Hey! Anyone see Vampires Suck? I saw it twice...in one week. I LOVED IT! Okay, onto the chapter!

"Wow, that's a lot of music." Bella gasped as she looked around his room.

"No bed?"

"No, I just have that weird futon looking thing there." Edward pointed to a twisted black couch and cricked his back, pointing to it.

Edward strode over to the stereo and pushed his "Romantic Music" CD in. Instantly, the Hamster dance began to play.

"I like to show my steps to the chicks." Edward smiled, dancing and kicking.

"That's, um, corny." Bella said, biting her thumbnail.

"FIne, have it your way." Edward huffed.

"Burger king?" Bella gasped, leaning forward on her toes.

"No! I meant a real slow dance." Edward changed the track to a beautiful classical tune and grabbed Bella's hands, whirling her around.

"I can't dance." She scowled, letting go.

Edward swung her onto his back. "You better hold on tight, spider monkey." He said with a half-wit smile.

"You said that before!" Bella snapped.

Edward began tree-hopping, scraping his fingernails on the bark, as he lead Bella up to a pine tree.

"It's really nice up here...but I don't believe it's real." Bella stammered, hugging the tree branch.

"Oh yeah? Look down." Edward teased.

Bella looked right down...and hurled all over Edward's new polo.

Charlie lead the german sheaperd across the forest grounds.

"Sniff sniff bark!" He yelled to his other team members. "We've found something!"

"A human footprint?"

"Nooo..." Charlie said. "A man-bear!"

"ESME!" Edward yelled, slamming the back door as he carried Bella.

"Yes?" She said, rolling her eyes.

"Bella vomited all over me and I scraped my knee on a tree!"

"Aw, honey. A boo boo?" Esme asked.

Edward pulled up his pant leg and threw his knee onto the table. Esme walked into the kitchen with a Dora the Explorer bandade for him.

Esme rubbed the bright pink bandade over Edward's knee with a light kiss. Bella clasped her hands over her mouth, struggling not to burst out laughing.

"So, asking anyone to prom?" Charlie asked, licking the barbeque sauce off his fingers at the Nameless Cafe.

"Who knows?" Bella asked.

"That Mike kid seems to, er, want your attention." Charlie said, pointing out the window.

Mike, with "BELLA" tattooed across his butt, was shaking his butt in the window of the cafe. Bella covered her eyes and muttered a swear.

Mike suddenly farted, shattering the entire window of the cafe.

Waitresses ducked, Bella screamed. Mike blushed a furious red and his friends all pointed and laughed.

"I...I have to run." Bella jumped up and ran out of the cafe, barging into her room and locking the door.

"He's soooo mysterious, but isn't that yummy?" Bella asked her mother over the phone.

She was rolling around, cell phone to her ear, gossiping about the "dreamy new guy" at school.

"He must use gobs of hairspray!" Rene replied.

"Who knows? I hear he's looking for a girl to spawn off a billion dollar book and movie series that girls will nearly kill themselves for!" Bella whispered.

She heard a thump and whipped around. Edward was standing at the foot of her bed.

"Don't scream." He said softly.

"Honey? Honey, are you watching a horror movie? You know how those give you extra bladder..."

"Mom, I gotta go!" Bella snapped, throwing the phone to the floor.

"I wanna try something." Edward said, stepping forward.

"Pizza? Panini?" Bella asked, looking at the accumulated stale food under her bed.

"No, you idiot!" Edward snapped, grabbing her face. He smashed his lips into hers, which soon turned into a kiss.

"Wow." Bella stammered, right as Edward did a flying leap and fell off her bed onto the floor.

That night, Edward lay awake beside Bella. She curled onto his chest, asleep.

"EW!" He complained, shoving her face away.

Thanks so much for reading! Only a few chapters left before my "New Moon" parody begins!! :D :D :D