AN:

First of all, thanks for all the reviews (: it paid off cause I translated this chapter really fast.

For those of you who didn't understand; Remus isn't sure that when he'll get back to his body he'll get better. He doesn't know if what Pomfrey said is true... so he thinks he may die instead of James.

This Chapter is a bit confusing again, cause it's from Sirius POV again, so pay attention when Sirius say James it's actually Remus and when he say Remus it's James. There are two flashbacks scenes from the first chapters, but it's a bit different so don't skip it.

There's only one more chapter left, and then I'll need to have a thought with myself about whether to keep writing the sequel or not.

Enjoy(:

Capter 12

Sirius' point of view

Sirius sat under the Marauder's favorite tree in the school grounds, hugging his knees and leaning his head on them. All he could think about was Remus. He lay in the Hospital Wing, unconscious, for a week. It had been the longest and most horrible week of Sirius' life, even more than the time Remus had been mad at him after he'd sent Snape down the whomping willow.

Sirius had been missing Remus every second in the past week since the full moon, and couldn't stop thinking about how he could've prevented it. He was sure the reason for Remus' bad state was because he had to spend the night on his own, without his three animagus friends. If only they had joined him, nothing would've happened. But James insisted he couldn't come… Sirius should've argued more, maybe even force him to come against his will. But he hadn't, and now Remus was in that state.

What was he going to do if Remus wouldn't wake up? He couldn't live without him. And what would he do if Remus would wake up but wouldn't want to be Sirius' friend anymore after he'd left him alone on the shack? Maybe he'll remember all the things Sirius had told him the last time they talked, and wouldn't want to talk to Sirius ever again? But what if he won't wake up, and the last thing Sirius had ever said to him was that he wants to break up with him?

His last conversation with Remus echoed in his head and the only thing he could think about was the look Remus had sent him before Sirius had hugged him and walked away. He had looked guilty, but why? Why would Remus feel guilty after Sirius had broken up with him? If he'd been relieved, or sad, or confused, then Sirius would have understood. But the guilt in his eyes made Sirius wonder just what had been really going on the last past month…

~Flashback~

"Hey, Moons, whatcha doin'?" Sirius sat beside Remus in the common room, closer than he would sit next to James or Peter.

Remus raised his head from the book on his knees and smiled at him. "Reading."

"What are you reading?" Sirius leaned forward to examine the book, but took the chance to get even closer to his friend. With a bit of hesitation he put his arm over Remus' shoulder in a friendly gesture, and felt Remus leaning in to him. It felt good.

"About the spell, switch," Remus replied and returned to look at the book. "Professor Flitwick said we're going to learn about it tomorrow, so I'm trying to be prepared."

Sirius chuckled, "Why do you need to be prepared? You know you'll do it better than all of us anyway."

Remus shrugged, making Sirius' arm move alongside his shoulders. They both laughed.

On the next morning at their Spells lesson, Remus succeeded to cast the spell, just like Sirius had predicted.

"Moony, can you explain it to me again? I don't think I understand the right way to hold the wand," Begged James for the fifth time that lesson.

Remus sighed, lifted his wand and pointed it exactly between his book and quill pen. "It's not that hard," he said. "You just point your wand between the objects, lift it up, then lower it down and say the spell, 'switch'. There, watch," he lifted his wand, then lowered it down and yelled, "Switch!" The book and quill were gone for a second until they showed up, each in the other's place.

James stared at them with wide eyes. "Wow," was all he managed to say.

Peter, who sat beside Sirius on the desk behind them tried to cast the spell as well. "Switch!" he called, but the objects remained in their place. "Why can't I do it?" Sirius heard him murmuring in despair.

But Sirius' attention was placed only at the boy who sat in front of him. His hair was so smooth, that it gave Sirius the need to run his fingers in it and to know how it feels. When he saw Peter looking at him, waiting for some sort of reply, he just mumbled, "I dunno, try again," and kept staring at Remus.

"Switch!" called the fat boy again, but nothing happened. "I hate spells lessons."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed with him, "who doesn't?"

