"Okay, let's see here," said Tony, pulling out a notepad and a pencil and frowning down at the magazine he had open on his desk. "Number 1... well, yeah, that's just common sense, there's no point in publishing that. Number 2... ooh, that's a sneaky one, better write that down..."
McGee glanced up from his computer to see what his partner was looking at – and, having seen, blinked, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Surely he couldn't be... but, yes, that was what it looked like...
"Number 3... well, that's just wrong..."
"Tony," said McGee slowly, "are you reading Cosmopolitan?"
"Gotta keep up with the other side's tactics, probie," said Tony, without even looking up.
"Excuse me?"
"Tactics, McGee, tactics," said Tony. "You know how women's magazines are always putting out these lists of '20 Ways to Make Him Ache for You', or 'Three Dozen Phrases That Get Under His Skin', or whatever. If you let a woman pull one of these on you, she figures you're an easy target and loses all respect for you. So you've got to read their magazines, so you know what to resist."
McGee shook his head. "Unbelievable."
"It's like in Patton," said Tony, and assumed a gravelly, George-C.-Scott-esque voice. "'You son of a bitch! I read your book!'"
"Wasn't aware I wrote one, DiNozzo," said a familiar voice from behind him.
Tony leaped to his feet, and thrust the magazine under his desk. "Morning, boss!" he said. "I was just, you know, doing... agent things."
"Well, here's another one for you to do," said Gibbs. "Grab your gear."...