You're POV

The hunting trip was horrible; I couldn't concentrate as the thought of Bella's soft warm lips plagued my thoughts and the fact that Alice wouldn't stop nagging and winging about Bella from her 'plain' clothes to her 'clumsiness' it took everything in me to not growl at her. Arriving home I caught Bella's scent, I walked inside and looked at the clock to see that it was one in the morning. I was itching to see her again and from the corner of my eye I saw Edward nod his head as if to give me permission to go.

"I'm going for a walk to clear my head of everything" I said briskly kissing Alice on the forehead, I watched as she nodded her head almost hesitantly and kissed my lips, the kiss was great but it was just nothing compared to the one Bella and I shared. I guess she didn't see my true intentions, from time to time Alice can't see my future and I am so glad for that right now. Following my singers scent, yes I'm not as stupid or oblivious as Edward thinks, I let my feet pelt across the soft grass as I ran, I loved running I always felt free to be myself and not some different human. I hated acting human but I had to do it, at first it was to keep my loving wife happy but now I think about it, it's now to make sure that I don't hurt or scare my Bella.

Everything has changed since I have met her, from my feelings to my out look on things. Reaching Bella's house I stopped below the window with the strongest volume of her scent, I waited and listened to make sure she was asleep.

At hearing her steady breathing I jumped onto her window sill as silently as I would if I was hunting my prey, I shook my head to get rid of the thought. I lightly pushed her window to find it was unlocked, feeling my protective side come out I opened her window, climbing in not making any sound.

I looked over to her sleeping form and was entranced by her beauty, I quickly looked around her room to see her computer chair vacant, pulling it slightly closer to the bed I sat down watching my love sleep, I knew this was wrong, everything about this is wrong. I have a loving and faithful wife at home, who doesn't have a clue where I am. I sighed softly placing my head into my hands, I am so confused. Alice has done so much for me from helping me with my bloodlust to helping me open up to people, I'm actually surprised that I'm still sitting on this chair and not draining the girl before me. I felt my heart brake as the images of Bella's limp body drained of blood filled my head.

"Abby?" I froze; I didn't even hear her stir or wake up, cursing at myself for being so stupid I unwillingly let her heavenly sleepy voice echoed through my head before I slowly lifted my head to see her looking at me smiling wide.

"What's wrong, bells?" I asked seeing her eyes light up, I walked over to her bed as she sat up watching my every move.

I sat down on her bed and froze feeling her crawl onto my lap and burying her face into the crook of my neck, her scent was too strong, inside my head I was having an internal battle one side was trying to keep her alive with showing me false hope of us being together and happy. The other side wanted me to drain her sweet blood as images flashed before my eyes of myself slowly sinking my teeth into her silk neck, letting the sweet red nectar sooth my scorching throat. I looked down at her pained and torn I was trying desperately to keep the monster side of me at bay, not that Bella clinging to me was helping in the slightest when my mind flooded with my families sad and disappointed faces, I couldn't do it.

I slowly and hesitantly wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer to my body wanting the connection between us stronger, I relaxed after a few minutes and rested my head on top of hers taking light shallow breaths to try and get used to the most delicious scent in the world.

"Are you ok?" she asked concerned, if only she knew the half of it she'd be running away from me faster then I can.

"Yes why?" I asked slightly confused.

"it's just that your breathing, but not breathing properly and your freezing" I tensed at her words making me even more suspicious but I was unsure of what to say to her so I gently lay her down on the bed, got up and walked over to the window looking into the forest. I really shouldn't have come, I shouldn't be anywhere near here, I should by with my Alice. I was about to jump out of the window, at human speed seeing as Bella was watching me but she grabbed my marble arm with her fragile hand.

"I have to go, I'm sorry but this is wrong, I love Alice" I said coldly not turning to face her and jumped out of the window and ran home. All the way home I was torturing myself with scenes of my Alice leaving me and I knew I deserved it. Alice deserved someone so much better then me, I was only holding her down with my blood lust she shouldn't have to handle an uncontrollable vampire who could snap at anytime and kill anything and everything in site.