Read and review is all I ask for thanks. I'm so sorry for the mix up I feel so stupid this is the real first chapter

Twitter: greeneyed32

Disclaimer I don't own anything geez' thanks for reminding me.

CLARE'S POV

"ALI!"

"CLARE!"

"You look amazing haven't changed at all"

"You look amazing too what are you doing back?" I'm moving back to get my life back and fix all the mistakes I've made I thought to myself.

"Visiting my parents and wanted to pop in and say hello to some old friends"

That's when I noticed her finger.

"Ali what's that?"

"I'm engaged" she waved her hand in my face full of excitement.

"That's fantastic!"

"Yeah Dave is a definite keeper" she said admiring the ring then putting her hand down.

"We can talk about that later who have you seen? Are you staying at your parent's house? How long are you staying?"

"I'm staying at a hotel so I won't intrude on my mom and her …boyfriend" I shivered at the word

"But you're the only one I've seen so far tell me what's up how's everyone"

She went on about Adam getting serious with some girl I didn't catch her name. drew just got out of a bad relationship with a girl Katie, and I found I forcing myself to listen I was waiting for her to talk about him I wonder how he is.

"that's it but tell me about you how's life going I know you just got a book published I bought a copy I'm so proud of you not many 23 year olds are as accomplished as you."

My mind was spinning she didn't say anything about him nothing I wanted to scream at her I could tell she was hiding something is he okay.

"Thank you but how is…he?" I couldn't say his name out loud I felt guilty.

"Who?"

"Don't play dumb I don't have the patience." She sighed

"well he is good, now Clare honey you know I love you but I'm friends with both of you and I'm telling you as a friend, stay away when you left he was in bad shape how could you do that not just to him but to all of us you left and we had to deal with your mess you have a lot of nerve to come waltzing back like nothing. You know what were not going to go there I'm happy to see you"

"I'm sorry Ali I know I was wrong but I was scared I was only 18 and my life was planned out to the day I died he was scared of loosing me but he pushed me away I was too young to talk about marriage kids it was too much"

"It wasn't too much to deal with when you said yes, we both know what kind of man Eli is if things were happening too fast for you, you could have said slow down he would've Clare. He would've done anything for you and you let him go!"

"I'm sorry I was wrong I know okay" I started to cry and Ali hugged me.

"I know, I know but listen Clare you're too late it took a long time for us to fix Eli he isn't whole but he is as good as it gets for him he is still fragile held together with tape do us all a favor see your parents and just leave."

She started to cry and got up from the couch.

"Ali I have to see him"

"No Clare haven't you done enough listen I didn't want to tell you but he… is getting married, she what he needs she came in like an angel when he needed her the most and you; you left when he needed you the most, so do what you do best just leave." She went to open the door and cried more.

"Ali I…"

"I love you Clare please just leave" and I left with out looking back had I really messed him up, of course I did I'm an idiot I still remember leaving, a mistake I regret for the rest of my life I won't make that mistake again I'm not leaving not again.

I walked to my car got in that's when it hit me he's engaged of course he is he's amazing I'm too late. I heard his voice and a thousand memories came flooding back to me I cried my eyes out banging on the stirring wheel. I'm an idiot I had the best thing going for me but I didn't see it I was selfish I have to get him back.

The next day I called Adam he agreed to go apartment shopping with me.

"Clare damn it's been long time I missed you so much"

"I missed you too"

"So you're moving back eh?"

"Yeah I need to get back to my roots I miss everyone so much"

"Yeah I talked to Ali she said you were visiting?"

"Yeah I didn't know how to tell her she isn't happy with me and she wants me to get out of Toronto as fast a humanly possible"

"Yeah well she's got Eli at mind but she will be okay"

"You're not mad at me?"

"Nah it was practically a life time ago you and Eli both moved on, right?"

"Yeah of course" he eyed me skeptically but dropped it.

"What's she like?"

"She's…nice I really like her" he said not looking at me

"It's okay to like her; I'm not here for him. you don't need to pick a side" lies.

"Good because she's amazing and if Eli didn't get her I would've went for it" he laughed

"And they're happy" he continued.

"Yeah that's what matters, but he is happy?"

"Edward?"

"I'm just asking" I defended myself

"Sure you are"

We found the perfect place and I got it on the spot Adam and Drew would help me move in tomorrow. I drove Adam home he hugged me.

"It's good to have you back Clare"

"It's good to be back"

He got out waving me off I've really missed him.

Next day

"Clare-bare!" I turned around to see drew running to me.

"You know you're the only one that still calls me that"

He nodded while hugging me picking me up in the process.

"So what's your plan to win him back?"

"What"

"oh please you mean to tell me you moved back and you aren't trying to get Eli back come on I wasn't born yesterday I'm with you, you and Eli belong together we could tell her he cheated or we could kidnap her and.."

"Drew stop I'm here for me, not him and I hear she's awesome"

"She's alright but you don't mess with original"

"Shut up Drew" Adam chimed in we got too moving and where done pretty fast.

Adam left and soon Drew did as well but before he did he gave me Eli's address and phone number he told me to call him and stop this wedding before I regret it I told him I didn't come back for Eli and threw the paper in the trash.

"your going to regret this Clare" he left and I went to unpack I finished and sat on a couch I put a DVD on since I wouldn't get cable till Monday morning I was watching it when my eyes wondered to the trash can.

I shook my head and continued to watch the movie but I found myself with the paper in my hand with the phone I was dialing and my heart and brain was racing.

Ring, ring, ring hello? His voice was the same and it made me freak out I hung up and I felt teary eyed the guilt was really getting to me I felt stupid for hanging up so I re dialed I'd just say I'm back and I wanted to say hello but my phone lost service yeah that's good.

Ring, ring, ring, and then it went to voicemail

This is Eli…and Julia a perky voice popped in leave me, no leave us she interrupted again yes leave us a message at the tone I heard her laughing stop Eli stop he was tickling her they must have thought they hung up on the voice mail.

I hung up and threw my phone I felt sick the tears that were clouding my vision began to fall and I didn't stop them I lost the greatest thing I had and there was no one to blame but me.

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