A/N: Sorry for the super late update! I'll explain later. Also, this is Ivan's POV and... *bangs head against wall* ANGST, ANGST, ANGST, ANGST.
"You're so cute, Ivan." I remember being told this so long ago… but I can't recall who said it to me. It could have been my mother, but it easily could've been Katyusha or the array of women that came to father's house. My mother left me just after I turned two, when father's mistress became pregnant with Natalia. She didn't leave by her choice. One day, father just told her that she wasn't needed anymore, for he had found another woman. He wouldn't let her keep me either, because he insisted that he absolutely needed a son. It's funny, he said the same thing to Katyusha's mother when he forced her to leave, only he made sure to give her an extra slap because she had given him a "useless daughter". Now all I have left from my mother is this scarf and an old, crumpled-up picture of her in high school.
Eventually, Natalia was born. Of course, father made her mother leave too, but for awhile, we were a "happy family". I remember playing board games and eating dinners together. And though father was almost always at work, he would always come home with lots of gifts and hugs for all of us. But that all changed around the time I turned six… the time when he introduced me to the "family business".
"Ivan, would you like to come and work with me?" Father asked me one day. I nodded and jumped onto his lap as he typed away on his computer. "That's good to know. You're becoming a big boy, Ivan." He picked me up off of his laugh and put me on the ground, and knelt beside me. "For this job, I'll need a son that is smart, headstrong and persuasive. Think you can do that?"
"Of course, da!" I replied, beaming. Unfortunately, I was incapable of meeting any of his requirements.
I found out that my father was the head of one of the most powerful families in the Russian mob, and as his only son, I would have to learn to take over after he's gone. I tried my hardest to do as instructed at his "work", but I could never satisfy his wishes. Whenever Nataila or Katyusha did something wrong, they'd get a single slap or get grounded, I, on the other hand, wasn't quite as fortunate. I would get beaten with bats and pipes like a helpless piñata, only because when I screwed up, I lost my father money. As time went by, and the jobs I got were more important, the "punishments" got worse and I was even denied of meals at times.
"Have a nice day," my father told us, giving us each a pat on the head. Katyusha and I were off to school, Natalia staying home because she was still too young. Father allowed us to go to a fancy school, but of course we weren't allowed to breathe a word about what went on at home. But it didn't matter to me. School was a liberation, a time I could be free from the worries of home and for once actually enjoy myself. At school, I was very social and made lots of friends easily. But… that didn't last long.
"Ivan, will you come into my office for a little bit?" Father asked one day after I had returned from school. I could tell by the fake smile on his face that something was wrong and that he'd probably take it out on me. I sighed and went in silently, knowing it was best to just get this over with.
"Ivan, do you know of a boy in your class with the last name Von Bock?"
"You mean Eduard?" I knew him well, as was he one of the first people to become friends with me. "He's really smart, da!"
"I'm sure he is." Father replied, without the slightest bit of interest. It was the tone of voice he used when something was strictly business. "Anyways, his father has a debt to pay. He's been late on payments recently, and I thought you could… persuade him to pay."
"What do you mean?" I asked. I tired to say it naïvely, so he wouldn't notice how nervous I was. I had a hunch what he would want me to do.
"Apparently beating Mr. Von Bock isn't enough to get his act together." He turned to look at me, his purple eyes glowing viciously… purple eyes that I inherited. "But maybe if his son got hurt…"
"What are you trying to say?"
"Oh come on, Ivan! No one's this stupid, not even you!" Father finally snapped. "I want you to beat up his kid!"
"Father…" I hated to go against what father said, because it only caused me pain. But I couldn't do that to one of my closest friends! "I can't do that! Eduard's my friend!" I saw my father's hand shoot towards me, and I shut my eyes to brace myself for the oncoming slap. It stung like it usually did, but I made sure to stand firm.
"I don't recall giving you a choice, Ivan." Father said, raising his hand again. "Listen to what your father says."
"Father, I can't! Please, I can talk to him, I promise I will!"
"That's not good enough!" He swung his hand down again, but I was unprepared this time and fell to the floor. He stood over me like an angel of death taking their newest victim.
"You don't talk back to me, you ungrateful child!" He kicked me in the ribs, causing me to gag. "Either hurt the kid, or I'll hurt you!" He stared back at me with his winter-cold glare, anticipating a response.
"I refuse..." I stared back at him as bravely as cold, my expression as blank as the white snow that fell outside. Without another word, he rained blows upon me again and again, too many to count. After what felt like an eternity, my father stopped.
"I'll tell you one more time, my disobedient child, do as I say!"
"…no…" That was it. He was so infuriated with my defiance that he didn't even talk to me any more. He just screamed and hit me like a wild animal. But I smiled. Soon I'd go numb and black out, and it'd be all over like it usually was when he went into an anger fit. But once again, I was wrong.
