A/N: A very, very warm thank you to all who have read, edited, Tweeted, Facebooked and/or left me comments regarding this story. I sincerely appreciate your time and remarks.

X. Space.

Jim Kirk sat in his chair aboard the bridge idly staring out at the view screen. His chin rested on his fist as his peripheral vision caught the motions of Sulu and Chekov as they each swept their hands across their consoles to engage the break-away procedures from the Trill space dock. At the base of the screen, Jim could see the planet hovering in untainted existence. It was as though the Enterprise, Captain Kirk or the Federation had ever been there; and honestly, they hadn't actually. Jim especially. Though he had once believed the couple days prior that he would be taking place in a progressive turn of fate on his beloved career path, Jim was absolutely positive that nothing of the sort had taken place. If anyone had been right, he noted in self-defeat, it had been Senator Dorraine. Jim's existence was not one that could be tied down to playing dress up and pressing on about bullshit negotiations that meant nothing to him; it was likely that his connection with Trill would be cut once they left the planet's orbit. The negotiations between the Federation and the Trills would not affect him either way. There was no logic in him being the one to bridge their gap. Jim's place belonged where his heart was 100% of the time - with his ship and his crew. For a brief moment, a wave of failure hit him as a captain. In that light, it was obvious that he – Captain James T. Kirk – had been unable to perform the duties assigned to him. But this shower of that reality was a short one. While the negotiations had been a failure for him as a captain (one the Federation had already noted to him in plethora since his transmission to them after the ordeal with Spock), Jim could not feel bad about this career error. He never enlisted to shake hands with strangers and pretend to care about their concerns. He signed up to be the best damn captain in the galaxy ... And friend. So while those about the ship looked to their young captain and sympathized with him over what they concluded was to be sulking over Trill, Jim's rainy cloud consisted without any feelings in regards to Trill; his failure rested in the fact that he had left his friends to fend for themselves in such a significantly dangerous time to pursue his own selfish feats.

Jim's mind raced, though he did not want it to, back through the timeline of the past couple of days. He saw the faces of them all - Spock, Amelia, Leonard, Skylar, Scotty and Sulu, each suffering their own personal demons, be it about themselves or about one another. Through all of the mess, Jim had found himself where his mind had been centered on promotions and sex. Sex ... temptations that had gone too far. There was nothing that could erase the sins that he had committed in his life without fervent repentance, but Jim wondered how any of them could forgive him for the last two days. He had offered up a friend to other in front of her boyfriend and one of Jim's best friends; he had expected everyone else to accept it, and he had almost gone too far with another friend who had contracted something that Jim had not allowed himself to understand. He had placed himself on the edge of friendships all for the sake of adding some bullshit diplomacy onto his résumé. He nearly laughed out loud in bitterness at this notion.

This was not the Jim Kirk he had wanted to grow up to be. This was not who he was destined to be. It was never about being the poster boy of anything; it was about doing the right thing, especially by those whom he loved more than anything - his family. Jim was not allotted an abundance of luxuries as a Starfleet captain. In fact, the good times were hard to come by what with business and formalities and the constant reminder that everything could be lost in a second with a single incorrect command or judgment. Many would not find the job to be worth the scarce amount of rewards. But having the people he surrounded himself with at the end of the day, making memories and knowing that his life was more than secure in the hands of these individuals was worth the heavy weight of a nearly thankless job. A smile, an inside joke, and the trust in knowing that someone other than himself walking around aboard the Enterprise had a glimpse into his heart and soul was an overwhelmingly reassuring thought about his choice in career. He never expected or intended that he should be the one to screw any of that up. And this killed Jim.

"Captain," Sulu's voice brought Jim back into reality. "We've initiated break-away procedures." The familiar life that was usually laced into Sulu's tone was missing.

"Excellent," said Jim as he stood from his chair. His eyes lingered in the direction of where Spock usually sat, but the Vulcan was absent. Jim walked up to his helmsman and navigator, placing a hand on either of their shoulders and gave them each a light squeeze. "I just wanted to say that you both are doing an excellent job," said Jim quietly to them. He caught Sulu's eye as Sulu looked up at the captain in slight surprise. "This job is hard, especially when my orders aren't always what one would do in a given situation. But I appreciate your patience."

"Of course, keptin," Chekov stated.

