The air was suddenly heavy with electricity, buzzing and zapping around Feferi's ears. The princess dropped her make up brush, turning around from her vanity and scanning her chamberblock.
"W-who's there?" she asked, her voice faltering greatly. Suddenly, her door closed with a bang, and her anti-light window coverings flew shut, dropping the young troll into complete darkness. She heard the door lock with a shuddering 'click'. Darkness accumulated in a swirling mass before the trembling girl. It shifted and changed until it had gathered into a single form; a young human girl, with short blond hair, gray, death-like skin, and a purple ribbon with holes cut into it over her eyes, concealing her identity. In her hands she held two sparking knitting needles, like weapons of mass-destruction in her small, gray hand. She looked down at Feferi with an aggravated glare.
"I-I know who you are!" Feferi cried, the fish puns scared out of her, "you're the Assassin Grim Dark!"
"Of course you know who I am," the Assassin snapped, "you are the one who hired me, I am sure of it!"
"I-I have no idea what you're talking about!" Feferi cried, clutching the seat of the bench on which she sat with a vice-like grip. The Assassin rolled her purple eyes.
"No one seems to remember..." she started, massaging her temples with her forefingers, "including myself. From what I can deduct, a curse or otherwise magical meddling of some sort has taken place here, and it has in turn affected this whole nation, including even myself. However, I have seen and gathered evidence from viewing my past actions in my magical orb, and you indeed asked me to kill or otherwise maim to the point of death a member of your family. You asked me to wait until this family member entered the marketplace, at which time I would come and do the foretold deed. And as I entered this establishment, I lost my memory of the cause, and do not know who it was you had stricken myself against."
("Dude, man, holy motherfuck I didn't understand half that shit."
"Yeah, uh, she uses big words sometimes.")
"I-I have no idea! I don't think I could bring myself to krill anyone, let alone cull someone of my own family! I love King Dave and Evil Queen/Step-mom Vriska."
"No, no, it was definitely you," the Assassing Grim Dark looked around the room, diligently, focusing in on a stray picture frame on the princess's vanity, and, with a swish of her knitting needles, watched it fly into her hands with great satisfaction, "hm, this name," she said, rubbing her fingers along the edge of the golden frame, where a name was scrawled out, both in Trollian and English, "Tavros Nitram. She looks...pretty, and quite familiar, actually. This, I am sure, is who you asked me to kill. Well, I am going to finish this job, and now I know who I am looking for."
With a crash of lightening, she disappeared, leaving the room bright with sunshine once more as the door unlocked, and the windows flew open, basking the room in light as before.
Feferi blinked, looking around the room. Then, she shrugged, and went back to applying her concealer.
"Fuck! What the holy fuck is this hornless, pigmented douchebag doing now?"
"Calm down, KK, you'll blow a gathket thith way. Not that that won't, like, teath you a lethon or anything."
"You shut up!" Karkat hissed, the vein on his temple angrily protruding, just visible under his shiny metal helmet, "I am the leader! It's me! So you can just shut your lispy little protein chute and let me do my knightly business!" He brought the telescope back up to his eyes, peering through the scope with profound concentration. Of course, through the leaves of the bush they were hiding in, he couldn't see much of the Heir, but hell, he wasn't going to let Sollux know that. The idiot already knew too much with his vision two-fold.
"What are we effen doing KK?"
"Following this retarded, pink-skinned Prince of Derp."
"Okay, yeth, but WHY?" Sollux, the knights appointed squire, gave Karkat a thin-lipped glare, barely noticeable through his dual-toned goggles and bright red hooded cloak. There were many times where Karkat questioned the glasses' origins; like, where the heck do you even buy glasses like that? He figured Sollux had his own shady sources.
"Why...?" Karkat echoed. To be honest, he wasn't sure anymore. But he knew he was supposed to be following the black-haired, blue-eyed, and exceptionally-cute—wait, what? No, he meant exceptionally retarded...yeah—Prince John...for some reason. He wasn't too sure, but he really had nothing better to do than hide in a bush, after running around after a Prince, who appeared to possibly be lost, in full knight armour, with a squire who doused him with spit every time he spoke.
Besides, the Prince seemed to know what he was doing.
In fact, said Prince had no idea what he was doing. At that moment, he was standing in one of the many forests surrounding Camternia, letting his horse and Princely Entourage take a well deserved break. He liked giving them breaks, since they were doing so much for him, and he liked to look at the foreign scenery every once in a while. He was also leaning against a rock in the shade, studying something he scribbled on the back of his hand with his quill the day before while leaving the castle. He always wrote messages to himself on the back of his hand if it was SUPER IMPORTANT not to forget. Right now he had "save princess tavros 3" scrawled there and he wasn't sure why. The strange part was that he remembered writing the words, but he couldn't remember who this mysterious Princess Tavros was, or why she was in trouble in the first place. He dipped his hand into his pocket, feeling the ring box which still made its home there brush against his fingertips. Surely this ring was intended for Princess Feferi? No, that didn't feel right...no, he would search all the land for this Tavros, since he knew in his heart that was who it was for...whoever she was. He would search all of Camternia for her, and make her his bride, bringing Alternilot and Camternia together forever! He smiled; this was a good idea, something that would make his Dad really super proud!
"Okay, guys, we should probably start to get going if you're, well, up for it!" he said, jumping up off the rock and marching with a new energy to his horse; the Trolls in his entourage called them muscle-beasts, those silly aliens. Except, uh, they're not aliens in Camternia, 'cause they've been there for a long time I think...probably, "we're going to start searching for this Lady, Princess Tavros, right here in these woods! I want you to question every commoner you find, because maybe she's hiding or something, like a true prankster. Oh! Imagine if she was a trickster like me! We could have our wedding on April fools! I mean, if they have it here in Camternia."
