"God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time" – Robin Williams
Even later that evening, after some revelry, the Kid pirates stumbled off, far less drunk than the night before, but still needing their beauty sleep. However, one little Kid pirate was too worried for rest. His crewmates considered him to be rather stoic. Arrogant, violent, but otherwise stoic. If word of his necrophilia got out, he would endure teasing for weeks. Maybe even months! An awkward situation must be avoided at all costs. That's it! He resolved, early tomorrow morning to wake up and kill whatever this creature was. But how would he find it? The corpse could give him *yawn* some clues. And then, he could look for that thi- *yaaaaawwwwwnnnnn* ng. Killer fell asleep in the middle of his thoughts. On the bright and early morning of the third day of their stay, Killer snuck out of his room unsuccessfully. His captain noticed and decided to track him.
Killer found the decapitated girl's body on the ground. It was mostly dry (the flies didn't even bother with it) and partly eaten, the natural and created orifices were completely eaten. The massacre man breathed a sigh of relief. No point in killing the monster. Why, the monster saved his reputation! The evidence of his necrophilia was gone.
"Heh, Killer. You're the one that didn't dispose the body that the bar maid was yelling about."
Killer was startled, but with practiced calm he managed a reply. "I just wanted to move it further out of town. Maybe that'll make the beast that she mentioned go away."
"Hn. I don't think there is a beast. I think she just wanted the body out of town. And by the way, what did she do? Was she a bad fuck?" He motioned to the dead girl. "Or was she satisfying and rude?"
Kid walked with Killer as the masked man dragged the corpse out of town.
"The body will be fine here," said Kid as they reached a field of overgrown grass and bushes.
Killer hid the body in one of the bushes, and this time, made sure not to leave and trace of himself. While Killer busied himself with this, Kid decided to take a leak in another bush. He aimed at what looked like a little baby in the bush. The creature scampered off towards Killer, the same creature that developed a peculiar taste for a Killer's seed. The creature jumped up and oh god! Not there, little guy! Don't bite him there! Killer was alert and managed to kick the thing far away from his jewels.
"Hehe, did that thing just try to emasculate you?" Kid doubled over laughing. "What the fuck was that! Hahaha!"
Only Killer and the all-knowing narrator knew the dark and angry expression that lay beneath the mask.
Back in town, Rusla was preparing for her 8 AM to 5 PM sleep. At the inn, some of Kid's crew had started to get up. They wondered what happened to Kid and Killer, but they just figured they got an early start on the day or something completely good, mundane, wholesome, and normal. Yes, nothing weird could happen today. Or so went the thoughts of Rusla and the remaining Kid pirates.
The pirates continued stocking up on supplies, necessary supplies rather than mags and lube. Breadstuffs, preserved meats, preserved fruits, nuts, barrels of water, and most important, barrels of whiskey, beer, and rum. There weren't any decent cooks aboard, so most the boys spent money left over from the hookers on decent meals. Considering the low quality of the food on ship, even the cheap food on the stalls was a blessing. While it helps to have strong members on the crew, would it kill their captain to invest in a chef? One of the pirates was chewing on this peculiar dish of some sort of squid filled with the testicles of some sort of bovine. The locals said it promoted strength and virility, and with the low prices on girls here, he'll need all the strength he could muster.
It was late afternoon when Rusla had finally woken up. First order of business was to keep the carrion beast from heading into town. It was for peculiar occurrences like these that the town allowed a place like Blue Moon Bar to exist. The regulars of Blue Moon were conveniently found in one place and could do the dirty work of keeping up with appearances. She scouted the outer perimeter of the town, when she suddenly caught sight of her new captain and his masked buddy.
"What brought you this far out of town?" Rusla asked, hoping they might have some glimmer of information on the recent menace.
"Just sightseeing," Kidd replied with a bullshitting grin.
"Oh of course. You wouldn't happen to have caught sight of the creature I was yelling about last night. Those things are quite the nuis- oh Killer, what happened to your hands?" She immediately grabbed his hands and sniffed them. "You should be a little more careful Killer. Decaying flesh has a very distinct odor, and so does the creature's saliva."
"Hehehe, you caught us! We were just moving the body further out of town," Kid quickly replied, saving his crewmate from a potentially awkward situation. "The creature sure was weird. It tried to bite him on the crotch! Hahahaha!" He burst out laughing once again and Rusla joined in.
"You know, these things aren't smart enough to attack a man's weak point. This sounds like the same time-"
One of her peers finishes her sentence while she starts laughing again. "- a rapist came to this town. We never had to bother tracking him down as the one of the creatures found him and chewed his manhood, cue balls and shaft, clean off. The man died of blood loss and shock. Man do you even have a fucking brain? Everyone here knows that you have to dispose the body at-"
"He has a brain, man! Between his damn thighs!" Rusla cut in and once again, laughing at the epic humiliation of Killer, Kid and her friend joining in.
When they had finally calmed down, Rusla introduced her friend Jonathan and at that convenient moment, one of Killer's earlier wishes came true. The head of the fair girl he had killed fell straight onto the unsuspecting Jonathan, who promptly shat bricks.
"I'm just going to hope that you screwed her before you killed her. If not, then seriously man, what the fuck?" commented Rusla. Kid stifled a chuckle.
Putting on some water proof gloves, Rusla picked up the head and started walking out of town, towards an area of charred rocks and ashes. "Now this were you dispose of bodies that are tainted with the scent of someone who is still alive, mmkay? Now help me start a fire." As she directed them, a larger humanoid beast approached them with the stealth of a hunter. Or rather a huntress, as this one had feminine features. Approaching was the mother of the carrion feeding menace. Many feared her yellow eyes that were the things of nightmares, but that was the least disturbing. Her genitalia were bleeding and rotting, but even still, that was not nearly as horrifying as her slimy, transparent skin. Beneath that skin, you could witness the grotesque workings of her body and the parasites that crawled through it. It was this coupled with the fear that perhaps humans aren't so much different from a such a monster that struck fear and despair in those who witnessed her.
She attacked.
As for the weird food mentions, I was watching Iron Chef and Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern
I have nothing against Killer; it's just that many fics make him super serious, and while that is in line with what Oda has shown us of Killer, I was to make him have an awkward moment or two. I'm fairly certain that Oda won't give us much background on the Kid pirates. Maybe the Heart pirates will get more attention, with them saving Luffy and all.
And sorry for not making the Thursday deadline. I was hoping that if I missed the deadline, I'd be off by an hour or two, rather than 24 hours.
NEVER FEAR! KILLER'S MANHOOD SHALL BE SPARED!