a comfortable distance between them. The courier seemed unaffected but she was truly baffled by the brunette's fear. Azusa should be the one scared, not Miss Ui.

Sighing, the courier decided to just make things easier for the two of them. "That's alright, I'll be fine by myself. It's only a few hours walk back to town. I can make it. Look, the injury is not bleeding anymore," Azusa paused, irritated by the prickling sensation from the bite mark on her shoulder. However, the dull ache reminded her of the brunette's predicament of how this place lacked real food. "Once the wounds are treated, I will return."

"W-what did you say-? W-why? Shouldn't you s-stay away?" Though bewildered, the horned woman finally turned to look at Azusa, as if to make sure she was not hearing things.

Miss Ui's inhuman actions were caused by hunger, a kind of pain the courier could not comprehend. She never had trouble obtaining food to fill her stomach, especially when she still lived in her mansion. But if such torment could drive someone who seemed as timid as the brunette insane, Azusa decided she should do everything she could to help the brunette. The courier knew her conscience would not allow that, so she must do the right thing.

"You said you are hungry, aren't you? I don't have a lot of food with me but," Azusa pulled out her rations from her bag, "I want you to have them. You must have seen them when you were looking for bandages yet you didn't take them."

"I did see them but-"

"Well, I am not hungry and I'll be returning to the town anyways."

"O-oh I c-can't possibly accept the food-"

"I'm doing this because I want to, okay?" Azusa grabbed the flighty woman's hand before she could leap out of reach. Miss Ui cowered and lowered her head, eyes clenched shut in terror as if she was going to get hit. The courier inwardly reprimanded herself for such an abrupt movement but she did not loosen her grip. Instead, her hand tightened encouragingly around the brunette's thin wrist until the shivering stopped.

"Here, take it," Azusa said firmly, stuffing the sack of rations into Miss Ui's arms. Large, innocent eyes blinked quizzically at the black-haired woman.

"Are you sure? I-I don't want to-"

"This is my food, so I get to decide what to do with it," Azusa patted the back of Miss Ui's hand reassuringly and was pleased that the latter did not jump, "And I've decided to give it to you. I will come back with more food…I mean," the courier had to look away from Miss Ui's puzzled yet hopeful expression for she was uncomfortable with the sheer gratitude on the brunette's features. "I need to find out more about this…address mix-up anyway so I will return bearing more information about this matter."

Those beautiful yet sorrowful umber orbs were stained with water as they glanced back and forth between the pouch and the wrapping around the courier's shoulder. Azusa was intrigued by Miss Ui's rather child-like mannerism. The brunette acted so much younger than she looked yet, at the same time, an imperceptible aura of ancient wisdom surrounded her.

Those tears were merely outlet for such clashing juxtaposition.

Azusa could not completely discern the emotions contained within those droplets but she could certainly empathize, especially with the one thing that made her feel close to Miss Ui in spite of everything.

Loneliness.

The conflicting childish innocence and sophisticated intelligence cried out Miss Ui's abandonment. Within the depth of this seemingly deserted mansion, the horned woman was confined to solitude with nothing that defined time. For Azusa, there was no sense of time either. She was trapped in her own world, accompanied by a void that used to be filled with memories.

During this brief moment their eyes met, the courier felt she understood the brunette.

Though her fear was still apparent, Miss Ui raised her bound and trembling hand towards the courier. Azusa watched in mild alarm due to instinctual reflex, but immediately subdued her barely noticeable flinch when the horned woman's hand stopped in midair. The courier swallowed slowly and inaudibly as the brunette gathered her courage to reach out to touch Azusa's injured shoulder. The gesture was tentative, fearful even, but she only felt an inexplicable serenity from the contact in spite of Miss Ui's quivering fingers and obvious claws.

"I am sorry…and thank you," the brunette's soft voice was thick with tears but a light smile finally graced her weary features.

Azusa felt something on her chest lifted. Perhaps Miss Ui was not scared of her. Rather, the brunette must have been uncertain how to treat her as well. They were not that different, Ui and Azusa. The courier was convinced that she could leave the brunette alone for some time before returning with more provision. Hopefully those rations would keep the beastly persona at bay.

Nodding, she slowly let go of Miss Ui's wrist and set her resolute gaze on the brunette. "I will be back with more food, okay?"

Miss Ui opened her mouth, possibly to decline the offer but instead she nodded almost shyly, "I'll wait for you then…A-Azusa."

The courier blinked, pleasantly surprised that the brunette finally called her name; and in such a soft, careful tone too, as if the syllables must be pronounced perfectly. Miss Ui appeared to be more relaxed around Azusa after speaking her name aloud. The self-conscious brunette then led the courier out of the mansion in relatively comfortable silence. Azusa tried her best not to let her eyes stray but all those dazzling paintings that hung along the hallways and that dusty yet magnificent chandelier up above their heads were calling for her attention.

Just what history did this mansion hold? Just what kind of people used to live here? Just…who was Miss Ui?

Obviously, because of those strange horns, Miss Ui could not leave the mansion even if she wanted to. Perhaps past scorn or rejection caused the brunette to lock herself here, far away from society. Azusa shook her head imperceptibly, unwilling to dwell upon it any longer. Curiosity notwithstanding, the courier had little desire to dig into someone's past. Personal matters should stay private. Walking through the large but empty manor reminded her more and more of her abandoned past. She must leave this place and gather her thoughts before returning, aside from the need to treat her wounds.

Her fatigue must be the reason why her memories resurfaced. At least everything appeared to be normal now. Despite of everything that happened, she could think that she was merely taking her leave after a delivery, and was returning to town. She took a deep breath and stepped out of the grand doors. She adjusted the bag's strap, mindful of her injury and tilted her head towards Miss Ui. The brunette stayed under the shadows of the entrance door, tentatively peeking behind the frame. Azusa pursed her lips, reminded of her younger self at this particular image yet she determinedly kept her gaze on the horned woman. It was all in the past. She should not be affected anymore.

Miss Ui waved back in small, stiff movements, showing her unfamiliarity with the gesture. Though hesitant, Azusa lifted her arm and waved back, feeling her inner self breaking through the courier's professional mask, and she found that she did not mind it at all. Miss Ui was trying to appear as friendly as possible, so Azusa felt compelled to return the favor.

"Be careful…"

Azusa was sure she did not imagine these words as she stepped onto the muddy path, where her footprints were still visible. The courier felt revitalized from those simple words as she began her long and grueling walk back to town. Yet by mid-afternoon, she realized that she overestimated her stamina and conditions because she had to take a lengthy break by the roadside. She almost dozed off against the tree, so exhausted that her limbs refused to cooperate. Now that she thought about it, she did not have a decent sleep since she first arrived at the mansion. The small naps she had were really fainting spells and did not count. Her shoulder felt so stiff that she was starting to lose sensations around the area. However, the emergency bandage rubbed against the raw skin every now and then, stinging her wound and reminding her that the bite mark refused to be overlooked.

Azusa was thankful that she was travelling in broad daylight though, so she did not have to look out for wild animals. She knew she did not smell pleasant, covered in mud and that bitter tang of blood but she did not care. All she wanted to do was get her wounds treated, obtain the food and go back to Miss Ui as soon as possible.

The way Miss Ui looked when I stepped out of the manor and walked down the path…she looked just like me back then. I…I can't disappoint her. I won't let her wait in vain. What if she faithfully keeps checking the door to see if I actually returned? The hypothetical scenario hastened Azusa's pace even though her muscles protested with each shaky step she took.

