"Boozing in Algonquin"

Packie staggered out of one of the many Algonquin drinking establishments, almost tripping over the steps and knocking into a group of people. Gravity seemed to betray him and his back slammed against the building's wall. The wind was knocked out of him but he remained conscious as he was soon joined by his friend, Niko.

"Shit… Niko… I'm… I'm feeling fantastic… Whoa, I might be a little on the drunk side…"

Niko used the wall to steady himself next to Packie, his head equally buzzed before he started to lurch away. "Nooo, really? Do tell."

"Fuck you and your fucking sarcasm." The retort sent Packie spiraling mentally into a whole other direction, even though he was physically struggling to stand on his own two feet. He took a couple of steps and fell over something, landing roughly on his hands and knees. "Jesus! I think I just tripped over a moose! What the hell did I just fall over?"

"That would be me, Patrick." Niko sounded so normal and composed even though he could have sworn he'd seen him down just as many shots as he had. Packie couldn't even see him at the moment, but then again, he was seeing double or triple of everything else.

"We Irish got cast-iron stomachs, Niko. We can go drinking until the Armageddon is upon us."

"No doubt."

"Did you see me with that chick back there? Totally into me. I didn't care if she said she had to use the can but never came back. She was just probably shy or something."

"Sure, Packie, sure."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Niko. Hang up." Packie rose to his feet and staggered away.

Niko climbed off the ground and rested a hand against the side of his head, no longer able to keep up with his buddy. "Hang up, what? Where are you?"

Moments later, Niko felt a rough hand settle upon his shoulder from behind, followed by the grotesque sound of vomit spewing.

"UGH!" Packie gasped as he wiped his hand with the back of his mouth, using Niko as an anchor. "Damn! This is a first for me - well, first in a while, anyway. Fuuuck, I don't remember eating that."

"I thank you for your aiming," Niko said sardonically as he shook off some of the greenish-brown heave that coated a pair of Perseus shoes he (mistakenly) chose to wear on this outing.

Packie held out a hand and said, "Gimme the keys, Niko. You're such a good, good friend. An absolute prince. Tell you what: I'm gonna drive us back to Ma's."

Niko shook his head and chuckled. He wasn't that drunk to know what a stupid idea that was. Go figure, it would be the only time any of his friends offered to drive him anywhere, as he was always assigned to be the driver.

"C'mon, Niko, I'm in better… better condition to drive than you."

"Your cast iron stomach and my shoes say otherwise. Besides, I do not have keys."

"Wait, what? How'd the fuck did we get here, then?"

"Shiiit, you can't remember? We took taxi!"

"… You lazy fucking fuck."

Five minutes later and with clearer heads, Niko and Packie were sprinting like Olympic athletes down the dark streets, away from an oncoming police cruiser with wailing siren and flashing lights.

"I can't believe you tried to jack a police car of all cars, Niko!"

"I'm sorry, okay? Forgive me for being human and making mistakes! Alcohol does that to some people!"

An oncoming car was approaching them and Niko went through the motions of robbing the driver of their wheels. It was a piece of shit car that looked like it would fall apart at a moments notice, but it was something that would allow them a better chance at escaping arrest. Packie jumped into the passenger's seat while Niko took the wheel.

"Man, Niko, If you can get us back in one piece, I won't make any cracks about your shitty driving!"

"Please, Packie, just keep quiet and let me concentrate."

"No prob - oh shit, I think I'm gonna…!"'

Niko sighed as he pressed the entire weight of his foot onto the gas pedal and Packie threw up rather noisily. The tires screeched as they soared down the road toward the bridge that stretched across the Humboldt River. Eyes on the road, he heard Packie yell out, "Weak! I just fucking washed these pants, too! Christ almighty…"