A/N: He he now time for the summary :D. I thought of this story after reading the mass of speculation of the WFCTGIO regarding the upcoming surrogacy plotline. This story is an AU based on the theory that if Roxy was to become pregnant with Christian's baby then Syed would be sidelined and what might happen because of that. This is pure speculation designed to create as much drama as I can fit into a fic :D.

Italics represent events in the past

Chapter Two

Syed. It was always Syed, never Sy. Christian was the only person to call him that. In a way he was glad David never called him that since it was a name that belonged solely to Christian, it kept them connected even though they weren't together.

"Syed?" He heard David ask again, pulling him away from his thoughts.

"Sorry?" He replied.

"I asked what have you got there?"

"Oh, it's just a letter from a friend. He sent me a picture of his baby," Syed flashed the photo at David to show him quickly. "He's just giving me an update on how they're doing."

"That's nice of him. I don't suppose I've ever met this friend," he pushed Syed for an identity; trying not to sound jealous but failing.

"No, you've never met him. I haven't seen him for about a year, not since I moved away," he half lied. He had seen Christian since but since they hadn't actually spoken it didn't count. "I should send him a card or something to congratulate him."

"Sounds like a nice idea. I have to go to work so I'll see you tonight," Dave leaned in and kissed Syed before grabbing his jacket and heading out the door.

Once he was gone Syed opened the letter and read it.

Sy,(That name again. Always that name)

I need to see you, please. If you're willing can you call me so we can arrange to meet? You know the number.

Love you always

Christian

Syed felt his heart lurch into his mouth. He had not been expecting this. After the way they had left things he had never expected Christian to ever contact him again. He had mixed feelings about this. On one hand, he wanted to see Christian, to find out how he was and what he was up to. On the other hand he didn't want to get into another fight with him which would make him feel any worse than he already did. He turned his eyes to the photograph Christian had included. He was sitting on the sofa in his flat, the sofa they had spent so much time together on when they were a couple. In his arms was a small baby, obviously a girl from the pink clothing. He had a huge smile on his face, he looked so happy to have the child he had dreamed about. Syed smiled softly to himself, allowing himself to be lost in the moment before he had to face the reality of the situation.

Should he see Christian? Should he allow himself to be put in that vulnerable position again? It had taken him long enough to even start to get over the man he was head over heels in love with and he was afraid that seeing him would only just stir up a lot of feelings that he didn't want to feel. He didn't want to meet up with Christian only to have his heart broken once again. He couldn't take the pain anymore. He couldn't decide.

"You're not happy," Christian observed, his eyes filling up with tears.

"I'm not happy," Syed confirmed sadly. "I haven't been for a while."

"Can I do anything to make you change your mind?"

"There's nothing you can do. It's too late for that."

The fight had been vicious. They had ripped into each other until they were both exhausted and did not have the energy to fight any longer. Now they just sat opposite each other, watching the disintegration of their relationship.

"I can't make it better?" Christian asked.

"I wish you could but you can't. It's been going on for so long. I know you didn't mean to do it but you really hurt me. You went behind my back, rushed into something without thinking and you kept me out of the loop at every point. Do you know how it feels? I was pushed out of my own relationship to the point where I felt you weren't even my partner, that I didn't count for anything. I love you, Christian, I really do but I can't do this anymore. I can't just sit by and watch us destroy our relationship so I think it's best that I leave."

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do." Syed replied, allowing the tears to fall down his face. "I just can't stay."

Syed picked up his phone and scrolled through his contacts until he came to Christian's name. Even though they had split up Syed couldn't bear to delete his name from his mobile. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply before he pressed the dial button. He held the phone to his ear and waited for Christian to answer.

"Sy," Christian answered, making Syed's heart stop. It had been a year since he had heard that sexy voice and it still had the same effect on him it had back then.

"I got your letter," he responded, hoping he didn't sound like a complete idiot. "That's a lovely photo you sent."

"Thanks," Christian sounded proud at the compliment. "And thanks for getting in touch."

"So... You want to meet?"

"Yeah. I wanted to speak with you and clear the air. We didn't exactly part on the best of terms."

"I know," Syed sighed. "Where do you want to meet?"

"Not Walford. I don't want to stir anything up."

"I agree," Syed didn't particularly want to go back, too many bad memories. "There's a cafe near to where I live. We can meet there," he suggested.

"Sounds perfect. What time?"

"How about one?"

"I'll be there."

"Okay. I'll see you later," Syed said and then hung up the call. He didn't have a good feeling about this but he was going to go ahead with it. He at least owed Christian that.

Syed took a deep breath before he entered the cafe. He wanted to make himself seem more confident than he actually felt. He could see Christian sitting at a table when he glimpsed through the window. He looked good. Really good. It just made Syed feel even more nervous. His shaky hand reached out and grabbed the handle of the door and he pulled it open in preparation to enter.

Christian stood up from his seat when he saw Syed enter the cafe and he felt his heart skip a beat. He hadn't seen Syed in so long. He smiled as Syed approached him and he greeted his former lover.

"Hi," Christian greeted nervously, his eyes never leaving Syed.

"Hello," Syed smiled back before he took the seat opposite Christian. "How've you been?"

"I've been good, yourself?"

"Yeah, I've been good too," Syed replied. So it had come to this? Their entire relationship had been reduced to polite chit chat about nothing in particular. It made Syed sad to think that. "So what did you want to see me about?"

"I just wanted to see you," Christian confessed. "I wanted to know how you are and what you've been up to. I missed you."

"I missed you too. A lot," Syed told him. "There were days when I would wonder if I did the right thing by leaving."

"You did what you thought was best. I can't blame you for that."

