The transition from Utah to Nevada was easy and passed Arthur by as he napped. Merlin roused him with a kiss for lunch around. Arthur smiled into it and slid out of the car. He followed after Merlin like a duckling after its mother into a dingy road-side restaurant and a sagging booth.

"I'll have two helpings of bacon next to three eggs over-easy and four pieces of toast. Please," Merlin said cheerfully to the waitress.

She popped her gum and looked at Arthur. Smiled a little. Arthur gave her a quick smile and then dropped his eyes to his menu. "I guess I'll have hot cereal and a side of sausage patties."

"What do you want to drink?"

"Tea for me."

"Do you have orange juice with pulp?" Merlin asked.

"Nope. Just pulpless," she said tonelessly.

"Right. Then, apple juice?" He asked hopefully.

"It'll be right out." She turned and headed back into the kitchen.

"You like pulpy orange juice?"

"If you don't, I don't think we can be friends anymore."

Arthur snorted and tucked into his oatmeal when it came with a curt clack onto the table. "Of course, Merlin." Conversation then went easy through mouthfulls of food, until Merlin gave him that look. So Arthur followed him out after watching him drop the bills on the table. "How is it, Merlin, you have so much money?" He wondered idly. "You always pay in cash. You never say where you get it either."

"Don't worry about it," Merlin responded, dropping himself into the seat of the car. "We all set? Get in, Arthur!"

Arthur sighed. "To California?"

"That'll be the end." Merlin started the car.

"Then what."

"Hm?"

Arthur shrugged. "Then what?"

Merlin shrugged right back and then accelerated into traffic.

"Do you have a plan, Merlin?"

"Arthur. You worry too much."

"I do not! I just... I've never... Well. We're kind of just driving aimlessly," Arthur said casually.

"Isn't that the point?"

Arthur sighed and left it, slouching down in the seat to prop his feet up on the dash. "Alright."

"You'll get your answers, Arthur," Merlin said quietly.

"Aw, Merlin, that wasn't... That wasn't..." He snuck a look at Merlin and then turned his eyes to the road again as awkward silence descended on the car.

Several miles down the road, Merlin finally sighed and pulled over, gripping the steering wheel and staring straight ahead.

"You alright, mate?"

"Arthur. Just... Just stop with the questions for now. Okay. Can... can you do that?"

Arthur sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's fine. But you'll tell me, right?"

"Yeah. Arthur. I'll tell you. Let's just... Let's just let things be. 'kay?" Merlin gave him a weak smile.

"You're one odd bird. You know that?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response." And just like that the awkward silence was gone. Merlin shared weird stories about his own pet bird and Arthur told him about the fish his cousin had unloaded onto him that he kept in his room for two and a half weeks until his father found out and then flushed the silly thing. Arthur was mad about it all over again. Banging his knees, he shouted until Merlin was laughing.

"Wait. Wait stop here!"

"What?" Merlin pulled over to the side, looking around frantically.

"No, relax. It's just... the California sign! We should... I dunno. Take a picture. You know. For posterity's sake?"

Merlin blinked at him. "Um. Okay?"

"Yeah, put the car in park and let's get out and take a photo!" Arthur unbuckled and jumped out of the car. "Come on, Merlin! Come on!"

Merlin laughed and rummaged around in the car for a few minutes before joining Arthur on the hot pavement for several attempts at a photo before Merlin finally grabbed him around the shoulders and held the camera out in front of them. Snapping two pictures, Merlin smiled at him and then stuck the camera in his hand. "Let's go then."

Arthur put his hand over Merlin's on the steering wheel. "Can I drive?"
"No you can't drive... Do you even have a license?"

"What? Of course I have a license!"

Merlin laughed, started the car, and pulled into traffic.

Question successfully dodged. Arthur sighed. "Tell me. What was your family like?" He looked over just in time to see Merlin's secret little smile. But soon gave up after Merlin didn't answer him.

Hours down the road: "Warm."

"Turn the air up."

Merlin laughed under his breath. "I meant my family, you numbskull. My mom was the kindest person you could ever meet. One of those tv moms, you know? In those 60s sit-coms. That's what she was like. With cake. And cookies. And hot chocolate when you came home from school. The one that brought your lunch when you forgot it. Was room mom in grade school. Made chicken noodle soup when you were sick. She was that mom. Smothering sometimes." He gave a low laugh. "I hated it when I got into high school. Because she was also that mom. The one that would drop me off and kiss my cheek. Ruffle my hair. God, I hated it. It was so embarrassing. And she would bring my lunch when I forgot it. Leave little notes in it. Still. Because I was an idiot and forgot it at home. On the counter. And she would cut my crusts off. And stick in jelly beans because they were my favourite. And go a year without new clothes that one time so I could go on the class trip to D.C. She was that kind of mom."

