Chapter 8
Remus' point of view
Remus felt exactly like the last time he had went out of Dumbledore's office, two weeks ago. He was confused, frustrated and he had no idea of what he was going to do. The most annoying thing was that there was noting he could do. But how can he sit and relax while James was going to turn into a monster instead of him?
James, who walked beside him when they made their way to the Great Hall, seemed to be thinking about the same things. He seemed stressed, and the amount of times he'd ran his hand through his hair was higher than usual. Only this time the tawny hair came into place and didn't mess up like James' real hair had.
"Prongs." James turned to look at him and put his hand back in its place next to his body. "I'm sorry."
"Why?"
Remus sighed and lowered his gaze. "Because you'll have to go through all of this because of me."
"What are you talking about?" said James, laughing a laugh that sounded a little fake. "It's not your fault. Besides, I think it will be cool to finally understand what you're going through every month."
Remus stared at him. "Trust me; the last thing it's going to be is cool."
James shrugged and then smiled at his friend. "At least this time you won't have to suffer."
"Yes, but you will. And more than I have to suffer usually, since I have three animals to help me."
"Why would this month be any different?"
Remus sent him a confused glare, "I don't know how to turn into a stag."
At that moment they'd arrived to the Great Hall, where they found Sirius and Peter waiting for them. Sirius seemed pretty upset about the interruption on his date.
"Hey, Moony, Prongs," he greeted them when they sat down next to their friends. "So, what did Dumbledore want to talk to you about?"
"Nothing important," replied James, "he wants Moo- er, me to help Prongs with Potions, because apparently he's failing this subject."
Sirius turned his gaze to Remus and smirked, "You fail in Potions?"
Remus shrugged, "Yeah, I guess I'm just stupid," he jumped in his seat when he felt James' foot kicking him under the table.
Later that day, while Peter and Sirius got ready for bed, James pulled Remus towards the door. "We'll be right back," he said in reply to the questioning look Sirius had shot him. Remus just smiled his apologize and followed James to the common room, which was empty in that late hour.
The two sat in one of the corners, hidden to the eyes of anyone who might decide to get down to the common room in the middle of the night.
"Prongs, what happened?" asked Remus in concern. He didn't know why James'd wanted to talk to him, but guessed it had something to do with their conversation after their talk with Dumbledore. They hadn't an opportunity to talk earlier that day.
"I've been thinking," started James with a serious expression, "and I think we should all be at the shack this month."
Remus raised an eyebrow at him, "I already told you, I don't know how to transform to a stag."
James just grinned, "So I'll teach you."
"You can't be serious." Said Remus but James nodded.
"I am."
"James, in case you don't remember, it took you three years until you finally succeeded to turn into animals! And do you expect me to do it in a week? I may be smart, but not that smart!"
"I know, moony, but think about it-"
"Think about what?"
"As I'm going to transform to a wolf next week, because I'm in your body, so you must be able to turn into the stag, because you're in my body!"
Remus stared at him. "James, being a werewolf is a curse. You can't change it and you can't control it. You turn into a wolf once a month whether you like it or not. It's nothing like being an animagus."
James shook his head, "I know it's not the same. That's not what I meant. But think about it, Moony. My body, which you're in right now, is already used to the transformations. It will be so much easier for you to learn how to do that than we had three years ago. I'm sure you can do it."
Remus took James' advice and thought about it for a while. What James had said made sense, but the power to become an animal was in the wizard himself, and not in his body. Or was it the same thing? Could he learn to do it in such a short time? And even if he could, did he even want to spend the night of the full moon in the shrinking shack, when he finally has an opportunity to spend it as a human?
He knew the answer to the last question; yes. Yes, he wanted to spend that night in the shack with James even if it meant he would have to deal with his fear from the wolf. James had done it for him for so many months, and now he had the chance to return the favor.
"Alright," he said, "I'll try. But you'll have to help me, because I won't be able to do it alone."
During the past week before the full moon Remus and James practiced in the room of requirements. The magic was already in James' body even when Remus was the one who was presented in it.
Every time Remus tried to fulfill James' orders he felt waves of energy running through his body. He didn't know what to do with them, but tried with all the power he had to change.
