So school has kept me very busy and although I wanted to make at least one more chapter before this one, I wasn't able to get to it. Sorry! ^^, So this is the beginning of the end I guess, but not to worry, I still got many ideas in my head that must be written! I thank all of my alerters and reviewers, its awesome to find notices lurking in my inbox! Anyway, on with the story! xD
I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist but that doesn't stop me from absolutely loving this pairing! After all, you can't spell EdWin without 'win'! -Horrible joke, I know...-_-"
Ch. 10 - Can't Say No
:)
Mom, Dad, I wish you were here. I miss you. She sighed.
But she refused to cry, she wanted to keep their promise and only shed tears of joy. It was hard though, the longer she looked at the two gravestones and the fresh flowers on them, the more she could feel the tears begin to well up in her eyes.
"Winry," came his voice from behind. "Mind if I join you?"
Suddenly, she was happy and grateful that Ed was there, to help her when she needed it most. To protect her. "Sure," she said with a small smile and patted the spot next to her.
He sat down and put an arm around her instinctively. As if he could sense her troubles. And he probably could, their situations being very similar. "You okay?" he asked, looking at the gravestones too.
"Yeah," she replied weakly and leaned her head onto his shoulder. "It's just, I miss them."
"Yeah, I know." He kissed her hair in hopes of comforting her. "You always will… because you love them and they love you. And that's something that no one can ever take away."
She smiled and let his strong arms pull her closer to him. His words touched her, they reminded her of the time she spent with her parents. In those days, Resembool seemed like the perfect place to be, she had her family, her best friends and all was right with the world.
"I still remember them very well," she smiled fondly. "Mom and Dad's smile whenever we'd come home from playing. Dad would carry me in his arms and spin me around," she said, causing them both to chuckle. "Then Mom would ruffle my hair and hug me too." She glanced at him, his eyes meeting hers as she spoke, "Your mom would always pat our heads whenever she saw us, remember?"
He looked away, but showed the tiniest hint of a smile. "Yeah."
"Do you remember the day you and Al proposed to me?" she said, trying to take him back to those happy times as well.
"Somewhat, Al jogged some of my memory last time. And while we were in Central, you told me the reason why you rejected us in the first place."
"Oh yeah, and then you threw a fit. What was it that you said? 'You can't judge a man by something he can't help' or something like that?" she snickered.
He scowled. "Well, it's true. You shouldn't decide whether to marry someone or not based on their height."
"I was five!" she defended. "And it also didn't help that I was always taller than you."
"Emphasis on was because I'm taller now, " he said triumphantly. "Now, you can't say no."
He realized what he had implied a second too late and looked away in embarassment as she gave him a curious gaze. "You know, even if you were still a shrimp, I wouldn't say no," she said smiling. "Not a couple years ago and not now."
Ed turned and stared at her dumbfounded. He wasn't sure how to respond and her azure eyes on his own wasn't making it any easier. He cleared his throat trying to find his voice again, but couldn't. And instead he kissed her cheek and brought her into a tight embrace, catching her by surprise. "I'm glad that… when I ask you… you won't reject me, Winry," he whispered in her ear, a bit nervous.
She smiled at his adorable awkwardness as she pressed her cheek to his. Winry placed her hands over his and changed the topic in order to comfort his uneasiness. "We should go visit your parents too, Ed."
He sighed and hesitated before he simply nodded in agreement. He let her go and stood up, giving her a hand. Once up, she took another bouquet of flowers that she had left near her dad's grave and handed it to Ed, who gave her a confused glance. Winry looked at the flowers in front of the two stones as she spoke, "Whenever I come and visit Mom and Dad, I also come and visit your parents." She turned to him, taking his hand and smiled.
"You come even when I'm not here?"
"Yeah," she said happily. "Your family and mine were practically one whole family, I can't just come here without spending some time with your mom and dad, whether you're here or not."
He smiled in admiration. "Thanks, Winry," he whispered as he brought her into a hug.
She hugged him back tightly and nodded in response. Once the embrace ended and Ed stood by her side with their hands still intertwined, she spoke, "Goodbye, Mom and Dad. I'll come and visit soon, I promise."
"Goodbye," Ed said, startling Winry. "We'll come and visit you soon." She looked at him with surprise but he ignored it and instead said, "Come on, Win." They headed just a few rows over to where his parents lay, side by side.
When Ed arrived to their resting place, he placed the bouquet on his mom's grave and laid down on the grass as he glanced at the two gravestones that stood there. He scowled at his father but smiled at his mother.
Winry gave him a confused look as she sat down next to him.
"Sometimes I like to lay here and go to sleep, in hopes that I…," he gave a sideways glance to one specific stone as he continued, "That I see Mom smile in my dreams." His words were barely audible, but she could clearly hear the pain and sadness in them.
She placed a hand on his chest for comfort, feeling his heart skip a beat at her touch. "I understand," she whispered in a soothing voice. "But, what about your dad, Ed?"
He closed his eyes and put his hands behind his head as he inhaled a deep and calming breath. "What about him?"
