-Okay, so it's been awhile since I last updated. And it's not that there hasn't been any motivation for my readers. A few more people have added the story to their watch/favorites list, and I even got one review. I tell ya, that one comment made all the difference. It was just like the rain cleared up and the sun was out and suddenly from the heavens there was this, "AAAAAAAAAAAAMENNNNNNN!"

Okay, so perhaps it didn't happen quite like that. Anyway, I haven't given up on this story. No, I still think this is a pretty bitchin' idea. So I will continue. It's just going to take time, since I work two jobs part-time and am a sophomore in college. And my field experience will be starting soon. So if there are long breaks in-between, just know that I try to squeeze in as much time for writing as possible.\

Quick mechanics run-through. Bold with little lines following it=My own little author notes. Bold with quotation marks=Singing. Italics with quotation marks=character thoughts. Italics without quotation marks=dreams or other subconscious activity.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I don't own Halestorm. -

After three years of pushing it to the back of his mind, Roxas didn't even remember what had happened on the day he had turned eighteen-years-old.

Sure, it was hard for the blonde to banish those stunning green eyes, that wild red head of hair, the gentleness in Axel's nature. He'd wake up in a cold sweat after having a dream or a nightmare, immediately running to the bathroom to vomit or breaking down into anguished sobs. He didn't know why it affected him that way, but he was aware of the immense sadness based on his decision to leave.

He could always go back, too. He knew where Axel lived, and it was safe to assume that he would see Axel at that same club again. But he was terrified of what could happen afterward. So naturally, he avoided these places like the plague.

And as time went by, he was able to numb himself to the feelings of sadness that resulted from his decision. He pushed them to the back of his mind, refused to think about them for even a moment. He had convinced himself that it hadn't ever happened.

After those first three years, Roxas led the life of a normal young adult. Graduating high school and being in the workforce for three years with Axel on his mind was hard enough, and when he finally was able to push it to the very back of his mind and in a sense almost forget it, he was ready to move on and start anew. Leaving his old life and old memories behind, Roxas enrolled in the local technical college, and went on spring break like everyone else his age. That was where he met Namine.

For awhile he felt like he was in a dream, and that he had fallen in love with her. Coming back from the beach he kept in touch with her, maintaining the position as her boyfriend. They continued to see each other and grew closer, establishing an intellectually and mentally intimate relationship with her.

But when that pivotal moment came to establish that physical connection, Roxas hovering over his lover as she lay beneath him in anticipation, he felt as if he couldn't do it. He shifted over and climbed off, sighing to himself as his eyes scanned the room, trying to find his boxers.

"Is…is something wrong?" Namine asked.

"No…no, it's not you, I just…I just can't do this right now."

"But…I mean…I just don't understand, Roxas. I thought you loved me. I thought we both wanted this."

Roxas pulled his underwear up off the floor and slid them on, then sat back on the edge of the bed. He didn't face her though. "I do love you, Namine."

"Then why…"

"I just don't think I'm ready, okay?"

And they had left it at that. But why had Roxas hesitated like that? He was sure that this was what he had wanted to do, and it wasn't like he was a virgin or anything. And sure, he loved her, right? So then why couldn't he?

By now it had been so long that Axel was no longer a part of his regular memory. It was so deep inside of him that he couldn't find the answer even if he wanted to. So now he was left confused as to why this was happening. He was constantly searching for an answer, questioning his everyday actions that had never raised suspicion before, but if there was any clue as to what had been going on then he was sure it would be found there.

He finally came to a conclusion, and after reaching it he knew there was only one thing he could do if he wanted to save his relationship with Namine. Deep inside him, he knew if he wanted to totally obliterate Axel from his memory then this had to be done.

"Namine, will you marry me?"

And here he was sitting in the same club he had visited for his eighteenth birthday almost five years ago, now back for a whole different reason. Instead of celebrating the freedom of being an adult, he would now be cherishing his last night as an unmarried bachelor.

Entering he felt something odd was up; the whole place seemed very familiar to him. But since the whole incident with Axel had been buried and was almost gone, he couldn't remember why it was so familiar to him. As he downed his drink the men surrounding him whistled at the dancers located in their cages attached to the ceiling. All save for his brother, Sora, who was looking around nervously, obviously uncomfortable in the situation.