"Try, Moony! I know you can! Focus!"
"I'm trying!" called Remus, frustrated. He closed his eyes and tried to block any noise that could distract him. During a few more moments he tried to relax and to think of nothing and then, when he felt ready he started to imagine the stag in his head. He imagined the weight of the antlers on his head, and his two hands turning into the two front legs of the animal.
Suddenly the weight became real and he could feel his body changing and stretching. Compared to his monthly transformation to the wolf, this changing didn't hurt at all. He only felt a tingle of magic washing him and after a few moments he felt himself standing on four legs. He had a tiny tail behind him which he could move freely.
"Remus!" he heard James' voice full with excitement. "You did it!" Remus opened his eyes and looked around him. His point of view was higher than usual and when he looked at James he revealed his teeth in an attempt to form a smile.
James chuckled at him. "Yeah, I know." H e said and ran his hand in Remus' furry head. "It's hard to express feeling while in an animal's body."
Remus tried to move his legs and was surprised to find out that it wasn't as hard as he thought. He walked in the room on the stag's long legs and made a few spins around James in order to get used to the feeling.
"Do you think you could face the wolf in this form?" asked James and Remus moved his head up and down, feeling the antlers moving with him. "Good. In order to turn back you need to go over the same thing in your head, and focus. Imagine your body getting back to its human form."
Remus did as he was told and felt his body changing again. He stood up on his two legs and fixed his clothes that returned to their place out of nowhere. He'd always wondered how the clothed returned to their original state after the animagus was changing. When he turned to a wolf, if he'd worn clothed during the change, the next morning he would have find them ripped on the floor.
"I can't believe I did it," he said to James who sent him a huge smile.
"I told you you will."
Remus nodded. "Now all we need to do is to wait for the full moon tomorrow. We're going to be fine."
James smiled at him, "yeah, we'll be fine."
He stood in a small room with wooden walls. In one of them was a tiny square window, where the only light in the room came from; the full moon. Only a few furnitures stood in the room, all of them broken, crushed and full with scratches. The wooden door that was the opposite way from the window was locked. The walls were covered in layers of blood which had been sprayed at them over the last six years.
In the further corner from him were two animals, one big black and threatening and the other one tiny and scared. There was still an echo of a scream in the air from a few minutes before. In the near corner from him, next to the cracking bed stood a monstery figure with sharp teeth and narrowed golden eyes.
The figure turned to look at him, and that was the first time Remus had ever seen his wolf-self that not from those threatening eyes.
An utter horror paralyzed him and he couldn't move a muscle. Within a second he returned to be that little and innocent kid who'd sneaked out after curfew into the forest and met the horrible monster that'd ruined his life.
The werewolf came closed, although its eyes seemed to glitter in joy. Remus tired to get away on his four legs, but was terrified to find out that he had only two legs now, and he couldn't feel the weight of the antlers on his head.
Within a second the glitter in the yellow eyes changed, and now they showed hunger and lust. The monster exposed its teeth attacked Remus who still didn't catch what was going on. He felt stings of nails in his arms where the werewolf grasped him, and he desperately tried to get away, but it was already too late. A severe pain sliced his body when the werewolf' teeth imbedded in his shoulder and he started to feel dazed.
"No!" a distant human scream sounded from the other side of the room, but Remus couldn't recognize the voice. He stared at the bleeding figure on the floor, then looked at his nails which were stained with blood. Nothing seemed important anymore when he felt the sweet taste of human blood on his tongue. He licked his lips and turned to the dark hair that lay next to his feet.
Something snapped in Remus when he remembered he'd promised himself to never bite any of his friends, or anyone at all. He started to shake, but he wasn't sure anymore if he was the twitching boy on the cold floor, his throat hurts from yelling and his shoulder burning in an indescribable pain, or if he was the monster that shook from excitement and enjoyed the pleasure of the satisfying taste in its mouth.
For a second he turned his head and saw momentarily two young men that stood paralyzed to the spot and a disgusted look on their faces, before the teeth closed on the prey again.
Slowly Remus started to feel his body getting colder as opposed to the hot blood that streamed from his mouth. He was about to bite a third time when a strong yell distracted him.
"Prongs! Prongs, wake up!"