Arthur nodded. "Cool."

Merlin laughed the same laugh again. "Right. Yeah. Real cool."

Arthur felt his shoulders hunch. "Sorry, mate. I ju—"

"Relax, Arthur. Relax. You take everything too personally. Chill the heck out. Geeze, you're so high strung."

"Hey! Sorry! I don't know how to respond to that! My mom's dead, 'kay? She's dead. I don't know what it's like to have a mom. So yours sounds just peachy. All I've got is a stick-up-his-ass father who expects way too much out of me because his own childhood sucked or some sort of psychological bullshit, and I just... I just... Fuck it. I'm just jealous. 'Kay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's alright." Merlin reached over and put a hand on his thigh.

"And if you think that's supposed to be comforting, you're wrong."

Merlin's hand disappeared.

"It just turns me on."

"Geeze!" He looked at him sharply. "You're a horny bastard, aren't you?"

"Whatever." Arthur folded his arms, scowling out the window at the California lakes and hills.

"We could... Do it in the bathroom at the next restaurant."

"That's dirty."

Merlin leered at him.

"Don't do that; it's creepy and disturbing."

"I think those generally mean the same thing. But it would be fun."

"I don't think 'fun' is the right word."

"Exhilarating then. Don't be picky. You wanna?"

"I might need some convincing."

Merlin laughed. "You're such a prick."

"I can live with that."

So the next restaurant, Merlin pulled over and sucked Arthur off, hand clamped over his mouth so he wouldn't alert the entire establishment what they were doing in the bathroom. That evening, Arthur returned the favour in the hotel.

They followed 80 all the way to through San Francisco until they met up with Route 1. Then Merlin drove North. North along the coast. Bored of the sight of the ocean, but not allowed to touch, he napped in the passenger seat while Hootie and the Blowfish wound out of the stereo. They'd gotten an early start, but Merlin wouldn't tell him where they were going.

"Are we there yet?" Arthur let his head fall against the window. "Are we there yet?" Then they hit a bump so he moved his head to the side of Merlin's seat. "Are we there yet?"

"Arthur, if you ask me one more time, I'm going to knock you unconscious until we are there. Then I'll dump you in the ocean and leave."

"Ass."

Merlin snorted.

"Hey, Inglenook. Can we stop for a potty break?"

"Is this like that potty break, or just a potty break."

"Just a potty break. I'm bored. Want to stretch my legs."

Merlin shook his head. "We're almost there. You can see the ocean."

"Merlin, I've been able to see the ocean for the past three hours."

"Can't you wait? Piss in the ocean."

He couldn't summon the energy to laugh. "Ehn." But let Merlin drive through Inglenook, such as it was, small town, without pulling over. Turning off Route 1 onto some tiny road, Arthur watched Merlin, his shoulders tensing up. He sighed and shifted so he was half facing Merlin, leaning against the door, rolling the window down.

"Leave it up. It's hot."

"It's California."

"That's not an explanation."

Arthur smiled. "I want to smell the sea air."

"What are you, a child?"

Arthur cocked his head. "Hm."

"What? What does that mean?" Merlin shifted from Arthur's face to the road and back again.

"How old are you, Merlin?"

"How old are you, Arthur?"

"I'm twenty-three."

Merlin nodded.

"So?"

"I'm twenty-six."

"Oh."

"Yes. Ask your questions, Arthur," Merlin said, slowing the car as the neared the end of the road.

"Wow... It really is. The end. Wow."

Merlin laughed. But it was hollow. "Of course. I told you, didn't I?"

"Arthur stared at the expanse of sand before them, looking out the window to the ocean. "Let's go swimming."

There was a moment of stillness in the car before Merlin sighed. "I don't understand you, Arthur Pendragon."

"It's fine. Let's go." Arthur pushed open the car door, stripping his shirt off to work off his belt and dumping them in the seat. "I don't have trunks. Naked it is."

Grinning crookedly over the top of the car, he swiftly followed suit, dumping his clothes into the car. "Well. Last one's a rotten egg?"

"I'll win."

Merlin walked around the car slowly, mad grin still on his lips, shoved Arthur so he was off-balance and then sprinted across the sand. He yelped as soon as his feet left the pavement, hopping awkwardly, body all limbs.

