Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy and Fox, not me.
Rachel sat at the hair and makeup table, staring intently at her reflection. You can do this, she thought, warming up for her traditional pep talk to herself. You were born for this.
She started to smile until another rebellious thought surfaced. You were born to be a lead, not a background singer.
She clamped her mouth shut as her eyes began to water. Her lips trembled. In the makeup table's mirror she saw Jesse sidle closer to her. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing's wrong, Jesse," she said dropping her gaze.
Jesse pulled up a stool next to her and sat down. "You're not still mad about not getting the Oklahoma part, are you?"
"It doesn't matter," she said, taking a deep calming breath and smiling at her reflection. "There are no small parts, only small actors."
"The actor who came up with that pithy quote was most likely pissed that he didn't get a lead role," Jesse said sincerely. "Every actor since who's used that is lying to themselves."
Rachel sighed and picked up a mascara wand. "I might be a little upset that I didn't get the role I wanted…or any lead role for that matter…but there's always next time," she said firmly.
Jesse watched her apply mascara with a liberal hand. "I know you're upset," he said matter-of-factly. "Your dream roles are Laurey from Oklahoma, the title role in Evita, and Fanny-"
"Fanny Brice in Funny Girl," Rachel finished. She set down the mascara wand and turned to look at him. "You remember."
"Of course I do," he said seriously. He reached over and picked up the mascara wand. "I know our history has been very up-and-down over the last year and a half, but don't think I don't remember the little details you've shared with me." He twisted the cap on the mascara wand and put it back in her makeup kit. "Don't let that dry out."
She looked down at the innocent black tube as he stood up and slid the stool away. Jesse bent close, his lips close to her ear. "I still think we've a perfect match," he whispered. "I'd kiss you now, but you don't have enough time to reapply your makeup if I smudge it."
Instead, he patted her on the shoulder and walked away. Rachel stared down at her makeup kit and hastily picked up a lipstick tube.
"Hey," Finn said, crossing the green room to get to her. "Hey, was he bothering you?"
"No, it's fine, Finn," Rachel said as she uncapped her lipstick. "Are you ready for the show?"
"Yeah, but…are you sure he wasn't bothering you?" Finn pressed. "I mean, it looked like he flirting with you and stuff."
Rachel carefully smoothed on her lipstick and smacked her lips together. "He was sort of flirting, but I don't really think it matters," she said.
Finn blinked in confusion. "But…I thought…"
Rachel pushed her makeup stool back with a loud scrape. "Finn, the show's going to start in ten minutes and I have't had time to prepare," she snapped. "Can everyone please leave me alone so I can be in the proper headspace for my performance?"
She brushed past Finn, swinging her arms as she stomped away. She nearly bumped up against a pretty girl in a lavender gingham dress, and her heart constricted.
That should have been my costume, she thought, and she stormed out of the green room.
"Quinn!" Thad called sharply. "Quinn, we're on in fifteen. Aren't you ready yet?"
"In a second," she said absently, lazily sketching a line of eyeliner along her top lash line.
"We don't have a second," Thad said. "We're running lines. Come on."
"I'm not done with my makeup," she argued.
Thad rolled his eyes. "Your makeup would be done if you showed up at your actual call time instead of ten minutes late," he snapped. "You're just lucky the stage manager didn't take up the sign-in sheet before you got here, or you'd be in for it."
She tossed the eyeliner down, took a deep breath, and turned to him with a sweet smile, her hands clasped on her lap. "You want this to be a good performance, right?" she said. "Well, you should probably leave me alone so I can get into character properly."
She mentally thanked Rachel and her never-ending performance-related tirades for that one, because Thad rolled his eyes one more time (this time so hard she was sure they were going to get stuck back there) and stomped out.
Quinn turned back to the mirror and bit back a sigh as she stared at her heavily made-up reflection. "You ought to hear Grandpa on the subject," she recited dully, running through her lines. "You know he says most people nowadays are run by fear. Fear of…" She paused. "Fear of…"
She squared her shoulders. "Well, you're screwed," she informed her reflection.
