Emily woke the next morning to a light tapping on her door. Emily moaned quietly and rolled onto her side toward the door. She opened her eyes. "Yes?"
The door handle turned and the door opened slowly. Jess peeked her head in slowly. "Morning. I was just checking on you seeing as you weren't up yet."
"I appreciate that Jess." Emily said.
"Feeling poorly?" Jess asked.
"A bit." Emily answered.
Jess nodded. "Do you want me to stay?"
"No, Jess. Thy need you at the ARC. I'll be fine here." Emily explained.
"Okay. Well then I'll…I'll leave my cell phone with you in case you need to get a hold of me. There's plenty of food and medicine in the bathroom cupboard." Jess explained.
"Thank you Jess." Emily said.
Jess smiled. "I'll be back this evening." She slipped out of the room and closed the door behind her.
Emily lay in bed, listening to Jess' footsteps. She heard them echoing away from her door. She listened for the front door to close before she rose from her bed. Her feet touched down on the soft carpeted floor. Emily lifted her arms above her head, stretching for a moment. She wore a borrowed pair of night clothes. Her stomach lightly protruded from the bottom hem of the light green shirt.
Emily walked to her clothes and retrieved a pair of denim trousers and blouse. She slipped out of her matching shorts and into her trousers. She pulled off her shirt and slipped into her blue blouse. Emily straightened her blouse and moved back to the bed. She picked up her shoes and slipped them on her feet. Emily grabbed her diary from its hidden place and walked out of her room. She moved quickly into the living room and grabbed her bag. She slipped her diary into the bag and slung it over her shoulder. Emily moved toward the door and grabbed the handle. She looked behind her, taking a final look at the apartment. Guilt riled inside her, but she pushed it down. Emily opened the door and left the apartment. She moved fast through the halls and down the stairs. Her shoes barely echoed in comparison with her speed.
Emily burst from the building and kept moving. She was dead set on moving. She didn't care where, she didn't care how long it took her to get there, but she just had to move. For the past few weeks, she'd felt something constricting in her chest, suffocating her. With every passing day, the constriction grew tighter and tighter. Last night, the constriction had been too much for her.
When Becker entered the break room in the afternoon, the last thing he expected was opening the door and hitting Jess with it. Becker turned immediately, feeling the door shudder from the impact. Jess was still standing by the door where she'd been hit.
"Jess I am so sorry. I didn't know you were there." Becker said.
Jess said nothing. She didn't look hurt of even fazed by the impact. She stared off at the wall across the room.
"Jess?" Becker asked.
Jess turned her head, finally hearing Becker. "Hmm? Oh, Becker. Sorry, zoned out for a moment. Did you need something?"
"Jess I just hit you with the door." Becker said.
Jess frowned. She turned and looked at the door. "Really?"
Becker nodded. I'm fairly certain the door hit your head."
Jess reached her hand up to her head. "It doesn't feel sore. I'm pretty sure you're free of guilt, Becker."
"Jess is something wrong?" Becker asked.
"No. Of course not." Jess said. "I've just had so much on my plate lately."
Becker nodded slowly.
"Speaking of which, I should get back to work." Jess said. She opened the door, stepping out of path of it.
Becker turned as Jess was stepping out. "Jess, I haven't seen Emily around the facility today."
Jess turned. "Oh, yes, she said she wasn't feeling well today so she stayed at the flat."
Becker nodded slowly.
Jess smiled lightly. "Yeah. Well, I have to get back to work." She stepped out of the locker room and let the door close behind her.
Becker watch the door swing shut. He sighed deeply. Jess' reaction certainly wasn't what he'd expected it to be. And he was certain the door and slammed into her head, but she'd stood there as if it didn't happen. He shook his head and walked toward the sofa and sat down. He brought his hand up to his face and rubbed his eyes. His entire body was sore, as it had been for the past month. His chest had healed well enough, but too much stress so early after healing always caused some soreness that irritated him. Every chance he could spare was spent moving the transferred equipment into the facility. Needless to say, he was the only one who seemed to have to time to spend on the task.
Suddenly the door burst open again. Becker's head shot up from his hand. Jess was standing in front of the door, exhaling deeply. She looked less composed than she has seconds ago.
"I lied. I'm not fine." Jess said.
Becker frowned.
"Well, I am fine in a physical sense, just not emotionally." Jess rambled. "And that's the problem. But maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions which I tend to do on occasion."
Becker rose form the sofa. "Jess, you're rambling. Breath for a moment."
Jess nodded and inhaled deeply.
"Now, explain from the beginning. Slowly." Becker said.
"Okay, well, you remember how I said Emily wasn't feeling well?" Jess asked.
Becker nodded.
"Well I left my cell phone with her in case she needed to contact me while I was here. I've called several times since I got here and Emily hasn't answered once." Jess explained. "I thought perhaps she was asleep, but then I can't help but think I should be back at my flat because if she's that sick she shouldn't be alone. And I've asked Abby to call and she hasn't been able to get ahold of her either. And I know I'm usually calm and collected, but I…I have this feeling that something's wrong."
