Have you ever found your heart arguing with your head? Yea? Me too.

Ashley tends to rock the boat between my heart and my head. My heart is screaming you love her and my head is whispering that's true, but its okay not to be with her right now. It's not the right time.

I let Ashley sleep until it was time for school to end for the day. And now we are on our way to her house to drop her off.

"Thank you." Ashley says when I park the car in front of her house.

"Yea…" I watch as Ashley reaches for the door handle.

"Um…" She stops her movements and sighs while sitting back into the car seat. "I…I miss you."

"Ashley." I sigh and look out my driver window. We've been down this road before.

Ashley and I dated for almost a year until some things got between us and I decided we should break up…give each other space. That was one of the hardest decisions of my young life. My heart is still with her, but my mind is thinking of our future.

"I know." She shakes her head. "I know, I'm just…I don't know." I stay quiet while she sorts out her thoughts. Minutes goes by before, Ashley turns her body completely to look at me. "What are you doing on Friday?'

"I don't know. " I frown at her question. "I mean, I usually hang with Erin…" She rolls her eyes when I mention Erin's name. "Stop doing that."

"What?" She smiles innocently at me.

"You know nothing's going on between Erin and me." I say getting a little upset. "Even if it we're…"

"Don't." She cuts me off. "I know your free to see whoever…I don't need you to remind me," She sighs and leans her head back into the passenger window.

"Yeah…"

"Will you go to the movies with me Friday night?"

"I don't know…"

"Erin?"

"No." I roll my eyes. "Gosh…Ashley…we just talked about this…"

"Baby…I was just joking."

"I'm not your baby." I cross my arms over my chest, a clear sign that I'm uncomfortable with this conversation.

"I'm sorry Spencer." Ashley says softly. It gets me to look back at her. "Really…" She uncrosses my arms and takes my hands into hers. "I miss you. Come to the movies with me…please."

"Ok."

That was a couple of days ago and now I'm sitting in my kitchen with Erin. I decided now is a good time to tell her how Ashley asked me to go to the movies with her.

"You said yes?" I nod. "I'm disappointed Spencer." I open my mouth to speak but Erin continues before I can. "Did you guys sleep together when you skipped school?"

"No." I sigh. "It's not a big deal Erin. It's just the movies." I shrug.

"Spencer…"

"No." I put my pencil down and look across the table separating us. "I miss her." I whisper. "Erin I love her and it's not something I can just turn off."

"I know that." She sits up straighter in her chair.

"I know you don't like her," I start. "She's not fond of you either, but she tries because she knows you mean a lot to me. So please Erin, understand that Ashley's means a lot to me."

"I just don't want you to get hurt." I smile even though I feel like crying.

"Too late."

"Hi." I smile to myself when she gets into the car and kisses me on the cheek.

"What's up?"

"Don't you think it's kind of tacky to invite someone out and then call them to ask for a ride?"

"No…it's just you." She laughs and changes the radio station. "Plus it isn't like this is our first date or anything."

"This isn't a date."

"Really?"

"I'll pay for myself." The rest of the car ride to the theater is silent.

When we go to order our tickets Ashley pays for both. I try to argue but she refuses to listen and feeds me the "friends pay for friends sometime" line. But I do manage to get her to let me pay for my own refreshments.

"Your face looks better." I whisper to Ashley sometime during the boring part of the movie.

"Yea…it still feels like shit though." She chuckles.

"I had fun tonight." I tell her.

"You sure this isn't a date?" She steps closer. "Because you sure are saying all the right things."

"Right," I roll my eyes. "Keep dreaming kid." I laugh and push off of the car.

"Come here." She opens her arms. "It's just a hug Spencer. Damn." She says in frustration to my hesitation.

"Good night Ashley." She let me go and stares at me for a few seconds before trying to lean in and kiss me. I turn my face so the kiss lands on my cheek.

"Ash,"

"Ugh…this is soo fucking frustrating." She says and steps away. "Sorry."

"No you're not." I shake my head. "I have to go." I start to walk around to the drive side of the car.

"Really…Spencer, I'm Sorry. Don't be mad." She grabs the door to keep it from shutting. She moves her body between the car door and the car.

"I thought we were having a good night Ashley, than you had to go and do some stupid shit like that."

"I know." She sighs. "I'm sorry." She steps back and closes my door for me. I watch her walk back onto the side walk.

"Good night." I say after rolling down the passenger window.

"Yea…good night." She speaks softly.

I see the longing in her eyes and that's when I know that my head better come on a little stronger or my heart is going to win this battle. Whether that's a good or bad idea…I don't know.