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Part 5: Weekend Alone

The week finally arrived when Blaine's parents went to Italy, and Kurt and Blaine would be lying if either of them weren't nervous. They sat on either side of Blaine's king sized bed, looking forward at the wall and then every once and a while glancing at each other.

"I wished we didn't plan this," Blaine said quietly, "Can we just hang out, and let it occur whenever this week…" Blaine trailed off nervously, glancing at Kurt, who eventually looked back at him.

"Ok, I really don't want this to be awkward either," Kurt scooted closer to Blaine and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer.

"I know," Blaine leaned against Kurt, sinking into his arms like a falling ship, closing into the depths of Kurt's oceanic body. Blaine couldn't breathe; he was holding his breath, only to let it out when Kurt finally released him.

"I'm drowning in you, Kurt. I need you so much," Blaine confessed, taking both of Kurt's hands, squeezing them with a desperate look in his eyes, "When I'm not with you, you're on my mind. W-when I feel sad, I want your arms around me, when I'm happy, it, it's really only when I'm with you. I-I'm scared, Kurt, but I need this… Just take me, please," Blaine covered his hands with his eyes and laid back on the bed. He moved his legs so he was laying long ways on his king sized bed. He was fully dressed, wearing dark blue jeans, socks, and a white t-shirt. Kurt gently touched Blaine's body, toying with the idea of starting their love making session with his request. His hand snaked under Blaine's shirt as he caressed him slowly, feeling his hard abs.

"I'm ready, I swear, just, please make it fast," Blaine's face was scrunched up. Kurt stopped breathing in horror and immediately removed his hands.

"Blaine, no, it's not like that. We are doing this together," Kurt grabbed Blaine's arms and then grabbed him by the shirt and sat him up. Blaine's eyes were wide at Kurt's sudden forcefulness with his body.

"We are in love, okay?" Kurt leaned his forehead against Blaine, wishing silently in his mind for Blaine's worries to vanish.

"I know," Blaine whispered. "I just, I just remember being touched there and how it felt. I didn't want it to happen. I'm just fucking scared and I want it over with. I wanna get over what happened to me, Kurt. Please, just fuck me," Blaine cried out desperately, removing his forehead from against Kurt's. He couldn't keep looking at his lover. Blaine closed his eyes so tightly that tears squeezed their way out and trickled down his cheeks and onto the fabric of his comforter.

"No, Blaine! Stop this, stop!" Kurt yelled may be a little insensitively, but he didn't know how to get across to him.

Kurt said in a softer tone, gently wiping his tears away. At the touch Blaine opened his eyes and Kurt continued, "I love you and I want this to be mutual. I am going to make love to you and it won't be forced. You are going to enjoy it and I will enjoy it because we both want it," Kurt said as Blaine laid back on the bed, and just nodded slowly, but looking sad.

Kurt started caressing Blaine's stomach again and slowly trailed down and undid the button on his jeans. He went to kneel on the bed.

Blaine watched him with scared eyes as Kurt straddled him and gently pushed down Blaine's jeans.

"Blaine, we've done stuff like this before," Kurt whispered. "We've looked it up, we've planned. We know we're gonna do this face to face. We know it's gonna be different," Kurt got in Blaine's face to prove a point. They breathed in the same air and each other's breaths.

"And it won't be anything like what that evil miscreant did to you, so please let me love you," Kurt said gently kissing Blaine's lips slowly.

"Kurt," Blaine said when Kurt pulled away from the kiss, "Can, I, uh, be in charge?" Blaine said shyly but smiled wide, thinking about it.

"But we planned… I would be on top," Kurt said slowly, unsure, sitting back on Blaine's bare thighs, thinking about how this is ruining his plan. He wanted to take care of Blaine.

Kurt continued, "Blaine, I just want to show you what love really is like,"

"I know what it is like, you showed me. Please, can I just be the one making the love. I will kiss you all over your body and hug you and just kiss that spot by your ear that makes you go wild. I'll have you bucking against me," Blaine whispered getting more sexual and more interested in this experience by the second as he sat up more and more with every word until he was right up against Kurt's nose and kissed him hard. He wrapped his arms around Kurt and caressed his back and held him as close as he could get.

Kurt whimpered, unable to disagree with this as Blaine flipped them, so Kurt was down lying with his knees spread and bent with Blaine laying between them. Blaine had always been excited to initiate sex, maybe Blaine was right in being the top… and it's not like they can't reverse the situation later…

"Ok, Blaine, we'll do it your way," Kurt complied, enjoying this, knowing this would be one of the ways Blaine could move on.

