Chapter 17:

Spike glanced at the clock on the bedside table again, for what felt like the hundredth time. It had been nearly forty-five minutes since Dawn had gone into the bathroom to take her shower, and Spike could hear her crying quietly through the door. Deciding to go check on her to make sure she was alright, Spike grabbed a pair of cotton underwear and a long t-shirt from the overnight bag Buffy had packed, and gently tapped on the door.

"Dawn? Luv, can I come in?" Spike asked and waited for her answer. After several seconds of not receiving an answer, Spike turned the doorknob and walked over to the shower and slowly pulled open the curtain.

Dawn was sitting on the floor of the shower with her legs pulled to her chest, and her chin resting on top of her knees, as the water poured over her body. Spike noticed that she was shaking, and at first thought it was from her crying. When he reached in to turn the water off, he realized that it was ice cold, and that Dawn was freezing.

"Christ, kitten, you're freezing." He hurriedly wrapped a towel around her body and lifted her out of the shower, and sat her down on the toilet seat and carefully dried most of her body.

Looking her over once more, he saw that there wasn't much that needed to be bandaged. The shower had washed away the blood on her head, leaving a small cut that was almost closed already, and aside from her busted lip, the injuries on her body were mostly deep bruises, that were already becoming dark.

Spike bit the inside of his cheek to keep from growling as he spotted the bruises in the shape of hand prints on the inside of her thighs, Should have made the bastard's death last a lot longer than I did.

He focused his attention back to her face and lightly brushed his fingers along the other bruise on her cheek. Dawn caught his hand with her own and leant into him, "Thank you." she whispered, tears spilling down her face and onto Spike's hand.

Cocking his head to the side and offering a small ghost of a smile, he asked just as quietly, "For what?"

Dawn took a deep breath and exhaled before answering, "For everything. Being here...taking care of me." Dawn looked up to meet his eyes, "For saving me."

The corner of Spike mouth twisted up into a grimace of self-disgust and he shook his head, "No, don't. Don't thank me for that. I didn't save you, it was because of me that he hurt you at all. And I didn't get there in time to stop him...and I'm sorry, Dawn. I'm so sorry...I should have...done something before...I should have know he would try to hurt you...'s my fault. "

"No." Dawn gathered both of his hands in hers and squeezed and hard as she could, "Earlier you told me that what happened wasn't my fault, well, it wasn't yours either." She reached out and wiped the few tears that were falling freely, away from his face. The only time Dawn had ever seen Spike cry was when Buffy had died, and now he was crying over her...because of what happened to her. She couldn't believe he thought it was his fault. "You did save me, Spike. If you hadn't of come...he was going to kill me! You stopped him...so, thank you."

Not wanting to argue with her or upset her further, he simply nodded his head in agreement. He knew he didn't deserve her thanks or gratitude, he still believed that he was responsible in some way for everything that had happened to Dawn that night, and her saying different, wasn't going to convince him otherwise. He hated himself for not killing the son of a bitch when he had the chance.

X X X X X X X

Nearly two hours later, Dawn was curled up to Spike's side asleep, thanks to the pain killers Buffy had thought to throw in with the medical supplies. Spike kissed the dried tear tracks on Dawn's cheek before carefully maneuvering his way out of the bed without waking her, before grabbing his duster and silently making his way out of the room. Once he was safely outside the motel, he leant his back against the brick wall and reached into his pocket, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

As hard as he tried, he still couldn't shake the image of the way he had found Dawn, with Wood standing over her, pulling up his pants, from his mind. Feeling his eyes start to water, and the rage returning to the surface, he instantly vamped out and shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memory. Hearing a door open, he turned his head to the side and saw Angel coming out of the next room over.

Angel greeted Spike and came to stand next to him, "Mind if I have one of those?" he wonder, gesturing to the cigarette.

Spike arched an eyebrow and looked at him questioningly, "Usually it Angelus who does the smoking, since when do you?"

Angel took the cigarette from the pack Spike help out, and lit it, "Since tonight. Buffy's a mess over what happened tonight. She finally fell asleep. How's Dawn doing?"

Spike took a long drag before answering, "She was just raped tonight. You've caused this kind of damage enough in the past, how the bloody hell do you think she's doing?"

Angel's face twisted in pain as he remembered his countless victims, "That was Angelus, not me."

"Right." Spike laughed bitterly, "You forget you're talking to someone who's both had a soul and been without. It's still you, no matter which way you try an' spin it...you'd just like to believe differently." Spike looked Angel in the eye, "The wouldn't feel the guilt so heavily if it wasn't really you."

Knowing it was the truth, Angel looked to the ground and decided now would be a great time to change the subject, "Speaking of...Buffy told me that your soul was taken away from you."

"Yeah." Spike swallowed hard, he couldn't believe he had been happy about losing his soul. Now knowing how it had happened, he could never think of it as a good thing. Not when it was the same monster who had hurt his Dawn. "What of it?"

After taking a long, hard look at Spike, Angel spoke, "Earlier you told me that you never wanted the soul, that you wanted the chip out so that you could come back and kill Buffy..."

"Not just her. Her friends too. Coulda killed her even with the chip." Spike interrupted.

Angel let out a growl, "Right. Well now the chip's out and your soul is gone. And I won't let hurt her...or any of them."

Spike rested his head against the wall and closing his eyes, he let out a deep sigh. "Don't care 'bout that anymore. I'm not planning on hurtin' the Scoobies...just plannin' on makin' sure Dawn gets through this."

"You still love her?" Angel asked after a moment of brief consideration.

"More than anything."

I know it's been a long time, but please review & let me know you are still interested. Thanks.