By the time the outlines of the town came into view, her clothes were already soaked in sweat and the sun had already retreated behind the horizon. I didn't know the town was that far. She panted and blinked rapidly to clear her blurring vision. I must hurry. Just a little bit further. She staggered through the less populated streets, but her bloodied appearance still attracted a lot of attention and murmurs immediately floated about her. She paid no heed though as she trudged on towards her destination.

"What happened to you?"

She staggered into the clinic and slumped down on the seat, silent. The town's doctor let out a disgruntled groan, carefully peeling the wet fabric off the shoulder wound. It was not the first time Azusa had gone to this stern but maternal doctor to treat her wounds. Of course, the young courier never had injuries as severe as this one but at least both parties were used to this process. The doctor would berate her for taking up a job meant for men and Azusa would just retort by saying her courier friend was a woman too and that the doctor was in no position to say that either.

The bespectacled doctor rolled her eyes, "yes, Azusa, we've had this conversation many times. I'm a doctor, true, but I don't travel through the wilderness like you."

Before Azusa could retort, the doctor breezily continued her reprimand, "A courier should have good stamina, like your friend. Also, she's never come here covered in scrapes and scratches, has she? She knew how to take care of herself."

"I can take of myself! I just happen to run into-" Azusa hissed loudly as the doctor began to clean the bite marks on her shoulder and the scabs on her arm. The older woman frowned because the courier never voiced her pain before, meaning the injuries were more severe than they appear.

"What did you run into?"

"Yeah, what did you run into, Azu- oh god, what happened to you?"

Azusa did not even bother to turn her head to face the newcomer. "It's nothing, Jun. How did you find me so quickly though?"

"It's easy. I just listen to people gossiping. Geez, with the way they were talking, I thought you were practically dragging your carcass here! I didn't believe them but now, look at you! You're coming over to my place after the doctor is done stitching that nasty wound. I'm expecting a full explanation, missy."

Azusa finally turned around and gave her friend a deadpanned glare. The russet-haired woman scowled back, arms folded just as stubbornly.

"…no, I need to leave soon."

"No you aren't, Azusa," the doctor cleared her throat and pulled hard as she wrapped the wound, making the smaller woman wince. "You must rest until you are well enough to travel again."

"Yeah, Doc's right. You were just delivering a letter! What's going to happen when you deliver something bigger next time?"

"Are you saying I'm not good enough?" The black-haired woman flared and stood up abruptly, causing another dizzy spell to grip her mind.

"Whoa, easy there. That's not what I meant," Jun steadied her friend with an exasperated sigh, "I'm just saying you need to rest before you can continue the job, silly. You need to sleep and you know it. You look absolutely pooped!"

Azusa bit back her retort knowing her friend was right. She supposed she could nap for a few hours and wake up really early to travel back to the mansion. At this rate, she would probably collapse on the road anyways.

"Fine, I'll take a break for a few hours-"

"Alright!" Jun noticed the doctor had finished bandaging her friend's wound. She practically shouldered the smaller woman, who was too tired to fight back. Thanks for patching up Azusa here as usual, Doc!"

"No problem. Bring Azusa back if she shows signs of a fever. Injuries like that are usually followed by severe illness, especially bites from wild animals. I want her here as soon as possible if that happens."

"Gotcha," Jun mock-glared at black-haired woman, "I'll be watching you."

"Whatever," Azusa muttered in annoyance as she plotted her escape. Jun narrowed her eyes and pulled her out of the clinic. The doctor only smiled and waved.

Azusa allowed her friend to drag her back to the taller woman's home near the couriers' office. She stared nostalgically at the small but homely building, which seemed to welcome her return with its presence alone. It looked so plain with its grey exterior and simple windows. However, it was the most stable presence in her life, a ubiquitous landmark that always waited and welcomed her return.

Time passed by so fast yet some things remained timeless under such relentless tides.

After Jun opened the door, she did not guide Azusa towards the couch as expected. "What, I'm not going to let you sit down when you're still covered in mud and stuff. You stink! Go take a bath. Come on, I'll help you."

Reluctantly, Azusa allowed her friend to steer her towards the bathroom. She did feel slightly cold, possibly from the fatigue, so a warm bath did not seem like a terrible idea. She just needed to hurry and leave as soon as possible. Jun was uncharacteristically careful as she helped the black-haired woman undress, muttering something about troublesome and stubborn girls.

Instead of being offended, Azusa was amused as she shook her head at her friend's grumbles. When the smaller woman slipped into the bathtub filled with warm water, she finally noticed how dirty she really was.

"You look like a war survivor or something," Jun chuckled and brushed through Azusa's now unbounded tresses to untangle the knots. "You even have blood in your hair! You didn't get hurt on your head, did you?"

"Maybe." Azusa vaguely recalled that she was pushed against the iron door of the dungeons, so perhaps she got tiny scratches from that ordeal, or it could be from the stairs after she was tripped and almost devoured. The courier was amazed at her own conviction to return to the mansion after everything she went through. Then again, Azusa told herself firmly, I'm going back there for Miss Ui, not that monster. She is there all alone, without food, and I've already promised I would return.

"Maybe? Geez, we're not talking about some other person here. We're talking about you, Azusa, yet you act like you don't even care that you were hurt," Jun grabbed a towel and wrapped the smaller woman's hair up in a makeshift bun, "I'm sure you can feel the pain."

"I do. I'm not immune to it," Azusa mumbled monotonously.

"Then act like it!" Jun dabbed at the areas around the bandages with extreme care even though her voice was rising in volume, "It's not about that anymore. You…you're always so far away from us, Azusa…so cold. Sometimes I don't even feel like you're there… sometimes you come back to town without telling us that you returned and you disappear before we could find you. It's like you don't want to be found…and as if whatever happens in the world has nothing to do with you."

The black-haired woman carefully regarded her friend before speaking, "…I do apologize for not telling you and your father. You're right, it's quite rude of me. But I don't see anything wrong with the way I handle my job. I'm a true messenger," Azusa shrugged indifferently, "It's not like I'm doing it on purpose."

"Sure," her friend's voice was filled with doubt, "I don't know about your clients and other people, but your poker face can be quite scary, y'know. I'm not forcing you to smile but at least try to relax. You love your job, don't you?"

Scary. Azusa frowned and her shoulders drooped imperceptibly. Miss Ui…was scared of me. Is Jun right?

"Uh…hey, you alright there? Where's your usual retort?" Jun laughed forcefully, "Don't take it too seriously, I was just joking."

"No, you're right Jun. I really can't…I don't know how to-" Her ears reddened when her soft voice broke feebly.

"Geez Azusa, don't think like that. Forget what I said, alright?"

Azusa felt her chest was leaden with the weight of uncertainty even as her friend patted her back soothingly. As a count's daughter, the black-haired woman had always been distant from the others and kept to herself, determined to be the perfect lady her mother would be proud of. Yet her mindset continued to shape her outlook on the world around her, even though she was a courier now. Azusa chewed on her lip, distraught. She never thought about this but it was ironic, wasn't it? She was a messenger who was unable to convey her own feelings.

Maybe Miss Ui was not the first one to be frightened of Azusa. Nevertheless, years went by without her truly having any memories. She was just an observer, for time had stopped the moment her parents died. Nothing mattered much anymore. Whatever pieces she could remember were all in disorganized fragments, forsaken and insignificant.

