Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue!
Standing still, Andy finally began to notice the night's cold air. She shifted her weight from her left foot to her right and rubbed her hands together to keep warm. It had been almost two hours since she'd made that phone call to Sam…since she'd left him that message.
Down the street came a pair of headlights that slowed as they grew closer to her. Surprisingly, it had only taken him a few minutes to drive from wherever he had been to where she was now standing.
"Andy? Quick, get in. It's freezing out there." Luke gently called through the window he had wound down.
"Hey…thanks" Andy replied as she slid into his passenger's seat.
Andy stiffened as Luke began to rub his hands up and down her shoulders and arms in an apparent effort to de-thaw her.
"Thanks, Luke…thanks." Andy said as she shrunk away from his unwelcomed touch.
"Andy…what the heck are you doing out here alone?"
"Yeah…just…well, I was doing a favor for a friend. Feeding a cat. Then…I don't know. I didn't have a ride home."
"A friend? A cat? Andy, are you talking about Swarek? Humph…He's never struck me as a cat kind of guy."
"Why would you think that I'm talking about Sam?" Andy asked defensively.
"Because…he lives on this end of town? I don't know. I thought that he was your friend."
"Not anymore."
"Oh yeah, why's that?"
Andy stayed quiet and shrugged her shoulders.
"Andy…he's no good for you. He's only…"
"No, Luke. You know what…I'd rather walk. Pull over. "
"Andy…I didn't mean t…"
"You don't get a say in what's good for me. I don't want to hear it. I don't have to."
"I know…I know that you don't. But, just hear me out. Please. I know that you don't believe me. I can't blame you for that. But, I do love you. I mean…I really love you. And…here's the thing, Andy. I'm not asking you to take me back. I wouldn't want you to take me back. What I did was…it makes me sick. You're too good for that…you're too good for me. I want you to be happy. I want you to be treated like you deserve to be treated. And Andy, I know that I'm probably not the one to do that for you. But…what I'm trying to say is this…neither is Sam Swarek."
Luke glanced over at Andy to gage her response, but she was turned from him looking out the window. Tears were running down her face, but she refused to reach up to wipe them away because she didn't want Luke to know that she was crying.
"I know that you think you know him, Andy. You guys spend a lot of time together. But, remember…I've known him longer. He's a good cop, Andy. I understand why you'd look up to him. But, Swarek…he comes and goes. He disappears, Andy. He likes to. It's what he does. You deserve someone who'll be there for you."
"He's there when it counts" Andy spat as she remembered Sam saying those exact words to her only a few months earlier.
"Where is he tonight? You were so close to his house. Why wasn't he the one to come pick you up? Did you try to call him?" Luke responded momentarily losing his cool.
"Luke…I am sorry that I couldn't be enough for you. I wanted to be. I tried. You know…I think…when it comes down to it…it wasn't even that. Uhh…we keep lying to ourselves and to each other. And…it's just hard because life…it's just never what you think it might be, Luke. And, you know…you did what you did. You say it was a mistake…but…you know that you did it because you wanted to. And you keep saying that you love me, but you don't. You've never loved me even though maybe you thought that you should. And, you know…that's okay. Because…I've never loved you either. You're handsome and charming and smart and it seemed like something that I could do…love you. But I never did."
"I love him, Luke. I love him and I don't care if he ever loves me back. I don't care if he leaves. I don't care about any of that. I don't care if it hurts you to hear it. And the worst part of it all is that I don't know why I feel that way. I don't know why I love him and not you. Earlier…I called him. I went to his house. That's where I was when I called you to pick me up. I left him a message and I told him that I loved him. He never called me back. I've been standing outside all night in the cold waiting for him. He never called. You're right…you were the one to come pick me up…not Sam. But…if he called me…if my phone rang right now and it was him…and if he wanted to see me…I would get out of your car and run all the way back to him. I am sorry that I don't love you, but I do care about you enough to tell you the truth and that is it. I am in love with Sam Swarek. I have always loved him. I always will. There is nothing that you can do…there is nothing that he can do…to change it."