Chapter four:

AN: Sevlin: thanks ;) the real lemon scene will be in chapter 5, but there will be some minor stuff until that^^ I'll try to update during the week :D

Talking

They turned to go into "The Gin Heaven", one of the many dives in Ombras worse quarters. The air was filled with the most disgusting smells you could imagine and there were creepy people lying against the walls of the houses, their eyes begging for relief from the endless pain, that was their life.

Dustfinger felt a sharp sting in his stomach. He wanted to help them. He would, if he weren't at the edge of extreme poverty himself. It wasn't hard to guess what Basta thought of them, though. One could see from the expression on his face and the looks he gave the poor creatures, that he didn't feel any comfortable. But this was the only place where the two of them could talk without being recognized by someone they knew.

Dustfinger chuckled at the disgusted look Basta gave their surroundings. "Don't you feel pity for them?" "Why would I? Most of them are here because of their own fault, if they're too lazy to work I can't help them." "What about those, who aren't responsible for their poverty? What about the children?" Basta grunted. Why did Dustfinger always have to be the hero? Saver of the innocence of the poor children. "Well, that's life, Mudfinger. It isn't always sunshine and happiness. It is hard work and those, who can't work don't earn living." "You know, I feel pity for you sometimes ,too, Basta. Maybe even more than for them. Your attitudes are rude, but I suppose they're just caused by a childhood, not poor with wealth, but with love." Sometimes the Mudfinger knew him better than he did himself. But for an answer he just shook his head looking into the other direction, a faint smirk on his face.

Finally they arrived at "The Gin Heaven". Dustfinger pulled the door open and the smell from outside mixed with the air from inside. The stink of sweat mixed with gin reached Dustfingers nose and he immediately hold his breath for a few seconds. Inside the dive one could hardly understand his own word, because it was loud, men were chanting, prattling and staring at the only woman in the room. A girl, maybe 15 years old. She seemed to be used to it and brought the men their alcohol. Basta pushed past him, grabbed his hand and pulled him to the only table available. Of course, it wasn't in the corner, where Dustfinger would have preferred to sit, but at least it was separated from the other tables because of a low stone wall, which parted the room in two.

They sat down, the slim waitress came and they ordered two beer. The girl seemed surprised, maybe beer wasn't the sort of alcohol, which she was used to. When she was gone Basta looked around. "I just hope, there is no one here I know."

Dustfinger began to feel a little uncomfortable, not only due to their surrounding, but also because of Bastas presence. He felt his eyes on him all the time, but pretended to not notice. He was nervous. Now they were here. Now they could talk? About what? Their relationship? Hah, you couldn't call our engagement a proper relationship. But he would love to know what it was like waking up next to Basta, the look of his dark brown hair, a bit messy maybe, but soft. What might it look like when he wakes up, Dustfinger wondered.

"…right?"

"Huh, what?" Dustfingers mind had been occupied with thoughts about Basta, he hadn't noticed that the man had been talking to him. He looked at Basta, blushed and looked at the dirty table. Basta, in contrast to what Dustfinger was used to, wasn't the slightest bit angry. He just kept staring at the red haired man. Then he began to speak.

"I asked whether we wanted to start talking aout us now, I mean that's what we came here for, right?" Dustfinger chuckled. Typically for Basta. He didn't beat around the bush, he just started talking right away. He wasn't so low to make a little bit of small talk with Dustfinger just to ease the mood, not like Roxanne, who was annoyingly often avoiding to talk about problems. So to start the conversation Dustfinger asked the first question that came into his head, when looking at Basta.

"Why did you do it?" "What?", Basta looked puzzled. "This" said Dustfinger pointing at one of his scars. Basta understood immediately. It was like a huge cloud had arisen on his face. His eyes were dark and there was something in them, which Dustfinger couldn't see properly, because Basta lowered his gaze. Was it…regret? Never, this was still Basta after all. Never in control of himself, never regretting anything.