"Come on, you don't have to smile for me. At least give me your usual glare," Jun suddenly pinched Azusa's cheek, earning a hitched yelp from the latter. The taller woman merely grinned at the corresponding scowl.

"Much better. Those are the eyes I want to see. It reminds me of how we first met, actually. Don't you remember?"

Azusa nodded slowly, uncertain why her friend was bringing this up now. The shorter courier searched through her mind before it could close up and ignored the ache in her chest. She faintly recalled the day her family's carriage almost crashed into an overturned one in the middle of an intersection. While her parents dealt with the drivers responsible for the road block, she hopped down from her seat to observe the surroundings in mild interest. There were all sorts of items scattered around the upturned carriage, and just as she was about to pick up a letter out of inquisitiveness, a dirty hand snatched it out of her grasp.

"You had same expression even back then," Jun smirked at Azusa's glower, "All I could think about when I met you was – what's with this stuck-up rich girl?"

"You didn't just think, Jun, you said it to me while you shook your fist," the black-haired woman muttered, deadpanned.

"Oh did I? Good, you do remember! But even so, you were nice too, Azusa, even though you didn't show it," Jun placed a large towel on the edge of the bathtub, chuckling as she continued to reminisce, "After our initial…argument, you gave me your handkerchief so I could clean off the smears on my cheek. Hmm, you were probably revolted by my dirty appearance instead of helping me out of kindness. But that's okay. Even then, it was something no other rich kids would do. So I guess what I'm trying to say is… you are you, Azusa, and you're a nice person."

The black-haired woman remained silent as she wiped her body with her friend's help, mindful of the bandages around her shoulder and arm. But she did not need to talk. Words were not necessary for they understood each other somehow.

She still remembered the first time she came to this town, lost but with conviction in mind. She studied so hard as an apprentice under Jun's father, just so she could become a full-fledged courier. The old man did not like the idea of Azusa journeying by herself but fortunately, he relented under Jun's unyielding persuasion. Even though it was uncommon for women to do such jobs, people did not really care what the lower class people did, so Jun and Azusa were able to carry out their deliveries without any problems.

To Azusa, there was no difference between the higher and the lower classes. They were all people. They laugh, they live, and they…die. She did not regret leaving her home, she never did. She got to ensure items were delivered properly and she was able to look at the world with her own eyes. It was incredibly fulfilling.

Once Azusa was dressed up in a simple button-up shirt and trousers, Jun folded her arms dramatically, "Okay, all cleaned. Now, aren't you gonna tell me how you got that wound? It looked really nasty. What the heck bit you?" She grimaced and dumped the courier's ruined coat on top of a pile of dirty clothes, even though the trench coat was no longer salvageable.

"Oh…it's just a …mountain lynx," Azusa replied distractedly, slowly moving her bad arm up and down to test it.

"Seriously? I thought those are just rumors!"

"Rumors? I never paid attention to them," Azusa sat down at the table, drained. Jun grinned and went to the pantry to grab some food, tossing an apple to the courier.

The black-haired woman stared at the red fruit hesitantly before taking a deep bite, smiling inwardly at the sweet taste. It was only then she noticed how hungry she was. "Mind telling me more about the manor, Jun?"

"The manor huh? That's the place you went to deliver your letter right?" Jun slumped down in front of her friend, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Well, even as someone who was born and raised in this town, I don't know much about that place. I only know that it was once inhabited by some wealthy aristocrats who prefer to keep away from the rest of society. Who knows how rich people think, right? Ah, no offense, Azusa."

"…non-taken. I'm not those people anymore," Azusa calmly bit into the apple.

Jun scratched her cheek uneasily but continued, "Anyways, so no one really knows much about the people living there. I think the count has a daughter? Two daughters? Sons? Er, yeah, we really don't know much because people never go there. Servants used to come into town to purchase commodities before, and that's basically how we knew people even lived there. They probably go to the bigger cities to buy stuff now."

No, the place is deserted except for one person, Jun, Azusa put away the apple core and went to sit on the couch, sighing in pleasure when her sore muscles sunk into the soft cushions.

"No one ever checked?"

"Well, rumors have it that there are mountain lynxes or wild dogs prowling out there. And I heard this from my dad a few years ago," Jun dropped her voice to a low whisper, intending to create the creepy effect, "there was someone who used to work here before you came, Azusa. She was a senior courier, someone I admired very much because she was the first female messenger to ever work for our company! Um, yeah, so she was supposed to go past the mansion to get to her destination. Well, she never came back."

Azusa swallowed, ignoring the goosebumps crawling up her spine, "and no one ever went to check her whereabouts?" Don't tell me Miss Ui attacked her…

"Well, we figured she just eloped because she did travel with her lover," Jun shrugged, "Besides the recipient actually sent us words of gratitude so the cargo must have been delivered successfully. All was well."

"I see," Azusa yawned and leaned into the backrest, glancing at the large bright circle dotting the dark canvas outside. "So there is no way for me to check if this letter's address is written correctly? Who requested to have it sent? I just picked it up along with the rest of the letters…"

"I don't know. I'm sure the sender dropped it off in the bin outside of our office and left. As for the address problem…well, Dad won't be back from his business trip for a few weeks but he might know something," Jun shrugged and stared at the black-haired woman appraisingly, "You've been travelling all over the place for the past few months, you deserve like, a vacation or something. Why don't you just take some time off? I'm sure Dad would want to see you and make sure you're okay."

"No, I've already made a promise to the woman living at the mansion that I'd get this matter sorted out."

"Oh? So you did get to meet the resident! What's she like?" Jun flopped down on the seat beside Azusa. The black-haired woman gulped and chose her words carefully. She did not want to lie to her only friend but she did not want to tell her about Miss Ui either. It would just invite too many questions she did not have answers to.

"She…she's really nice," telling half-truths seemed to come easily to the courier, "I was actually attacked by the lynx prowling in their forest and she saved me. She tried to treat my wound but I told her I'd take care of it myself."

"Geez, Azusa, you're so reckless and I thought you're the rational one! But why couldn't she just get one of their fancy carriages to send you back here instead of letting you walk back? What if you died trying to walk back here?"

Azusa's expression turned stony. "You know I dislike carriages, Jun. I declined her offer to accompany me."

"Right," Jun laughed nervously, "I haven't seen you in a while and I just keep saying the wrong things! Well, I think I should go back to the office to finish up on some things. How do you feel? Lightheaded? Does your wound still hurt?"

"It feels numb now and I guess I'm just tired. You're right. I should take a nap," Azusa slumped down on the couch, sighing deeply.

"Good good. I'll be back soon, so don't you dare leave without telling me! "Jun grinned and ruffled her hair before walking out of the door. The black-haired woman sighed and turned towards the window, carnelian eyes searching for the moon sleepily.

It looked so different back then when she was sprawled on the cold forest floor. The moon appeared serene now, almost benevolent, compared to its pitiless glow through the forest's canopy the night before. Strangely, it reminded her of the lady whose smile seemed to be the epitome of innocence. Azusa wondered if she should warn the lady if they ever meet again. Miss Ui might be harmless, but what if it was the monster who encountered the woman with the parasol? Clad in that elegant dress, she would be caught within seconds.

No, Azusa would not let that happen. She must return to the mansion with food as soon as possible. Her eyes drifted close as an overwhelming wave of exhaustion consumed her mind.

Miss Ui…how long has she lived there by herself…? Where is her family?

What happened to her?

---

"Miss, your friend is here."

"Alright. Let her in."