Roxas just shrugged it all off. He going to be married in less than 24 hours, and he felt like ogling at other women would somehow be cheating on his longtime girlfriend and future wife.

He took another sip and looked over to Hayner, who had gone up to the bar minutes ago for what he assumed would be another drink. Yet when he glanced over he noticed the other blond talking to the bartender and pointing at him, followed by the man nodding his head and continue speaking, though this time in a hush-hush sort of tone. Hayner frowned and sighed, but then after a few more words from the barkeep he nodded his head and forked over a wad of bills, to which the man behind the counter motioned for another guy and whispered something in his ear.

"Hayner, what the hell are you up to?" Roxas asked, glaring daggers as his friend came back over.

"Well this is a bachelor party," he said snickering, some of the other guys sitting at the table with him hooting and hollering. "Alright, way to go, Hayner!" his friend Pence cheered, raising his fist in the air. "He got us a stripper!"

"More like I got him a private show," Hayner sighed, "the bartender said she was the best in the joint, but that she only did showings with an audience of one. I thought I'd sacrifice our entertainment for his sake because it's his last night of being a free man and all."

"Yeah, because you really needed to do that, Hayner," Roxas retorted. He was ready to head out and maybe take his brother with him; it was clear that Sora didn't want to be there either. He got up but then was pushed back down by his so called friend, the other shaking his head in protest.

"Oh no, no, no! I paid a shitload of money for you to have fun with this chick! Now you are going to sit here and in half an hour you are going to go back and get your private show and you are going to like it!"

"And if I refuse?"

"I'll put those pictures of you in a dress in your wedding slideshow."

Hayner didn't have him cornered, but he would like to maintain some of his manly pride during what would be an emotionally charged day. Pictures of him dressed up as a woman would get in the way of that goal. "Fine," he sighed, picking up his glass and downing the rest of it in one swig. "Then get me s'more of these. I'm going to need it."

"Trust me, dude. You'll like her. Her nickname is The Dancing Flames. She sounds smokin'!"

Roxas looked left and right, searching for the door that would contain this mystery woman whom his friends had so graciously purchased some alone time with. If he was lucky she wouldn't object to being paid for doing nothing and he could just sit and wait it out, and if not then he'd just be shit out of luck. His feet padded against the red-carpeted floor, the dimmed lights of the hallway making it a bit more difficult to read the numbers printed right above the frame. Or maybe it was the amount of alcohol in his system.

"Room five…room seven…room nine…"

Oh, it must be on the other side of the hall. Sure enough, he turned around and was then face-to-face with room number eight, where the Dancing Flames would be. He hesitantly reached forward, his fingers wrapping together to form a first, gently tapping on the door in front of him. His knock was soft and barely audible, and if it weren't for the utter silence that plagued the whole hallway, he was sure that the woman inside wouldn't be able to hear.

A deep voice whispered to him through the door, telling him to come in. The voice made him shudder and his heart suddenly started pounding. He shouldn't be this nervous; didn't just minutes ago he was so against it that it shouldn't bother him? He blamed it on his dulled senses; the alcohol was playing tricks on him. There was nothing to be worried about.

So he wrapped his hand around the knob and turned it slightly to his right, the door making a creaky noise as it slowly opened, a small trickle of light from the hall flooding into the almost pitch-black room. There were a few candles strewn about to light the way, but they barely added anything to the darkness in the room.

Another thing he noticed were the rose petals spread across the floor, with full-bloom ones carefully placed across a table that had a bottle of wine at the center, two glasses glistening from the light of a nearby candle. No wonder she only did her sessions in private.

"Are you Roxas?" the voice said, almost shaking slightly. It was way too deep to be female, and had a familiar ring to it that excited and terrified him at the same time. "Yeah, I am."

And he stepped out of the shadows of the room, his face illuminated by the few candles that were placed around the room. She looked womanly enough, with long, red hair, spiked up a bit, but still seeming to flow on and highlight her pale face. There were little tattoos underneath her green eyes, and when Roxas saw the color he swallowed. They were the most beautiful eerie green. Like…like…

"Poison…"

"Come again?" she strained, and it was obvious from her stance that she was nervously shaking. Her thin, long black robe, tied shut, fluttered at the bottom as her legs swayed her back and forth. "P….please, sit down…." She gestured to the table. Roxas did take a seat, but she remained standing, taking the bottle of wine and lifting it to the edge of the glass, tipping it gently and pouring the blood-red liquid from the bottle.