"I think anything I could say now would sound very wrong to you." Basta began "I mean, I was drunk and I was totally out of control, I know that is no excuse, but see, I never felt this way before. I first felt it, when I saw you for the second time. You and all of your other Gleeman friends. You were joking around and laughing. And I suddenly felt the urge to be part of it. To be able to laugh, too. This was the first time in my life I wanted to be someone else. And then I saw you with the woman, Rosalind, …" "-Roxanne." "Oh, yeah, Roxanne, of course. I thought I was in love with her. You see, every time I saw you two together there was this feeling in my stomach and it made me so angry. So angry, believe me I have never felt like that before. One night I just got drunk and then it happened…" First Basta was speaking really fast, but at the end he slowed down a bit, his was gowing quieter and thinner with every word and Dustfinger knew it was Bastas way to say "Sorry".

He didn't expect any more of him, but if Basta weren't Basta Dustfinger would have broken his nose by now. He wasn't as hot tempered as Basta, but the scars were something which reminded him of the most horrible nights of all in his life.

"I want you to know that-" "It's fine" Dustfinger said fast. He knew from the look in Bastas eyes, that he was sorr. He didn't need the words. And as far as they could go in their surrounding, Basta took Dustfingers hand under the table and squeezed it.

A shock went through Dustfingers body, where Bastas finger touched his. Had he ever felt that with Roxanne. Yes, at the beginning, but with the years the feeling began to lessen and Dustfinger didn't shiver at her touch anymore. Not like now. There was goose flesh all over his arm and he could feel the little hairs stand stiff, when Bastas hand slowly wandered from his hand to his arm and stroked it. "Dustfinger looked at his arm, then back to Basta. He lend over "You know we shouldn't be doing this in here." He said with a quick look around.

Nobody had seen it. Pheeew. "Why that?" Basta murmured. "It makes it even more exciting." He hadn't stopped stroking Dustfingers arm. He didn't want Basta to let go off it either, but if someone saw them…the aftermath would be extreme. Dungeon, no water, no bread. Then the pillory. Maybe Roxanne would come watching him. Maybe the Prince even. He could hear the sound of the people, yelling at him, torturing him. And Basta. For being together. For not being man and woman. For being…hmm there wasn't really a word for it.

"What are we?" Dustfinger asked all of a sudden. Basta looked at him as if he had asked him to throw his knife away. "Eeerm..we are..humans?" "So much I realized." Dustfinger said ironically. "I mean, we, two mean having a sort of .."he lowered his voice"…relationship. What is that called?" Basta shook his head, chuckling. "What kind of question is that? As long as we're fine with it, it shouldn't matter what it's called, right?" "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Suddenly Basta pulled his hand back abruptly. "I thought I had just seen someone, but he's out of the door now, anyway." Dustfinger felt the fear arise in him. Hot and ugly.

Basta had to grin at the fearful expression the Mudfinger made. He looked to the door twice and began turning around every two seconds looking whether someone was staring at them. "Come on, don't be so paranoid. Even if someone saw and recognized us, how would they know about us?" Dustfinger eased a bit. Basta made everything so simple for him. The fear lessened but was still there. Basta chuckled once more, a sound, which Dustfinger liked very much, due to its rarity. Basta didn't chuckle or laugh very often, but therefore it was even more precious.

They shared a deep look, but were interrupted by the girl, who finally brought their beers. Dustfinger nodded at her, but Basta didn't give her one single look. His eyes were still on Dustfinger, who went a bit nervous under Bastas intense, dark eyed gaze.

Maybe alcohol could change something about this. Dustfinger thankfully grabbed the beer glass and drank in thirsty, big gulps. It tasted awful, but what did he expect from a place like this? He felt his body heaten up. The usual effect of alcohol. He drank once more. Basta on the other hand hadn't touched his glass. He then drank one little gulp, grimaced and put the glass down again.

Next he looked up from the table, straight into Dustfingers eyes. Dustfinger couldn't help but stare back into these dark eyes, which mirrored exactly how much their owner had been through.

