Chapter 4
It was morning now and the golden hews were shining through the large arched windows in the hall Susan was walking in. She stopped at one of the large arches and looked out over the lands before her. Would they soon be her lands again? She knew that staying with Caspian would result in their almost immediate marriage; there was no doubt about it. Every king needs a queen, and a former queen herself, Susan was a most cherished candidate and Caspian's only choice. Then something frightening crossed her mind: what if all of this was moving too fast for her? What if she suddenly realized that this so called love was nothing more than mere infatuation and she wanted to return home? She had made her bed, now it was time to lay in it.
The departure ceremony would be starting in a few hours and Susan realized that the only people who knew she was not going to take part in the great departure were Lucy, Caspian, Alsan, and Caspian's tutor. She began to feel nausea rising into the back of her throat. Feeling lightheaded and dizzy, Susan took refuge in an empty room. The room looked to be nothing more than one of the many sitting rooms positioned all over the castle. With no warning Susan burst into heartbroken tears. Last night she was so sure of her decision and now she was second guessing everything she had ever wanted: the love of her prince, the love of her people, and the land she cared so much for. And she did not know how Peter and Edmund would take this harsh news. Growing more and more lightheaded Susan slumped down into a large plush couch and passed out into a sort of stress induced sleep.
"Susan?" a voice called, sounding far off in the distance. Susan's eyes fluttered open and before her knelt a very worried prince. "Are you alright my love?" said Caspian. "No Caspian, I don't think I am," replied Susan. "What's wrong? What can I do for you Susan?" asked Caspian. Susan was silent, the pain on her face was apparent. "Caspian I… I need to," Susan was choking on the words. The prince was now feeling a strange tension in the room. "Susan, you are worrying me. If you do not tell me what is wrong… I will fear the worst," he uttered. Silence fell over the room as Susan turned away, hiding the tears swimming in her eyes. "I need to be alone," cried Susan. These five words cut through Caspian like a knife. Without a word Caspian rose off the large embroidered carpet by Susan's feet and started towards the door, his heart breaking with every step. Then he was gone. Susan could hold it back no longer and the tears poured from her eyes like the current of The River Rush. She was in agony.