Chapter 4:
"Spike?" Dawn asked after several minutes of quietness. They had been sitting for nearly three hours already in the monastery, waiting for the sun to go down before they headed back home.
"Yeah, luv?" Spike looked over at her and asked.
"I'm scared." she admitted quietly.
Spike looked around, "Nothin' to be scared of, here, Bit. Got the Big Bad with you to protect you." he said trying to lighten her mood.
Dawn gave a short laugh, "No, I mean about what's gonna happen...with The First. It feels different this time. And I'm scared." she whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek.
Spike immediately pulled her close to comfort her, "You're right. It does feel different this time and I don't know what's gonna happen, but you don't need to be scared. I won't let anything happen to you, luv. I'll protect you." he assured her as he stroked her hair.
Dawn looked up at him with watery eyes, "Til' the end of the world?" she asked.
Spike smiled and gazed into her eyes, "Til' the end of the world." he promised, wiping the tears from her face.
At that moment, Dawn suddenly found the courage she always longed for, and reached her face up to his and pressed her lips against his.
Spike was taken a bit by surprise and didn't respond at first. She fully expected him to pull away after a few seconds, but to her surprise, instead of pulling away, he took the initiative to deepen the kiss. His tongue grazing along her lips asking permission to enter.
Dawn parted her lips to let him in and as soon as he was, she felt like her heart was going burst out of her chest, from the rapid pace it was beating at. Oh my God...I can't believe he is actually kissing me back.
Spike pulled her onto his lap to where she was straddling him as he continued to kiss her.
Spike had known that he had been slowly falling for this girl...woman, since he had come back to Sunnydale, two months ago, but now, he knew that he was long past that point, he was totally and completely in love with her. Bloody wonderful. What is it with me and Summers' women? He asked himself, but he knew that this was different, wasn't like before. He never wanted to hurt this one, like he did the other one. Even without the soul, he would never have done anything to cause her any sort of pain...intentionally.
Spike had moved his hands, one resting on the small of her back, while the other was tangled in her long, brown hair. Dawn was feeling his erection straining against the denim of his jeans and lightly pushing onto her own denim covered heat, and moaned softly. He moved his mouth to the column of her throat, licking and sucking gently as he put a hand on her hip and pressed her down onto him, rocking her back and forth. Meanwhile, his other hand traveled underneath her shirt to caress her stomach, slowly making its way upward to her breasts.
"Stop." Dawn breathed out heavily. Spike moved his mouth back up to hers and continued kissing her, but stilled his roaming hand and placed it back on her waist. Dawn pulled away slightly and pressed her hands against his chest, "Spike, stop." she said again, even as she was still grinding into him.
Spike looked at her, his eyes full of lust and just a hint of fear, "What's wrong, luv?" he questioned, praying that she wasn't going to shut down and tell him that this kiss meant nothing to her and it was just a mistake.
Dawn stopped moving. She looked up and let out a slightly frustrated sigh, "What are we doing?" she asked.
Spike cocked his head, "Well, I thought it was pretty obvious. I, for one, was enjoying making out with a gorgeous lil' brunette." he smirked going in for another kiss.
Dawn stopped him and shook her head, "I'm serious. What is this?" she asked again, meeting his eyes.
"What do you want it to be, pet?" he asked, as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
Dawn studied his face, trying to figure out what he was thinking, "I don't know." she lied. She knew full well what she wanted. She wanted him, wanted to be with him, love him, and to be loved by him. But she was to too afraid of being rejected to tell him. She was scared that if he knew exactly how she felt, then he would distance himself from her again, and she couldn't take that. She had only just gotten him back, and it was better to have at least part of him than none at all. Dawn shook her head as if to erase what she had asked, "Forget it. It doesn't matter right now." she said.
Spike sighed, he was hoping for her to say more than that. Maybe tell him she wanted more with him, that the kiss had meant something to her. He was lost in his thoughts when Dawn leant in and continued where they had left off. At that point, Spike threw all of his thoughts out the window and decided to just let it be and live in the moment...for now.