Sulu stared at Jim a little bit longer. "It isn't always easy, Captain," he said quietly. After a moment, he added, "For any of us."

Jim nodded.

"But we're still here," Sulu added. "We're all still here, Jim." Sulu felt Jim's fingers press into his shoulder again, this time a bit harder. Their stare did not break for a moment until Jim's mouth slightly curved and he nodded again.

"Yes, we are."

:::::

Skylar sat on the edge of the medical bed. She glanced up at the closed door she knew Amelia and Leonard were behind. He had already given Skylar one last physical and then had pulled Amelia into the room, albeit awkwardly. Everything seemed awkward, suddenly, Skylar felt. But it wasn't necessarily a negative type of awkward. It was more of an aware feeling; it was as though they had been stripped naked over the past couple of days and they had each seen everything on the outside but particularly what was within, venturing beyond the nakedness of the skin, past blood and muscle. It was like a window to the soul had opened up, and there was nothing left to hide anymore. Every perfection, every flaw, every intention and demon and weakness and strength had been bared, displayed to the world - but more importantly, to themselves. It was scary yet incredibly insightful and enlightening. It was also incredibly new for her. Skylar was not used to letting herself become so open to just anyone. Even though Spock was her lover, even she had become aware of the fact that Spock knew her inside and out, deeper inside that she could have ever imagined. It wasn't necessarily a hard thing to comprehend, but it wasn't easy. It also made her terribly insecure. Perhaps Spock could not accept everything he had seen. Maybe there were a few imperfections and demons he would not be able to handle in her. With everything out in the open now, things were bound to change. This change was going to affect them all. Skylar was very concerned about what kind of change this would prompt, for as much as she led on that she could handle and adapt to anything, this was something that Skylar did not know if she could deal with. Would there be any trust left between them all, especially between she and Spock? After all, she had almost had sex with Jim, Spock's best friend, their captain … She had nearly killed him for it. What would a human do in this situation? But more importantly, what were the bedroom laws of the Vulcan during such a madness as pon farr? She could have easily placed herself in Spock's boots and offered herself a fate that would have killed her. It would have been the right thing, to toss herself aside. She was tainted. But even though her body and mind had gone to the wrong place, wasn't their any redemption for the truth of her heart? Couldn't Spock mind meld with her heart and see where her feelings actually lay?

Skylar sighed heavily. All she could do was prepare for the worst. What was done was done, and a judgment was to be made against her crimes. Not even she could talk herself out of what had happened. The dirty laundry between them and their closest friend was all out on the line. This was it.

As Skylar looked down at her toes as her feet dangled over the edge of the bed, she heard rustling in the bed next to her. She turned her head to see Spock lying there, now looking at her back. Skylar turned and shifted herself back onto the bed so that she could face him fully.

They did not say anything for a moment but just watched each other.

:::::

Amelia let the door slide closed behind her and stopped just beyond it as Leonard sat on a stool writing notes furiously onto the screen of his medical PADD. Without looking up at her, he said gruffly, "Skylar's fine. Everything checked out okay."

Amelia replied softly, "I'm surprised you're not going to make Chapel run the physical."

"Yeah, well, I'm the primary physician, and she's got other problems to deal with." He tossed the PADD onto the counter, sighed heavily and ran both of his hands through his hair. He cringed slightly as a hand gingerly went to his abdomen.

"You okay?" Amelia questioned, taking a step toward him.

"Yeah, that pointy eared bastard really knows how to kick a man when he's down though," Leonard retorted grimly.

Amelia stopped and crossed her arms over her chest protectively. She watched him for a moment. "Why won't you look at me?" she asked in a pleading manner. "Leonard, this is so hard."

Leonard chuckled bitterly. At least that's what Amelia thought he was doing until he finally turned to look at her and she saw that his gruff face was tear-stained and his eyes were red.

"I don't want to see it - any of it, but it has to be me," he told her in defeat as he began to break down. As Leonard brought his hands up to his face, Amelia skirted to him and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Leonard allowed her to hold him for a moment as he wept into her chest. "Look at me, you're the one who has gone through all of this shit and I'm the blubbering idiot."

Amelia shushed him. "This choice was not just going to affect me, Leonard."

"Yeah, I got that."

"This entire thing - all of it, it's hurt so many of us."

