Chapter 11:
As soon as Buffy had said those words, Dawn felt like she had been psychically slapped. No, not slapped...she felt like she had been punched, kicked, stabbed, and stepped on. Buffy had never before said something so hurtful, on purpose. She had always felt like she didn't matter, because she wasn't really real, and now, she felt even more like that than she had the night she found out she was just a key with fake memories. Dawn couldn't move, all she could do was stare at the closed basement door, as tears clouded her eyes until she could barely see.
Spike always knew the slayer could be a cold hearted bitch...to him, but he couldn't believe that she could be that cold and cruel to her own sister. He knew how Dawn had always felt about having fake memories and not feeling real, and for her to throw that in her face like that, was just plain wrong. Spike could easily see how hurt Dawn was from her sisters words, and he moved to stand next to her and wrapped his arms around her, "She didn't mean it, Dawn." he whispered, then kissed the top of her head. He was sure that when Buffy had calmed down, she would feel horrible about what she said, and beg Dawn to forgive her.
Dawn shook her head, "Yes, she did." Dawn gathered her clothes and got dressed. "I think I should go, Spike. Take a walk or something." Spike nodded his head in understanding. "I'll come back later...if that's alright?" she questioned.
Of course I wanted her to come back...hell, I didn't want her to leave, especially when she was this upset, but I knew that it would probably be for the best. She needed time to clear her head and think about what she wanted to do. I didn't want to cause a rift between her and her sister, but I knew that it was already made. And selfishly, I could only hope that she would still choose to be with me, even if it meant not having her sister iin her life anymore. But, if she chose her sister over me, I would understand. And I would accept it, and I would leave after this battle was over. But not before. I promised to protect her and keep her safe, and I always keep my promises...or try my best to.
I nodded my head, "Of course, luv. Come back when you're ready." As Dawn made her way up the stairs, I called out to her, "I love you, pet." Dawn stopped in her tracks and turned to me and gave me a watery smile, "I love you, too. I'll be back."
~*~*~
I found Buffy sitting in the shaded spot on the porch, talking quietly to Willow. Red was the first to acknowledge my presence and subtly alerted Buffy. "Well, I'm gonna go check on Kennedy, see how she is doing with the girls." Buffy quickly wiped away the few tears that had leaked from her eyes as she looked at me.
"How's Dawn?"
I raised an eyebrow at her, "How do you think she's doin', Slayer? Her own sis practacally disowned her, and brought back all of her insecurities with just a few words."
More tears fell, "Spike, I didn't mean what I said to her, I was just angry and hurt. I didn't mean it...God, I swear I didn't mean it, and I wish I could take it back."
Least she shows remorse, "Well, she thinks you did mean it. You used the one thing that could hurt her more than anything against her. She had finally made peace with the fact that she was incorperated into everyone's memory, finally believed that she was real and that you loved her, that she was your sister, no matter what, and you took that away, with just a few small words." I know I was being harsh on her, but what she did to Dawn was even worse.
"I'm so sorry. For everything, everything I said, the way I acted." she sobbed, "I'm sorry for what I did to you too, Spike. I know I haven't showed it, but I really am. If you can't forgive me, I understand, and I don't blame you. I don't deserve it. I know I had hurt you, and now I have hurt her, too."
I sighed, "Don't worry about me, Slayer, I'm fine. Just worry about Dawn. She went to take a walk, find her and fix it. I love her, Buffy, and I don't want her hurting."
Buffy looked at me and gave a slight smile. There was a light in her eyes, that I hadn't seen in a long time, "You really do, don't you?" she said it more to herself than to me. "She hasn't been happy in a long time, Spike. And I think you can fix that for her, and I won't stand in either of your way." she looked down and sighed, "I had my chance, and I missed it, but now it is her chance to finally be happy. Just promise me one thing, promise me that you will take good care of her and never hurt her."
At this moment, she had earned more of my respect than I thought possible. For once, we both wanted the same thing. "Til' the end of the world." I promised again.
~*~*~
Buffy had went into the house to change out of her sweaty training clothes before she went out to look for her sister. She knew she had to apologize to her, and to do everything in her power to make her believe that she honestly did not mean what she had said. She would not give up until she had fixed everything that she had screwed up, and not just for what she had said earlier. Buffy knew that she had no right to feel betrayed, after all, Dawn was right. Buffy had betrayed her sister first. She had known how Dawn felt about Spike all along, and even if she believed that it had just been some silly crush that she was bound to get over eventually, it was still wrong. Buffy had never loved Spike, really, she had never even liked him. But Dawn did. He had always been there for her, he had taken care of her while she was lying in her grave, and even before that. She had always loved him, wether it was as a friend or something more, and Buffy had no right to take that away from her. If she had just taken the time and paid attention, instead of being wrapped up in her own problems, she would have seen that.
As Buffy finished changing and reached the front door, a large hand quickly covered her mouth and nose, and she slowly slipped into darkness.