Kurt hid in the wings as the dancers performed "Luck Be a Lady," tapping his toe to the beat of the music. He felt Blaine's arms sneak around his waist and he smiled. Blaine rested his chin on his shoulder. "What are you doing?" he whispered.
"Watching and not talking," he whispered back. "You should do the same." He frowned. "Blaine. You can't kiss my neck right now. I'm in costume."
"I know," Blaine whispered, his breath soft and warm against his ear. "This costume is amazing."
Kurt grinned. "I talked Flint into taking in my pants a little bit more on the thighs," he said. "You like?"
"I do," Blaine said. He tucked his thumb in the waistband of Kurt's pinstriped pants. "So…I'm thinking…after the performance…"
Kurt tugged away. "Uh…I won't be in this costume at the end of the show," he said. "I'm wearing…something terrible. I hate it. It's the furthest thing from sexy. You'll hate it."
"I'll always think you're sexy," Blaine promised.
"If you find me sexy in this costume, you'll be a total creep," Kurt whispered. He adjusted Blaine's collar and set his fedora at a rakish angle. "Now run along, Frank Sinatra. It's your turn to sing." He leaned in and kissed Blaine, the brims of their hats brushing. "Break a leg, Mister Anderson."
Rachel paced anxiously back and forth in the green room, tangling her hands together. "Oh, I'm so nervous," she sighed.
"We know," Trent said dryly. "You've only mentioned it every two minutes."
"I can't help it," she said, flinging her arms to the sides. "I have the Brigadoon scene and then the Sound of Music scene. And I have to prove that I'm talented, or when we have auditions on Monday, I won't get cast again."
"Honey, it'll be fine," Dylan said. "Everybody knows you're talented. You're going to do great."
"I don't want to be great, I want to be perfect," Rachel groused. She stomped out of the door, nearly knocking over Lucy in the process.
Lucy pulled her full skirt and petticoats out of the way and frowned back at Rachel. "What's wrong with her?" she asked.
"Oh, she's nervous," Dylan said, propping his feet up on the makeup table. "And apparently she doesn't stop talking when she's nervous."
"I don't think she ever stops talking," Lucy sighed. She plopped down in one of the well-worn armchairs, her blue dress and plaid drape poofing around her. "Oh, god, this dress is killing me. It's enough dress for two people."
"At least it's not as ridiculous as your Sound of Music costume," Trent snickered. Lucy rolled her eyes and swatted at him with her rolled-up sheet music.
The door to the green room swung open and Dave Karofsky wandered in, looking out of place and uncomfortable in his costume. "Oh," he said. "Uh…god, this place is confusing. How do I get back up to the wings."
Lucy sat up straighter. "Take the stairwell," she said brusquely, pointing in the proper direction.
Dave looked at her and frowned slightly. "Thanks," he mumbled before disappearing up the curved stairs.
Dylan swiveled to stare at Lucy. "What was that about, munchkin?" he asked.
Lucy blinked. "What was what?"
"You went ice queen for a second," Trent said. "I didn't know you could do that."
She shrugged. "I just told him where to go," she said uncomfortably.
"Do you not like him?" Dylan pressed. "You get along with everybody. Even that Tillie girl who was in the Larks until she spiked the punch at the Christmas party."
Lucy tugged at the lacing on the bodice of her dress. "I might not be very fond of that individual," she admitted primly.
"But-" Trent started to say.
Holly stuck her head in the green room. "Come on, kiddos, it's time," she said. "Places, please."
Kurt ran backstage as his Guys and Dolls scene ended. "This sucks, this sucks, this sucks," he said as the audience applauded and the actors for the My Fair Lady scene took the stage.
"It's just a quick change," Lucy said, taking his hat and tossing it onto the prop table. "And you've got at least three minutes for it."
"Still not enough time," Kurt hissed, tugging his suspenders off his shoulders.
Lucy unbuttoned Kurt's shirt as he yanked on the zipper of his pants. "Kurt, it's a costume, not one of your beloved designer outfits," she said. "You shouldn't be fussing about not being able to take your time getting dressed."