She nodded at the butler, who bowed and excused himself to open the gates. She set down the quill and slowly closed the tiny book she was scribbling in. Her eyes dimmed as she caressed the plain cover in contemplative circles. Sighing, she pulled the mahogany knob of her drawer and placed the small booklet in the middle of the empty space within so it would be immediately noticeable should anyone attempt to open it. Her expression was blank when she closed it with an audible thud.

There. It was final.

The black-haired girl licked her parched lips and sat there for a while, as if giving her room a respectful moment of silence. Uncomfortable with how stifling her room felt, she slowly stood up and walked out onto the balcony. The cool autumn breeze brushed by her lustrous tresses as she rested her hand on the intricately designed balustrade. She gazed at the land below her with a withdrawn smile that disappeared soon after. Dull carnelian flickered away from a garden filled with purple tulips, daisies and hibiscus, unable to stare at a memoire of her mother any longer. She could not bear to look at anything from her family's vast estate because it threatened to shatter the composure she carefully built up these past few weeks. She gripped the alabaster railing and switched her view to the colorful forest beyond this land. The shedding trees and calming sways of the branches seemed to invite her to join their quiet symphony. She could see the peace and comfort they offered.

She chose her path. She would not stray anymore.

"Azusa."

The girl tilted her head in greeting and settled her gaze on her friend, who was looking up at her with an uneasy yet understanding smile. Time resumed its tireless pace and coaxed the black-haired girl out of her musings.

Azusa glanced at the monochromatic scenery around her one last time before stepping back into the darkness of her room. She stared at the mirror beside her bed and was surprised at how much she stood out from the shadowy colors of the outside world. Shaking her head, she carefully undid the ribbons and laces in a pace that allowed her to appreciate the delicate art one last time. She stared at the velvety fabric in her hand and thought about how meaningless and insignificant it appeared yet, without it, her extravagant dress could not be worn. Her hand clenched around the frills as she slipped the rich red silk off her pale shoulders. She placed the superficial clothes on her bed and grabbed the shabby trench coat beside it. Dainty fingers ran up the coarse texture, marveling at how real and pretty its earthly hue appeared compared to the unnatural vibrant color of the dress.

She pulled the rough coat around her petite frame and was surprised at how heavy the simplistic material was. Nodding, she stared at her reflection on the grand mirror, pleased at how inconspicuous she looked. A sparkle glinted from beneath her raven tresses, bringing a frown to her otherwise emotionless face. Immediately, she removed her blue diamond earrings and lightly tossed them onto the bed, uncaring of where they landed. She had no need for such things, she never did.

Azusa brushed her hair almost wistfully, uncertain about its fate. Her mother had such long, beautiful hair but that seemed unimportant now. Her hand trembled as she reached for a pair of scissors on the nightstand yet her fingers paused inches away from the metal handle. A frustrated hiss left her lips as she grabbed a piece of string instead and swiftly tied up her long hair in a high ponytail.

She did not even bother to fix her bangs as she pulled up greyish pants around her waist and attempted to secure brown boots around her feet, unfamiliar with how they were supposed to be worn. However, she no longer cared. All she wanted to do was leave this place.

She ignored the shocked faces of her maids and servants as she briskly walked down the extensive hallway. Muffled sound of her boots against the carpet joined the frantic whispers around her. She continued to look straight ahead, indifferent to whatever their chatters might be about.

They could not stop her anyway.

By the time she reached the front door, she was already slightly out of breath. Jun was leaning against the wood with a bored look but upon Azusa's arrival, it changed into an astonished frown.

"I…I must look weird, don't I," the black-haired twirled a loose strand from her haphazardly tied up ponytail, feeling rather self-conscious to be seen out of her usual dress for the first time.

Jun blinked a few times and grinned, "Nope, you look pretty as always, Azusa. Now, let's go to your new home!"

The russet-haired girl hopped down the steps dramatically and held out her hand. Then, as if realizing something, she stuffed her hands in her pockets sheepishly, "right, you're not a countess anymore, haha. Well well," she deepened her voice playfully, "hurry up then, newbie!"

Azusa ignored how warm her cheeks felt and smiled at the back of her one and only friend. "Thank you, Jun."

"Huh? What did you say?"

"Nothing," Azusa replied steely and followed the other girl without looking back at the majestic mansion that used to be her home. The smile quickly faded as she passed by the garden that might be neglected after her departure. She could only hope that the new residents, whoever they may be, would care for the garden's flowers as carefully as she and her mother did.

As she passed by the gates, she noticed a familiar glint from the corner of her eyes. She whirled around hopefully yet all she saw was the steel reflecting the rays of the setting sun. She lowered her head sadly, albeit embittered at her childish silliness. Of course, she would not see the particular glimmer from her father's monocle whenever she ran to the gates to welcome him home. The more she tried to remember her parents' faces, the fuzzier they became. She grasped at one of the bars and rested her head against the cool metal. Her body shook with silent sobs as the finality of her decision crashed down on her unprepared shoulders.

"A-Azusa? H-hey w-what's the matter-?"

Long suppressed tears trickled down her clenched eyes as she tightened her grip around the bar. She was out of her home. She was standing on the other side of the threshold yet why couldn't she just let go?

Repulsed by her indecisiveness, she pushed herself away from the gates and marched past her bewildered friend. This would be the last time she would cry. She had a goal now. A courier had no need for things such as regret. She must be strong if she wished to become the person who can shoulder emotions between a sender and a recipient.

A pair of arms encircled her from the behind, halting her movements.

"Let me go!"

"Calm down, Azusa. It's only the first day…you barely left the place where you grew up! Come on, let it out. No one's watching. I am a co- well, I will become a courier too so I don't really count. To you, I'm just a shadow, right? Come on, stop being stubborn for once."

No matter how much she wanted to struggle, Azusa could not move away from her friend's comforting embrace as tears continued to stream down her face. This was fine, wasn't it? She would need to empty everything out before she could construct her mask of indifference. She needed to break before she could attempt to pick up the pieces.She slumped back and allowed her repressed emotions to reign freely one last time.

"Yeah, don't keep it inside, Azusa, let it out…"

Azusa blinked sluggishly, her cheeks burning with feverish heat and her eyes stung from the continuous flow of tears. Her head was painfully heavy and her body ached all over. How long did she stand there crying in her friend's arms? As numb as her body felt, she could not mistake the encouraging grip of Jun's hand on hers.

No, she was not standing outside of her former residence anymore. She was lying on a bed and someone was dabbing at her shoulder with something cool. A feeble gasp left her throat when stabbing pain drowned all the remaining senses at her shoulder. Yet in spite of the agony, the fog refused to lift from her consciousness. Why did she feel so weak? What was going on?

"Doc! What's happening? Is this the fever you warned us about?"

"Yes, I was afraid of this. It would take a few days for a person to recover but …"

"But what? Are you saying she can't? Come on, she's stubborn! She'll pull through! It's Azusa!"

"You're right. I'm doing everything I can help her but the rest is up to her will."

Fever? Oh right, those bite marks. The beast was feasting on rat flesh before those fangs punctured her skin. That was why she could barely move. But no, she must go back. She must return to the brunette's mansion as soon as possible.

"Are you crazy? You were bitten! Now, look at you! You're sick and- no, you're not going back there!"

Azusa tried to protest but the haze in her mind clouded her consciousness before she could reply. She shuddered violently at the coldness travelling through her limbs even though her head burned fiercely. She desperately clung onto coherency because she did not know when she would be able to control her thoughts and body again. She needed to see Miss Ui. She promised that she would return. She refused to let the brunette wait in vain. Waiting in despair was one of the most terrible feelings a person could experience. She would not let the horned woman feel this way.