"I'm sorry for being such a dick to you," Leonard said as he looked up to her. "Here you are in the dark by yourself and I was such an asshole about it. You're such a good person - you don't need any of this."

"I wasn't by myself," Amelia told him softly. "You were there."

"No I wasn't. I don't deserve you."

Amelia held him out at arm's length and stared at him hard. "Leonard McCoy, if you do not stop that, I will sock you in the same spot Spock did and not regret it," she threatened. "I know exactly where you were. I know. And I apologize for the emotional trauma that has happened, for all of us. This was not an attempt to break your heart."

Without a second thought, Leonard pulled her into a deep, wet kiss. He took her around the back and lifted her onto is lap, her legs around him. He ignored any pain that throbbed at him as he pressed her closer to him. Breaking the kiss gently, he brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I love you, Amelia, more than you could ever know," he whispered to her.

"I think I have an idea," she whispered back. Pausing for a moment, she stared at him seriously. "Len, regardless of what you see on my body, I want you to know that Spock chose to end it." Leonard said nothing and Amelia did not wait for him to offer a reply. "He couldn't. He told me himself. Please don't hate him."

Leonard looked down briefly to consider this, when the tiniest of smiles crossed his lips. His eyes wandering up to hers, he said, "When I entered the room, I thought you'd beaten the shit out of him for me."

Amelia smirked. "Yeah, that's what happened," she said in mock-seriousness.

"I am okay with that." Leonard paused. "I just hope he and Skylar are going to be okay," he remarked quietly. "Jim told me that Skylar had contracted the pon farr from Spock, being that they have mind melded on a consistent basis in the past."

"That's possible?"

"Apparently so. To a degree, at least. I don't think she'll have a typical seven year period of it, or ever to the degree that Spock will experience it. But because of their relationship, they will always have a mental connection."

"She's his mate," she told him softly. "They aren't meant to be with anyone else, no matter if she's on-planet or he's a million light-years away. They were always intended to be together. We should have never tried to separate them."

Leonard nodded. "But now that Jim has been thrown into the mix... " He trailed off. "All I know is that Jim feels like a walking disaster and Spock and Skylar have said virtually nothing to anyone. I can understand why Spock would dismiss the situation all together, as a cultural thing, but Skylar ... She and Jim seem very affected."

Amelia considered this sadly. "Skylar loves Spock," she said finally, with a firmness in her tone. "And though he isn't one to say it outright, I know for a fact that Spock loves Skylar. Especially after last night. Spock wasn't just trying to save me. He chose death, Len. Who does that for anything but love?"

"I would die for you," Leonard told her just as firm. "But you've got to let me."

Amelia took his head in her hands and their foreheads came together. "Let's spend some more time together in this life before we start making commitments like that." She then pulled Leonard into a kiss.

:::::

Spock sat upright and moved to the edge of the bed. He did not break eye contact with Skylar as he did so. "There is a lot to consider now." His voice was deep and almost strained. "Things have ... changed."

"They have," Skylar replied sadly. She looked down at her lap.

"Skylar," Spock started, "How do you feel?"

Skylar eyed him. "Like complete shit, honestly."

"I know how you feel."

"I don't mean physically, Spock. I mean I feel dirty and like the scum of the earth." She scooted closer to the edge of the bed and stared at him with eyes brimming with tears. "I'm going to cry," she said suddenly and nervously laughed. Wiping away a rogue tear with her knuckle, she continued with a blatant effort to not sound so affected. "You can walk away, Spock. I don't know if I could live me after what has happened."

"As I have already stated, I am well aware of how you feel," Spock reminded her evenly, and stood. "Jim has given me an account of what happened, and while we were mating, I saw it all in your mind."

Skylar stared up at him, her mouth now agape. "That's not exactly how I wanted you to find out about your girlfriend's infidelities, but at least you know the truth." She hung her head as the tears began to slide down her face mercilessly. "I fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me."

"As did I," Spock said quietly, and he took a seat beside her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Skylar shook her head. "It is apart of your biology. I have no excuse."

"On the contrary, being with me on a physical and mental level has given you an extent of my ailment, which is why I would not question you any should you decide that this is the path you do not want to take. I can understand how any human would find such a violent and disorienting time utterly illogical."

Skylar looked at him in disbelief.

"If you are to stay with me, this will not be the last time any of this should happen. It is apart of me always, like a parasite."