Becker thought for a moment, letting Jess' words sink in. They hadn't been on speaking terms since Emily's escape from the ARC several months ago. And after the accident, there was still some-tension if you well- between them. However, Becker pushed everything aside as he looked at Jess. She was always collected mentally and physically when it came to anything. The woman standing in front of him was neither calm nor collected.
Becker reached up and lightly grabbed Jess' arm. "Okay, head back to your flat and check up on Emily. If you're right, and Emily's worse than she let on, she's going to need someone there."
"Are you sure? There's still hundreds of-"
"We'll be fine here. Go check on Emily." Becker said.
Jess sighed with a smile. "Thank you."
Jess spun on her heels and ran from the room. Becker noticed the slight limp she still moved with. Guilt riled inside him. He shook his head and walked back to the sofa. He sighed heavily and buried his face into his hands. His chest throbbed stronger than it had moments ago. Just catching glimpses of Jess caused his chest to throb, and not in the romantic way. Knowing that she carried scars like his tore him up inside. Jess shouldn't have been in the field that day. That day still haunted his dreams.
Becker and Jess were against the truck while Abby worked with the radio. Becker used the truck to hold himself upright. His chest was burning in agony. Blood still ran between the spaces of his fingers, already staining his hand. Jess moved to his side and gently pried off his hand. Becker tried to ignore the pain that came from her soft touch. He gently pushed her hands from his chest.
Jess turned from Becker and raised the EMD. Suddenly she was ripped off her feet. Becker watched as the force threw Jess to the ground beside him. He heard her gasp as she hit the ground. The EMD was lost from her grasp and tumbled from her reach. Then by a great force, Jess was dragged screaming beneath the truck.
Becker dove for her, but he was too slow. He looked beneath the truck to see a large predator dragging Jess further and further away. Becker grabbed the EMD and ran around the truck. He fired several rounds, but he couldn't hit the creature. Jess' screams flooded his mind, begging him to help her.
The predator dragged Jess into the forest. Seconds later, Jess screams ceased.
Becker sighed again, looking up from his hands. Every night that damn dream played in his mind. The only good thing that came from waking from it was knowing that it hadn't ended that way. Jess had lived. She'd been injured, like everyone else that day, but she'd lived.
Becker shook his head and rose from the sofa. He shouldn't be thinking of this, especially while on the job. There as too much to do. If he thought too much on his dream, he'd get distracted, and distractions were the last thing people needed today. He walked to the door and walked out of the break room.
Becker walked through the large hallways of the facility. He wouldn't mention this to anyone, but he rather enjoyed the new-well, old actually- setting of the facility. Prospero's facility had seemed too…crowded. And Becker had much more space within this facility, space that the team could put to good use.
"Becker." Becker turned. Abby was jogging up behind him.
"Have you seen Jess?" Abby asked.
"Yes, she went back to her flat to check on Emily." Becker explained.
Abby nodded." Oh good. I haven't been able to get ahold of her either."
"Yeah, Jess told me." Becker said.
"You think everything's alright?" Abby asked.
"I'm sure Emily's fine. She's just been under a lot of stress lately. We all have." Becker explained.
Abby nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. It's just with Matt gone and Emily's pregnant-"
"Someone needs to watch after her." Becker finished.
"Yeah." Abby said.
"I'm sure Matt will appreciate what you and Jess are doing in his place." Becker said.
"Do you think he'll make it back?" Abby asked.
Becker smirked. "Abby, this is Matt we're talking about. He'll come back. Just like you and Connor."
Abby nodded slowly. "Right."
Suddenly Abby's phone rang. Abby reached into her pocket and pulled out her. "It's Jess." She brought the phone up to the ear. "Jess? Jess, Jess calm down."
"What is it?" Becker asked.
"Emily's not at the flat and her bag's gone" Abby explained.
"What?" Becker asked.
"Apparently one of the neighbors watched Emily leave ten minutes after Jess did this morning. They haven't seen her since." Abby continued.
"Put her on speaker." Becker said.
"Jess hold on a sec." Abby said. She lowered her phone and pressed the speaker button. "Okay Jess, Becker's standing with me."
"Guys I'm really worried. No one's seen Emily and she's been gone for the entire day." Jess said.
"Alright, calm down Jess. We'll find her." Becker said.
"How? She had no black box, no cell phone, she doesn't even drive. How are we supposed to find her?" Jess asked.
Becker looked to Abby. "I have an idea where we'll find her, Jess. Stay at your flat, I'll come pick you up."
"Okay." Jess said.
Abby hung up. "You think you can find her?"
"Maybe. Like I said, I have an idea of where we might be able to find her."
"And if she's not there?" Abby asked.
"Then we searched through the CCTV's until we find her." Becker said. "Even if it's an illegal use of government property."
"I hope you find her." Abby said.
Becker nodded. "So do I."
Jess sat in the passenger seat of the truck. She leaned against the door, watching the window anxiously. Her hand trembled nervously on the armrest of her seat. She hadn't said a word since she entered the car when Becker arrived. She'd climbed into the car faster than Becker had ever seen her move, healing ankle or no.