I'll see you soon, Miss Ui, just wait for me for a bit longer.

"Hehe, I'll see you soon. Just a little while longer."

Wait, who are you? And…why can't you see me now?

"I will bath you thoroughly to clean away all this sticky paint. Look at this pretty color! It's even richer than the one in our veins, isn't it?"

What are you talking about? What do you mean? Really, who are-

"Who a-are you?"

Red.

Vermillion, scarlet, crimson, maroon-

Auburn.

A bright smile.

A brunette with horns tilted her head, her lips curving upwards to reveal menacing fangs.

Azusa sat up with a terrified gasp and held a hand to her pounding heart. When her fingers made contact with the damp shirt, shaky whimpers replaced frantic gasps. She quickly held up her hand to inspect it because she was so certain it would be covered in that perpetual red.

To her great relief, her clothes were only soaked with sweat, not the thick liquid that drenched all of her being in the nightmare.

Nightmare?

How could it be, when everything felt so real? There was no up or down, no right or left, just an endless stretch of red. She saw something familiar, something that made her tremble in such utter terror that she had to claw herself back into the world of living. Combing her hair with clammy hands, Azusa took deep breaths to calm down and urged her mind to think rationally. No, she could not remember anything from that nightmare anymore, except for that disturbing red.

And a shade of brown she could not distinguish.

"What time is it?" She slowly got off the bed with tired muscles, wondering how long her delirium lasted. She looked around and was not surprised that she was in her friend's room. A brand-new trench coat was draped over a chair, beside a basin filled with diluted pink water. She did not need to look at the stained bandages to know what it was for. She touched the gauze on her shoulder and winced when the soft contact seemed to puncture her skin like needles. At least the condition of her injury told her she had not been unconscious for too long. Unease chewed away at her already flighty mind when she noticed the caliginous sky outside the building. She hastily changed into her uniform and walked out of her Jun's room in unsteady steps. Her skin still felt warm and lethargy claimed her limbs but she pressed on.

She had a delivery to carry out and a promise to keep.

"Jun! How long was it since I came back to town?"

"A-Azusa!"The russet-haired woman swallowed the soup with loud slurp and quickly set down the bowl of stew on the table. "You shouldn't be up! You haven't completely recovered yet, you-"

"I thought I told you I need to go back to the mansion!" Exasperated, the black-haired woman grabbed her bag from the couch. She appreciated her friend's concern but surely, the taller woman understood her reasons?

"I know that but," Jun stood next to Azusa and gently turned the latter so they were face to face, "You were attacked, Azusa, attacked! I've never seen so much blood yet…h-how could you…why would you want to go back there? What is so important that you'd risk your life again?"

Azusa frowned at her friend's troubled expression, the very same one that greeted her every morning during her first few weeks of living with Jun's family. The shorter woman's contemplative silence gave Jun the chance to continue.

"You had a terrible fever because of your wounds and…I…I haven't seen you so expressive for a long time," the taller woman scowled and stared into confused carnelian, her voice deep with determination, "I knew you were keeping everything inside again! This isn't healthy, Azusa. Like I said many times already, I thought I was the reckless one but you always act without thinking! If you go back, who knows what's going to happen? You were lucky last time. There are just so many things that can go wrong! What if you-"

"Jun."

The taller courier broke off her tirade but she held Azusa's fierce gaze. The two stared at each other, immovable and unwilling to relent.

"I made a promise Jun," Azusa broke the silence, her voice soft but firm, "and I'm not one to break promises. More importantly, I have to deliver the letter, and you know how I feel about this."

Jun sighed deeply and patted the shorter woman's head before turning away, "Fine, you can go…only if I can go with you."

"No!" Azusa's immediate response brought a suspicious frown on her friend's face.

"And why is that? Why don't you want me to go with you? You're still hurt and I'll damn make sure that you won't get injured again! If that lynx shows up again…well," Jun held up her fist, scowling resolutely, "I'll make a fur coat out of it!"

"Jun, I'm grateful for your gesture, really. But this is a special case," Azusa struggled to find the right words to convince the russet-haired courier without revealing too much. "The woman living at the mansion is really shy of strangers. It already took a lot for her to accept my presence last time. I will be fine, Jun."

Determined, she stared at her friend to see if her half-truth was working. A mixture of annoyance, concern and contemplation passed through Jun's expressive face.

"Please."

The russet-haired woman sighed loudly and scratched her head, irritated. She knew she could not win whenever Azusa had that determination in her eyes. "Alright alright!" She abruptly hugged the smaller woman, who froze upon contact. "Just… come back as soon as you're done, okay? You have other deliveries to make too, y'know. I'd make you rest a bit longer since you just woke up, and it's already past midnight! But you, stubborn Azusa, won't listen will you? You'll just sneak out even if I said no."

Azusa fidgeted uncomfortably, filled with guilt for making her friend worry so much. "I'm sorry, I…"

Jun pulled away and patted her head with a light laugh, "I was just teasing you. It's fine."

"Thanks Jun, for everything. I…you're right, I'm not good at expressing my emotions but-"

"Nah, I get it," Jun flashed a friendly grin as she sat back down at the table. "I've always … admired you, Azusa. You have your own principles and you follow them through, even though I don't agree with all of them. But hey, no right no wrong here. And I heard you loud and clear. This is just something you have to do and I guess it's not really my place to stop you. All I can do is help you, and I will do just that."

Azusa walked up to Jun and placed her hand on top of the other woman's, hoping to convey how much she appreciated her friend with this simple motion. Even though she could not bring herself to smile, not when the gesture was so foreign to her, she hoped that Jun could see her gratitude. Jun smiled for the two of them and held Azusa's hand, squeezing it to show that she understood.

"So you need food right? Go ahead and raid the cabinet. You wouldn't be able to get food at the marketplace at this hour," Jun slowly let go of the smaller woman's hand, "Use extra sacks or something to cover the scents so the wild animals won't pounce you. We don't want you to get another bite mark."

"Right. Thanks again, Jun, really."

The taller woman waved casually and Azusa knew things were still alright between them. The black-haired woman certainly felt guilty, lying to her friend about what really happened but she could not possibly tell her about Miss Ui. This was not the first argument they had anyway. Their ideals were so different that clashes were unavoidable. Azusa could still vaguely recall when she proclaimed she should start travelling alone or she would never learn to be independent. Out of worry, Jun was furious with her, but gradually the russet-haired woman came to accept Azusa's decision. Their weird dynamic always seemed to work out in the end, and this was no exception.

Azusa gathered everything she needed and checked the items in her bag. She exhaled apprehensively but purposefully as well. She gazed at the back of her friend's head with an affectionate gleam in her usually distant eyes. Nodding decisively, she tied her hair with the ribbon she received from the lady and, without another glance, she left the place she called home these past five years. She walked through the quiet town with confidence springing in her steps, energized by Jun's trust and the mission she had to fulfill. Refreshed, she quickened her pace with her bulgy bag jostling at her side and soon she left the town's faint outlines behind. She immediately pulled out her torch and lit it up with practiced ease. The new source of light gave her even more courage, like a beacon guiding her to the right path in absolute certainty.