"I don't," said Remus from the desk in front of them, and sent them an arrogant smile. Merlin, how Sirius loved that smile. "Maybe if you'd have practiced some more you could have done it."

Sirius stuck out his tongue, remembering their conversation last night.

"But I tried ten times!" Peter insisted, "And it's not working!" he waved his wand while shouting again and again, "Switch! Switch! Switch!" At that moment his wand was landed forward, then lifted upward, pointing exactly between James and Remus.

At that moment happened something that scared Sirius. A soft 'poof' sound was heard, as if a magic had just been casted, and for a second the whole world froze. And then everything happened so fast, that Sirius couldn't catch on what was happening.

James fell from his chair to the floor and seemed completely unconscious. Next to him, Remus' head dropped on the table, his eyes closed and a surprised expression on his face.

Sirius got up from his seat, hurrying to help his two friends. "Remus, James!" he called, feeling the whole students' eyes on him. "Are you alright?"

He tried to shake them but they didn't respond.

"Professor!" he called, looking up to see Professor Flitwick hurrying towards him. "Do something, they both fainted!"

~End of Flashback~

Sirius wasn't sure why he remembered that day, but as soon as he remembered he started to notice a few things. It had been the last time he remembered Remus acting like himself. After that lesson, when James and Remus had gotten back from the infirmary, strange things started to happen.

~Flashback~

Sirius sat next to Peter in the common room, tapping nervously with his foot. He didn't like the fact that Remus didn't wake up yet. It'd been more than an hour, what took him so long?

"I hope they'll be okay," said Peter quietly, sounding worried. "It's all my fault, if I just did better with that spell…"

"Don't worry," said Sirius and smiled, "I'm sure they're fine." At that moment the Fat Lady portrait moved and through the hole behind it entered Remus and James. Sirius felt relief washing over him. "Hey, Remus, James, over here!" he called them, and when they noticed Peter and him they started to walk towards them.

"Hey, Padfoot, what's up?" said James. Sirius stared at him, since when did James say 'what's up'?

"Err, alright," he replied, confused, and turned to look at Remus. He looked paler than usual, but instead of his usually calming expression, he seemed tense. "Hey, Moony," Sirius said, hoping to calm his friend. He knew he could always calm him down, and that thought alone made him shook with joy. "How are you?"

But Remus didn't answer, just kept looking nervous. Sirius noticed James shoving his elbow in Remus' side, and Remus jumped in surprise. "Damn! Why the hell was that necessary?"

Sirius' eyes winded up in surprise. It didn't suit Remus to talk like that.

"He asked you a question," he heard James whispering, and Remus forced a smile.

"Oh, right," he said and looked back at Sirius. "I'm okay."

~End of Flashback~

Sirius sighed and turned to look at the lake. Something was off with the whole thing, but he couldn't understand what. He felt like everything was spread in front of him on a plate of silver, but somehow his hands couldn't grasp it and it all fell and crashed on the floor.

What made Remus and James act so weird? Something about them was different, like they weren't themselves anymore. They weren't acting like themselves, they acted like…

"Sirius!"

A yell from the distance made him jump and he lost his string of thought. He turned around to see who'd called him and saw James running towards him. Sirius sighed, he really didn't want to talk right now, especially not with James.

"Sirius, I-" James arrived to him and fell on the ground beside him, breathing heavily. "I need to talk to you."

"Good for you," said Sirius, turning his back to him. "But I don't want to talk with anyone right now."

"Sirius, please!" James begged, "It's important!"

"I don't care."

"Sirius," James' voice softened. A few moments passed in silence, and suddenly Sirius felt a shaking hand on his shoulder. "You didn't speak to me for a week. You didn't speak to anyone for a week. I think-"

But Sirius didn't let him finish. He shook James' hand off of his shoulder and turned to face him, angry expression on his face. "I don't care what you think! Don't you get it? I don't want to talk to you! Damn, James, this is all your fault!"

James looked at him for a moment, his eyes shining with guilt, but then he looked away. "I know… I know it's my fault, and I'm sorry. But I need to talk to you. If you don't want to talk, fine, but at least listen to what I have to say."

