-Ah! Sorry for such the long time between updates! I have some really horrible news; my computer crashed! It's been in pretty bad shape for awhile, and when I was trying to backup my documents it stopped loading right in the middle and just went kaput!

And I had thought all my documents were all gone for the time being, at least until I got them all backed up and transferred over to another computer. That would include this scene. But when I looked on the flash drive that I was putting all the documents onto to my surprise it had still backed up half of the things I wanted! Including this scene and the next one. So this story doesn't have to go on hiatus for another two weeks or so.

Or, so I thought when I originally uploaded this chapter. Because all of last week there was the whole site trafficking error that made attaching new chapters to stories impossible in high frequented areas. Including the Kingdom Hearts section.

So that explains my absence. Please forgive me (or at least forgive me for the week where not uploading was out of my control). So, so, so sorry! Let's move right along.

Disclaimer: Do not own Kingdom Hearts. Do not own Halestorm. Simple as that.-

It was late. Axel had just gotten back to the sleazy motel room he had rented before heading to look for work. The faded light and disgusting, stain covered yellow wallpaper was the only place he could afford at the moment, and he would possibly have to move again, after running out of Royal Garden like that yelling, "I quit."

But it wasn't as if he had been expecting him to walk through the doors like that. It had totally caught him off guard, and when he saw Roxas making out with Marluxia, his new boss, he thought that perhaps his heart had been hit by a bus. He let out a really small laugh thinking back to it and how he had escaped, randomly jumping into the car of some random strangers and telling them to drive him back to this place. He must have scared the shit out of them.

But his laugh quickly faded to a sigh as he was reminded of exactly why he had done that in the first place. Why did this keep happening to him? I was bad enough that Roxas had run away from him all those years ago after he had had the best night of his life. Or when he was able to finally see him after all those years, and how he had suddenly bolted then, too.

He sat down on the bed, which let out a string of creaky protests to the added weight. Sighing again, he leaned his head into his hands in disbelief. Fate had a really weird way of bringing people back into your life. For the redhead, the current string of events was just too much for his aching heart to bear.

He had to go even farther away. This was all a mistake, and he needed to forget about Roxas and move on with his life. If only…if only things had never escalated that night! How could he have been so stupid?

"You made a mistake on the day that you met me and lost your way." Axel got up from his bed and reached out, almost thinking that Roxas was there in front of him. "You saw all the signs, but you let it go," his fists clenched, those vibrant green eyes once so full of life yet now dulled from the emotional trauma of the past few years closing slowly. Perhaps if his eyes were shut, he could pretend that Roxas was there in front of him, right now. "You closed your eyes."

Quickly opening them, his vision of the small blonde in front of him faded. He was facing the mirror on the old, chipped up bureau, the cracks in the mirror almost representing Axel's previous flawed conception of life and himself. "I should have told you to leave 'cause I knew all the time you couldn't handle me," his head quickly snapped away from the mirror, not wanting to look at it for a second longer. Turning his back to it, he again headed to his bed, but didn't move to sit down quite yet. Instead, he felt himself sink to his knees, eyes once again shut to visualize the blonde in front of him. "But you're hard to resist when you're on your knees begging me."

Axel bent over at the waist, still on his knees, so that his head was touching the ground. Godamnit, he told himself he wouldn't cry anymore over this. He knew that being with Roxas had been a mistake, and that it shouldn't have happened, but it wasn't worth beating himself up over anymore. He had know that he would be too much for Roxas and that expecting anything after their lovemaking that evening would be too much to ask from the younger man. "I'll tear you down. I'll make you bleed eternally."

He was able to imagine himself and the sorry state he was in. How Roxas had found him like that, and how after the blonde had run away from him and hurt him so many times, he had finally done the same in return. "Can't help myself from hurting you when it's hurting me."

His fists met the ground as he pounded them in frustration. "I don't have wings!" he exclaimed, "To fly with me won't be easy. 'Cause I'm not an angel," he felt himself shake at this, admitting it to himself finally, that he wasn't going to be good enough to be with Roxas. The tears that had been building were finally able to break free, the first one trickling down his cheek, more soon to follow. "I'm not an angel."

Lifting himself up off from his knees, he figured crying on the ground like a girl wouldn't do him any good. "Hate being that wall that you hit when you feel like you gave it all," he said, wiping the first tears that had fallen in his confession to himself. In a way, he did see himself as a wall. Roxas kept coming and going into his life, and it was almost like the blonde wouldn't be able to move until Axel, the wall, was moved. Until then, the blonde would keep colliding into him, the past resurfacing for both of them whenever their eyes met. "I keep taking the blame," he whispered, taking his realization to heart, "when we both know that I'll never change."