Filled with the giddy rush akin to someone going on their first delivery, Azusa ran through the darkness without any fear. Her guard was still up and her hand clenched around the dagger she found inside the new coat Jun gave her. She travelled under the protection of the tenebrous sky, unafraid of the empty road. The flame burned strong, its flare illuminating her path as clearly as the moonlight would have. Her mind was kept blank as usual as she concentrated on walking, mindless of the itch on her shoulder and the growing dizziness in her head. She was only slightly out of breath by the time she reached the forest. It was silent though, eerily so. No hoots of owls greeted her as she stepped into its alluring shades. No cries of nocturnal hunters cut through the night as she quietly walked through the untamed trail. She directed the flame about her to appease her paranoid mind that no one was following her.

Then why did the hackles on her neck rose in warning?

Her shoulder wound stung sharply, making Azusa's steps falter but she continued willfully. She just needed to make it out of this area then she could take a tiny break. It was possible that her injury was aggravated during her careless sprints, but even her reasoning did not wash away the unease clouding her mind. The closer she approached her destination, the more painful those bite marks became. When she finally stepped out of the thinning trees, she noticed her coat dampening not just from her sweat but also from the light rain shower previously blocked by the foliage.

"If this keeps up, my bag will get soaked, so will the food," she muttered in dismay and clutched the bag close, wincing at the strain to her injured shoulder.

"Good night…or should I say good morning, Miss Courier. What a pleasant surprise."

Startled by the tittering voice, Azusa frantically looked around and spotted a familiar figure near the pond not too far away from her. The lady gracefully stood up from her crouched position and approached the courier as if she was expecting her.

"Ah, yes," Azusa tilted her head in standard greeting, "good…morning…" she trailed off, uncertain how to continue the conversation. The lady disappeared so abruptly last time that the courier was at loss as to how to treat her.

"Oh, look at you, the rain is getting to you! Here~"

The brunette closed their distance and slightly raised the parasol so they were both protected from the rainfall. Though uncomfortable with the proximity, Azusa forced her body to relax and tried to appear as unaffected as possible. However, her unease was quickly noticed by the lady, who merely giggled and guided her from the pond towards the path leading to the garden.

"Thank you. Um-" the shorter woman tried to think of a topic, "It is almost dawn, Miss. Do you usually come to the pond at this hour?"

Chuckling in the same elegant manner Azusa remembered, the lady twirled parasol and splattered rain drops in every direction. Auburn eyes crinkled in mirth as if it was the most interesting game.

"I can't help myself! I don't want to be caught so I come here whenever it's dark out~"

Darkness was when the monster assaulted Azusa twice.

The courier whirled around, intending to grab the lady's shoulder to turn her around. Before Azusa could touch her, however, the brunette was already looking at her with a cute and inquisitive smile.

"What's the matter?"

Azusa put her arm back down to her side, feeling foolish. She fought against her embarrassment and proceeded to explain what happened after they parted. The courier omitted many details though as she wanted to get her point across without making Miss Ui sound like a heartless animal. Azusa skipped over her theory of the horned woman's behavior because she had yet to confirm it. All she wanted to do was make the lady understand that approaching the mansion alone at night was a perilous thing to do, especially for someone like her who wore such intricate clothing.

The lady's expression did not seem to change during the tale but it could just be a trick of light caused by the shades of the parasol.

Her voice did rise in fright though. "No way! The resident of the manor attacked you?"

Azusa regretted telling her story, but after seeing the brunette's rather airheaded smile, the courier felt compelled to warn the lady of the possible dangers. She appeared to be the perfect prey for that monster.

"How terrible! This happened because the person didn't have food, right?"

The courier was pleasantly surprised, that the lady seemed more horrified at the prospect of a person starving than what that person did. Azusa knew that under normal circumstances, Miss Ui would not try to eat her since the nervous woman appeared so innocent. The courier just did not expect the lady to share the same sentiments, especially since she did not know the whole story.

"Hmm, I know it's not my place to say anything but I hope you won't think ill of her. Remember what I said about not judging people by their appearance?" The lady tilted her head, revealing her signature smile. "Hunger can make people do crazy things!"

If only she knew how correct she is, Azusa sighed inwardly, glad that she did not say Miss Ui tried to eat her rather than just attacking her.

The lady's smile widened at the courier's thoughtful frown, "Hmm? What's the matter? I hope you are still going to deliver the letter."

"O-Oh I am. That's why I've come back. I was supposed to return earlier but I lost track of time," Azusa fidgeted sheepishly. There was no need to talk about how she got sick due to her injuries.

"I am glad to hear that you managed to regain your sense of time and came back." The lady played with a strand of her sienna brown hair, looking even more demure, "you know, your speech the other day really touched me, that you will deliver the items to the recipients no matter what."

"Thank you," Azusa straightened up and tried to look as tall as possible. She was pleasantly surprised and proud that the lady truly understood and appreciated her sentiments.

"Oh, I've got a question for you," the lady giggled, waving her hand animatedly at something amusing but it was lost on the confused courier. "Is it cold in the mansion?"

"Um…I am not sure," Azusa tried hard to dig through her memories. The two times she was in the building at night, she had more dire matters to worry about. "It could be, since she seems to be the only one living there. Perhaps no one even attended to the fireplace. Also her dress looks so worn and thin, so she might be cold."

"Is that so? Did you give her the scarf I gave you?" The lady tilted her head, her face hidden from view by the bonnet.

"…scarf?"

The parasol twirled and whirled, forcing Azusa to lean closer to the lady to ensure the rain did not land on her. "Yes, I used a scarf to wrap your wound back then. Never mind that though. It must be so stained now."

"A-ah I apologize," mortified, Azusa struggled to think of a proper reply, "I think I lost it in the mansion. I promise I will find it though, and I will make sure the stains come out-"

"Oh no, I'm not blaming you or anything," the rotation increased in speed to reflect the lady's amusement, "it's fine, just leave it in the mansion. I do not need it anyway and perhaps the resident might use it to warm herself?"

The courier sighed in relief, grateful for the lady's kindness. She fastened her pace to keep up with the lady, who seemed to glide across the muddy path without any effort even though she must be wearing unsuitable shoes. Azusa could not keep her eyes away from the spinning parasol, so uniform and continuous its spiral was. She suddenly felt her eyes were dry and she blinked sleepily, feeling drowsy under the hypnotic spell.

Loud splatters snapped her out of her trance and she barely stopped in time before she crashed into the lady.

"Oh my, it's quite a downpour, isn't it? We should wait for a bit until the sky calms down," the brunette smiled and led them towards the nearest tree. Since it was still early spring, the branches sport newly grown leaves and thus provided a decent shelter for them.

"Ah I apologize. I have to go back to the mansion as soon as possible I'm already late enough as it is," Azusa frowned at an image of Miss Ui waiting by the door that sprung in her mind. "So excuse me for my rudeness, I-"

"Wait, I know you're in a hurry but this isn't just about you anymore," the lady's smile was patient, as if she was explaining an important matter to a tenacious child, "even if I lend you my parasol, the bag will still get soaked."

Azusa clenched her fists but she obediently returned to the brunette's side. The wind caused the rainfall to become slanted that the two of them barely remained dry even under the tree. The courier fervently hoped the small storm would retreat soon. Miss Ui already endured several days without food, and Azusa was sure the meager ration she gave to the horned woman would not even last for one day. What if Miss Ui reverted back to her beastly persona again?

Then I'll have to make sure she changes back her human side again, Azusa vowed, it was my fault that I kept her waiting.

"What's on your mind, Miss Courier?"

