Dear Fanfictioneers,
Contrary to what you seem to believe, I don't go around bellowing "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" at all hours of the day and night. Also, it is spelled 'VIGILANCE.' No, seriously, it is. Furthermore, on the issue of spelling, is my name really that difficult? I mean, I might concede the point on 'Alastor,' but 'Moody'? And 'Mad-Eye'? I've known cats that could spell that. And no, I don't mean Minerva, so you can scrub your filthy little minds of that, too.
Sincerely,
Mad-Eye Moody
(Maddye-Mody, if that helps)
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
I'm going to level with you; I was not permanently emotionally damaged by taking out Bellatrix. I was a little upset for a while, but I'm pretty much over it. I made some eggplant parmesan, felt much better. Oh, and do leave my children and their spouses alone. You all know the truth now, I'm very scary when it comes to them. I will end you. So just watch it.
Sincerely,
Molly Weasley
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
I am not, nor have I ever been, a mentally healthy individual. Don't even try to fight me on that one. You really think I could have children and they'd be okay? The Mudblood's not my illegitimate lovechild. Drop it.
Sincerely,
Bellatrix Lestrange
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
I'm a category? Why? I don't want to be here unless my pairing is with Scarfy.
Sincerely,
The Sorting Hat
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
Look, I just teach Charms…I don't bother anybody…
Sincerely,
Filius Flitwick
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
Okay, you know what? Fred and Ange went to one dance together when we were fifteen, and they both hated it. Angelina loves me, I'm not a "replacement," so deal with it!
Sincerely,
George Weasley
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
I love sherry. Give me more of it. I don't need other characters. No pairings, stop the pairings. Give me the sherry.
Sincerely,
Sybil Trelawney
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
If Hermione punched Malfoy in the face, just what do you think I'd do to him? She's a lot nicer than I am. Keep him off of me.
Sincerely,
Ginny Weasley
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
Dost thou not know the meaning of the phrase 'expository background information'? For such is our purpose, and our natural place in the order of things. We care not for thy sordid affairs. Prithee, leave us where our bones do lie mouldering.
Sincerely,
The Hogwarts Founders
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
Wha's so hard abou' figurin' out the way I talk? Yeh have the books, don' yeh?
Sincerely,
Rubeus Hagrid
~xoOox~
Dear Fanfictioneers,
Oh my wizard god, STOP! ONE TIME! One time, I might have been very, very drunk, and I may have made out with Filch. I didn't say I did, I said I might have. Shut up.
Sincerely,
Rolanda Hooch
~xoOox~
dR fanfiktunnarrs,
sTop fllameing prepzz OMFG i hat u awwl u r jut JeAlsous bcus imm goffik sojussShutt da f*** upp mofoS I haf a hedake.
cincurly,
Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (im nt rilatd 2 gerarddw ay)
Mwahahaha I couldn't resist adding that last one in there... :) hehehe PLUS! Two AVPM jokes.