A/N: Here's the next chapter. Planning on taking future chapters in a different direction. Might get a bit more angsty in future but there's a happy resolution in this chapter :D

Chapter Four

"Stop putting words in my mouth," Syed yelled, his blood boiling in his veins. "That is not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Christian shouted back just as harsh. "Tell me because it sounded pretty obvious to me. You don't want this baby."

"I never said that. I said that I wasn't happy with feeling left out."

"It didn't sound that way."

"That's because you're not listening. You haven't listened for months. You just went ahead and did whatever you wanted and you never even gave me a second thought."

"That's because I thought it's what we wanted."

"No, it's what you wanted. I had reservations from the start but you wouldn't let me voice them. You didn't consider how I felt at any point," Syed felt like screaming with frustration. They had been fighting for what seemed like hours yet neither was willing to listen to the others point of view.

"Then how do you feel?" Christian sniped.

"What does it matter now? It's not going to change anything, it's not going to make things better. It's too late for that."

"Sounds like you've already made up your mind. Do you even want to be here anymore? Or do you just want to blame me for all the problems you're having and run away? Tell me, Sy, I really would like to know."

"Fine," Syed said. "I feel trapped, I feel ignored. I feel as though nothing I say counts for anything and at this moment I'm wondering what I'm still doing here. I can't take this anymore, Christian. I wake up in the morning and I feel like crying. I'm tired of the constant sniping we do at each other. We haven't talked in months, not properly anyway."

Christian visibly softened when he heard what Syed was saying. He honestly hadn't realised that Syed had been so unhappy with the way things were.

"I have no-one to talk to about this, Christian," Syed said sadly. "I feel so alone," he sat down at the table and rested his head in his hands. Christian sat down opposite him, resisting the strong urge he had to gather the younger man up in his arms and hug him tight."

"You're not happy."

Looking back, Syed hadn't been happy. He'd been downright miserable in fact. It all seemed so insignificant now, after a year had passed and so many things had changed. It's funny, how one thing can make you question everything about a relationship. A year ago, an unborn child had pushed Syed into leaving the first relationship he had put his entire soul into and now he was considering how to get all that back.

He couldn't believe Christian hadn't told him about the cancer sooner. It really was a testament to how bad the state of their relationship was when Syed had left if Christian was willing to go through something like that alone. He wished he hadn't left now, but hindsight was twenty/twenty as the saying goes.

It had been easy to break up with David, quick and clean with the minimum amount pain. A week had gone by and Syed didn't even feel sorry that he had done it. He been on the phone with Christian pretty much every day since then and the distance between them was almost killing him inside. He desperately wanted to be with Christian again but he just didn't know how to broach the subject.

Christian almost broke his neck rushing from the shower to grab the ringing phone. Cursing loudly as he grabbed the phone, he answered sounding slightly angry.

"Hello," he answered, making it quite clear to the person on the other end that he was not pleased.

"Are you okay? You sound annoyed," Christian swore inwardly when he heard Syed's voice on the other end. He didn't want to scare him away.

"I'm fine, just fell over trying to get to the phone," he replied.

"Sorry," Syed apologised.

"It's not your fault. So, what can I do for you Syed Masood?"

"I wanted to talk to you," he replied hesitantly.

"Talk away," Christian grinned.

"Ever since you wrote to me and asked me to call you I've been thinking about you none stop and I need to tell you this otherwise I'm going to go crazy."

"What is it?"

"I've spent this last year trying so hard to stop loving you. I thought I could and I thought I was but then I saw you again and I realised I can never stop being in love with you. A year ago I made the biggest mistake of my life and I don't know how I can make it right again. You haven't any reason to want me back and I don't expect you to but I just needed you to know that I love you and I always will."

Christian was floored by what he had just heard Syed tell him. He had never expected in a million years for Syed to tell him that and he didn't know how to reply.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," he heard Syed say before he hung up and Christian could only hear the dial tone.