"A-ah I was just thinking…um…how everything is not as perfect as it seems," Azusa replied honestly. It might not be the complete truth but she did wonder about this illustration of perfection ever since her parents' abrupt deaths.

"Oh? What do you mean?"

Encouraged by the lady's apparent interest, the courier elaborated softly, "Take seasons for example. I quite like spring since it is the best time to travel but even with all the beautiful flowers blooming and hibernating creatures rejoining the world, I feel like something is lacking. Everything is just so gorgeous that it just seems …fake to me."

"Mhmm spring is just like a mask, isn't it? Hiding what was about to come and what it once was."

"Ah…yes, I suppose you could put it that way," Azusa glanced at the lady's amused smile, like she knew a grand secret that only the experienced would know, "so spring is not perfect, not to me at least."

"What is your favorite season then? You must have one, in spite of its imperfection~"

"Autumn," the black-haired woman answered without hesitation, "It's…quite special to me. It was the season when I set out on my first journey. Whenever I step into the forests, whenever I see their changing colors, I will always be reminded of that time whether I want to or not. It is fine though. Rather than just a thought or piece of memory, it is a kind of feeling that helps clear out any other thoughts I have. Just the air itself calms me down."

"I agree," there was a nostalgic gleam in the lady's eyes, "I love autumn too. It does not hide anything yet it hides everything. The world is shrouded in this exquisite ambiguity that makes people pause to appreciate the changing season, don't you agree?"

The brunette took a deep breath, slowly closing and opening her eyes as if to demonstrate her reasoning. "See? It clears everything out yet the mysterious wonder remains. I remember the time my family would go on picnics in the forest. The cool breeze would welcome us with its gentle embrace, and the leaves would flutter down from the sky in celebration of our reunion with nature."

Azusa stared at the lady, mesmerized by her wise tone as she shared her tale. The taller woman smiled at the courier's entranced expression. "Even so, it cannot compare to my favorite season, not at all. Would you like to know what it is?"

"Yes…I'd like to-" Azusa froze when a cold finger was pressed against her lips. Words died in her throat as the lady languidly trapped the courier against the tree, arms on either side of her head. The bark dug into her back uncomfortably but Azusa could not move at all. The brunette slowly rested her chin on the shorter woman's good shoulder, giggling. The torch dropped from her slack hand, illuminating the surroundings in an earthly glow.

"U-um…L-lady-"

"This is comfortable, isn't it?" The brunette tilted her head, and Azusa winced at the searing coldness as their cheeks came into contact.

"Cold, yes? Raw truth. Winter. Ice is like clarity. There is nothing and it melts away into nothingness. Life disappears as time marches on. Life disappears as everything becomes white. But it is not a color, is it?" The lady smiled and whispered against Azusa's throat. The courier swallowed slowly, still unable to move out of the brunette's threatening hold. "Yes, winter has no color, which is why I adore it so much. Wouldn't you like to know why?"

"Why...?" Azusa hissed as the lady dragged her cold lips up to her cheek, "why would you like something so colorless?" She gasped and trembled in pain when she felt nails digging into the folds of her bandages. Her shoulder burned as slick red warmth trickled down her feverish skin. The lady chuckled lightly at her discomfort and began to stroke the stitches tenderly.

"Why, you get to paint everything in a lovely hue like this," the brunette pressed her lips against the courier's frantic pulse and brought up the stained fingers in front of wide carnelian eyes. Lips curving, the lady licked the crimson digits one by one as she continued to caress the pulsating wound.

"Such a sweet taste," she giggled in delight and rested her forehead against the courier's damp one. "Oh my, you're burning up. Could it be that the rain is making you cold, hmm?"

A simple tug was all it took for Azusa's lustrous black hair to cascade down her back. The weight of those tresses made her tremble apprehensively and further increased the helplessness permeating her senses. Ice licked at her limbs and fire caressed her skin. She was submerged in an invisible quagmire, robbing her body the ability to move. She could still see everything clearly yet there was a sheet of red dripping over the scenery. The courier was reminded of her terrible nightmare filled with this same stifling color, an eternal dye that could not be cleared. She seized up in terror and slumped in the lady's arms. Her knees felt so weak and her head was spinning with burning and piercing pain.

"You're pretty~" The lady giggled again and brushed the shorter woman's unbounded hair. The seemingly comforting gesture clouded Azusa's mind but a sense of purpose willfully broke through the haze. Her goal flashed behind her closed eyelids, reminded by the brunette's words. Instead of the horned beast, the courier simply saw the shy woman who waved at her.

I…need…to see Miss Ui…

"Hmm…I remember brushing hair as black as yours~" The lady abruptly let go of Azusa and backed away, tilting her head as if deep in thought. The weary courier staggered and almost collapsed against the tree. The quiet thud jostled her senses and she finally got her voice to work, albeit feebly.

"J-Just what are-" The black-haired woman choked and struggled fervently, grasping at the crusty vine that seemingly appeared out of nowhere to constrict her neck. Her eyes stung in confusion and powerlessness as she reached out towards the lady's unmoving form. The flame's dying embers hissed and flickered, causing the woman's silhouette to fluctuate unnaturally.

"H-help…me…"

The brunette twirled around and lifted Azusa's chin with her parasol, tilting her head as if searching for the best angle to observe the courier's face, "I am~"

"W…Wha…" She was losing consciousness fast. Why-no, how was this happening?

Just who was this woman?

Suddenly, Azusa could breathe again even though her neck was completely wet. She could not dare to look down because the sickeningly sweet smell was evident enough.

"W-what did you ….what did you d-do to me?" The black-haired woman kept her gaze straight, grasping her bag's strap like a lifeline. The bite marks clawed at her nerves in a vice grip that she almost stumbled from the sheer pain. Were her stitches torn open?

Smiling, the lady reached out and brushed a strand of sticky black hair away when the courier was still struggling for balance. Icy hollowness drenched her fleetingly. The warmth from the frigid night air stroked her skin just as briefly before she was plunged into that colorless void again. The lady's arms were then wrapped around her tiny shoulders, steadying her.

"Are you alright~?" Hair on her neck rose as the ghostly whisper danced across her pale neck. Azusa remained paralyzed as the lady continued to caress her back charmingly yet balefully, trapping her in this enigmatic embrace.

"W-who are you?"

The terrified courier felt the lady's lips curving against her wet neck as the hug tightened almost painfully. Slim and artistic fingers wove through Azusa's damp tresses and condescendingly patted the shorter woman's head.

"Here, the ribbon I gave you," she rubbed her nose against the courier's throat as she deposited the ochre ribbon into her pocket. Azusa shivered as the lady's lips trailed up to her jaw until they were inches away from her own.

There was only childish humor in those large auburn eyes. Fallen leaves were decaying, losing its former luster, lulling Azusa deeper to its desolate world. The curve of the lady's smile was barely noticeable, but the amusement was still apparent. She brushed her lips across Azusa's cheek and rested against the courier's ear.

"You said you will deliver anything, correct?"

The black-haired woman made an unintelligible reply, concentrating more on how to breathe rather than listening. Cold teeth nibbled her outer earlobe slowly, savoring the delicate softness.

"You're absolutely delicious~"

Am I going to drown in blood? Am I being stripped of my sanity? Am I going to lose everything? Who…am I?

"You're just a shadow too…"

The courier's eyes fluttered shut, unable to fight against the invading seduction any longer.

Everything turned black for an eternity until a voice pierced the deathly silence.

