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"Say something to keep me from driving back there and reporting an alien sighting!" Edward scowled, hands gripping the torn steering wheel.

"What? You're stupid!" Bella gasped with nearly no emotion, as always.

"Thank you." Edward growled, stopping in front of a restaurant.

"The Fat Lady Sings?" Bella said, reading the restaurant's sign.

"It's the coolest thing! They have fat waitresses and everything!" Edward gasped, golden brown eyes wide.

As the two walked toward the door, decorated with two fat statues, Jessica and Angela walked out, talking.

"Oh my gosh!" Angela gasped, holding onto her clown nose souvenir from the restaurant.

Jessica began giggling so loudly and hysterically that everyone rolled their eyes.

"Um, just making sure Bella gets something to eat." Edward said. Lowering his tone, he added, "You know...skinny, skinny..."

"Edward!" Bella cried, slapping his arm. "Did you even think I would eat the crap they serve here?"

Edward yanked her into the restaurant and got a table for two. The tables were lines with balled-up napkins that all had "Fat" written on them. Bella shook her head as they sat down.

"What can I get ya, hon?" A voice smacked. It sounded like the combination of a southern accent and bubble gum.

The two looked up. Standing high above them was a gigantically large woman with large blonde hair and an order pad.

"Um, no thanks, but she sure would." Edward said with a nod toward Bella.

The waitress continued to flirt with Edward until she finally left with the order.

"Um, this may sound crazy, but I can read minds..." Edward said, clasping his hands.

"Alright then, Bubba. Blow my mind." Bella said, sitting back.

Edward squinted and said, "Hummmmm..."

A man with curly black hair sat in the back of the restaurant, twirling his fork around spaghetti.

"Man, I'm awesome." He thought.

"That guy thinks he's awesome." Edward said, with a proud glare at Bella.

"Are you sure? He's pretty ugly..." Bella stammered.

"I am sure! You question my amazing abilities?" Edward roared in anger.

"Never mind." Bella growled as her, "Steak with Extra Fat" arrived.

"I feel really protective of you, Bella." Edward said with a sincere tone.

"Ew, stalker!" Bella jumped up, her fork clattering and bouncing like a trampoline on the fatty steak.

Finally, after the awkward restaurant incidents, Edward put Bella in his crappy car and they drove home. Edward had teen pop blaring on the radio.

"Okay, could you please shut that off?" Bella grumbled, slamming her head into the back of the seat.

"No!" Edward whined, reaching for the dial to hold onto it.

Bella grabbed it, too, and their hands touched.

"Good LORD!" Bella screamed, shaking her hand off. "Were you digging in ice or something? Your hands are FREEZING!"

"Did you just touch me?" Edward snapped in his teenage girl voice.

Bella nodded slowly, giving him an odd look.

"Oh no you DIDN'T!" Edward snapped.

"Oh yes I DID!" Bella replied in the same tone.

"What the? My dad is at the police station?" Edward questioned, pulling in.