"Drink."

So he did. Roxas lifted the cup to his lips, his gaze never leaving those familiar green eyes that nervously fluttered open and shut, scanning the room every now and then. He lifted the glass and took another sip, this time closing his eyes in order to savor the taste dripping down his throat.

But when he opened them, the woman was on his lap. Her robe was now open, and he could see that she was actually a he; his pale, toned chest exposed, a hard member poking up at his own stomach. Roxas's eyes went wide from shock, but he didn't move, didn't say a thing. Thoughts screaming at him to get out of there, that this was wrong. He was getting married tomorrow!

But…he couldn't. As the redhead wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him into a long, tight embrace, somewhere in Roxas's heart he felt peace. There was that little voice inside of him that whispered softly, barely audible for even himself to hear.

"Welcome home."

"Drink the wine my darling you said," the redhead broke his embrace and began to suckle on the blonde's neck. He gasped, entwining his fingers into those brilliant red locks as he felt a sharp bite pierce his skin, drawing in an even quicker gasp. This seemed so familiar, yet he couldn't trace it back to any part of his memory, which at the moment was clouded with alcohol, lust, and desire.

"Take your time and consume all of it. But the roses were only to drain my inspiration," he craned his neck to one side to allow the man better access, who immediately began licking down the newly-abused flesh, fingers fumbling to undo the buttons of the shirt to continue his trail down the blonde's chest. His eyes fluttered open, noticing the surroundings of the room that he had only glanced at before, trying to take it all in. "The promises were spoiled before they left your lips, and I breathe you in again," he took in another sharp gasp that was followed by a long, passionate moan as he felt the redhead get to the bottom of his shirt and snake his hands up and down his chest. Those warm, big hands felt magical against his flesh.

"Just to feel you underneath my skin holding onto," the redhead's tongue then continued it's descent down from his neck and onto his chest, his fingers massaging his abdomen, mouth stopping at one of his nipples. When he felt that hot, wet mouth surround the small bud he let out an even louder moan, throwing his head back in ecstasy. "The sweet escape is always laced with the familiar taste of poison."

As the redhead switched nipples, assaulting the other one, swirling his tongue around, something came back into Roxas's memory. History was basically repeating itself. He knew this person, had these same feelings for him before; these feelings of everything being so right yet so wrong at the same time. "I tell myself that you're no good for me." Those hands on his stomach snaked down to his hips and began sensually rubbing them, moving his fingers up and down, sending massive tingles of pleasure up his spine before dipping into the waistband of his pants slowly moving across his skin.

"I wish you well, but desire never leaves," another short breath escaped his lips as he felt the redhead's hands cup his ass, massaging his cheeks, pants loosely clinging to him now. The pleasure was so intense; Roxas really couldn't ignore the double-feeling of shame and bliss from this. There was this constant inner-battle between his mind and his heart, and he honestly wanted to side with his true feelings. "I could fight this 'til the end, but maybe I don't want to win."

"I breath you in again," his felt his pants go down and heard a pair of knees hit the floor, the weight that was on his lap leave, as he looked down to see the redhead with his face against his chest, hugging him. It was wet with a mix of sweat and tears, the body below him shaking in sobs, hot breath tickling his navel. "I love you, Roxas. I love you."

This man knew his name? Then he must have known him before. Did he recognize him from his dreams? "Just to feel you underneath my skin holding onto," he felt his briefs being yanked down and his member exposed. Almost immediately, ignoring any foreplay, the redhead's mouth took Roxas's length in whole, sucking at it ferociously. Roxas screamed in pleasure, feeling himself twitch in pleasure as the man in front of him sucked him off. "The sweet escape is always laced with the familiar taste of poison."

"I don't want to be saved, I don't want to be sober I want you on my mind." Yes, this man had to be from his dreams; that's where he recognized him from. But what was the man's name? He had to think on this one, go back to these dreams where he would utter sweet nothings to him, scream his name in fits of ecstasy. He would usually wake up to his dreams, but this time he refused to.