"Hehe, you're so adorable, dozing off while standing~"

Azusa blinked in shock, finding herself a shoulder's length from the lady, who was smiling at her with a worried gleam in her gentle eyes. The courier realized she was still holding the bright flame steadily in her hand, and her neck was devoid of dampness or crimson dye as she expected. They were still standing under the tree but the rain had already lessened drastically.

"W-what happened?"

"You dazed off. I tried calling you but you didn't reply. Are you alright?"

Though the words held a different tone, the black-haired woman shivered as she heard them. Did she hallucinate?

"Yes, I am fine. Thank you for your concern," Azusa nodded at the lady politely, using her professional voice in an attempt to calm her pounding heart. She felt too tired to think what transpired during her light nap. She decided she should at least reach the manor's front door and rest under the tiny roof before she was ready to knock again.

"The rain is almost gone. I-I think I can make it to the mansion just fine," Azusa quickly held up her hand as the lady moved to give the courier the parasol. She still felt uneasy being so close to the brunette but she tried to suppress her wariness before it was noticed. "Perhaps it is best that you return back to your residence as well, Lady, in case there is another downpour." She was about to continue walking when the brunette held up her hand to stop Azusa.

"Wait, I have a question, Miss Courier."

"What is it?"

"You said you will deliver anything, correct?"

Azusa quivered again at the exact words, thought this time they were spoken in such a hopeful tone that she felt really silly with all her deliriums. "Yes. Do you have anything you wish for me to deliver, Lady?"

"Oh, aren't you a puppy," the brunette giggled and pulled out a pair of pale pink gloves from her sleeves. "Would you deliver these to the resident of the mansion? These will surely keep her warm."

"A-ah, of course, I will do so," Azusa accepted them with slight hesitation, recalling Miss Ui's clawed hands.

"Oh, don't tell her it's from me though. Just say you found these out in the forest, which is half-true, yes?"

"R-right, I can do that. I'm sure Miss Ui would accept them."

"Oh? Is that her name?"

Azusa inwardly berated herself for sharing the horned woman's name. Miss Ui looked so reluctant back then, and who was Azusa to share her name to outsiders?

"Ah, I never got your name either, Miss Courier, would you tell me?"

"But I thought I did…" Azusa blinked, nonplussed. Right, when she turned around the lady was already gone so perhaps she did not hear her? "Azusa at your service, Lady. I work for the delivery company in town."

"Oh yes, I know that company," the brunette giggled at the insignia on the courier's gloves, "I know them quite well. They once delivered a package for me. It was from a young woman and her lover, yes, I remember. Really hardworking, and her lover was quite the joker, very entertaining."

"I see," Azusa could not help but sigh in relief. The people from Jun's tale really eloped after their last delivery then. It meant that Miss Ui didn't attack them. She probably stayed inside the mansion all this time. She would not have gone out to attack people on purpose.

"Well then," the lady's smile was small yet it felt meaningful for some reason, "My name is Aki. Pleased to be your acquaintance. You and I appear to be similar in age, yet we're so different~"

"I suppose," Azusa fidgeted awkwardly. She remembered similar questions during her travels, where women would be stunned at her career choice, sometimes even sneered at her with an arrogant wave of their shawls.

"No, I don't mean it in a bad way, Azusa," the way Aki spoke her name was so similar to how Miss Ui did that the courier had to blink a few times to reassure herself she wasn't imagining things. "I mean I admire you, a lot! You must have gathered so much courage to make such journeys! Don't you ever get scared or lonely, being all by yourself?"

"…I guess so," Azusa replied honestly, "but it's thrilling too, going to unknown places and exploring areas you've never seen before. Companions would be nice, but I guess I'm used to being alone so I prefer it that way. The most important thing is that I feel free under the vast sky."

A content glint shimmered in Azusa's dimmed eyes, "that's the other thing I love about being a courier. I'm never confined in one place. I get to travel and meet new people. That's enough to compensate for any loneliness. And just seeing the recipient's smile or even just being able to deliver the items to their hands is enough of a reward. I could not ask more than that."

"I'm really happy that, of all the possible couriers in the world, you are the one to deliver the gloves for me," Aki's bright smile inexplicably made Azusa's ears burn, "you will try to give Miss Ui the gloves first, right? Before you decide whether to give her the letter or not."

"Yes. After all, the letter is addressed to Miss Yui, not Miss Ui," Azusa could still feel the weight of the feather-like letter in her bag, "I do wonder if I should even mention it again until I find out more clues."

"I support that idea. It's safer that way, in case Miss Ui attacks you again. I hope she will like the gloves~"

"She appears to be a nice person, Miss Aki," Azusa gazed into the night sky, "I'm sure she will." As long as that other persona doesn't emerge, it should be fine.

"Hehe~ Well, it's almost dawn, so I really shouldn't keep you out longer than I already had and," Aki spun the parasol again and again, the circle spiraling ceaselessly and indistinguishably. "It's starting to rain again."

A light prickle on her forehead snapped the courier out of her enthralled gaze on the umbrella, "A-ah, you're right. I'm going then. You should go home soon too, Miss Aki."

The brunette covered her lips with her hand as she giggled, "Of course I'll be going home. I'm just going to make a detour to the pond first. Have fun, Azusa~"

The black-haired woman sighed, unable to decide how to feel about Miss Aki. The strange…illusion during her delirium made Azusa uneasy. She patted the pink gloves in her pocket and took determined steps towards the looming manor.

She never realized that her trench coat was filthy and caked with maroon mud even though she had not tripped. She did not notice her hair was out of its ponytail and her stitches were bleeding, for her arm had become so numb and cold.

All she knew was that she must reach the manor's front door as soon as possible. It took great effort for her to even lift her legs, and it was getting harder to breathe with each heavy step she took. She must have forced her body too hard. She did sleep for a long time but that did not mean both her mind and body recuperated properly. The pounding in her head coincided with each muffled thud as her boots hit the ground. Her weak knees trembled with fatigue as she trudged on. The mansion seemed so distant, so out of her reach even though she was walking on a simple, straight path.

The rain resumed its relentless downpour, urging the tired courier to hasten her pace. She hugged her bag with her good arm, hoping to protect its contents from being drenched. Cold rainwater soaked through her coat and instigated chills down her spine even as searing heat draped over her head in a feverish embrace.

When she finally reached the front door, safe from the rain under its roof, she could barely hear anything other than the never ending splatters of raindrops in the muffled background. She collapsed against the door, shuddering violently as she struggled to keep her body upright. She grasped for the handle to steady herself, breathing deeply to clear the dizziness claiming her senses.

Slowly, very slowly, she lifted her trembling arm to knock on the door.

Thud.

Tick.

Thud.

Tock.

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End of II: Spring and Autumn

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TBC

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Authors' Notes:

Athyra: Long chapter is long. And so the A/N is short. Jun's father owns a small courier company that consists of less than a dozen workers. The headquarters is in this town, where he, Jun and Azusa are staffed at. There are a few simple offices elsewhere with the rest of the workers.

ghikiJ: For those wondering about Azusa's infection, I would like to remind you of the time setting. While people already knew the existence of microorganisms in the early 1800s, but the idea of infections, or illnesses caused by these tiny organisms, is not widely known or accepted until later in the mid-to-late 1800s. Truth be told, it is only during this time period that the germ theory of disease is being studied, with scientists building on Antonie van Leeuwenhoek's earlier microbiological studies. Just a little trivia. On another tangent, more illustrations will be posted on Athyra's DeviantArt page some time in the next few days. Links will be posted on my profile for those interested to see them.