Wherever You Will Go – Part Three

(Hakkai's POV)

He doesn't say a word, just strides past me and into the inn. It stings more that it should; this obvious rift between us, and I feel the sudden urge to apologize to him. I've done nothing wrong, but it feels like I have. I should fix this, make it right, but I don't know how. We've never fought before, not like this, and I don't know how to cope wit this silence.

I didn't expect myself to be quite so affected by this entire ordeal, though I've always needed the normalcy that Gojyo brings to my life. It is only now that I realize just how dependent I am on him. It's sadly ironic, how things have changed. Kanan was the overwhelming presence in my life for so long, but slowly, Gojyo has taken her place. I see red eyes instead of green, a cocky smirk instead of a mournful smile. He doesn't know, he can never know, no matter how true it is.

The door to our room clicks shut and we're alone. It's just like any other room we've stayed in; same twin beds with threadbare sheets; same rickety furniture; same single window with a poor view. The monotony of it is enough to drive anyone mad, and now more than ever, I only want to go home.

Hakruyu flees his perch on my shoulder with a chirp and lands on the bed by the window, claiming it as ours. Even though I'm nearly faint with exhaustion, I dread sleep. It's impossible to remain aware of Gojyo's movements then, and more than anything, I fear the possibility of waking up to find Gojyo gone again.

(Gojyo's POV)

The entire walk to the room was silent.

And that was somethin' that was really gettin' on my fuckin' nerves.

I was so used to just bein' able to talk to him, and now, doin' that was damn near impossible. Hakruyu claims the bed closest to the window, knowing that was the one I usually went for. Now, there was no room to object, so I put my bag down on the bed closest to the door.

Hakkai wandered over to the bed, sat down and began petting Hakruyu.

Even though he acted all content, I could see that he wasn't.

Now seemed the perfect time for a shower.

I dug through the tattered bag I'd brought along with me, hopin' it'll last this entire journey. I only could fit about three outfits inside, and we rarely got the opportunity to do laundry. I removed a white tank top and some regular black, cotton pants…the usual shit I wore to bed.

I departed to the bathroom without saying anything.

I gave us a good twenty minutes apart.

But I doubt he'd be singin' a different tune after only twenty minutes.

Emerging from the bathroom, I tugged a hand through my hair, seeing that Hakkai was no longer on the bed, but standing by the window.

I didn't expect him to speak.

"Gojyo, I just want to know one thing…"

Okay. Shoot.

"…Why?"

I was stunned. I could find no words. My lips wouldn't move. My brain could not process a single thought.

When nothing was said between us for a good ten seconds, he continued.

I never thought Hakkai was capable of getting angry.

(Hakkai's POV)

I can't bear the silence.

Gojyo retreats to the safety of the bathroom, and I know he only wants to have some time alone. It isn't surprising, really; when it comes to confrontation, Gojyo deals with it nearly as poorly as I do. When the door shuts, I heave a sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat. I can't let this drag on much longer; I need to fix this.

I hear the shower turn on and twenty minutes later, I hear it screech off. Even I'm not aware of how I passed those twenty minutes; one moment I was sitting on the bed and the next I'm standing by the window, suddenly furious. He can't do this to me, it isn't fair. He can't do this to me without some sort of consequence. The anger I usually keep locked up tight is bubbling to the surface and it frightens me, honestly. My hands are shaking, so I stuff them into my pockets in the hopes of keeping them hidden.

"Gojyo, I just want to know one thing…" The words are coming fast and strong, and I can't stop them.

/Why why why why why./

"…Why?"

He's silent, and I can see it in his face that he's even a little offguard. I don't confront in such an outright manner, especially not with him, but this time I can't help it. When he doesn't speak, I barrel on.

"What possessed you to believe that…that your departure would go unnoticed? What sort of delusion twisted your mind into believing that we would be better off without you?" My voice is rising steadily, and I take a deep breath to calm it. "Do you understand, Gojyo, that you could have been killed?"

-End of Part Three-