"I won't hurt you. Tell me if anything hurts or anything, I promise to be gentle, I know what it's like, well kind of, and," Blaine started talking, but Kurt interrupted.

"Just shut up, Blaine," Kurt said grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him down to him, kissing him hungrily.

Blaine smiled wide, "I am so happy," Blaine mumbled into the kiss and Kurt couldn't resist his happiness, ever.

Blaine unzipped Kurt's pants and slid them off to the ankle, where Kurt kicked them off and onto the floor. Blaine grinned down at Kurt as he knelt and started unzipping his pants too. Kurt breathed out, bracing himself for what was to come next. He awkwardly moved to lay next to Kurt on the bed and he too pushed his jeans off and onto the floor.

Blaine suddenly was back on top of him with a grin on his face. He pulled his shirt off his head before leaning down to kiss Kurt.

"Mmm, you're so beautiful," Blaine complimented into the kiss as he stroked Kurt's face with one hand and with the other started caressing Kurt through his boxer briefs.

Kurt did the same to Blaine. They both breathed heavily getting themselves to full hardness.

Kurt reached for the lube and condoms on the table and offered it to Blaine with big eyes.

"Ok, I'm ready Blaine," Kurt said as he pushed down his underwear and threw it on the floor. Though he felt completely unprepared for this because it was happening so sudden and what they talked about was reversed. Blaine took the lube and condoms from Kurt before imitated his actions, taking the rest of his clothes off and then pulled Kurt's shirt up.

Blaine squirted lube into his hand and slide a finger inside Kurt slowly and gently, feeling around, looking at him unsurely, asking with his eyes if this is okay. Kurt just nodded as he hitched a breath and let it out slowly as Blaine added another finger and another one until Kurt was wincing and holding tightly onto Blaine's back, digging his fingers into his skin.

"I-I'm sorry, oh my god, I'm hurting you," Blaine removed his fingers suddenly and looked at Kurt sadly, "We can't do this, no, this is how I got fucked up and you will be, too," Blaine started breathing heavily and hyperventilating, thinking about the night.

"Blaine, shh," Kurt said slowly, "It's okay, the pain is bearable, it's because I've never done this before, it's okay, it's okay," Kurt sat up a little and kissed Blaine's lips over and over, reassuringly.

"No, Kurt," Blaine started crying, "we can't, I hate that I'm hurting you," Blaine said into their kisses that now tasted like salt water.

Kurt slide in his tongue into Blaine's mouth to shut him up, and grabbed Blaine's right hand that was still lubed up and guided it inside him slowly and at a pace that that Kurt can handle.

Kurt sucked on Blaine's tongue, ignoring the pain as Kurt forced another one of Blaine's fingers inside of him with a small moan until Blaine's fingers hit something that made Kurt buck up against him.

"Right there, Blaine," Kurt squealed under him suddenly feeling some kind of pleasure. Blaine pulled away from the kiss when Kurt spoke out and looked at him curiously as Kurt removed his hands and Blaine started rubbing against Kurt's prostate.

"It feels good, oh god, Blaine, I'm ready for you," Kurt opened his eyes and stared at Blaine seriously. Blaine gulped and nodded slowly. Kurt could see his nerves in his eyes as Blaine grabbed a condom and slid it on himself, lubing himself up very well.

Blaine pushed his tip inside him slowly and then pulled out, and then put it back in even more, trying to ease himself inside his boyfriend.

He smiled down at Kurt, can't believe they're one with one another, "Oh god, Kurt," Blaine cried out, holding himself in that position and hugging against Kurt.

"Blaine," Kurt panted, hugging his boyfriend back, enjoying this suddenly as the pain vanished as Blaine moved in and out slowly, hitting his prostate every time.

"Mmm, baby," Kurt moaned wrapping his legs around Blaine as Blaine sped up the pace, but kissed down his neck.

"I love you so much, Kurt. You are so amazing and god, beautiful, and I love this," Blaine muttered as he slowed the thrusts to say all these things to his boyfriend. Blaine felt between him and caressed his boyfriend until he was squirming underneath him.

"I love you, too," Kurt breathed out as he started moving against Blaine with caused Blaine to smile happily and move with his boyfriend faster and faster until he came, collapsing on Kurt, who came a few seconds after him.

Afterwards they curled up in one another and fell asleep.