Arthur bent over laughing, willing himself to breathe and catch up with the mad man who'd taken him all the way across the country on a whim.

They crashed into the water, much the same as they'd crashed into each other, and Arthur couldn't help the comparison of the waves taking them over just as circumstance had man-handled them into what they currently were. Gasping for air, Arthur found Merlin's eyes on him, wide, hair plastered around his head, skinny white shoulders so stark against the blue sky and water. "Who are you," was rent from his lips and he shook his head and shoved water at Merlin. Which prompted the other man to pounce on him and dunk him under.

When they were dry and tired, sitting in front of one of Merlin's magical fires started from driftwood and twigs, Arthur finally asked his questions.

"Why don't you have a phone?"

"I don't need to call anyone."

"What about family?"

"They're gone," Merlin answered, tired. Toneless.

"What does that mean?"

"They're dead?"

"Who?"

"My father left when I was very young—too young to remember, and then I recently learned that he died in a fight. A stupid pointless fight. Well. Recent meaning five, almost six, years ago."

"And your mom?"

"Died almost a year ago."

"How?"

"Sick. She was sick. And fell down the stairs. Worried about something. I don't know. I woke and found her there. Crumpled at the bottom of the stairs."

"Shit." Arthur shifted to look at his friend...lover,... that he hardly knew. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Merlin shrugged.

"I just mean..."

"I know what you mean, Arthur. It's fine. I know what you mean, but everyone is always telling me they're sorry. What does that even mean? What does it mean to be sorry that something terrible has happened to someone." Merlin shrugged again, the gesture angry. "There's nothing to be sorry for. Someone died. Something bad happened. It sucks. But there's nothing that you, personally, need to be apologising for. So why bother."

Looking out to the ocean, black with depth and distance, Arthur was silent. "Because it makes the person feel better. Not you. But me. My mom's dead too." Arthur shrugged. "Just after childbirth. She couldn't handle it."

Merlin nodded.

"The money...?"

"Inheritance. And the money from the house."

"You're homeless?"

Merlin gave him a wan smile. "I don't need a home."

"No cliché, 'the road is my home'?"

"It has been. But now we're at the end." Merlin shifted, fixing him with a stare. "Why did you come with me, Arthur?"

"I answered that question already."

"Why did you stay with me?"

Arthur smiled at him. "Someone had to make sure you didn't drive off the road from exhaustion."

"Come on now."

Shifting, Arthur avoiding Merlin's seriousness. Finally, "Where else would I go?"

"If you had wanted to go back, I would have bought you a ticket, Arthur."

"That's why I couldn't."

Merlin shook his head. "Listen, I've really enjoyed your company for this trip, I really have. But..."

"But now you're at the end and you're done with it all?" He couldn't help the bitterness that snuck into his voice.

"No. Now I'm at the end with no idea how to go forward."

It was Arthur's turn to be startled and look searchingly into Merlin's face. "Well, you've got all this money..."

"Yes. From my mom and uncle."

"Your uncle passed too? I'm sor—um. That's awful..."

"Ha. Yes. Yes it was. But also a relief. He was sick. And forgetting himself. He died two years after we found out about my father. Of course, he and my father had been quite close as children. So... Well. Whatever it is. I inherited both his and my mom's estates."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"What were you doing?"

"Huh?"

"Your job? Did you have one?"

"I did."

"You could go back. What did you do?"

"I worked with product development for a toy company."

"Wow." Arthur smiled at him. "Wow! Really, Merlin?"

"Um... yes?"

"Wow! I can see that. Actually."

"Yeah... That's me..."

"Okay. So... is the job just on hold? Or did you quit?"

Merlin sighed. "It doesn't really matter. I had the job, I took extended leave, and here I am, travelling across the country with a baby gay—"

"Hey!"

"—and now I'm out of ideas. There's no future here, with me, Arthur, so you're better off going back to your old life."

"What...?" He felt the ire he inherited from his father rear its head. "What the hell, Merlin."

Merlin blinked at him.

"Geeze, are you seriously that self-centred?" Arthur stood and paced in a circle. "You take me for a ride, literally, and then just...what. Dump me here? Leave me at the end of the world and then just what. Waltz back to your life?" Arthur snorted. "Man. Fuck you, Merlin. Fuck you."

"What?"

"Don't give me that look. Honestly. Grow some balls, mate, and maybe take a look at what's going on here."