Christian's heart skipped a beat as he processed what had just happened. Syed still loved him. This was the best thing he had heard in a long time, maybe there was a chance for them to get back together. He had to physically stop himself from bolting out the door to find Syed.

After the initial joy, the crippling doubt set in. What if he didn't really want to get back with him, what if he was just saying it to get things off his chest? The thought made Christian feel sick. He had to know what Syed really felt. Grabbing his jacket he headed for the door.

He had to see Syed now.

Christian knew it was a bad time when he walked through the door to find Syed huddled up on the couch. He did not look happy. There were tear tracks marking his face and his breathing was ragged.

"What's wrong?" Christian asked, moving towards Syed, intending to comfort him. Syed moved away.

"I saw my mother earlier."

"What did she have to say?" Christian sighed. Some days he wished Zainab Masood would just disappear.

"She said we were disgusting. She said it wasn't right for two homosexual men to raise a child together. She told me that she was ashamed of me."

"Don't listen to her, Sy; she's just saying that to get a rise out of you."

"She has every right to be ashamed of me, I've done nothing but hurt her and dad. Every choice I've made has gone against what they believe in. What I believe in."

Christian almost jumped back. It felt like Syed had just stuck a knife in his chest. He'd had no idea that Syed really felt like that.

"Are you saying that you think being with me is something to be ashamed of?"

"No," Syed sighed. "I don't know what I think anymore. My head is so turned around, I feel so confused and I don't know what to do."

"Then why don't you try and sort it out in your head then and I'll be waiting for your thoughts once you do," Christian retorted, harsher than he'd intended but he just felt so frustrated at Syed.

"Don't be like that."

"Like what? Upset that my boyfriend thinks it's a mistake for us to be together? What else aren't you happy about? Roxy is pregnant with our child, maybe we should air our grievances before the baby actually comes along."

"I don't want to argue with you."

"Then what do you want Syed?"

"I want to be left alone. I want to have some peace and quiet. I don't want to think anymore. I'm tired of talking. I'm tired of listening to you and Roxy bang on about the baby, it's all you talk about nowadays."

"That's because we're having a baby."

"Who is? You and me or you and Roxy because you never include me in any of your conversations."

"What?"

"You say it's going to be our baby but you never act like it. It's always you and Roxy. I feel like an outsider in my own relationship and it's making me regret agreeing to this in the first place."

"So you don't actually want this baby at all?"

"Stop putting words in my mouth," Syed yelled, his blood boiling in his veins. "That is not what I meant."

Syed seriously regretted phoning Christian now. He had never felt so humiliated. He'd poured out his feelings and declared his everlasting love for Christian and he hadn't said anything in return. How could he have been so stupid?

He needed to get out of the flat for a while. He needed to take a long walk to try and forget everything going on. He grabbed his jacket and headed out.

It was raining, unsurprisingly. Syed was glad of it, the lousy weather matched his current mood. He simply turned his collar up and continued walking as the large raindrops pelted down on his head, soaking his hair.

He was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn't see the person come up behind him.

"Syed," the voice called out. Syed ignored it, not wanting to believe who it was. He continued walking. "Syed," the voice called out again. "Wait up."

Syed stopped and turned. He was face to face with a soaking wet Christian. His heart stopped at the sight of him.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere in particular."

"You hung up before you gave me a chance to talk."

"About that... I'm sorry I said those things to you. It wasn't fair to put all that on you, I shouldn't have."

Christian walked up to Syed, quickening his pace with every step. "I've been waiting for a year for you to say those things," he told Syed as he wrapped his arm around Syed's waist and pulled him close.

Christian pressed his lips against Syed's. It felt like heaven. He ran his fingers through Syed's rain tangled hair not ever wanting to let him go. After what seemed like an eternity he pulled away slightly, breathing heavily.

"How about we take this inside?" He said breathlessly. Syed could do nothing more than nod dumbly and allowed Christian to take him by the hand as he led them back towards Syed's flat.

A/N 2: You're going to have to use your imagination for the next bit, I can't write smut :D