The ride to Vega's house was mostly quiet. We had the radio on but I don't think either of us were really listening to it, it was just background noise. I had started to relax when some idiot cut us off at a turn.
"Learn to drive you freakin' idiot!" I yelled out my window, hopefully loud enough for him to hear.
"Calm down Jade, it's fine. That's just how some people drive." She says it like it's no big deal, but some things just really piss me off; that guy could kill somebody! I lean back into my seat and cross my arms, my general 'I'm pissed, go away' stance.
"Yeah, well some people just shouldn't be allowed to drive." I don't know what's got me so hung up on this; I guess I'm just looking for a distraction. My head is just overloaded from today and now I'm with Vega going to her place to stay the night. I don't know why I even asked to stay with her. Oh who am I kidding, no point in lying to myself. I just don't want to be alone right now. God I'm so pathetic.
"Well…How's your hand feeling?" She asks me with a careful tone to her voice, obviously trying to get my mind away from idiot drivers.
"It doesn't hurt much, it's just kinda throbbing and some spots burn a little." I looked down at my hand, ragged cuts randomly placed across the skin. I swear, if any of these scar I'm gonna kill Beck. I say it's indirectly his fault, which it is.
"I'll take a look at it when we get to the house. And, if you'll let me, I can get it properly wrapped up. I doubt you want any of that to leave a scar." My head snaps up into her direction, it's like she's in my head. Well, I guess it could be obvious that I don't want any lasting marks to remind me of Beck. I'm so glad I won't have to deal with him this weekend. No, I shouldn't be letting myself get hung up over this, over him. I never really felt much for him anyway, he was just one of those things I had to put up with 'cause of my dad. Our dad's work together and that's how we met. Dad kept dropping not so subtle hints about how Beck seemed like a 'nice boy to be with.' Yeah, well dad, you were wrong on that one. I dated the jerk to try and please my father, which it actually helped a bit, he eased up on hating me so much. He's gonna be really pissed when he finds out about everything that happened today.
Thinking everything over so deeply, I hadn't noticed that we were already at Vega's. She shut the car off and just sat there, her face was blank like she was thinking. Maybe she regrets letting me come with her. I wouldn't blame her, who would want to deal with a mess like me? As if on its own, my non-busted up hand reached over to her. I lay my hand on top of hers and she jumps slightly, but she doesn't pull away. I don't know what I'm doing or why I'm doing it, it's like I'm on autopilot and it's scaring me. I've got to get out of this car; it's already getting way too hot in here. The sun has already set but the heat of a near summer night in LA is still pretty hot.
"Let's go in the house, it's already pretty warm in here and you're already sweating." And she was, just a little though but it was enough to see.
"Y-yeah…" She seems so far off, nervous. I'm the one that's had a jank day and I'm more worried about her than I am myself. I pull my hand away from hers and get out of the car. I only have to wait a few seconds for her to follow. I let her take the lead and follow her to the front door. She just grabs the handle and opens the door. Do these people EVER lock up their house?
"So, it's awfully quiet in here, and dark. Is no one home?" I could hardly see around me and it seemed like we were the only ones here.
"Yeah, my parents are at my aunt's house and Trina went…Somewhere. I forget; I wasn't paying much attention this morning to her rambling about it." As she went about with her explanation she turned on the lights in the living room and then walked into the kitchen. "Come here, we need to clean up your hand and get it wrapped." I was a little surprised; that wasn't a request, it was a command. Damn Vega, you've got a backbone; I like that. I felt myself grinning as I walked over to her.
"Is all of this really necessary? I think I'll be okay." Despite saying this I sat down at the table and waited for her as she brought over various medical supplies. "What the hell is all that stuff?"
"Just some…Stuff. I don't know. Just let me clean out the cuts and wrap it, okay?" She sounded annoyed, but it was like she was forcing herself to sound that way; I could see the worry in her eyes. Not saying a word I extended my hand to her and let her go to work. The cleaning stuff burned like hell but soon that feeling went away. It was like all of my body shut down when I felt my hand in hers. She's just so soft, and warm. Well, that's what girls are supposed to feel like, right? I feel like she's taking her time but that could just be my imagination. Something in the back of my mind prays that this won't end, that I won't have to let go of her again. These feelings seem to be coming out of nowhere and I'm really starting to scare myself. I'm shaking, almost violently, and she notices.
"Jade, you okay?" She quickly finishes wrapping up my hand and steps closer to me. I feel her put her hand on my shoulder and that's it…
-About an hour later-
"What happened?" I slowly sit up; I'm in a bed; who's bed? Looking around the room I start recognizing certain things. I'm in Vega's bed. So where the hell is she? As if on cue she walks into the room.