"Or symbiosis," remarked Skylar distantly.

Spock looked at her quizzically. "How anyone would deem the plak tow as anything beneficial to my existence is in dire need of further inquiry."

Skylar turned under his arm and wrapped hers around his naked torso. "If you can accept me for how I am, as illogical and bitchy and absurd as I can be, who am I to cast you away from what makes you, you, Spock? Besides, this is now apart of me. We need each other." She paused, looking deep into his eyes. It was like seeing him as someone different, someone human. There was now life again within his dark eyes again, a life that was familiar in security and comfort … and love. "It can be just you and me," she told him softly. "It would be only you and me; no one else."

"What happened between Amelia and I, you and Jim - none of it should have transpired. You are my mate, I have given this to you. I should have set aside my responsibilities to Starfleet and explained this all to you, then none of this would have transpired. And if you are willing –"

Skylar interrupted, "As your mate, this is my duty to you. And I accept it."

Spock lowered his gaze just enough to indicate that this distressed him slightly. "I ... do not want to hurt you. Mentally or physically."

Skylar pressed her lips to his and they kissed. "I would do anything for you," she whispered to him. "Just as you would die for me."

Spock looked at her carefully.

"I saw it all, too," Skylar reminded him. "I know exactly how you feel."

Spock's finger tips went to the side of her face as though he wanted to mind meld with her, but he applied no pressure. Instead, he merely brushed her skin softly; he did not need to search her mind, for he already knew where her heart was. "I love you," was all he said before pulling her into a gentle kiss.

:::::

Over the next few days, the awkwardness between everyone involved in the Trill mishap began to wane. It began as a slow process. It was easy for Amelia to return to her bouncy self, and even she made Skylar laugh; Amelia had not allowed too much time to pass before she pulled Skylar aside and they had their own private heart-to-heart on the situation. Hardly any time passes between Bones and Spock bickering on the bridge with Jim readily in the middle to cool the tension, and just as Amelia was again gallivanting about the ship, Sulu seemed to come back to life as well. Jim found this most pleasing on the bridge, having those familiar smiles and childish barking between friends. Scotty was a tad harder to break from the issues. He seemed mad more so than anything, and his anger was heightened whenever he and Jim shared words. Jim felt bad about this because he knew that Scotty had been on the outside for a majority of the incident, and even though Bones had slipped back into routine (with the help of Amelia, of course), Scotty still seemed to be weary of Jim and Spock. Jim could not let this continue without some kind of resolution. To his fortune, he caught Scotty at the ship's bar one evening while most of the bridge crew was off duty. He had told Bones to meet him once his shift was done, which allowed him a little bit of time to catch Scotty on his last gulp of Scotch.

"Hey," Jim said evenly as he took a seat at the small table that Scotty sat at alone.

Gulping the Scotch down quickly, Scotty sat the glass down and gave Jim a curt nod. "Captain," he said and started to rise, but Jim caught his wrist gently.

"Please, can we talk for a minute?"

Scotty paused, his brows furrowed, and then slowly sat back down in the chair. "I suppose my manuals can wait, then," he remarked.

Jim cracked a small smile. "I know you're upset, Scotty," Jim started. "I just want to apologize for anything and everything I've done."

Scotty leaned in toward Jim, the Scotch still hot on his breath. "Look Jim, I don't know what to think. Everything went to shit faster than warp 10. One minute we're aiding Trill, the next we're trying to knock Mr. Spock off of Amelia. I don't understand any of it."

"It's a mating drive that is a part of Spock," Jim explained.

Scotty shook his head impatiently. "Gah, Captain, I get that. It's just …"

"Awkward," Jim finished for him.

Scotty shrugged. "I guess so. I just know that if I'd have been Leonard, I'd have killed the son of a bitch."

"If we always tap into our human emotions, Scotty, a lot of people and aliens alike would be dead."

Scotty looked at his glass as he began tapping its side aimlessly. "Look, I know I should just get over this. Everyone is fine. Everything worked out. Sort of. We failed our mission."

"I failed our mission, Scotty."

Scotty eyed him. "That's where you're wrong, Jim. You came back. That was the right mission, and the right thing to do."

Jim glanced away. "I just wish things would have gone differently. This is going to take a long time to really put behind any of us."

