The Long Goodbye

Chapter Three

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Author Notes: Elliot and Olivia find a new way to be together. It's the way I've always wanted to see them together.

Liv stood at the kitchen island cutting up vegetables while Elliot manned the stove. They were making stir-fry together. Of their entire relationship all she could remember about eating with Elliot were restaurants and take out boxes. They had never done anything remotely like this. It was so domestic, so normal. She watched him working, the muscles rippling across his back as he rolled the oil around in the pan. She wondered what it would be like to live with Elliot and come home at night and make dinner together. Would she hop up on the counter and would he stand between her legs and put his hands on her waist as he kissed her? Would they laugh when dinner burned on occasion as they kissed and touched each other? She shook herself out of her thoughts. She was treading in dangerous territory and needed to get her wits together. This was her partner and her friend and he had never treated her any differently no matter how much she wanted there to be more.

"Okay, bring the vegetables over. The oil is just right."

Liv carried the cutting board over and stood next to Elliot as he scraped the vegetables into the pan. It felt new and yet familiar at the same time. Their shoulders touched and Elliot put his hand on the board just above hers. He stirred everything for a bit and Olivia watched with interest. He glanced at her sideways.

"It really is easy Liv. You can do this too. You want to stir it while I put the peanut sauce and sticky rice on the table?"

"Elliot Stabler. I had no idea you knew how to cook. What other secrets are you hiding?"

It was a poor choice of words. He gave her a funny look and she regretted the remark instantly. What if it set them back again? She thought they were making progress. She could feel Elliot's eyes on her.

"Relax Liv. You don't need to tiptoe around me. I'm a big boy and I did know you were attempting to tease me."

She looked up and found him smiling at her. She rewarded him with a smile in return and took the spatula he handed her. Their fingers brushed and she tried to focus on stirring the vegetables, but she was having a really hard time. He took over again after a few minutes and finished putting some sort of heavenly sauce on their concoction.

"Hey, grab the plates and I'll serve us up."

It was a great dinner and she was actually pretty proud of herself.

Elliot watched her shoveling the food in. He smirked to himself as he realized she was thinking about how great the simple dinner was. It occurred to him that Liv didn't do simple things much. That was a shame. It sort of tore at his heart to picture all the years of takeout and living alone. He remembered the day he came to check on her when she was sick and finding nothing in the fridge. She said once that she had spent her whole life alone. He didn't sleep that night. He had tossed and turned and fought with himself about going over to her apartment so she wouldn't be alone. He vowed to make sure that from now on she experienced a lot more things like making dinner. Then it hit him. He had just thought about the future for the first time in nine months.

They stood side by side at the sink afterwards washing up the plates and other dishes. He liked doing the dishes with Liv. He let himself brush up against her more than once. The evening was going great and he didn't want it to end.

"You wanna go for a walk in Central Park? It won't be dark for a couple more hours."

Liv hung the dishtowel back over the rod. She wasn't sure if this was going to be a good walk or a bad walk, but something in Elliot's voice reassured her.

"Okay. That sounds good. Let me get my sneakers."

Five minutes later they hit the street and walked the four short blocks to the park. Elliot had walked on the outside in a traditional show of male protection. His hand rested on her lower back as they pushed their way through the crowds. Even at 6:00 at night the sidewalks were still full. It was nice for once to not be in a hurry to be some place; they just took their time. Once they crossed the street and headed into the park, Elliot dropped his hand from her back. They were only a few steps into the park when he reached for her hand. Liv looked down in surprise and then up into Elliot's face. He was watching for a reaction.

"Is this okay with you?"

He was making an effort.

"Yeah. It's nice actually."

Elliot smiled again. She watched for those few fleeting smiles and relished each one. They walked along in silence for a long time. After about a half hour, they came to a bench she knew well. She had sat on it once a long time ago to catch a perp. She wondered if Elliot remembered.

"Want to sit for a few minutes?"

She nodded her head. He let go of her hand when they sat down, but he put his arm protectively along the back of the bench, his hand just touching her shoulder on the other side.

"Remember this bench?"

"Sure I do."

He sat quietly for a minute.

"I was worried that day."

"Yeah? I wasn't."

"Why not?"

She hesitated to say anything. He urged her.

"Why not, Liv?"

Her voice was very quiet and he had to lean in to her to hear.

"I knew you were right there in the bushes watching over me. I knew I'd be safe."

Elliot looked at her with a mixture of disbelief and awe.

"Don't look so surprised El. I always knew you had my back."

Elliot's voice went soft too and it was full of emotion then.

"That's…that's why I shot Jenna. I was afraid she would turn like she did when she killed Sister Peg and shoot you. I thought I was going to…to lose you Liv."

Liv reached for his chin. His head was down and she could see tears falling. She turned his face towards hers and looked deeply into his eyes.

"You did protect me Elliot and everyone else in the room. You did your job and shot a shooter before she could hurt anyone else. It's a shame she was a kid, but you did the right thing. Don't ever forget that El."

She slid both hands up to cup his face and swiped his tears away with her thumbs. They were oblivious to the people moving past them. It was their moment and Liv was going to make sure he understood. He looked devastated and he shrugged helplessly and tried to look away from her. She brought his eyes back to meet hers. When he did, he looked so scared, so afraid for her to see him so vulnerable. She couldn't stop herself if she tried. She leaned in and kissed his tear-streaked cheeks, first one side and then the other. He blinked at her and a shudder ran through his body. She pulled him into a hug and they just sat on the bench embracing each other as Elliot calmed down.

He pressed his face into her neck and breathed her in. That smell that was so uniquely hers assaulted him. All those long hours together in the car, in the cribs, leaning over a computer or a task board, he remembered that smell. It grounded him. This moment meant more to him than any time in their twelve years as partners. If they had only been able to comfort each other all those years together it would have been different. It took him several minutes before he realized he had crossed too many lines in one short evening. He pulled back and ran his hand over his face.