…

The next day, Blaine and Kurt walked into school together. All Kurt could feel was what seemed like an empty space where Blaine's part was last night. It was awkward because it ached dully and was sore, and even though last night it felt good after awhile and Blaine was very gentle and sweet about it, Kurt loved it, but he knew he needed to get used to this if Blaine refused to bottom.

Blaine grinned happily. He could still feel Kurt's walls around him and he loved it. He didn't hurt at all. They only did it once, but Blaine now made a new memory, but he wasn't sure if it replaced the old one… he still had a bad experience that burned in his memory. He now knew he could be the one in control, but Kurt was right in that, Kurt could show him that being the bottom didn't have to be so detrimental.

Blaine leaned against Kurt, even needier than usual, "You're okay from last night, right?" Blaine asked, holding his boyfriend tight as they walked the halls.

"Yeah, it hurts still, but you knew that," Kurt said softly to his boyfriend as Blaine kissed Kurt's forehead and cheeks lovingly.

"I know, but it was amazing, so amazing," Blaine said, and even though they were in the hallway before class, Blaine shoved him against the locker rather roughly and kissed his lips until Kurt was moaning against him.

"I'm getting hard thinking about it. You were so excited under me," Blaine muttered in Kurt's ear, pushing his hard on against Kurt's thigh, who moaned.

"Blaine, not here," Kurt moaned back, thinking about how good it was, but pushed against Blaine, who looked at him with puppy dog eyes as he moved away from Kurt.

"Sorry," Blaine muttered, "Are you mad at me cuz of last night? I knew I musta hurt you," Blaine looked stressed out, worry etched on his face, "And I did, shit. I shoulda just bottomed, but I'm scared," Blaine started crying.

"You're scared no matter what Blaine!" Kurt yelled but continued in a softer tone, "It wouldn't have mattered…but I'm fine and I don't regret a thing last night, so stop getting upset, please."

Blaine looked at him with sad eyes before he started walking away to sit by his own locker upstairs.

Before Kurt pulled him by the arm and hugged him, "I'm serious, don't be sad, I love you. Smile, please," Kurt squeezed Blaine's damp cheeks playfully until he smiled

…

Blaine came home from school with a smile on his face. Even though it was drizzling and the sky was dark, he just had a pretty amazing weekend with Kurt , despite some drama, he lost his virginity and he wasn't about to let his parents, who just returned from their trip early this morning, or the upcoming storm ruin that. He almost felt free for the first time as if he conquered all his fears, except for the fact that he'd barely let Kurt touch him anywhere that man did.

His parents were waiting for him, watching something on the TV. Both looked very unhappy and angry. His mom looked disappointed and sick to her stomach.

"W-what's wrong?" Blaine asked slowly looking at them curiously as he set his bag down on the couch and then he saw it. It was him and Kurt rolling around on his bed, slowly stripping their clothes off; it was from the night he and Kurt lost their virginity. He could see his crying and Kurt's obvious expressions of pain that turned to ecstasy for both of them.

"Where did you get this from?" Blaine yelled, turning red, flushing from watching himself and Kurt in that position and the fact that it was no longer private. Blaine ran to the blue ray player to turn it off, but his father put his arm out to stop him.

"We told you no sex in our house. This is proof of you not following the rules. I took your car keys and put most of your stuff in storage. There's a bag packed on your bed with some clothes. I'm cutting off your credit card starting today."

"What? No, I thought you accepted me," Blaine started crying, knowing he needed his parents' money and the place to stay.

"You broke the rules, take your stuff and get out."

"Mom? Please, convince him. Let me stay, let me take my car,"

"You have what's in your checking and your savings, and I'll keep your cell phone on."

"C-can't you see in that video, it was about me finding my confidence again? I-I think you just broke it again," Blaine looked down at his feet as he started climbing up the stairs and took the small bag his parents packed. He looked around his room and grabbed Kurt's t-shirt. He took his hoodie off, threw the shirt over his head and breathed in his scent, sighing in relief, before he put his sweatshirt jacket back on and threw the hood up over his head to protect his hair from the rain. He grabbed all his meds, an extra pair of shoes, a picture frame of him and Kurt that he stored in his drawer, and some of his hair gel and threw that in the bag too before he trodded down the stairs, ripped the DVD out of the player and stashed it in his bag and left without a word.

What hell he had walked into now that he spoke, was having a voice and an opinion even worth it? He was living in solitude before, now his life was all drama.

Blaine rang the doorbell frantically as he stood in the rain in sodden jeans and a hoodie. His gelled hair was now wet and curly and falling in his face. He rubbed his arms and hugged himself, feeling the cold rush up upon him, it was practically snowing out, it was late January and he forgot his jacket.