Becker turned off the main road, onto a dirt road.
Jess turned her head from the window. "Becker where are we going?"
"The only place I could think Emily might be." Becker said. He turned along the road, heading toward the forest line. They came out fast alongside a small house.
"The cottage." Jess said.
Becker stopped the car in front of the house and shut the engine. Jess undid her belt quickly and moved for the door. Becker reached out for her arm. "Jess wait."
"What?"
"Look, if Emily's here, she came here for a reason. We go in slow, understand?" Becker asked.
Jess nodded.
"Let's go." Becker said. He opened his door and climbed out.
Jess opened her door and followed Becker to the cottage. Becker grabbed the nob and turned. The door was unlocked and swung open. Becker entered first, with Jess close behind. The cottage was silent, empty. Jess and Becker slit up, searching through the entire cottage. Becker took the further half of the house with Jess took the front half.
"Becker." Jess called.
Becker moved quickly to the front section. Jess was standing in the kitchen of the house, looking out through the window.
"What is it?" Becker asked.
Jess motioned to window. "Emily."
Becker looked out the window. Several meters from the house was Emily. She was sitting on the ground, where the anomaly had closed months ago. She wasn't moving, at least not from where they were standing.
Becker moved from the window. "Jess wait here a moment."
Jess turned her head. "What?"
Becker glanced over his should as he walked out of the cottage. "Trust me."
The ARC vehicles were far from quiet. Emily had heard the sound of the tires on the dirt road he second they'd met. Theoretically, it was only a matter of time before they figured out he was missing and looked for her. Still, she wasn't ready to leave, not just yet.
"Coming back won't make it easier." Came Becker's voice from behind. "I've tried it before."
Emily lowered her head. "It was all I could think of."
Becker moved to her side and dropped onto the ground beside her, keeping a small bit of space between them. "Emily, over a year ago, I was the same position you are. And it almost happened again last month. A small team from the ARC went through an anomaly to try and save the human race. Abby, Connor, and Danny. We waited for them, but they never came back. So we organized four expeditions into the anomaly to look for them. Only four. During the last mission, our unit was ambushed by a pack of predators. We managed to get back through the anomaly to our time, but…we lost people.
"Doctor Sarah Paige was about your age. A historian in the British Museum. She was with me during the mission. While we were retreating back to the anomaly, a predator ambushed us. Sarah was injured. She…died before the medics could get to her." Becker finished.
Emily turned her head toward Becker.
"After that, Prosper stepped in and reestablished the entire ARC. They reinstated me as head of security. It was then I swore I wouldn't get close to anyone. There were too many chances that someone from the team, myself included, could die. I wasn't willing to let that happen to myself or anyone again." Becker continued. He turned to Emily. "However, I noticed that despite my attempts at distancing myself from the others, I was still forming bonds with them. I never noticed until it was too late."
"And last month?" Emily asked.
"I nearly lost the most important person in my life. I never knew how important she was until I nearly lost her." Becker explained. "One thing I learned from losing Sarah, was that it isn't holding on that makes you strong, sometimes its letting go. I don't mean letting go of that day, I mean letting go of everything."
Emily turned from Becker. She felt the tears threatening to fall. She swallowed back her tears. "Before all this happened, the last thing Matt said to me was 'I would never leave you'. And I foolishly believed him."
"You have a right to. And you should." Becker said. "Matt's not gone forever, Emily. He'll come back. Though, knowing Matt, he'll probably come back later than he should have."
Emily couldn't resist the laughter that snuck up on her.
Becker smiled. "Jess and I will be waiting when you're ready to leave."
"Jess is here?" Emily asked.
Becker nodded. "She's been looking for you since she got back to her flat this afternoon. I fairly certain she had a panic attack."
Emily lowered her head. "I wasn't thinking."
"You were, just not about us." Becker said. "We're all here for you Emily. Let us help."
Emily nodded.
Becker rose from the ground.
"Captain." Emily called, looking over her shoulder.
Becker turned back toward her.
"Thank you." Emily said.
Becker nodded. "Anytime."
"And you should talk to Jess. About the incident." Emily said.
London England
August twenty-ninth two thousand and eleven
I have been foolish beyond recognition. I believed that I was the only one who suffered from the incident. I have become so preoccupied in Matt's disappearance and burying myself in work, I've failed to see how it had affected the others. I failed to see Jess' limp or the Captain's scare. I failed to see everything that I should have focused on. And because of my actions, I jeopardized too much. Though, something good did come from today. I can finally let go.
The moment Jess and I returned to the flat, I was finally able to cry for the first time in a month. Even as I write, tears still fall. But I can manage this now. I know I'm not alone, just as I know Matt will return one day. If Captain Becker had not searched for me, I would have written that believing Matt would return is foolish. I would have given up and gone through the next gateway. I promised Matt that I would stay for the baby's sake. I do not intend to break my promise.
yay for emotional breakdowns and nightmares.