"What ith wrong with thith guy?"
"Shush, these are precious moments that you're ruining!" Karkat cried, ignoring the warmth rushing to his cheeks, "I mean, fuck, you know, talking like that's gonna give our position away!"
"Give me that!" Sollux cried, trying to grab the telescope from Karkat's hands. The knight-to-be tried to hide the golden telescope behind his back, but couldn't quite manoeuvre around in his clunky armour, and ended up just sticking his tongue out at Sollux and holding the telescope over his head. Sollux growled, his eyes glowing blue and red, about to say something rather passive-agressive and moody until:
"Oh, hi there! Why are you in a bush? Is that something you Camternians do often?"
"AH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK HEY DON'T TOUCH ME YOU FUCKASS!" Karkat screamed as a wet and clammy hand slipped into his own. Suddenly the hand was gripping his arm and pulling him upwards, until he was on his feet and face-to-face with the Prince, who stared at him curiously through round spectacles; his golden crown was places on his messy black hair at a rather jaunty angle, and he was decked out in his complete Princely attire; a blue jacket made of satin trimmed with orange ribbon, and bright orange stockings that were covered in white muscle-beast hair. On his back hung a bright yellow quiver, and he slung a blue bow over his shoulder. His face was plastered with the most derpy, beautiful, and rage-inducing smile Karkat had ever seen, and he had black ink smeared across the back of his left hand; the one not holding on to Karkat's.
"Oh?" He asked, blinking, his big blue eyes making him resemble an owl or some sort of cute forest-creature, "oops, sorry!" He let go of Karkat, who fell back into the bush with a crash of metal-hitting-metal. Sollux, who had stood up, his lanky form towering over the other two, chuckled and brushed off his pants.
"Hey, whatth up?" he asked, jutting out his hand for John to take it. The Prince produced the most unmanly giggle Karkat had ever heard, and shook Sollux's gloved hand with his own. Then he bowed nicely, too, because that's how they greet each other in Alternilot.
"Nice to meet you! I'm Prince John Egbert, from Alternilot. I'm in search of someone named...er..." he checked the back of his hand, "Tavros. Have you mysterious bush-dwellers know of anyone by that name?"
"Nope, no clue, can't help you kid," Karkat said, struggling to his feet. He regretted putting on his armour that day, but when he woke up that morning, he thought it would make him feel more badass while on a dangerous, heroic quest he wasn't quite sure the point to, "sorry we'll just be on our way because I sure as fuck don't want to talk to you."
"Alright, then," John said, bowing again, "I didn't mean to bother you! You two can go back to whatever it was you were doing to make that bush shake like that—"
"Now you listen here you little—" Karkat started to scream, his face turning bright red, when he was suddenly being lifted into the air by a red and blue glow around his waist, "SOLLUX YOU TRAITOR PUT ME DOWN!"
"I'm thorry to haff bothered you, thir," he gave a curt headnod, "my partner ith a little headthrong."
"Oh, I see," John looked up at Karkat, who was fighting against the bonding psionics, twirling around in the air like a synchronized swimmer in rapids, "well, I'm looking for someone named Tavros. She has to be a princess, too, I...uh, think? And I don't think you two are really the traditional princess types so I won't really bother you asking if you're her!"
"Yeth, then, we'll juth be on our way, then," Sollux frowned, turning on his heels and marching off to nowhere-in-particular, finally letting Karkat down a little ways away, out of John's earshot, "fuck, why do I abtholutely thuck at talking to people?"
"Nah, it wasn't so bad, I mean, he was still at least fifty percent dry," Karkat glared, rubbing his head where he'd been dropped on, "fuck! That douchebag is going to get to the prize before us! Now we know what we're looking for; a princess named Tavros, so as long as we stay ahead of that little prick, we should get there first!"
"Yeth, that ith an abtholutely perfect plan, KK," Sollux looked up to the sky, "well, why don't we thart down in town? Near the market? While he'll be up here thearthing the foretht."
"That's a horrible idea," Karkat grumbled, before sighing and adding, "but at least it's a plan."
Sollux helped him to his feet, and the two started to make their way down into the little village, a smile even escaping Karkat's lips on the way.
"Dear diary," Eridan sighed, sitting at his desk in the Evil Lair Hive, writing in his super serious journal with his favourite, foot-long purple quill, "today, or rather, last night somethin' amazing happened," he smiled broadly, feeling the butterflies in his digesting chamber flutter as he looked out his window at the Camternian Sea, "I think I hawe found myself red for a certain little angel fish. Diary...erp," he scratched out the word diary, "JOURNAL, I hawen't felt this way about anyone, let alone a blasted landdweller, since Princess Fef declined my proposal last sweep. This is how I got hooked by Wriska in the first place; I was swept up in this act of rewenge on the royals and wowed to kill at least one of them, maybe two 'cause that King Dave is an insufferable prick. Anyone except Fef...I don't think I could ewer kill her, not ewen in a fit of rage, hate, and jealousy! That would newer happen..." he looked over his shoulder quickly; his assistant, a seahorse lusus, tended to barge into his respiteblock when he was writing heart-felt diary, uh, journal entries...or his angst-ridden poetry about the suppression of highbloods. He would never show anyone that, though, "anyways, diary, I will admit here, I am bright burnin' red for Ewil Qween Wriska, and I think that maybe this time it's finally requited...'cause she grabbed my hand last night...! I would do anythin' for her...so now I am caught in her net, and I can't get out of it. I can't about this mission ewen if I wanted to...not that I want to," He giggled to himself, "watching Tarwos run around like a lowly little peasant blood is the most entertaining. Ah, fuck—"upon hearing someone enter the room, he slammed his diary shut and threw it under his desk, spilling purple ink all over his stripped pants, "ah! What a beach! Dad!"