"In my dreams, behind these eyes and I wanna wake up. No, not this time."

And as the man started bobbing up and down and Roxas's orgasm rapidly approached, that coil in his stomach slowly coming undone, member weeping pre-cum into his awaiting mouth, it was slowly coming back to him. The name…it was…it was…

"I breathe you in again just to feel you underneath my skin holding onto the sweet escape is always laced with the familiar taste of poison."

And he felt himself explode and his vision go white, ejaculating his seed into the redhead's mouth, it was there. The name had resurfaced, and he shouted it out as his eyes squeezed shut, overcome by pleasure. "Axel!"

The room was completely quiet as Axel's head jerked upward, tears bordering the bottoms of his eyes and looking up at him hopefully. He moved back up to Roxas, staring deep into his eyes and searching for an answer. Seconds later it looked as if he had found it, his lips curling into a sad smile. In turn Roxas stared into those beautiful green eyes. "The familiar taste of poison."

Leaning forward, Axel pressed his lips to the blonde's and held himself there, refusing to take himself off or press himself in any farther. His heart finally felt happy; he was with the one that he had loved for so many years, who he had been pining for and wishing on every star that they would one day finally meet and relive that night. And now they were together again.

But this simple kiss did made Roxas realize that this wasn't a dream; this was real. The memories of that night and all of his feelings surrounding Axel resurfaced, and with it a violent wave of emotion. Love and fear, hope and despair, all of the emotions he had felt when he had turned eighteen years old.

He began to panic.

Roxas immediately started struggling, breaking the gentle kiss. Axel stared at him with a look of confusion as he frantically began moving around, yanking his pants back up his legs whilst still sitting down, one had going back up to his shirt as he tried to button ever a few of them up.

"Roxas?"

He jumped, and the chair he was still seated on leaning backward as he ungracefully flipped himself backward, waving his hands in the air as he tried to get some gravity back to pull him forward, but to no avail. After crash-landing, even in pain he was more than eager to get the hell out of this place. He looked disheveled, the deer-in-headlights looked etched across his face. Ignoring his undone belt hanging casually around his pants and his not-all-the-way buttoned shirt he immediately shot up and burst into a sprint, slamming himself against the door, his hands shaking violently as he tried to let himself out.

"Roxas!"

The redhead had gotten up, and Roxas turned his head around for that small moment. He noticed how Axel looked just as scared as he did, but there was something different about it. Not wanting to find out, he finally got the door open, and swiftly ran out and down the hallway, forgetting about his friends waiting in the club and frantically searching for a way outside. He needed to slow down and catch his breath, but he couldn't just yet. First he needed to get out.

Looking left and right, he noticed a backdoor, and he raced to the door, his body slamming against the wooden appendage and forcing it open, panting and choking on the muggy air outside. He heaved in and out as he slumped against the brick wall of the building, desperately trying to catch his breath. As the sticky air slithered down his throat and into his lungs he touched his lips, Axel's kiss still lingering.

"The familiar taste of poison."

Not wanting to spend another moment there, in fear that Axel would come bursting out of that door, right behind him, he began to walk out of the alley and into the street. He couldn't spend another minute here, and without even so much bothering to let his friends know he had left he kept walking. One step in front of the other, he felt it inside of him. His heart was breaking again. And fuck, he wanted to cry so bad; to just let the tears flow like they had so long ago. But he sure as hell wasn't going to let the world see him like this. So he just kept walking, his form disappearing into the night as he tried to find his way home.

Back inside, a dejected redhead sat on the floor, crying, cursing the world for again taking away the only thing he had ever truly wanted.

"Roxas…"

TBC

Somehow he had a feeling that maybe this wasn't what he wanted. What if he did have to break her heart?

"Night."

Odd, Namine thought. There was usually a bit more than a one-syllable response.

"I love you."

And as she turned back over, Roxas couldn't find it in his heart to say it back because there was that small chance that it wasn't true.

And there you have it. Chapter 4 is ready, but I need to start working on Chapter 5 in order to give you a preview at the end. Hopefully that will get done within the next 2-3 weeks…I'm going to try to get it out sooner than that, but right now that's the more realistic picture. Anyway, read and review, over and out! -Nibzo-