"Dustfinger, I want you to be honest with me", he began. No problem for me, the gleeman thought. "What about the woman, Ro…eeeerm…. Roxas?" Dustfinger grinned. "Roxanne", he said, smiling. "Yeah, right, Roxanne…how could I forget? " "What about her?" "How is your current…(Basta tensed at the word) relationship with you?"

Oh, that was, what it was all about. Dustfinger began to understand. Basta wanted to know whether Dustfinger was still as madly in love with her as he had used to be. Or pretended to have been.

"Urm…she is fine." He said lamely. What did Basta want to hear? That Dustfinger hadn't looked her in the eyes properly since their kiss? Well that was true and Basta wanted the truth from him.

Dustfinger sighed. "I don't know where to begin. Roxannes and my relationship hasn't been what it used to be for years. I mean, you were just one additional factor, that brought me from trying to avoid her presence as often as possible to not talking to her at all and I can't look her in the eyes either." Basta grinned content with what he heard. Him destroying Dustfinger and that womans relationship? Fine. Dustfinger looked at the table and went on."It would have been over sooner or later anyway. She often tries to talk to me, but I always walk away and stop dealing with the problem. I seriously don't know what to do about her. She keeps following me and I don't want to hurt but, but I have to, because I know who I've decided for. She shouldn't know the truth and I don't want to involve another woman. I honestly don't know what to do." Dustfinger sighed put his arms on the table and rested his head on them.

Basta liked the idea of Dustfinger and the Roxanne woman being apart. But he didn't want Dustfinger to be sad because of her. How typical of him to have a feeling of guilt because of her. "Why don't you just tell her that you don't love her anymore?" Dustfinger shook his head. "It might be the easiest way, but you haven't spent nearly all of your life with her. We were friends since childhood and she was my first love…" .He blushed.

"Do you still care about her?" Basta felt a sharp sting in his stomach. Just like the feeling when he saw them together for the first time (but not so strong). Then he had thought he had been jealous of Dustfinger, now he noticed that it had just been the other way around.

"I don't know…I don't think so. Not in the way that you mean." In a way that appeared very childish to Basta, he felt somewhat relieved and happy about this. He couldn't stop the flamboyant voice in his head shouting "He doesn't like her in that way…lalala he doesn't like her…."

Suddenly Dustfinger looked up from the table. "I've got a brilliant idea! There is something I have to show you." It was amazing how suddenly Dustfingers mood could switch from sad to hyper. He was like a child on its birthday waiting for the presents. "What do you think? Isn't that idea great?" he cocked his head to the side and looked Basta straight in the eyes.

This better be not some dirty trick, the man thought before saying. "How about if you tell me first, where we are going to go?" "Oh, but it's a secret place. I promise, you'll like it. It should be about midday now and it's very nice, especially at this time of the day." Basta thought for a moment. "Flatnose and Cockerell might be wondering where I am. Anyway, let the silly people go back to the castle on their own. I am all yours, all day" There was the brilliant smile again, which Dustfinger liked so much.

"Allright, we will pay and then you will come with me." He was full of anticipation and very excited about showing Basta the place, of which he believed he was the only human who knew it. The fairies had shown it to him and since then it had always been a place all for himself. Where he could go when the world seemed to turn against him. And now he was ready to share it with someone else. Someone precious.

A place for you and me

"Dustfinger, slow down!" Bastas voice got a slightly annoyed touch, when he stumbled trough the wood behind Dustfinger. The fire raiser was fast and could easily wriggle himself through the branches, but no one could reach up to the level of Dustfingers elegance.

He could hear Basta curse behind him and fighting the undergrowth. "How long is it until that magical place?" the man complained. Dustfinger smiled. Like a little child, so easily annoyed. "Not long." "You keep tellin me that 'till hours!" Basta was exaggerating of course. They had been going about 1 hour at highest.

