Well, let's hope more people like this story, because it's still trailing horribly to…almost all my other stories on Fanfiction. Still opting for people liking this~
A bit depressing that my lemons are the fics I write with the best reception. Curse you dirty minded populous! Especially in this category. My two M PWPs have 8 reviews alreadeh…
Apparently Scarring Children for life and trolling are commendable activities, and I'm glad people think it's funny.
Not so glad that MBaV won't be airing its second season till…Like early next year, and even worse that it's so short. On the bright (and random) side, Legend Of Korra has a 26 Episode line-up thus far, but it's not gonna air for a while T_T.
Didn't get any suggestions about what aspects of High School to write about, but it doesn't' really matter that much, especially so early on.
Although I have no idea what the Canadian school system is like. So don't yell at me!
Someone needs to write an Etharah called A Night Of Scandal. Seriously.
Chapterly Advice: Expecting timely updates from SturbangeRotrum is a very bad idea. He's trying to work on numerous fanfiction simultaneously, has very difficult summer math homework (AKA: Is too lazy to do it), is "Creatively Constipated," has chronic writer's block, and all that shyte.
Random Message: I still don't own XKCD, but I make a shitton of references to it. I've been told I'm addicted to XKCDs. That may or may not be true. I also don't own Skyskater, which is impossible, but I was inspired to write a guide by her, and I stole some of the French translations in this chapter from her Matt's Guide because…I don't know French. I know some Spanish…So yeah, don't' complain that my French is bad. I basically stole a few French phrases from several people.
Rory: Why don't we get to be bolded?
Sarah: Does it matter?
Rory: It's nice to be appreciated…
Ethan: You vandalized my notebook!
Rory: You left it lying around!
Ethan: It had three locks on it, was inside five boxes, and was hidden behind one of three doors, one with a guard that always tells the truth, one with a guard who always lies, and one with a guard who stabs you if you ask tricky questions!
Rory: Yeah, about them, their blood was a little thin.
Ethan: RORY!
Erica: Sturbanger doesn't own anything. There, my contract has been fulfilled *Walks off*
The Highschooler's Guide to Life, The Supernatural, and White Chapel begins!
Bonjour! J'espere que ta journee est le tabernak! I'm in French class right now, as you can tell by what I just said. If you have no idea what I just said, don't leave because you think I'm cussing you all out or something. Then I might get fired. And I only used ONE curse word! Anyways, I said Hello! I hope your day is badass!
I hope your day is badass, because even though I'm only in first period I definitely can't say my day is going to be. Besides the fact that I'm still recovering from being bitten by a vampire (So far I've been: Human, Human[Seer], momentarily fledgling, and Werewolf. Isn't this a delightful town? Let's stick this onto the list of reasons not to move to White Chapel, shall we? Unless, of course, you want to be the one-man play of Dusk or something like that)
So, this morning was pretty normal, actually. Benny, Sarah, Erica (Reluctantly), and I all met at a curb where we got into Sarah's car (Which she doesn't actually need since she can fly). Then Rory popped up out of nowhere. Then, the argument started. It happens everyday. It's the argument that starts when Erica complains to Sarah that "Popular and hot girls shouldn't shepherd nerds around, and we definitely shouldn't appear at school with them!" Or something like that.
Of course Benny and Rory both say that they're cool because of Stachowski-ism or Vampirism or something like that, while Sarah and I try to make them shut up so we don't end up crashing into a poor, innocent victim (It hasn't happened yet, no. But it will!). Then Sarah would lose her car and Benny and I would have to walk, and Rory would…Fly, and Sarah would…Fly, and Erica would complain that if she flies then her hair will get ruined and she'll force Sarah to walk with her, and Rory will stalk them.
I tried explaining this yesterday, but I've officially given up on them now.
So we got to school, and Erica disappeared at high speeds in order to not be seen entering the school with us, Sarah sighed, and the rest of us went inside. So yeah, regular morning *Unfortunately*.
When we went inside, the morning news was airing over the intercom system. The newswoman said something along the lines of, "Yesterday, Hackers took down the website of the CIA." About half of the students heard, "THE CIA HAS BEEN HACKED! WE COULD BE NEXT!" And were running around screaming. The other half were laughing because they heard, "The CIA has been hacked, those vulnerable Americans!"
Benny and I spoke nerdspeak, so we, and the rest of the people who do, heard, "Hackers tore down a poster put up by the CIA. In other news…" So it was pretty funny looking at the Chaos. Sarah just kinda facepalmed after she realized that she had been hanging around us too much and she actually heard it the way we did.
So, after that morning, I could tell this wasn't going to be a good day. Waking up to arguing, and chaos rarely leads to anything good (Like I said, a daily routine). In general it just makes people irritable. Let's add that to Reasons not to move to White Chapel. Before Rory steals this again, I'll clarify. Rory's existence is NOT a reason to move to White Chapel. If he tells you otherwise, remember this is MY guide, not Rory's. Maybe someone else will publish Rory's guide. But this is MY guide! So do NOT listen to thieves. Especially not Vampire Ninja Thieves who can't decide what to name themselves, and can't tell the difference between zombies and teachers.
Soooo…French Class, the class where students yell at each other in a language different from the language they normally yell at each other with, while simultaneously learning new words with which to yell at each other with. It's also the class where people trade situations in which they can actually say "C'est ce qu'elle a dit", AKA that's what she said. I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if the French Teacher's Motto wasn't: "You can say anything you want in my classroom, as long as you say it in French." So…Remember recess? Take all the yelling and cursing and stick it in this classroom, then translate it into French, and you now have my French Class. I suppose it wakes you up for the day.
It's a wonder anyone is learning anything. Of course, I, being a geek, have to ace all my classes. It's part of my job description. Unfortunately, your genius Guidemaker also has to spend time tutoring Benny, who has a tendency to pronounce every letter. AKA: French is the worst language possible for him to learn. (Don't even try to teach him a language with characters)
I don't even know why there have to be so many silent letters in French, the language itself is a maze of random letters, half of which you pronounce. Then there are all the vowels! General Rule Of Thumb: If there are a million vowels, it's French. If there are a million consonants, it's German. Oh, and if there are more than four Ks in a sentence and no Cs, it's probably German.
Most surprisingly of all, no one in my class is currently failing. Although they may want to cut back on the coffee, because, one of these days, someone is going to run through a wall. And another one of these days, they're all going to turn into French-Speaking Zombies. Oh, wait. They already did. Five of them are absent due to recovering from head injuries suffered in a coffee shop. Our teacher doesn't even bother with roll call, she just takes out one of those things that measures decibels and waves it around for the first five minutes of class. According to that thing, we're all due to go deaf by late May. Go figure.
Bon Sang… (Damn it...). I'll…get back to this later.
-FML-
So I was really considering writing more than just French Class this chapter (Which I don't have, obviously.) But y'know, I figured this was a nice stopping point, and that you guys have been waiting long enough anyways.
Do they have free periods in Canada O.o? I clearly did not plan this thoroughly enough!
No Flames or I shall slowly make you deafer and deafer until you become deaf sometime in May! Then I shall overrun your town with French Speaking Zombies, but you won't know until it's too late, for you will be unable to hear anything!
Anyone wanna suggest what the rest of Ethan's schedule should look like?