Sirius was quiet for a while, considering if it was worth it to listen to James or not. At the end he decided it couldn't harm in any way.

"Talk."

"I- I think you've been acting stupid, Sirius."

"I already told you I don't care what you think."

"Sirius," James said again, his voice tougher this time, "you didn't eat, didn't sleep and didn't talk to anyone for a week! Until when are you're planning to go like that?"

Sirius glared at him, "until Moony wakes up."

James sighed and looked away again. "And what if… what if he'll never wake up?"

Sirius felt himself filling with rage he couldn't control. He wanted to hit James until he'll take what he'd said back, but stopped himself. "Don't ever say that again."

James flinched, afraid of Sirius threatening tone. "Remus… Remus wouldn't want you to act like that."

"Remus would also want to be awake right now, but does it help him? No!" Sirius almost screamed. All the anger he'd been holding inside this whole week threatened to break free. He didn't really care he had to take it out on James, though.

James flinched even more. "Sirius, please…" he said weakly. "I'm sure he wouldn't want you to act like that because of him, he- he would've wanted you to move on with your life and not to let it r-ruin you. D-don't you care about that? Think about how he would have felt if he knew you barely ate this week."

Sirius sighed. No matter how much he hated to admit it, James was right. Remus really wouldn't want Sirius to act like that. He would blame himself and torture himself over thinking Sirius' suffering. But what could he do- smile and enjoy life while Remus lying unconscious in bed?

"I know it's hard, Sirius," James continued, "t-trust me. B-but you can't let it affect you like that."

Sirius sighed again and said nothing.

They sat in silence for a while, Sirius looking at his legs and James peeking at his hand-watch every few minutes. At the end it was James who broke the silence.

"Why did you break up with him?"

Sirius raised his gaze in surprise. How did James know about their break up? Sirius hadn't told him, and he doubted Remus had time before the full moon.

"How do you know about that?"

"Peter told me, he heard you guys talking in the common room."

"Oh," said Sirius. He really didn't want to talk about it. "He changed, haven't you notice? He wasn't acting like himself. And every time I talked to him just felt wrong… I thought it was because of me, that he stressed out, or that maybe it was all too fast for him. I preferred to be friends, as long as he'll get back to himself. But now…now it doesn't matter, is it? I just want him to be alright again."

"I understand," James said, and Sirius thought he heard relief in his voice. "You know, I'm sure Remus loves you a lot."

"I sure hope so," a little smile spread on his face, but erased immediately when he remembered Remus' pale and scarred face.

"He told me he does," James continued, "before the night of the full moon. He told me he loves you more than anything in this world."

"Really?"

"Yes. And he would do anything to… to be here with you, just one more time."

Sirius didn't know if Remus had really said all these things, or if James just said it to make him feel better, but either way, it worked. Remus loved him, and it was all he needed.

"Sirius?" said James, waking him from his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for this whole month. I know I've been acting kinda strange, and that I did some things I may not have done in another situation. But I want you to know that everything I've ever told you were real."

"It's alright, Prongs," said Sirius, smiling for the first time in a week. "I'm sorry too, for being such a jerk this week. Especially for yelling at you," he smiled in embarrassment, "and for what I said and did the day after the full moon. I know it's not only your fault, it's mine as-"

"No." James cut him. "It's not your fault. Not you're fault at all. The last person you can blame here is you. Don't forget that, Sirius, please. This isn't your fault."

"Anyway," said Sirius, "Can you forgive me?"

"Of course." They smiled at each other, and Sirius couldn't understand how he could even be mad at James. He was his best friend, Remus' as well. James probably had a rough week himself, and all Sirius did was yelling at him and blaming him all the time.

"If I asked you something, would you do it?"

"Sure, Prongs, you're my best friend. You know I'll do anything for you."

James smiled. "I need you to promise me you'll do it, no matter what I ask. It's probably going to be the last thing I'm ever going to ask of you."

Sirius raised his eyebrow at that, "Don't be so dramatic, James."

"I'm not kidding, Padfoot," said James, his face turning serious. "Do you promise?"

"Promise." said Sirius, and for a few moments none of them spoke.

"Kiss me."