Dustfinger wondered what the place would look like, he hadn't been there for a while. If Basta would like it there? Damn, Dustfinger you sound like a silly old donkey! Pull yourself together! Ah, there it was. The old big oak which led to the grot. Fortunately the weather was sunny that day and fortunately it was not past midday, when Dustfinger finally pulled the last leaves back and turned around to Basta, who was still fighting the wood.

"Ah, take that you stupid tree trunk!" Basta finished off another branch and finally stumbled aside the chuckling Gleeman. He looked exhausted and ridiculous, leafs sticking out of his hair, his former white shirt, dirty and one little scratch across his face. "This isn't funny." He said with a look at Dustfinger, who had to laugh even harder.

"Seriously, we should do this more often." He laughed, leaning forward and picking a leaf out of Bastas hair, who put on a face. "Where is this magical place, then?" he grunted. "It's right here all you have to do is close your eyes." Dustfinger said looking at the other man a mischievous grin on his face. Basta gave him a death glare, but closed his eyes. Dustfinger went behind him. "No cheating." Basta grunted for an answer. Then he put his hands on Bastas slender shoulders and led him towards a group of trees.

Dustfinger could smell the smeel of Bastas hair. There had not been many people whose smell he found so attractive. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he pushed a few leafs aside and whispered into Bastas ear: " Open you eyes."

Basta felt Dustfingers mouth right next to his right ear. His voice was soft and he could feel their bodies pressing together for a second, which made his mind go blank immediately. Shivers were running down his back, it felt so well. "Open your eyes", and Basta did so. He would have done anything for that voice.

The place was not as beautiful as Basta had imagined it. There were no silly butterflies in the air. The sun was hidden by a cloud right now, so the water was kind of gloomy instead of sparkling and there were none of these flowers in which women showed an abnormally interest. But there was a waterfall, a very small one, and a little lake. The lake was the extremely fascinating thing about the small glade. It was shining in such a deep blue, that Basta wondered whether it might be bewitched by some fairies.

Dustfinger caught Bastas look at the water and said fast:" The water is fine, you could even go swimming in there. But isn't this place beautiful?" Basta was about to answer that he had seen far more beautiful places in this wood, but just then the sun came out from behind a cloud and dived the place into thousands of colors. The green suddenly seemed more green, the lake, which had been nice before, was now the most beautiful shape of blue that Basta had ever seen and the waterfall began to sparkle.

Basta began to understand, why Dustfinger liked this place so much. He smiled at him and Dustfinger smiled back. When Basta was finished admiring the landscape, Dustfinger said:" There is also a little grot behind that waterfall." Basta was excited. A grot? He had never been in a grot. "Have you been there?" Dustfinger smiled memorizing: "At least 50 times, but if we want to go there we'll get wet." "Wet? Because of the waterfall? Sounds like fun to me." Basta said, pulling off his jacket and shoes.

Dustfinger looked at Basta. The white shirt was a bit too big for him and it perfectly accented his slim figure. Not too slim for Dustfinger. Basta caught his look, grinned and walked towards him.

He took Dustfingers hand and pulled him towards the lake. "If the water is fine for swimming then you should test it first." He said and pushing the unsuspecting Dustfinger into the water. There was a great splash and a lot of bubbles around Dustfinger, tickling in his ears and hair. Then he came up again looking at Basta in a disgruntled way. Basta just laughed at him, but stopped doing so, when Dustfinger quickly swam to the bank and pulled Basta in, too.

The men played in the water, childish, laughing, having fun and forgetting for a brief moment who they were and that they weren't supposed to do this.

After a while Basta pointed at the waterfall. "Shall we..?" Dustfinger nodded. His shoulder long, red hair dripped and all he had put off his gleeman's jacket either. Basta found it looked very attractive especially when his shirt was soaked and was tighter to his skin. Basta admired Dustfingers muscles for a few seconds, then he turned his attention towards the waterfall.

The sound of the water was so loud that the two men couldn't understand each others words when they swam nearer. Basta decided to dive under it, so he wouldn't be hit by the water. Although the waterfall was only about 6 meters high the force with which the water fell down made it feel like stone hitting bare skin.