"Aye," replied Scotty with a nod as he considered this. "It is. It will with me. I won't forget what I saw running into that room alongside Bones, or having Spock knock me clear across a room."

Jim couldn't help but chuckle. "You two hauled ass."

Scotty smirked up at him. "Regardless, if Spock would have let me, he could have the pleasure of witnessing the fury of an angered Scotsman. We are particularly angered when we are utterly confused by the unexplained, odd actions of our peers."

Jim smacked him respectfully on the back. "I think the red shirt helps. I know who'll lead me front line, Scotty."

"Oh, sir, I'll be there, right behind Skylar." He nodded in the direction behind Jim, who turned to see Bones and Skylar walk in. Leonard continued on it towards them while Skylar began to stop, her eyes on Jim.

Jim turned back to Scotty but before he could say anything, Scotty cracked a sympathetic smile. "Go on, now, Jim. I'll be okay. With time, I will. She needs this conversation more than I do."

Leonard approached the table. "Skylar and I," he started to say, turning and realizing that Skylar was not next to him anymore. "Sky?"

"Come on, Bones," said Scotty as he patted the table top and he began to gesture over the bartender. "Want a round?"

Leonard looked at Jim as he began to stand from the chair and then turned back to see Skylar standing by the bar. "Yeah," he said, returning his look back to Scotty. "A good few ought to be the right dosage." He gave Jim a pat. "Good luck, man," he said quietly, and took Jim's seat.

Jim approached Skylar slowly. "Take a walk with me?" he offered, gesturing towards the doors. Skylar nodded and followed Jim out of the bar.

The corridor was mostly vacant except for a few crewmen in a hurry to return to their quarters. Jim and Skylar paid no attention to them as they occasionally glanced up from the ground. A row of windows lined the outer wall as they turned a corner, the bright stars lighting up the corridor as they extended out far beyond what either of them could fathom. It was here that Jim stopped as he turned to a window and stared out at the endlessness of space. Skylar hung back ever so slightly, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I stood on a balcony with Senator Dorraine looking out at a scene like this," he said toward the force field. "It's really beautiful."

"It is," Skylar replied. "It doesn't matter what explodes out here, what wars we make or weapons we fire – space just continues in the same natural beauty it's always had."

Jim looked at her. "I'm so sorry, Skylar," he said honestly.

"I tried to rape you, and you're the sorry one," she reminded him.

Jim turned to her and took her by the shoulders. "Out of everyone I failed, I failed you the most."

Skylar stared up at him. Finally, she sighed and walked away from him toward the window. "Jim, I know you. I know how you were and I know how you are. I can't honestly say that I would have thrown you off if our roles had been reversed."

"That's not any excuse."

"That's reality," she said. "Cold reality." She turned back toward him. "It's no surprise I singled you out as my resolution. I could smell your desire, and I needed that fulfillment. The fact that we have a past cemented what I was going to do."

Jim took a step toward her. "Does Spock know about our past?"

Skylar nodded. "I told him. I told him everything, even the things he would have never thought to or wanted to find out through mind meld. Regardless, you and I happened at a time before he and I were ever official. But what happened in the present correlates with the reason as why the past is so important in this." Skylar reached out and touched the side of Jim's face tenderly. "We were never meant to be, Jim. Not even something as powerful as pon farr could bring us together. You saved us both from making a connection that would have ultimately destroyed our futures."

Jim closed his eyes for a moment until Skylar retracted her hand slowly.

"I love Spock. With all of my heart, I love him. And with all of my heart, I know that you and I would not be happy."

Jim nodded. "I know. You and I are too much alike."

"Reckless, selfish, and easily bored."

Jim smiled. "Don't tell any of the potentials."

Skylar shook her head. "Some things never change."

"You wouldn't have it any other way," he said. Jim then pulled Skylar into a hug. "You know, I will always love you, Skylar. But you're right. We won't ever be in love."

Skylar looked up at him. "She's out there, Jim. The girl who's ready to be in love with you. And I'll always be here to warn her of your intentions." She released him and began to head back down the corridor. "As much as space scares me," she said over her shoulder, "it really is a beautiful thing."

As he watched her go, Jim smiled. Tuning back to the window, Jim watched as all of his worries began to slip through the force field, floating out into space where no matter how large they manifested or not, they would not affect the beauty beyond the window.

The end.