At some point that night, I'm given a great gift. I'm told to clean up her room, and be sure not to wake the Tribute.
The main thing that an Avox has to master is the art of moving silently. When the Tributes wake in the morning, the Gamemakers want the rooms spotless. It's all part of how they try to impress the Tributes with Capitol luxury. Not that they'd admit what they're doing, of course. But I've been watching them for years and years...up close. I saw everything not that anyone cared. I'm only an Avox, after all.
I entered her room silently and did my work, picking up and changing towels, collecting laundry. There wasn't much to clean up, she was quite neat. When I'm largely finished, I go over to the bed and look. She's sleeping on her back and she looks so peaceful. There are still traces of makeup on her face.
I could get in trouble for this. But I couldn't help myself. I sat on her bed gently, leaned over, and stroked a lock of hair off of her face. She sighed softly and tilted her head to my hand. I couldn't move, even if I had wanted to. I could stay right here forever. Her hair is soft, slightly curly, like mine.
She stirred and opened her eyes, looked straight at me in the dim light, bleary and unfocused. There was a question there, but not concern, and she went back to sleep almost immediately, a small smile on her face.
She had so much to worry about...so I decided that I would try to stay out of her way as much as I could. She needed to learn, she needed to train. And I wanted her to have a chance, a good chance, of going home.
Of course, I watched her. How could I not? She was so focused. Untiring, during the day. She and her District partner weren't together during Training. She went from station to station alone, working at whatever she had to do with abandon. Like her father, like me. So much like me.
I noticed that she was quiet during mealtimes. Brooding. Worried. I wanted so badly to go over and comfort her, but I couldn't do that, and it hurt, that I couldn't. I only entered her room when I was sure she was asleep, even though I wanted to go in when I heard her crying in the night. Sometimes, I'd stroke her hair, but only if I knew she was fast asleep. I like to think that it helped her relax when she went to bed frightened.
It wasn't enough, oh, it was not enough! But it was all I had. I took every chance I could to be a mother to her, even if we couldn't meet face to face. I left an extra towel for her hair. I made sure that the conditioner was right. I made sure that she always had something for breakfast by making the menu system give a sound before it was time for her to leave her room. It was little that I could do for her, now, and it would have to be enough.
The night before their private sessions with the Gamemakers, they tell me I have to serve her. The Avox coordinator could very well tell the Gamemakers what's going on, he could tell them to target her during the Games. I could not refuse. I fell apart before hand, weeping privately before I cleaned myself up for the dinner service.
To my great relief, she noticed how my hands trembled, and made a conscious effort not to look at me. I served her and things went rather smoothly, though Beetee looked up once and irecognized/i me. To his credit, he didn't say anything, though Wiress looked at him strangely until he changed the subject. Her District escort also thought there was something strange about me...but they didn't want to upset Wiress.
To discuss her upcoming private session with the Gamemakers, Wiress and Beetee were at a table, talking about what she would do. It was all right to talk in front of me, of course, and I stood nearby, waiting to see if they needed a refill on their coffee. District 3 did love their coffee.
Machines. Traps. I watched her face as she explained her plans to her Mentor. She leaned forward slightly, eager. She wanted approval from an equal, and was rewarded when he looked impressed. I was so proud of her, so very proud of her, and I went to fill her cup again.
"Thank you," she said, and looked up at me.
The shock of recognition was instant. I saw her comparing features: Eyes: different, Mouth: Same, Hair: Same, Skin: Same. At that moment, I could almost see her thoughts on her face: mama what are you doing here mama?why, what...
She opened her mouth to speak, one syllable, "I..." I shook my head slightly at her, held up my hand to stop her and then she closed her mouth abruptly, burst into tears, and ran from the room.
Beetee and I looked at each other. If he spoke to me, it could mean trouble for her. And him. And I couldn't speak, of course. This whole place was bugged, there were surveillance cameras everywhere. He knew this, how could he not? I've seen him before, he designed the whole system. I noticed everything, after all. I wondered if Wiress was like that.
He gave a slight nod of his head, and left the table after making his excuses. He would take care of her.
Later, I went into Wiress' room to clean, and when I looked upon her, I could tell that she'd cried herself to sleep. After cleaning, I stroked her hair and she came awake. She made as if to speak again, but I shook my head at her. She sighed, sniffled, and turned on her side, making it look natural, taking an opportunity to touch my hand with hers. I stroked her hair gently till she fell asleep.
It was the sweetest moment I could have ever hoped for, and I will not forget it as long as I live.