"I'll tear you down," he clenched his eyes, his teeth, his fists, as he once again lamented over the torment he was causing the blonde by being that wall preventing him from moving forward, "I make you bleed eternally. Can't help myself," smirking, it coming to him that it wasn't only the blonde suffering from his actions, "from hurting you when it's hurting me. I don't have wings; to fly with me won't be easy." He shook his head, fists lowering as his fingers stretched back out. "'Cause I'm not an angel. I'm not an angel."

"I wasn't always this way," he voiced his thoughts, remembering the days before Roxas, before strip clubs and crime and all things wrong. Back to the time when he was just a regular kid growing up in suburbia. He carried around a picture of him and his old friends to remind him every day of the mistakes he had made. It went with him wherever he went, and that included his sudden escape. In a frame on a nightstand in his motel room it stood, staring back and him as a constant reminder. A few steps across the small motel room and he was facing it; the tall, lanky blonde sticking out his tongue and the short, stubborn blunette swatting at him in an attempt to make him behave. And Axel in the middle, giving the two rabbit ears as he cheekily smiled at the camera.

He picked up that picture, ran his fingers against the glassy surface. They lingered at the familiar faces of his friends, and for a short moment, he smiled. "I used to be the one with the halo."

That smile too faded quickly, as he turned around, placing the picture facedown on the desk. "But that disappeared when I had my first taste and fell from grace. It left me," he gestured to his environment; the small, unkempt motel room a symbol of his current state, "in this place."

His pacing and heavy thinking had left him exhausted. He had resolved to start packing his things back up and head out, so that he could get even farther away. But what really was he running from? And…why was the blonde chasing him in return?

That really did leave him wondering. His initiative to just running hit a staggering halt when he thought of that. Was there that small possibility that the blonde felt the same way? That Roxas was really chasing him in an attempt to get him back?

He stopped, really wondering if what this meant was possible. He was the boy's sole tormentor, the one that haunted him night and day and prevented him from living his life. But the fact that Roxas could really be in love with him was a different concept he had never really thought about. "Now I'm starting to think," he stopped, but then continued, thinking positively, "that maybe you like it."

"I'll tear you down. I make you bleed eternally," he repeated, yet this one thought of Roxas actually wanting him stayed. "Can't help myself from hurting you when it's hurting me. I don't have wings; to fly with me won't be easy." But then again, all this negative thinking was worthless if there was just that sliver of hope.

"'Cause I'm not an angel. I'm not an angel," he voiced, as loud as he could, so that perhaps it'd get through to him. Because this sliver of hope was just that, and was too small for him to put his broken heart on the line for anymore.

"I'm not angel, I'm not an angel!" he cried, repeating it to himself to get it through his thick skull. He felt himself beginning to tear up again at the thought. That one glimmer of hope was obstructing his negative feelings, and was making him rethink himself.

"I'm not an angel," he cried, feeling them starting to fall once again. "I'm not an angel."

"But then again…who is?"

With this thought in mind, and with that small hope, he was able to wipe his tears and make a final decision. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to stay for just a little bit longer.

TBC

-Alright, so after this I had planned on three more chapters. Three more songs on the cd, y'know. Depending on how much I write will determine if I divide them out initially how I had planned. Though I guess the length of them hasn't really stopped me in the past.

Anyway, news from me, I guess…

Packers won the Super Bowl. And Clay Matthews is a god.

I quit one of my jobs. Boo for less income, hooray for having weekends and holidays back

I'll have a new computer shortly. Just need the software and to get some anti-virus placed on it and I won't have to sit at public computers typing away ferociously and feeling awkward.

Scene Preview

He had to have Roxas. He just had to. And he had the upper hand. With this in mind, he handed Roxas a wad of bills after his evening performance, the sweaty blonde staring at the cash blankly as he breathed in and out in an attempt to catch his breath.

"What's this for?" he asked between pants.

"From your audience, of course. Or rather, a member of the audience who wants to spend a bit of time with you."

With that, the blonde's eyes grew wide. Fuck, which one was it? There were so many of them he hadn't had time to look. Though the majority of them were balding, overweight office men, it could have been anyone.

"Take the money. I'm not doing it."

"My dear," Maluxia purred, Roxas instantly glaring at those words, "you do not have a choice. Now I told you that your first couple of days I would try my best to keep them from coming. But, who could resist? You're so…so," he slowly reached a hand to Roxas, the blonde slightly cowering back in fear, but determined to keep that icy look upon his face. Marluxia cupped the boy's chin, his fingers gently grazing across his skin. "Irresistible."

And there you have it. Hope that everyone is having a good week and has a terrific weekend and I'll try to get the next chapter up in 1-2 weeks.

Read and review, over and out! -Nibzo-