"Well, I thought you forgave him?" she asked cautiously.
His face turned into a frown. "No," he replied firmly.
Her eyes searched his face for any hint of actual resentment, but couldn't find any. She could hear the forced anger in his voice when he spoke about his father, but no real hatred. It was as if Ed had no real reason to dislike his father, yet he still did. Winry realized that it was probably his pride and stubbornness that wouldn't let him forgive Van Hohenhiem, even after death.
He could feel her eyes roaming over his face, as if she could decipher all of his secrets with a simple gaze. Ed opened his eyes to meet hers and the obvious question in them. Why?
"I just…" he closed his eyes again and sighed, defeated. He couldn't lie to those eyes as blue and deep as the ocean. He couldn't lie to her. And he had already kept too much from her during the last few years, always keeping her in the dark in order to protect her. But that had to stop. He knew that if he really wanted to spend the rest of his days with the girl he loved, which he did, then he would have to be honest. He would have to open up and let her in.
He would have to trust her completely, just like she trusted him.
"I… don't know. I'm not sure why I still can't forgive him," he confessed to her. "I guess it's because he didn't turn out the way I thought he would." He sat up, moving a little closer to her, their faces inches away as he met her gentle gaze. "He lived his whole life as the very stone Al and I were searching for and it made him immortal." Her eyebrows rose in surprise as she learned the truth about Hohenhiem for the first time, while he continued to speak. "But he hated being immortal, he hated having to see the people he loved most die while he lived on and that was his reason for leaving us and Mom. He wanted to find a way to become a mortal once again and went on a journey," he said quietly as he took her hands in his. "Still… He always loved us. Especially Mom."
She knew how difficult it was for him to speak about his troubles, how he always tried to solve things on his own. But now he wouldn't have to face problems alone, because now she would be there for him, always. She caressed his face, trying to ease the tension building up inside him.
Ed was conflicted. He was showing weakness in front of her, something he would never want to do, but letting go of everything he had kept bottled up in his heart was relieving. He felt more free and calm as he continued to confide in her, "I still remember when I delivered the message Mom left for him before she died… He started to cry." Ed clenched his fist and jaw. "I felt the pain too when I uttered those words to him, Mom's last words, but seeing him cry… I felt as if somebody had just kicked me in the stomach. I couldn't take it. That was when I realized that I'd been wrong about him, completely wrong, but I still didn't want to forgive him. Forgiving him would've meant that I had been holding a grudge for years without reason and I… I was…"
"You were too stubborn to let it go," she finished softly. He nodded, ashamed, and placed his forehead on her shoulder as she ran her fingers through his ponytail.
"I'm afraid he didn't forgive me for that," he said, his voice a bit muffled by her clothing. "Well, that, and the fact that I was always a complete jerk to him."
"Ed, your dad forgave you a long time ago," she said with a smile.
"How do you know? He probably still hates me and I wouldn't blame him."
"No, he doesn't hate you. Because he loved you. You said it yourself." He looked up to meet her sky blue eyes, "And when you love someone, you can't hate them, no matter how much you try sometimes."
He gaped at her, intrigued by her words. Ed was speechless. There was nothing he could argue against that logic. And he didn't want to either.
He wanted to believed her.
He stood and walked toward his father's grave where he sat on his heels. He stared at the name engraved in the stone and ran his fingers along the weathered letters. "I… I'm sorry… Dad," he whispered softly, the heavy burden on his heart suddenly lifted. And with one last hard look at the tombstone, he let go of all the turmoil inside, a wave of tranquility washing over him. He had finally forgiven his dad. And he hoped Winry was right.
Ed hoped he was also forgiven.
She just watched him from her spot, content that he had overcome one of his problems. Winry knew just how much mending Edward's heart would need after all that he'd been through during his journey and she hoped that this wouldn't be the last time she would be helpful to him in this kind of situation. Once he returned to where she was, he lend her a hand and, as she stood, she brushed the dirt off her clothes. But before she was done, she felt Ed's strong arms encircle her as he pulled her into a warm embrace again.
This embrace, however, was stronger and even though he didn't speak, he knew that Winry would know how much he appreciated her, how much she meant to him and how much he loved her with this simple display of affection. As he simply held her there, he was grateful. Grateful for having her in his life, grateful that she loved him. Edward couldn't imagine his life without Winry and he knew that he wanted to have her by his side for the rest of his life. Now, she was everything to him.
After all, she can't say no, he thought with a smile.
A/N - To be honest, I don't know about this chapter. I'm uneasy about it and it wouldn't let me sleep -no joke, these things stay in my mind and like to wake me up!-, but I wanted to end the fic a certain way and I needed a situation like this for that to happen. . . xP Next chapter will be pretty short, which is why I'm uploading it in a little while, plus it's sorta an extension of this! ;) After receiving several requests, I have decided to write up an epilogue about Ed and Winry in the future, with KIDS. YAY! x3 Hopefully it'll be longer than this! I'm still not done writing it!
Anyway, thanks for reading!