-Chapter Five-

He ran as fast as his long legs could carry him. He was bolting to the far side of Cross Academy his lungs heaving and his sides aching.

'Where am I going?' he asked himself. He didn't know…just far away from that room with his former wife inside. He'd barely registered the shocked faces on everyone in the room and Kaien promptly standing up to follow him.

Toga's legs finally stopped when he reached the fountain at the front of the campus. Exhausted he slumped down on the cement rim facing away from the rippling water. His lungs took in greedy gulps of air but they couldn't seem to replenish him. The night air was cool against his skin but he hardly took notice.

He felt thoroughly numb. He was still able to feel everything he should've at that point, but the sensations weren't to their fullest. His body and mind felt dull and slow. Was that how shock was supposed to feel he had to wonder?

Toga put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands in turn.

He might have a child. He could very well be a father…a biological father.

What would it mean if the boy was his?

What the child wasn't his? What would that mean then?

Why had Junko waited six years to ask him to be tested?

Why had she run away that morning before he woke up?

All the unanswerable questions swirled through his dazed mind. But one stuck out more than the others; 'What am I going to do?'

He didn't know. He didn't even know who to ask for advice. Toga rubbed his long fingered hands down his handsome face in defeat, before letting them fall down so he could glare at the ground at his feat. He then saw that the place he was sitting on was wet…he was most likely to be soon drenched in the mist coming from the fountain. Yet he couldn't bring himself to care.

What he cared about was the sound of shoe soles clacking calmly on the stone walkway coming towards him. He didn't look up. He knew very well who it was, and he didn't want to have to see the expression on his beloved's face. He sighed deeply too upset to even bother to try and shed tears.

Toga winced when two soft hands began to thread through his hair dispersing the moisture of the fountain mist into his silky locks turning his hair even a darker shade of black. He knew those hands so well…adored their touch. But he knew they weren't always gentle. The man in front of him squatted down and Toga deliberately avoided his gaze.

"Are you alright?" Kaien asked in nothing more than a whisper. Toga only shook his head and moved so his bangs hid his eyes. "What happened?" came the gentle question.
"I-…I don't even know how to tell you," Toga despaired biting his bottom lip. How could he possibly explain something like this?

"Just try," Kaien replied reassuringly. He took Toga's calloused hands in his and rubbed the backs with his thumbs slowly. Such a kind and loving gesture when those hands would soon never want to touch him again.

Toga took a deep breath knowing the only way this conversation-or his love life in general-could go was down. "Kaien…you remember that night when I went to go meet Junko after we split up? About three years after we divorced?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kaien nodded his head but it was evident he was a little lost.

"You remember that I was so drunk that I spent the night there?"

"Yeah," Kaien laughed softly, "Poor thing. You were such a mess when I came to pick you up."

"Well Kaien it turns out I was a mess in more way than one," Toga said as he swallowed dryly. He was slowly beginning to quake in his anxiety.

"What do you mean?" Kaien asked concerned. Toga closed his blue eye and gripped onto Kaien's hands.

"I think I slept with Junko that night," he admitted. He finally looked up to gauge Kaien's reaction. Which for now was confusion.

"You think? Don't you know?"

"I can't remember much…and I was smashed that night so…"

"Why are you telling me this?" Kaien asked quietly some of his hurt seeping through, "I appreciate that you're trying to be honest-"

"If I wanna be honest then I need to say a lot more," Toga cut him off.

Kaien took a calming breath of the crisp night air and nodded ready to hear more. Or so he thought.

"Kaien she thinks the little boy is mine," Toga blurted in an even tone.

There was silence between the two before, "What?"

Toga let out a shaky lungful of air knowing he had to spit everything out now, "If I slept with Junko that night…then we couldn't have used anything Kaien. I sure as hell wasn't planning to sleep with her but…he might be mine. She wants me to go get a DNA test to see if I really am his father-"

Slap!

Toga instantly stopped speaking as he raised a hand to his now stinging cheek. He knew this would happen. "Kaien-"

"Shut up," Kaien instantly shot back, "I don't wanna hear it."

"Please just let me-"

"No!" Kaien shouted reaching his boiling point, "its bad enough I had to find out you cheated on me when we'd been together for three years…with her! The woman that completely devastated you and left me picking up the pieces! Dammit…Toga why didn't you tell me when it first happened?"

Toga licked his lips and answered honestly, "Because I didn't know it had." "Bullshit!" Kaien screamed tears swimming in his eyes, "How does a man not know when he's fucking his ex-wife?"

"I was drunk on my ass!" Toga yelled in his own defense.

"That's no excuse!"

"No it isn't," Toga agreed earnestly, "But that's why it happened. Kaien I love you and I'd never willingly-"

"Shut your mouth before I smack you again."

Toga instantly closed his mouth and fought to keep his own tears from spilling. He'd never willingly hurt Kaien. He loved the man more than anything. Kaien was his very world…

Kaien wiped his eyes behind his glasses with the end of a sleeve. His heart was aching and he wished to be anywhere else but with the man in front of him now. A wish that seemed to go against his very being.

"I gave you everything Toga. Everything I have…everything I am… I love you…but you leave with me with no choice…I want you out of here until you get the test done."
"What?"

"It's not just you who needs to know. I need to know if everything we have is based on a lie."

"What are you talking about?"

"A man doesn't screw his ex-wife just for kicks Toga there's always some emotion behind it. How many times have you slept with her since the divorce? And if you've lied to me about this then what else haven't you told me?"

"Nothing! I swear," Toga said desperately.

"I don't believe you," Kaien said simply, "And why should I?"

"Because I love you Kaien," Toga said hoarsely with hot tears running down his face.
"If you loved me then you wouldn't have gone that night," Kaien said turning around.
"Kaien please!" Toga begged.

"Get the test done Toga, but before that get your stuff and move back to your own house. I can't live in the same home as you right now." Kaien instructed before he began to purposefully pace back the way he came. A short while later a door was slammed with a great deal of force.

Toga clamped his hands over his mouth trying to smother his sobs.

"Fuck fuck fuck!" he screamed muffled kicking at the pavement with each explicative. "Why does this always happen to me?" he lamented out loud, "Why?"

-Chapter End-

Geh. Angsty chapter is angsty! But necessary. This was actually very hard to write because I felt so sorry for Kaien and Toga. And as for your question Toga; I'm a sadistic b*tch that's why this happens to you.

I tried very hard to write what I thought was a real reaction for Kaien. Which was far more difficult than you might think. It's obviously in his character to be very calm, kind, and loving, but at the same time in this situation…you can't be like that. And if I sound like I'm talking from experience well…

Anyway, finally another chapter out! And now that I have time to work on things hopefully the next few chapters shouldn't take too long to reach you guys ^^

Thank you to everyone who's stuck with it so far! I greatly appreciate it.

But what I appreciate even more is feedback! :D

See you later!