"But there has to be a reason why you wanted to see me especially after a year. Why did you write to me?"

"I wanted to see you from the moment I left. I wanted to apologise for being such an idiot. I wanted to say sorry for treating you the way I did, you didn't deserve that."

"It's water under the bridge. I'm not angry at you anymore, I just wish you had talked to me."

"I was wrong I know that. I just got so wrapped up in my own thing that I didn't consider how you felt about everything. The night you left I said some awful things and it's been on my mind for a year and I regret every single minute of it. Mostly, though, I regret not telling you I was sorry."

"We both said a lot of hurtful things that night, not just you and I regret them too. But we can't take them back so there's no use dwelling on the past. It's not going to change anything."

"I know. I'm not trying to go back to what we had, I just... I just wanted to see you," Christian's voice cracked as he spoke. Syed knew it was time to change the topic.

"The photo you sent was sweet. What did you call her?"

"Laura."

"That's a nice name. She's beautiful."

"Thanks," Christian smiled and looked proud at Syed's compliment.

"Like her dad," Syed smiled softly back. He suddenly started to feel very uncomfortable but he didn't know why. Actually, if he was honest with himself, he knew exactly why he felt uncomfortable but he wasn't particularly feeling in an honest mood. "I should go." He told Christian as he abruptly stood up, he need to get out of there before he did something he would regret. "I need to get back."

"Okay," Christian replied sensing Syed's unease. Even after all this time he could still read Syed like a book. He had always been so open to Christian even when he was lying to himself. "I'd like to see you again."

"I don't know if that would be a good idea. We're not together anymore, it might be too awkward." It might be too hard, Syed thought but didn't say that out loud.

"Can we try it? As friends? You never know, it might work out for the best."

Syed paused for a moment and thought about what Christian was asking. Could he put himself through that again? Could he risk his heart once more for the man he loved? He couldn't deny it was what he wanted, he just didn't know how easy or hard that would be. "Okay," he said uncertainly. "I'd like that."

"Great. You should visit and meet Laura. She'd love you."

"I'd like to meet her but let's take one step at a time. We do have a lot to catch up on."

"Yeah, let's not move too fast."

"There is one thing I'd like to know."

"And what would that be?"

"How did you find out my address? I never told you where I was living."

Christian grinned mischievously. "It's a secret."

"Did you ask Tam?"

"How'd you guess?"

"He's the only one I told. He's the only one who cares where I am."

"I care."

"I know," Syed told him, the air heavy with regret. "I really need to go now, I have some things I need to take care of."

"I won't keep you any longer. Call me if you want to catch up."

"I will," Syed nodded as he turned to leave. Once he was out of the door he rushed away as quickly as he could. He didn't want Christian to see him cry.

The door slammed shut, breaking the deafening silence of the flat. Syed leaned against the wood and sank to the floor, his head in his hands. He felt the hot tears stream down his face but he didn't wipe them away.

He didn't think it would be that hard to see Christian again. He'd managed to stay composed for their meeting but now he was falling apart. He hadn't lied to Christian when he'd told him he was no longer angry with him but the meeting had opened a lot of old wounds that Syed would have preferred to stay closed. All those old feelings from a year ago had been dragged kicking and screaming to the surface and they hurt just as much now as they had then.

Despite that, Syed knew that he had to see Christian again. He had made the decision to come back into his life and he would be damned if he let Christian go again. Syed wondered if he was a masochist after all. It certainly wasn't going to be easy.

He jumped up from his spot on the floor when he heard the key turn in the lock and he hurried into the kitchen, running the tap so he could wash the tears away from his face.

"Syed?" He heard David call out.

"I'm in the kitchen," he replied, trying to keep his voice even. "I thought you were at work," he said as David entered. Syed didn't turn to face him. He didn't want him to see his face.

"Yeah I was but I left some paperwork so I had to come back for it. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Syed replied but it was obvious from his shaky voice that he wasn't. David noticed and pulled him towards him into a hug.

"What's wrong?" David asked as he wrapped his arms around Syed's waist.

"Nothing, it's nothing. I'm just being stupid."

"Something has to be wrong to make you cry like this. Is it about that letter you got this morning?"

"It just brought up some things I didn't want to think about. It's nothing really, just something I have to figure out on my own."

"Okay but if you want to talk about it you know where I am."

"Thanks," Syed smiled as he pulled away from the hug. "I appreciate it."

"I'd better get back, don't want to miss that meeting."

"Don't let me keep you," Syed said as he wiped the fresh tears away from his face. "I'll cook us dinner for when you get home tonight."

"And I'll do the cleaning up afterwards," David grinned and gently kissed Syed goodbye before leaving.

It all felt wrong, Syed realised. It should be Christian teasing him about his messy cooking, not some stranger he hadn't even known a year ago. It should be Christian he woke up next to every morning and went to bed with every night. It should be Christian sharing his life. He needed to fix things between them. He needed to know if there was still a chance they could be together.

"Goodbye Christian," Syed said sadly as he picked up his bag. It was sad that he could fit his entire life into one bag. "Take care."

"You too," Christian replied although he didn't look Syed in the eye.

"I hope everything goes well for you. I hope you get what you want."

"What if what I want is you?" He asked back, anger flaring up inside him once more.

"After tonight?" Syed replied just as angrily. "You can't even say that after what you said to me."

"Goes both ways doesn't it?"

"I'm not going to stay here and listen to you tear me apart again," Syed yelled as he forcefully pulled the door open. "Don't try to call me," he said finally as he slammed the door shut and stormed down the stairs, tears streaming down his face as he left his old life behind leaving Christian sitting alone in the flat, crying at the death of their relationship.