Finally they were inside the grot, behind the waterfall. It was dark, but not too dark and Basta heard Dustfinger crawling into the grot, spitting water and coughing. Then the gleemans' face was right in front of his. "Now you know one of the most beautiful places in this country." Dustfinger lent forward and whispered into Bastas ear. Basta felt the cheek of the other man next to his. Man, he had to forbid Dustfinger doing this to him. It made him feel weird, sort of relaxed and just…fine.

Basta was sitting with his back at the wall of the grot. He felt the hard stone floor under him and little stone pricking into his hands. But he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Dustfinger was over him and this time it wasn't heated. It wasn't desperate. It was sensual and passionate when they kissed. Bastas whole body froze when Dustfinger slowly pressed his warms lips on his.

His hair dripped on Bastas shirt, they were both still awfully wet, but it didn't matter to him.

Basta slowly moved his hands up to Dustfingers face, their lips still melted, and touched it everywhere he could. Then he moved his mouth away from the other mans' lips and began kissing down his neck, slowly, he nibbled on his ear and Dustfinger escaped a small moan. He could smell all of Basta now, put his nose into his hair and just drown in the smell. Next Dustfinger slowly pulled Basta away from him, who had been kissing the small space between his ear and his head and looked at him.

Basta stared back at Dustfinger, who had pulled him away carefully and was now…unbuttoning his shirt. Basta gasped. This was the most arousing thing he had ever done in his life and now Dustfinger was undressing. The gleeman just laughed at Bastas deranged expression, then put off his shirt and crawled over the other man.

For a second Basta was had kind of a nice shock when Dustfinger lent over him and kissed him. His shirt made contact with the bare skin and he was suddenly very sad, that it wasn't brighter in the grot. But he soon had enough of being passive and being kissed by Dustfinger. He let his hands wonder down Dustfingers shoulders and could feel the man shiver under his touch. He traveled down lower touched Dustfingers hard nipples, lent forward and licked them and all the time he looked Dustfinger, who suddenly let out a moan and closed his eyes, straight in the eye. "Bahh-staah. Huuh."

Driven by so much acceptance of his actions Basta was getting more and more courageous stroked Dustfingers back with his hands and made little circles on it. Dustfinger on the other hand now began to undress Basta. He opened up his shirt and revealed Bastas slim and scrawny chest. Just like he had imagined it to look like. Basta blushed a bit, maybe he was precarious about his looks in front of the muscular and well-trained Dustfinger. But the gleeman did not only accept, but also like what he saw. Very much. He also ran his tongue down Bastas chest began to stroke him carefully. Basta stopped making circles and his whole body tensed under Dustfingers touch. He put his chin on the other mans' shoulder and moaned in his ear.

As Dustfinger went on with caressing Basta, the man suddenly felt something in his pants harden. And Dustfinger felt it, too. He smiled knowing that he was the one who had caused this and taking it as a compliment. He tried to pull the shirt over Bastas arms, but the man resisted and sat up. Dustfinger lent forward and tried to see Bastas expression in the half-light, but the man looked down. "Please don't." "Don't what?", "I can't put off my shirt I'm just not ready for it yet." What had he just said? Not ready for it yet? Basta, you sound like an old … , come on tell him why you can't pull off your shirt. He's Dustfinger after all, he will understand it. "I…", he could say it. He could tell him what was wrong with him. "I…believe me Dustfinger I enjoyed it like I never enjoyed anything, but I just can't." He shook his head and looked away.

Dustfinger thought for a moment, then he put a hand under Bastas chin, and pulled his head softly into his direction. "I want you to know that I understand you, Basta. It has been the same after my scars." Basta immediately put Dustfingers hand away lent forward and kissed every single one of Dustfingers scars.

Dustfinger lay on his back, pulling Basta with his, whose lips were still on his face. Then they shared a long kiss and Basta leaned against Dustfinger, who put an arm around him. Basta had never felt safer and happier. Dustfinger had never felt more accepted and free.