In a fit of anger, my father broke the empty vodka bottle on his desk into a makeshift knife. I didn't have enough time to move, nor the strength to. Father forced the shard into my chest, ripping my shirt and coat in the process. Like an artist, he carved the shape of a heart onto my chest. He stopped and I whimpered as he dropped the shard to the floor.
"Oh, shut up." Father said rather calmly. He smiled at me as he pulled his sleeve up, revealing a heart-shaped scar on his arm. "As the next leader of the Braginski family, you need to learn that having a heart is useless. Family, friends… they're all meaningless. Your sole purpose is to control others with an iron fist for your own benefit. You weren't meant to have a heart and to me… you're not even human."
I took his words to heart… or tried to, since I didn't have one. From that day forward, I no longer burdened my sisters by running to them when father hurt me. I no longer tried to make an more friends or even talk at school. I even did whatever father told me without a second thought. I beat up multiple people, including children my age or younger, and wasn't even fazed. The only person I ever showed any emotion towards was Natalia. She was young, and I didn't want her to have to face the evils of the world like I did. I doted upon her and gave her compliments and smiles whenever she passed. Bu in the end, my work turned to be more troublesome then my intention. She insisted that she loved me to death, and even attempted to join the family business just to get closer to me. That may explain why she's so violent all of the time.
Even though I listened and did whatever I was told, my torment did not end. Because I technically wasn't human, I didn't deserve emotions. I was given a white room so that I had to live in bland nothingness.
But… he couldn't keep me isolated forever. In school, I learnt of the beautiful landscapes of places all over the world that weren't covered in snow all year round. I even saw pictures of sunflowers… sunflowers, they're so beautiful. Without father's permission, I bought some paint from the store and painted my ceiling to look like a giant sunflower field. Of course, my dad beat me and denied me dinner that night, but he let me keep it the way it was, being too lazy to bother to paint it all back white.
Someday, I will live somewhere that's warm and filled with sunflowers.
However, the older I got, the harder that dream seemed to be obtainable. I have to do more and more work… I barely get to show up to school anymore. The crimes I am forced to commit are getting more and more heinous. And who knows how much longer it will be until I am forced to take a life…?
As Ivan told his story, he spoke monotonously, his face barren of any emotion. He didn't even look at Yao; instead he had his eyes shut as if replaying every single memory in his mind. Yao gaped at him, horrified of the events he had just heard of.
"Yao…" Ivan mumbled after a short pause. "I'm sorry."
"Huh? For what-aru?" Yao asked.
"Remember that night awhile ago when I made you stay over at my house?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"I lied. The trains were working that night and you could've gone home. I lied and made you stay because father isn't… mean to me when we have a guest."
"It's fine-aru." Yao smiled sadly at him. "I'm so… sorry."
"There's nothing you can do, da." Ivan finally opened his eyes and gazed at Yao. "It's too late for me."
"Don't say that!" Without thinking, Yao threw his arms around Ivan and squeezed tight. "I'm going to help you no matter what-aru!"
"Why?" Ivan asked, unwavering.
"Because we're friends! We help each other!" He buried his head deeper into Ivan's chest and smiled.
"What's so funny?" Ivan asked.
"Nothing. It's just that you have a heart beat-aru. You are human." With that, Yao could feel the Russian's large arms wrap around his tiny body. He looked up at Ivan, his purple eyes deluded with tears.
"You really are my friend, da…" Ivan mumbled. They continued their embrace for a few more moments Alfred and the others returned with the keys. Yao offered to return the coat to Ivan, but he refused, saying with a fake smile that it looked cute on him.
"Whoa! Why are you wearing Ivan's coat?" Alfred shouted.
"Zut alors! You two didn't-" Francis was smacked by Arthur before he could finish his sentence.
"Of course not, you git!" Arthur scolded. "Not everyone is horny all the time like you!"
"Ve~ You look cute in that, Yao!" Feliciano cooed.
"Damn, you're short." Gilbert commented.
The group of friends chatted happily as Ivan silently wandered away. Yao barely talked with the others, being far too busy trying to think of a way to help Ivan. But how? He had very little knowledge of gangs, but he knew that if he interfered too much, he could be risking his life.
But how much longer, Yao wondered, could Ivan possibly survive in conditions like that? I have to help him… before it's too late…
A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the late update! I usually write on the weekends, but last weekend while I was making sushi for four hours straight (long story) I caught a cold. It slowly got worse and I still kind of feel like crap, and I was waaaaaaaaaay too lazy to get up off my couch and write. Anyways... thanks for the reviews and faves as usual and... PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! If it's any consolation, I felt terrible after writing this. Anyways, Ivan's father will get what he had coming to him. OR WILL HE? *shot* Also, Eduard is Estonia, for those of you who don't know. He be a plot device. :)