"Sorry, Liv. I guess I didn't see that one coming."

"It's okay. I'm glad you told me. It means the world to me that you trusted me like that."

"Guess we better head back."

He stood and took her hand to pull her up. As he started back to the apartment he laced his fingers between hers and squeezed. Olivia let out the breath she had been holding. He was letting her in and he wasn't pushing her away. She squeezed back and they held hands all the way back home.

The ride up in the elevator was sileny, but this time it wasn't uncomfortable. Elliot opened the door and headed into the kitchen.

"How about a movie and some ice cream? I bought your favorite."

"Pistachio?"

"Of course."

He gave them both three scoops and they settled in to watch Iron Man. It was a personal favorite for both of them. The movie was fun. They sat close to each other on the couch. It was companionable without being too intimate. Liv started yawning during the credits.

"Can I have the bathroom first?"

"Sure."

Elliot popped out the DVD and headed into the kitchen to wash out the bowls. When he was done he waited on the couch for Liv to finish. After she had dressed in a pair of sleep pants and a tank top, she stood in the doorway to his bedroom and watched him just sitting there. He was resting his head on the back of the sofa, but he looked relaxed. She hoped that meant he would have a restful night.

"Okay you, you're in my bed. Clear out."

She surprised Elliot and he almost jumped off the couch.

"I…I…"

"Lighten up Stabler. I'm joking. Think you'll be able to sleep tonight?"

"I hope so."

Elliot met her halfway between the couch and his bedroom. He looked down at her and offered a soft smile. She looked so cute in her sleepwear, no make up and her hair rumpled and natural. He suddenly realized he wanted to kiss her. That would ruin everything. He knew she'd run and he was just starting to feel happy for the first time in a very long time. He settled for a swift kiss on the cheek and a lingering hand on her shoulder as he headed to his room.

"Night Liv. Thanks for today."

"Any time El. I mean it."

Olivia headed to the couch and settled in. She slipped her hand up to touch the cheek he had kissed. She had never felt his lips before. They were soft and warm and she blushed just thinking about the intimacy they had experienced. Every touch was burned into her brain; the handholding, the kisses from her and him and the hug. She was on cloud nine as she drifted off to sleep. Her last thought was she could not lose this man again. She would do anything to keep him in her life.

It was around three AM when Elliot woke to a sharp cry from the living room. He was out of bed and by the couch in seconds. This time Liv was having a nightmare.

"Don't go! Please don't leave me! Elliot!"

He was stunned to find out the nightmare was about him. Tears were running down Liv's face in her sleep. He sat down on the edge of the couch and leaned over her.

"Liv. Liv it's okay. Wake up Liv. It's only a dream."

He reached up and smoothed her hair back. She breathing so hard and when he stroked the back of his hand across her cheek, she leaned into it. Her eyes opened and she realized he was there for real. Her body launched itself at him and he just held on for dear life. She pressed herself into his arms and wrapped her own around his bare back. Her face was pressed into his chest and she cried even harder. He held her and rubbed her back.

"You want to talk about it?"

She shook her head no and held him tighter.

"You want a drink of water?"

Again her head shook no and he thought he was going to lose the ability to breath if she squeezed him any harder. He decided to try to lighten the moment.

"Can I get a drink of water?"

"Leave me now and I'll kick your butt."

He chuckled and cuddled her to him.

"Now that I would like to see."

Liv finally leaned back and stared at Elliot's bare chest. Her eyes made their way slowly up to his face and she felt a blush coming on.

Elliot grinned at her reaction.

"You okay now?"

"Uh…yeah…I just…"

"Where was I going in the dream Liv?"

Her eyes went wide.

"What did I say?"

"You were begging me not to go. I'm sorry Liv. I'm sorry I left you. I…"

Liv searched his face. He looked so guilty. It was time to release him from all that guilt. She reached up and cupped the side of his face.

"It's okay. It is. I think we both needed a change. We did some amazing work together, but we both knew it couldn't last forever. Moving on was the right thing, it just happened in an unfortunate way. I don't blame you at all El. We survived it and we both came out the other side. It's time to start letting all the demons go. I promise to stay in your life if you promise to stay in mine. Let's work together to move foreword with our lives."

Elliot looked deeply into her eyes.

"I'm okay with that as long as that means we do it together. I want you in my life more than anything. I want it to be about us and not about the job any more."

"I can definitely get on board with that."

They looked into each other's eyes and smiled at the same time. Liv was sure their hearts were beating in sync with each other. She knew hers was about to burst out of her chest. If ever there was a moment, this was the one. They both moved at the same time and their lips finally closed the deal.

It was the most wonderful kiss either had ever experienced. It was the kind of kiss that you wait for all your life. It was soft and tender. It wasn't rough and wanton as both had often thought it would be if they ever did kiss. Instead it was full of love and promise and romance. Liv felt warmth spread throughout her entire body and she sighed into the kiss.

Elliot slipped his hands up into her hair and felt his anger and his guilt and his fear melting away. This was what he needed, had needed for so long now. Liv was his. He knew that's what he wanted. The fact that she wanted him too made his heart quicken and he thanked God and Kathy for giving him a second chance at life and at love. He would have to thank Kathy for what she did. He didn't even want to think about where he was heading when Liv found him. She always did find him in the end. They were partners and always would be. This time around it would take on a whole new meaning. He pulled back from the kiss and they looked into each other's eyes as they caught their breath.

"I don't ever plan on saying goodbye to you again Liv."

"If you ever try it again, plan on a very long goodbye."

He smiled and his lips claimed hers again.

Author's Notes: Anyone fancy an epilogue?