"It's messing up my hair," Kurt complained.
Lucy paused long enough in unbuttoning his shirt to pinch his bare stomach. "Shut up and strip, Hummel," she said. She untucked his shirt and slid it off his shoulders. "God, what Blaine wouldn't do to be in my shoes right now."
"Oh god, I forgot about this when I had Flint take in my pants," Kurt said, tugging uselessly at the side seams. "Oh god. Tight pants are no good for quick changes."
"It would help if Rachel was actually helping like she was supposed to," Lucy hissed.
Rachel didn't turn around from her spot between the flies, already dressed in her dirndl with a guitar tucked under her arm. Kurt sucked in his breath, and shimmied halfway out of his pants. "Okay. Okay, they're sort of off," he said.
Lucy picked up the shirt to his Sound of Music costume and stuck her arms through the neckline. "Let this teach you a lesson about wearing painted-on pants," she said. She pulled the shirt over his head as he tugged the pants off. "Kurt, these costumes are awful."
"We look ridiculous," Kurt sighed as he shoved his arms through the sleeves and she picked up his shorts.
"Nice underwear, by the way," she said. "Is that satin?"
"Silk, actually," he said. He pulled the shorts on and tugged the hems of his knee socks around his calves. "Lucy, do we have to go out like this?"
"I'm afraid so," she said, straightening his long droopy tie. She picked up a comb from the prop table and smoothed his hair down over his forehead. "Aw, you look like you're six."
"So do you," he retorted, adjusting her hairbow so it stood up in jaunty, perky points.
Rachel grabbed them both by the arms and dragged them towards the flies. "Come on, come on, we're on," she hissed.
"Thanks for all your help, Berry," Kurt snorted.
She ignored them and instead positioned them behind her, along with the other five Von Trapp children. The lights dimmed as the My Fair Lady actors left, and they slipped to their places in the dark- Rachel seated in the center with the children gathered around her.
The lights went up. The audience blurred below them, nothing but a sea of faceless people beyond the lights, but there was still that undeniable surge of adrenaline that came from knowing that there was a live audience watching them, waiting on their every word, their every note.
It was a heady feeling, to say the least.
"Fraulein Maria, can we do this every day?" one of the Von Trapps asked.
"Don't you think you'd get tired of it?" Rachel countered, smiling brightly, her showface plastered on.
"I suppose so…every other day?"
"I haven't had this much fun since we put glue on Fraulein Josephine's toothbrush!" Kurt said, happy and childlike. The audience laughed at that one.
Rachel shook her head, still with that smile. "I don't understand how children as nice as you can play such tricks," she said merrily.
"It's easy," another Von Trapp shrugged.
"But why do it?" Rachel pressed.
Lucy shrugged. "How else can we get Father's attention?" she said.
"Oh, I see," Rachel said, without giving time to actually look like she had given it any thought. "We'll have to think about that one." She picked up the guitar, a few lines too early. "Now, let's think of a song for the baroness."
"Father doesn't like us to sing," the smallest Von Trapp girl said.
"Perhaps we can change his mind," Rachel suggested. "Now, what songs do you know?"
"We don't know any songs," the oldest Von Trapp boy said.
Rachel's mouth widened in a surprised, exaggerated O. "Not any?" she said, aghast.
"We don't even know how to sing," Kurt offered.
"Let's not lose time. You must learn," Rachel said.
"But how?"
Rachel pretended to strum at the guitar while Puck, from the orchestra pit, took up the melody. "Let's start at the very beginning," she sang, "a very good place to start…"
The applause began to die down as Evangelina took center stage. "And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes our first performance of the summer," she said into the mic, her amplified voice reverberating through the theater. "Be sure to hang up your costumes neatly and have the green room clean before you leave. Respect your crew and don't give them extra work. We'll see you tomorrow for post-mortems."
She walked offstage as the house lights came up, and the auditorium broke into noisy chatter. "That was a good show," Wes announced to no one in particular. "Really good performances."