Suddenly the door opened and Kurt was standing there in jeans and an off the shoulder sweater. His eyes widened in horror to see his boyfriend so cold and wet.

"Oh my God, Babe-" Kurt started to speak as Blaine started explaining. Kurt wasn't sure if he was just upset or crying too with all the water that was on him.

"Kurt, they lied, I got home, and all my stuff was taken from my room and the keys to my car were gone, I ran here… T-They know what we did, they fucking set up video cameras all over the house and in my room to watch me. They were disgusted in what we did…" Blaine was soaked from head to toe in ran water as the rain water still poured down on him.

"Cameras? What the heck?" Kurt felt flushed as he grabbed Blaine by the arm and pulled him inside.

"You should have called me, oh, baby," Kurt pulled him into a hug as Blaine started crying against him. Kurt knew for sure this time, he was definitely crying, he could feel the warm tears against his neck and could feel him shaking against him, and heard his small whimpers, as the rest of his body started to get damp from Blaine's wet clothes and moist skin.

"You w-ere right. They just want me to have a girlfriend. I don't know, I want their approval," Blaine said into Kurt's neck, nuzzling his face in his shoulder. Kurt pulled Blaine away from him and looked at him, his hands still on Blaine's shoulders, trying to grasp what he was implying.

"Are you serious? Blaine, they kicked you out for being who you are and now you wanna change yourself because of the consequences. No, you're staying here. We'll dry you off and get you warmed up before you catch a cold," Kurt took one arm off Blaine's shoulder and led him upstairs; Blaine's rubber soles squeaking all the way.

Blaine didn't say a word just headed to the bathroom and started himself a shower.

…

As soon as Blaine came out of the shower with just a towel on, Kurt stared disapprovingly at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're parents are mean! And I'm not sure if my dad will want you to stay forever. I'm sure he'll allow a week or two. You can't just find a girlfriend though…that's asinine."

"I'm sorry, but it's not my fault, they're mad at me. I'll think of something to live there again. I thought you might like that you get to spend more time with me…" Blaine trailed off and pouted before digging through his bag for some clothes to sleep in. Blaine's wet curls were bouncing all over the place, and a few even fell in his face.

Kurt sighed, "No I'm sorry." Kurt couldn't be mad at him when he was looking so sad and gorgeous. Plus, Blaine never even said he'd get a girlfriend to get to live in luxury again.

…

The next day at school, Blaine sat at his locker, staring off into nothingness. Kurt had to talk with the guidance counselor for some reason or another. Blaine just hoped Karofsky didn't mess with him in those few minutes before class when Kurt wasn't around. Instead, Brittany came tumbling towards him and sat down, wearing a red beanie and a jeans and a black and white stripped t-shirt with a black tie.

"Hey you, why you look so sad? You look like a kicked puppy," Brittany asked seriously with a frown on her face.

"Just I kind of got kicked out because of me and Kurt," Blaine sighed and leaned his head back against the lockers, staring at Brittany.

"Oh, you poor thing," Brittany sighed and looked at him sadly, "What can I do to make it better? I can brush your hair, I love it when Santana brushes my hair before bed," she said softly and reaches to touch Blaine's hair and run her fingers through it, but stops when she realizes it's gel filled.

"Thanks, but nothing really. I guess I'm just gonna live with Kurt. I love him and stuff, but I just want my own space, especially since he gets mad at me like all the time for just being there. I wanna be home, I'm really good at avoiding my parents, and I can't even be given that anymore. And he got kind of mad at me yesterday, too, and even before we were living together. At first it was because he bottomed and like I got all upset over sex, and then because I just wanna be home when my parents are so mean to me. He doesn't understand," Blaine sighed, not believing that he just opened up to her, the only one besides Kurt, his parents, and his therapist. For the first time realized that Brittany is actually really sweet and maybe could be a friend, his only friend really because Kurt was his boyfriend.

"Oh no, that's horrible. Well, you can come over to my house any time you want, here," Brittany dug in her book bag for a pen and wrote on Blaine's hand her phone number.

"Call me, okay, if you need some space from Kurt. He's really capital G gay, while, you, you're not. I bet you could pass for straight, you know, or be straight, I don't know how that works," Brittany shrugged before patting Blaine's back and getting up.

Blaine watched after her until she was gone, and looked at her number on his hand and sighed softly, hoping Brittany was serious, at least about the coming over to escape part.