"Oh, Jade, you're awake. You passed out in the kitchen. How are you feeling?" She sits on the bed right next to me and I feel it again; that warm comfort in my heart. Just what is this?
"I-I don't know…" She looks at me, concerned. I can't keep being so vague about all of this. Maybe if I just tell her she can help me figure all of this out. I try, but I can't find the words; how can I even start?
"Jade? Just take your time, there's no rush. I can wait as long as you want me to." There's that tone in her voice again; a caring tone, an almost devoted tone. Out of the corner of my eye I see movement, she's laying her hand on my knee, gently, like she's trying to tell me that she'll make everything better. Maybe she can; it's worth a shot, it's not like I've got anything to lose.
"There's this feeling inside me, like in my heart, but it takes over my whole body when I'm…When I'm with you…I don't understand it, I can't figure out what it is, I've never felt this way before and it's scaring the hell out of me. I don't like not being able to read myself, it's like I don't even know who I am anymore." I can hear the fear and confusion in my own voice and I hate it, I hate showing my weaker side but it's like it's okay for me to be like this around her. I feel so safe with her.
Her grip on my knee tightens and I shiver a little, it's like she starts a fire inside me. She leans closer to me and lowly whispers;
"It's a feeling you get around me? How do I make you feel Jade?" I can hear the curiousness in her voice and she's starting to abandon that careful tone. She's as eager to understand this as I am.
"I feel safe, warm; my heart rate goes crazy and I get nervous. And that's just being near you; hearing your voice does things to me." I should shut up but I can't stop myself. "I know I say that I think you've got no talent but it's not true, you've got this beautiful voice that melts my heart. And when you're close to me like this, touching me," I put my hand on top of hers instinctively, "I feel like I'm on fire, like I can let down all of the walls around my heart and just let you in. I've never felt this and I don't know what it is and I hate it." Anger breaks through my voice near the end of my little ramble but it doesn't faze her at all.
"I think I know what feeling you're having Jade. It's the same way I feel around you." I look at her, my eyes wide. She feels this way around me? So this is like a mutual thing? I catch her eyes and I see this gleam in them; I've seen that look before. Every time she's helped me, her eyes have looked that way. The look she's giving me is…Loving. No, that's too much; it can't be, can it?
Her hand moves up and she's cupping my cheek; I can't help but lean into it. She's blushing again and I think I am too. She leans in even closer, her forehead rests against mine and she's smiling.
"I think what you're feeling is love Jade, and I feel it too." She says it so softly, slowly; I let it sink in. Love is too strong of a word; it's too risky. But I think she's right. Maybe that is what this is.
"How can we know for sure?" I hear a hesitance in my voice; I feel so different right now. That's part of what she does to me; she gets to see the real me, a side of myself that even I haven't seen in a while.
"There's something I want to try. Do you trust me?" She's looking in my eyes and I feel like she can see into my heart right now.
"Of course I trust you; just don't do something stupid." My old self slips through but she just lets it slide by. She's grinning in a way that makes me feel faint; this girl has way too much control over my body.
"Close your eyes." It's a command, but it's soft and I can't help but obey. Darkness covers my sight and I'm much more aware of other sensations; her hand on my cheek, her body leaning closer. I feel her breath on my lips and I know where this is going; I relax myself. I want this; I've wanted this for a while now I've just been too stubborn to except it.
Her lips are on mine and my whole body comes to life. My hands find their way to her waist and I'm kissing her back. We start off slow, gently kissing. Her hand slips behind my head and her fingers tangle themselves in my hair; holding me in place. Slowly she picks up the pace, she's kissing me harder and I want more. Just as I'm starting to get into it, she pulls away. We're both breathing a little harder than normal and she's blushing like crazy; I know I'm blushing but nowhere near as bad as she is.
"I knew there was a reason I liked you Vega, you're bold." My earlier shyness has left me, I feel energized, on fire. I've got this thirst and I know only she can quench it. Still holding her waist, I lean back until I fall onto my back on the bed. She falls with me, lying softly on top of me.
"You seem better now." She laughs as she rests her head on my chest. Now this is nice; I'd be content with just spending the rest of my life like this.
"So, what exactly are we doing? I'm still a bit confused." It's the honest truth; and, as much as I hate killing the mood, I want to understand all of this.
"Well, we 'like' each other; we just kissed, which was fantastic by the way; and well, I'm not sure how to put this last part…" She trails off going into silence as she thinks her words over. She lifts herself up, her hands on the bed at my sides, holding her up. "How far are we going to take this?"
"How far do you want to take this?" My bravado is back but it's fueled by hormones instead of false hate. She smiles at me and lowers herself until our lips are just a breath apart.
"I want to take this as far as possible." And with that little declaration, she kisses me again. I get the feeling I'm in for a long night.