"It was horrible," Rachel moaned.
"You did fine," Mercedes said.
"I was awful," Rachel said, jumping up from her seat and running towards the green room, already bursting into tears. Jo frowned. "Does she storm out like that a lot?" she asked.
"You have no idea," Mercedes said. "Drama is like oxygen to us in New Directions."
"Apparently it's rubbing off on my Warblers," Wes said, glaring across the auditorium as he folded his arms across his chest. "Why is Thad yelling at that blonde girl?"
"Maybe because she forgot half her lines and just stared at the audience for most of the scene," Jo said. "I would yell too." She made a face and tugged on her dress. "But now it's all over for the week. And now to get out of this stupid costume."
Wes looked her up and down, eyeing her purple 1950s-style wiggle dress. "I don't know, I think I like it," he said.
She smacked him upside the head. "You're not the one wearing it," she said. "And I'm also in heels, I might add. Heels. I am taking this off. Let me go find Lucy."
"Yeah, I'm sure she wants to get out of her costume," Mercedes snickered.
"Well, gee, thanks, Mercedes."
They turned around to see both Kurt and Lucy standing behind them in their matching white and navy sailor uniforms. The tops were identical- loose and blousy with big floppy ties and long sleeves- but Lucy wore a knee-length pleated skirt and Kurt wore shorts. Both wore white knee socks and black shoes. "Ha, ha, we know, we look hilarious," Kurt said unhappily.
"You look precious," Jo cooed, pinching their cheeks.
"We look like Victorian jailbait," Lucy said dryly. "Let go of my face, Joanna."
"Can we go change now please?" Kurt pleaded. "I want to leave before Blaine-"
"Kurt! Hey, Kurt!"
Kurt facepalmed.
Blaine hopped over the row of seats and stumbled to a stop, a huge grin spread across his face. "Hey, babe," he said. "Nice outfit."
"Blaine, stop looking at me," Kurt groaned, covering Blaine's eyes with his hand. "I look so stupid. A new level of stupid."
"I'll always think you're handsome, no matter what you're wearing," Blaine promised.
Kurt parted his fingers a little and Blaine blinked. "You're just saying that," he accused.
"No, I promise," Blaine wheedled. "Please?"
Kurt sighed and dropped his hand. Blaine leaned in and kissed him. "All right, now I'm changing," Kurt said. "Come on, Lucy. Let's go change and pray to anything that will listen that we don't have to do this again."
"Amen," Lucy said fervently.
Author's Notes:
SWEET HOLY HELL. HOW DID I GET SO FAR BEHIND?
Oh, well. This means you'll probably get like...two chapters a day for a while. Or something like that. Or I'll tweak my outline a bit to make it easier to catch up. Or something.
BUT YEAH. NEW UPDATE.
This is basically a GPOY of my entire life-sitting in the green room, waiting in the wings, awkward costume changes. I swear, I've had more people see me in various stages of undress...
There was one time I had a quick change and an offstage line that I had to yell. The first time I did I almost scared the pee out of my dressers.
AND NOW YOU KNOW WHAT KURT AND LUCY HAD TO WEAR. RIDICULOUS, YES? YES.
I don't know why I'm so capslocky.
Also, I've never really written Jesse before this, but he's sort of fun to play around with.
Also also, for your convenience, here are the performances of note that happened this week (this will come in handy as the final week approaches...) And you can always check them out for fun.
-Green Monkeys: "Luck Be a Lady" from Guys and Dolls
-Purple Parrots: "Waitin' On Me Dearie" from Brigadoon, "People Will Say We're In Love" from Oklahoma, "Get Me to the Church On Time" from My Fair Lady, "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" from Guys and Dolls, "Do-Re-Mi" from The Sound of Music
-Red Jaguars: scene from You Can't Take It With You
But anyways.
Will Rachel get a lead role in the next performance? Will Quinn get her ass royally handed to her for not knowing her lines and bombing the scene? Will Karofsky continue to be that one kid that no one likes?
STAY TUNED.