Merlin flushed red, brow furrowing. "Hey! Come on. It's not like you weren't aware of the—"

"The what, Merlin. The situation? Oh. Was that when you shared with me your life the first time I asked? Maybe back in... I dunno. Iowa?"

"That's not fair," Merlin countered, voice low and rumbling.

Arthur had never seen him angry. And if he weren't so angry himself, then maybe it would have been a turn on. But right now it was just self-righteous and proud. "I may not know a whole lot about the whole emotion thing, but I can tell you right now, that you're wrong. If you think that I stayed with you for a lark, then you're wrong. If you think I had sex with you for an experiment, then you're wrong. If you think that I wanted to just come to the end, then you're wrong. If you think—"

"Alright!" Merlin shot to his feet and flung his hands up, spinning away from Arthur so he could see the flush extended down his neck. "So I'm wrong. Whoopee-do! I'm only human."

"Yeah, but you don't get it."

"Okay then, hotshot, what am I supposed to be getting? Huh?" He spun.

Arthur stared at Merlin, huffed, and shook his head. "Wow. You're even denser than I thought."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"I like you, dipshit."

"Wow. Classy. Real classy of you, Arthur. Way to really show it."

Clenching and unclenching his fists, Arthur stepped back so as not to hit the man.

"I kind of figured that out by the repeat sex," Merlin sneered.

"Yeah, makes me wonder why..."

"Well, me too. I'm not exactly a 'catch.' And you didn't even know you were gay when you signed on here either."

"I'm not gay."

"Right. Right." Merlin threw his hands up again and turned away. "And what was that about not experimenting?"

"Huh? Oh! You idiot. I still like women. I just... I guess I like guys too."

"'Guys' is it?"

"Mer—oh for fucks's sake. This is ridiculous. You're getting mad for all the wrong reasons and getting mad over these stupid little things that don't matter. I'm angry because now that we're here at the end, you just want to drop me, and move on."

"What, you want to be tied to me?" He met Arthur's gaze.

"Uhh, I thought I kind of implied that by what I was saying."

Merlin dropped his eyes. "I just... I... You shouldn't feel obligated. And I don't want you to tie yourself to me because I'm your first."

"I'm not a—"

"With a guy."

It was Arthur's turn to flush. "Listen... It's not... I mean." He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "I've never spent this much concentrated time with anyone. I had to spend a whole day with my cousin and his two friends and by the end of two hours I wanted to kill them."

"Um. Is that supposed to be encouraging?"

"No—no! It's just... You've gotten on my nerves a couple of times—maybe more than a couple, but it's nothing that I couldn't handle. I didn't want to kill you, is what I'm trying to say. And you put up with me. I didn't... I like spending time with you. I like it. And I like you, Merlin. Geeze, you're making this so hard."

"I thought you... I dunno. Would maybe want to go back to your life. Not to sound like a clingy leech or something, but I didn't think you'd want to hang around. After. You know. Everything?"

"I don't understand what goes on in your head sometimes, Merlin. I've been telling you this whole trip how screwed up my family is, but you think because...what. Your family is gone that you're like, not fit for society or something? That's a little ridiculous, you have to admit."

"Okay. Fine. Fine, it's a little ridiculous. I just was kind of afraid, I guess, that this would be the end forever, and if I had to end it to save a little...whatever...then I would do it."

"Right. Well, this is entering into the dangerous territory of 'too much feelings,' so I suggest we go back to San Fran and find a hotel where we can shag for a good long while. Does that sound cool with you?"

Merlin looked around, shoved his hands into his pockets and then shrugged a shoulder. "We haven't done it in the driver's seat yet..."

Arthur grinned. "I like the way you think..."

Grinning back, Merlin shuffled over and bumped shoulders with him, heading back towards the car. "So... you gonna call your dad before I get arrested for kidnapping?"

"Nah."

"I hope you're not into prison. Because I can tell you, guys like me would not do well there, Arthur. In fact, I fully expect you to clear everything up and then bail me out."

Arthur laughed. "My sister knows I'm fine. Or..." He paused, chagrined. "Knew... until I lost my mo—phone. Cell phone."

"After sex in the car, showers at the hotel, you're calling her to tell her you're fine if you don't want to call your dad."

"Yes, Mom."

Merlin shuddered as he opened the door. "Don't. That's strange and twisted."

"Shit. Sorry..."

"Nah, nah..." Merlin leant back against the frame of the car, pulling his shirt up slowly, a smile spreading his lips as he watched Arthur's eyes follow it. "You just let me take care of you, yeah?"

Arthur bent forward, caging Merlin's body. "Oh yes... I expect it."